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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > The fears of being alone      Home login  
 untamed one
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 2
The fears of being alone Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Better brush up on your Heimlich and CPR , me i'd like to think of more romantic reasons of being together ..
 Call Me Sugar
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 6
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 5:01:11 PM
Azalea... your answers are always so brilliant... lol
 Call Me Sugar
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 7
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 5:08:45 PM
sorry.. i was crackin up at Azalea's reply i forgot to put my own 2 cents in...

my fear of being alone is that no one will know where i hide my toys and personal things and if i die my family will find them before anyone has a chance to get rid of them and they will be left with an awful impression of me.... lol
i dont think i wanna be remembered like that... lol
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 8
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 5:09:18 PM
I would personally FEAR being with someone I didn't really care for
much more than being alone.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 12
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 6:02:22 PM
That I will croak and ............

My dog and cat would end up dead too - from no food or water.
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 6:35:46 PM
I hate being alone in fear.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 8:03:56 PM

That I will croak and ............

My dog and cat would end up dead too - from no food or water.

Exactly. All those making snide remarks, of course those of us who live alone think about what would happen if we got hurt or died, it's not like someone will show up in a few hours, we may alone for days before someone would check, or someone may never check until the smell gets to the neighbors. I don't care so much about dying but the poor cats, what an awful way for them to die, to starve to death and whimpering about their dead caretaker not getting up. I'm not sure why so many people are acting like this woman is a joke, when she's thinking about something real that could happen to her.
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 8:22:51 PM
I learned in my marriage that feeling lonely while you're living with someone is far worse than feeling lonely when you live alone. My best friend and I check on each other if one falls out of contact - that gives us both some sense of security. My cats always have a big bowl of hard food sitting out for them, that'll last 3-4 days. If they run out, they're welcome to eat what's left of me and there's no hard feelings. Bottom line, I'd rather take my chances choking on something, than by slow torture in an unhappy marriage.
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 19
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:03:15 AM
I dont fear being alone; those that fear being alone make terrible decisions and are in relationships just so they dont have to be alone.

I always say two halves dont make a whole when it comes to relationships. Those that aren't afraid to be alone usually make better decisions and are healthy for relationships.
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 20
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:42:24 AM
"I don't fear being alone. I've done it for five years. I just simply know that the best parts of me were always brought out by loving somebody else. It's how I'm wired."

I agree and I also think a lot of us wired that very same way...

I think, psychologically speaking, it's human nature to want to be paired up, I can't think of the study right at the moment, it's late and it's been a really long day, but I seem to recall someone did a study about this inherent need in most people... if I can find it, I'll post it, but you're in good company if you feel this way on some level, because a good portion of the rest of us feel it as well... I don't know that it's an actual need per se, to be coupled or married, or anything like that, nor do I recall if it specifically refers to marriage or coupledom, but if memory serves me even remotely at this moment, I want to say that it was more of a study relative to the human psyche's vis a vis human make up, to have an inherent need to connect on a level that is less superficial and more on a psychic and deep emotional level with other human beings.

Like I said if I can find the study I'm thinking of I'll post it. But don't feel bad, you're in the same boat with a whole bunch of fishy who want to connect to something or someone as well because we're wired that way too... those connections can be to friends, family, siblings, pets, a myriad of things...

Suz aka Sami
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 22
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 7:57:23 AM
i have no fear of being alone. i drove myself to the hospital to give birth to my son
great to have reliable men who take reaponsibility and "SAVE" me from my lonliness.
YEAH RIGHT????!!!! I have yet to find a gving compassionate man who will make me feel loved not lonely.
I HAVE NO FEAR OF BEING ALONE. esp. with the men i have been meeting.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 23
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:40:30 AM
I have no fears of being alone. You don't have to live alone and be lonely if you surround yourself with friends and family and have interests that fill up your time. You don't have to live with someone you have a relationship with and I'm finding I like that better than the 24/7 type of relationships. My ex, on the other hand, has a deathly fear of being alone to the point where he's staying in a relationship that he's not satisfied with and has openly admitted it's because he's afraid of being alone. I think what a horrible slap in the face it would be to his partner if she knew that's the way he felt. In her case, I'd sooner be alone than be with someone for their own selfish reasons - then again, she may be staying with him for the exact same reason.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 24
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 1:57:11 PM
To the person afraid of choking to death while alone - bend over and roll head first down stairs. The bumpety bumping will dislodge whatever you're choking on. And yes, you do have time to climb the stairs while you're choking. (don't ask!)

Honestly? I'd personally prefer to choke to death alone than with someone else around - the last time I nearly choked to death (yes, it happens frequently) the guy I was dating did the Heimlich and broke three of my ribs which hurt a hell of a lot more than the choking had....

Been alone 12 years, I only fear dying alone and having my cats eat my face off before someone finds my dead body.

But then I recall I can't stand cats so it's not likely to happen.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 26
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 2:05:35 PM
Being lonely is really not something that is feared. I think everyone experiences some sort of loneliness each day, even if just a slight hint of it! What we lack is companionship, real companionship. Someone that can share your laughter and love....

I myself enjoy being by myself yet I also enjoy having someone special to spend time with. It's all in the way you play your cards in each day and everything you do. Get more involved in things. Instead of eating dinner alone at night at a lonely table, take it to go on a walk and stop at a park. People watching is interesting and you can never go wrong with the warm air on your back and the slight breeze in your hair!

I can pretty much find anything to do that will keep me happy, and music is something that always fills the room.

I love my meeee time even if that means I am all alone when having it!!!!

Janice Marie
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 29
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 5:29:31 PM
I love being alone!! I have friends and enough family to play football and kids flock to me like I'm the pied piper or something.

I love people and seem to attract them like double coupon day at the WalMart, so when I DO finally get the chance to be alone it is almost sacred.

I fear nothing. Life is wonderful and just being there and of service to others is pure joy to me. I don't need a man or a mate, but if God chose to place one in my life he would be the luckiest and most blessed man alive.

There are a plethera of things to enjoy, to learn about, to try!! I really want to try to body luge. I saw it the other night on 20/20 and now I'm obsessed with the idea.

I love discovering new things and if I die, I will never die alone or out of my time sequence because I'm loved beyond words and cherished beyond all comprehension......and I'm anything but "average."
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 30
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/17/2009 4:51:52 PM
Yeah, I agree with most of the posters here, but will add this little quote:

"The only thing worse than being lonely and alone, is being lonely while with someone."

Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 31
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/17/2009 8:39:42 PM
I don't see mayself as being old, but I had an experiace,my last gf saved my life, I was none responsive with fever of 105, she called an abulace, it was close, but I'm here to tell the tale due to her, I never would have been able to do it because I had no idea where I was.
That said, I can't say that even crosses my mind when it comes to finding someone, I just want someone to share my life with,and thats it.
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 33
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 12:30:39 AM
Im 20 and I am still young and i fear being alone day by day. I see young couples day by day and it bothers me. I live a boring life iif i say so myself, and I feel that im doing the same routine day in and day out, and it feels good to know someone loves you or w.e I guess ultimatly what i fear most in being alone is that ill never find someone just because I never really been in a relationship for no longer then 1 week.
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 34
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 3:47:09 AM
I think it comes down to what you're looking for. If you want that mad, crazy can't be without the other person kind of love then to just be with anyone so that you're not alone I think is terrible. Surely it's worse to settle for someone when you feel there may be someone better out there for you. If you just want the companionship and the sex I guess it doesn't matter. Having said though how would you feel if you were crazy about someone and you find out that they only settled for you, how heartbreaking would that be? Talk about make you feel crap about yourself!
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 35
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:14:38 AM

Having said all that,it's odd that people who are "happy" in their "aloneness" still feel the need to interact w/ others in a forum like this for extended periods of time.
Obviously they are receiving SOMETHING from their interaction...or they wouldn't be doing it.
But it's equally obvious that people who are alone in their "real world" are less empathetic towards others and have self-aggrandized views of lives lived alone that can't possibly be reality.

If you like being alone..fine.
I'm sure the world will accommodate you.
But it really looks funny when people that are alone have to tell others how "great' they think being alone is for them.

Being happy in whatever state you are in: in a relationship, not in a relationship, with a job, unemployed, getting over a tragedy, happily enjoying life, all these situations are just a part of life and life is good.

Happiness and enjoying life involves knowing you are loved and cherished by the one who created you and knows your every thought, your every move, everything about you and loves you unconditionally.

Just because we enjoy discourse and communication with others doesn't mean we are somehow in denial. I interact with people all day long and have many, many people who I love and care about and who return the favor.

Being in a relationship doesn't make me a better person or fulfill me. I'm daily striving to be a better person and I'm already fulfilled.

If I met someone and they were "right" and "good" for me and I for them, then that would be all the better. Otherwise, I'm still happy and content with my life and the people in it. Love is never wasted.
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 36
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:19:57 AM
i only fear being alone when i hear things in the attic...or in the walls...or in the heating ducts.

bats creep me out and sometimes i would feel much more comfortable with another person here.

but duct tape and a second door work wonders. so i don't feel so much fear.
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 37
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:33:31 AM
I have absolutely no fears of being alone...After a few marrages I am happy for the first time of my life....I can decide the colour of the paint on my walls and what I´ll cook compromises necessary what so ever...I am not sure whether I would be able to change life again....from a life as a single to a partnership...but I am not alone...I do have great friends...that´s all I need.
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 39
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/22/2009 1:20:13 PM
You could fall down a flight of stairs at 15 and end up dead...heck, I knew someone who slipped on ONE STEP and the way she fell, ended up with a compound fracture of her leg.

If you live alone, there's no one to find you unconcious on the floor or bleeding to death after slipping on the soap and cracking your skull in the bathroom...but even if you don't live alone, who's to say anyone would be home at the time any of this happened?

Doesn't bother me in the least. That's not the reason I want a relationship. And it won't ever be, older or not!
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 40
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The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:11:12 PM
My opinion it is much fearful to live with a wrong person,than living alone. If I live with someone it has to be a good relationship of love and happiness. I don't expect a lover to be my caregiver for sure.
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 43
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/25/2009 4:48:47 PM´s so true ....friends are more important than any relationship....relationships come and go....good friends stay.
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