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 johnzzz
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 1
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the key to being happyPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Okay so I have a friend who I talk to on occasion and every time I talk to him there is always a problem of some sort in his life. He tells me that he is trying to smile and make himself happy with the use off will power he believes if he goes threw the motions of pretending to be happy that at some point happiness will manifest in his psyche sort of the power of positive thinking type thing. I feel his problems, usually a recurring drama should be addressed and that if one is unhappy actually doing things that make yourself happy or are enjoyable is far more effective than just wishing for it or pretending I do not dispute that thinking can alter a state of mind or a mood but I would not think it is the cure all solution so I guess what I am asking is your thoughts on

Positive thinking vs. positive action which is the most effective at achieving a happy state of mind?

I feel action is best though I do not dismiss the idea that thought is essential to the mood a person is in I think it is more of a short term thing. personally when I am in a bad mood I think about jokes performed by my favourite comedians. But my over all state I usually try to manage things in my life so they are not as cataclysmic or detrimental to my overall state of being. What do you think ?
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 2
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the key to being happy
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:15:17 PM

Positive thinking vs. positive action which is the most effective at achieving a happy state of mind?
Both, depending on the circumstances. Where action is possible, generally action can help more. But when action is just not helping, or not possible, or not very productive compared to its efforts, then positive thinking generally helps more.
 Roverdisc1
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 3
the key to being happy
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:18:06 PM
One cannot exist without the other. You have to have both.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4
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the key to being happy
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:57:00 PM
Learn to let go of expectations. In the absence of expectations, all happiness is possible.
 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 5
the key to being happy
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:35:03 PM
I'm just going to mirror what Merrylass just said with a little anectdote.

Today I was at a street light, and I expected to be able to turn left after a couple of cars went by. But instead a couple more cars came out of a parking lot and I had to wait for them to... and it bothered me.

Then the light turned red as another car came out and pushed through the stale yellow... and it REALLY bothered me.

After the fact, I had to think about what was so bad about having to wait for the next green light.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 6
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the key to being happy
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:54:35 PM
sometimes the best way to be happy is to make someone else happy
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 7
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the key to being happy
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:03:40 PM
Positive action and thought are important, but avoiding negative thoughts and actions are just as much so. Why worry yourself over the things you have no power over? Shrug and say "oh well" and get on with your life. Why do things that you know aren't going to help anyone? If that little voice tells you "I shouldn't be doing this" then don't do it rather than be plagued by guilt or self kicking later.
 2hi-iq-4u
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 8
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:47:00 PM
I find that the key is the two secrets of life.

The first is:

Never tell anything at once.
 dalane75
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 9
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:55:21 PM
Suppose happiness ought not be a goal strived for. Suppose that happiness is grounded in something more fundemental, that being love of self and love of life. The question of happiness assumes a more basic principle which is MY life is worth living. I argue that instead of a postive thinking or action debate we should place the emphasis on those things that make MY life worth living. This view incorporates the qualitative and quantitative aspects of undestanding of who we are and ALLOWS us to explore the depths of the situations that forces us to consider between choosing between two goods that have an evil consequence (greek tragedy). In the end it does matter if I was happy, postive, sad, or negative but only that I have lived...and it means I have lived according to those things that I belived enhances my meaning of the value I place in who I am. I suffer so be it. I make my choices and define my values. Happiness thus becomes not something pursued but only a consequence thereof and if not I still choose until my time is done.
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 10
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:41:49 PM
I thought it was a key to the front door of your own house and a key to your own car...good keys to have....ooh...and a turKEY sandwich....
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 11
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:13:28 PM

He tells me that he is trying to smile and make himself happy with the use off will power he believes if he goes threw the motions of pretending to be happy that at some point happiness will manifest in his psyche sort of the power of positive thinking type thing.


It's unlikely that he will succeed. There is an old saying that goes something like this: "Chasing happiness is like a dog chasing it's tail" - the more you desire it, and pursuit it, the faster it gets away from you.

For one, most people don't really know what happiness is, or what really makes them happy.

Two. Most people can't seem to comprehend that, like a patient who must under go a painful procedure in other to become better, one may have to undergo unhappiness in order to become happy. And by that I mean, unhappiness often has its benefits. For one, when a persons is unhappy/miserable he often wonders "Why?". In other words, he reflects/thinks about him self and his problems which in return he learns something about him self, and grow as a person.

Three. Long term happiness is unrealistic... death catches up to all of us... and I don't know many people who are happy to die, or are happy even thinking about dying.

Four. From 3 it follows that happiness and unhappiness are like day and night - they come and go. A person who realizes that does not reject one or seek the other, but merely makes the best of which ever is dominant. To continue the analogy, at night we sleep, and during the day, work... and as that relates to happiness and unhappiness, when one is unhappy one reflects/thinks about oneself, and when one is happy, he does, acts.


I feel his problems, usually a recurring drama should be addressed and that if one is unhappy actually doing things that make yourself happy or are enjoyable is far more effective than just wishing for it or pretending


Suppose, for a second, that unhappiness is a physical mind state which is the result of some hormone imbalance. Only actions that balance the hormone will make a person "happy" or I should say, "Allow them to be happy". If going to a club made one happy, the same action would do nothing for the person, if it doesn't correct the hormone imbalance. Therefore, just "doing things" probably won't help.

I think the same applies to "mental states", not just physical mind states.



Positive thinking vs. positive action which is the most effective at achieving a happy state of mind?


In my opinion, neither. For one, there is no such a thing as a positive action.There is nothing in any action, or a thing, that makes it positive or negative, good or bad, more valuable or less valuable.

Consider: Is drinking a glass of water a positive action or a negative action?

If a person is one glass of water away from drowning, it's seen as a negative action. If he is one glass away from quenching his thirst, it's seen as a positive action. It's the person who attributes "positive" or "negative" to an action or a thing.

Can we say the same about thoughts? I think so. For one, thoughts largely depend on dominant mind state.



What do you think ?


Nothing brings happiness like self honesty. Correctly judging one's own circumstances, mental states, desires, feelings, etc., which is why self honest is so important, allows a person to take the appropriate actions, look at things from the correct perspective, put things into perspective, set proper priorities, and much more.
 dalane75
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 12
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:47:39 PM

In my opinion, neither. For one, there is no such a thing as a positive action.There is nothing in any action, or a thing, that makes it positive or negative, good or bad, more valuable or less valuable.


I think the quote above captures the essence of what many of us forget, namely that it is up to us to define the values in the experiences that occur to our self. Many of the great thinkers argued this such as Nietzsche and even Kant. Happiness will always be elusive if we pursue it and attempt to define it as an end to be achieved or even to assume that there is a formula to achieve it. The very conception of happiness demands that it not be a striving but a state one happens to be be in. There is a reason that 'Happen" and Happiness' share a similar linguistic history.
 JMars
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 13
the key to being happy
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:53:01 PM
I think the key to being happy can be summed up in one word ... perspective.

Most of us have it pretty damn good, but there is a general trend in society to devalue what we do have and yearn for all of the things we don't have.

Must suck.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 14
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the key to being happy
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:48:42 AM
somehow, I don't think money is gonna do it.
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