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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.      Home login  
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 Mike324
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 1
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
A little over 3 months ago, I met a girl at a club. We were going together as just friends and never had a romantic thing going on. We talked a lot on yahoo im, email, and texting and we were doing stuff together like going to the zoo, to dinner, other clubs, etc.. She invited me to go to an Easter dinner on Sunday and meet her family which I went to.

A couple days ago, she sent me email saying she does not want to see me anymore and to not contact her anymore. I tried to ask her why but she is not responding to anymore of my emails. I am still in a lot of shock over this and I lost sleep over the last couple days.

I am really shy and it's very hard for me to meet new people. Any suggestions would be nice.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:02:56 AM
Who knows....maybe someone told her spending so much time with you is leading you on and to stop.

Maybe she met some guy who doesn't appreciate male friends....could be anything...
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 3
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:26:36 AM
OP,
You'll never know for sure what happened. Maybe she found another, maybe she felt she was getting too close...based on the amount of time y'all spent together, that's my bet. Whatever the cause, your BEST recourse is to respect her wishes and quit contacting her. If she ever has a desire to come back, then you can ask. Until then, further contact just serves to push her further away.

Paul ;)
 MarkSLC
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 4
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:27:18 AM
Well it looks like you've tried your best (or what you can), so the best thing now is to just try and move on in some way. It's hopeless wasting your energy on someone who doesn't want you - you're doing yourself no favours. Remove any reminders of her from your life and move on. Difficult but doable.
 rankal
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 5
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:36:50 PM
If she doesn't think you're worth her time, then obviously she isn't worth yours. It's not easy, but you have to get that mind-set if you want to keep yourself sane. People are strange, some more than others. Sorry you're going through this.
 Angellrlc
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 6
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:47:48 PM
Hi. I am sorry that this has happened to you. Some things are out of your control and sometimes we don't get the closure or explanation of what happened and just have to accept that it is what it is and move forward as best as we can. Try to go out and keep yourself busy and stop trying to contact her. That isn't a friend that does that to you without at least an explanation but at this time she chooses not to share with you what changed to make her decide to cut you out of her life. Thats not someone you want to hang around with or call a friend. Friends don't treat friend's that way. Keep your head high and get back out there. Good Luck!!
 Sandy.com
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 7
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 3:22:30 PM
don.t look for a closure from her if she wasn,t adult enough to give you one.
lift that chin up and make your own closure. that,s your power
 pt3450
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 8
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:37:32 PM
Dude I hear you, some women don't know when a good guy is right in front of them. Trust me been there, just stop contact. And if she calls or text's whatever, don't reply. Move on that is the best. Yeah it hurts I know that but once you start moving on you will feel better.
 Ettien
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 9
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:30:07 PM

A little over 3 months ago, I met a girl at a club. We were going together as just friends and never had a romantic thing going on. We talked a lot on yahoo im, email, and texting and we were doing stuff together like going to the zoo, to dinner, other clubs, etc.. She invited me to go to an Easter dinner on Sunday and meet her family which I went to.

A couple days ago, she sent me email saying she does not want to see me anymore and to not contact her anymore. I tried to ask her why but she is not responding to anymore of my emails. I am still in a lot of shock over this and I lost sleep over the last couple days.

I am really shy and it's very hard for me to meet new people. Any suggestions would be nice.



Coulda been something that happened at the family dinner. Did anything peculiar seem to happen that day?

Sorry you're going through this. Ironically enough, I went through an eerily similar situation just quite recently. It was tough, but after I sent her one final letter... I was able to walk away. After that 1st week of NO CONTACT (with her or any mutual friends)... it surprisingly gets easier. Not saying it's a walk in the park COZ IT'S NOT, but you'll survive, believe me.

You just gotta walk away with your head held high. Take care.
 ptalon
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 10
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:52:57 PM
I know how you feel. Similar thing happened to me...dated and talked on the phone for some time, went to Church with her on Easter, to her house for dinner and met her adult children for the first time. A good time was had by all and then the next morning a e-mail announcing there was no chemistry and that she didn't want to see me again and not to phone her. Of course that hurt but I'm quickly going to put that behind me and move on. Thankfully for you and for me is that there wasn't a lot of time wasted. I try and see things for what they truly are. I feel that if someone suddenly wanted to drop me, it wasn't necessary something I did or said, it is probably I no longer serve her purpose or needs. Perhaps we were just a pivital partner bandaging her up from a former bad relationship. Perhaps (as mention earlier here) she felt she was getting to close (game playing) and she felt she was in too deep and in a panic had to eject now. Try to think along those lines for it is almost with certain that is what happened or else "the answer is blowing in the wind". Pull the chin up, remember your self worth and that this experience will make us better shoppers! My 2 female buds tell me woman like that give good woman a bad name but there are players on both sides so keep in mind there are a few good woman out there and we'll get a couple of them too!
Feel better soon - the weekend is here and the weather and the ladies will shine.
Ptalon1
 comfort123
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 11
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 5:56:08 AM
This type of behavior is not surprising. I recall dating a woman for a significant time and one day she tells me she is going to end our relationship in two weeks! No explanation or talking to me like an adult with sensitivity and respect and ending our relationship with dignity. Instead she speaks to me in a condescending manner intimating that our time together did not even warrant a compassionate ending. Obviously I felt hurt by her statement and prior to the two week "deadline" I ended the relationship by walking out and having no further contact with this out-of-touch woman. Although she attempted to make contact I did not respond, not out of vindictiveness but based on my perception that this dame was exhibiting characteristics of a miskeit (a German term meaning a person with an ugly soul).

The bottomline is that when confronted by such persons it is best to move on and cut all contact .
 comfort123
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 12
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 6:38:23 AM
Another extreme example of a lack of compassion and respect in ending relationships comes to mind.

About a year ago I moved to a new town and was invited to a party. The wife of the guy who invited us to the party was engaging in conversation with a group of us and unexpectedly informed us that when she married her husband she did not love him, intimating that she still did not love him! This was stated in the presence of her husband with not one iota of concern, sensitivity or awareness of how this impacted on him or her guests. Subsequently at another neighbors house a month or so latter, she made similar comments.

What this pathetic dame did not understand was that in revealing these intimate sentiments to new neigbors that devalued her husband who whom she had two children, she was actually disrespecting all of us because it was grossly inappropriate for her to publically discuss such flagrant disregard for the man she was living with. Sure enough, about six months latter we heard that she was having affairs with other husbands and another woman in our enclave and that she was divorcing her unfortunate husband.

The lesson to be learned is that when one perceives certain characteristics in a new partner early in the relationship, telltale signs of future problems such as indifference, self-absorption, selfishness, lack of insight, inability to apologize and a tendency to be critical of others including yourself, the biggest favor you can do for yourself is to head towards the nearest exist, hailing a cab and celebrating the breakup of a "relationship" prior to a noxious person breaking your spirit.

As an old adage goes " If anyone is going to destroy my self-esteem, it will be me who does it, not someone else".
 Mike324
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 13
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 11:17:03 AM
Thanks for all the replies. I am feel a little better but I am still a little in shock and grief that I was this hurt by someone who I thought was my friend. My chest is still hurting a little. I used to think that a 'broken heart' was just a figure of speech until now as I have never been hurt this badly by anyone before. I am trying my best to get over it and move on.
 ptalon
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 14
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 4:08:34 PM
Hey Mike....It gets better in leaps and bounds. If you haven't yet, get outside and soak up some sun and get some exercise. Try taking in a little around town action tonight like a good band. Call your buddies and get out some where. When you start feeling a little down again read all the replies to you on this thread and that should be encouraging.
Ptalon1
 schneidera1
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 15
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 8:05:01 PM
move on buddy!
its all you can do! she is probably just moving on
i dont mean this in a mean way it just happened to me once
i spent like 2 weeks sitting by my phone shooting him e mails
just wanting to atleast be friends but what ever was going through his mind
obviously it was not me and i only wasted time
you will find some1 better
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 16
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/18/2009 9:24:11 PM
Everyone's advice is spot on.
Yeah, definitely go out... And a suggestion: Strut about and act like Jack Black in the movie "Shallow Hal". Listen to "It's gonna be a bright sunshiny day" on your ipod. Smile to everyone and wave. Even if people think you're an idiot. You'll never see them again anyway and it's a great morale booster for you. I wave to passing cars sometimes. You not only sometimes cheer the person up but you cheer yourself up.
 ptalon
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 17
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/30/2009 5:40:51 PM
Hey Mike, it's been about 2 weeks since any of us heard from you. Must be things are getting better - eh?
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 18
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 4/30/2009 6:36:17 PM
That was just plain mean of her.
If it did not hurt, I would be worried!
 justbunky
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 19
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 12:07:34 AM
Sounds like she wanted more than friendship to me! Maybe you should put the moves on the next girl before 3 months! Go for it - not the whole shebang, but a kiss is a good start!
 DJ Ashes
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 20
Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 1:25:37 AM
Heh well at least she msged you informing you she didn't want to talk to you anymore. I wasn't so lucky...
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 21
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:17:21 AM
Were you two having sex-? If not, she got bored. It was romantic, which is nice, but she felt, justly so, that she was "missing out" on something.

But I think it was childish of her to not at least acknowledge that in her text.

Be a bit more bold next time and get into a woman more closely...! "Friends" was clearly not enough for her.
 ptalon
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 22
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 11:40:10 AM
Well, being men as the women say, you know not so smart, we need to be told her intentions and needs & wants. Really, we are not mind readers -we don't think women are too.
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 23
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 2:31:54 PM
That's not a friend , Mike...sorry to say.

She met someone who she has decided to give all her time to
and just scooted you out of the way.

So....on the bright side...you have learned something valuable about what friendship is....and what it isn't.

Kimbo**************************
 Mike324
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 24
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:49:20 PM
I was gonna let this issue go but since this thread was bumped again, I'll go ahead and reply. On April 25th (last Saturday) I saw her at the club... the same one we originally met at. She was there with a couple of her girlfriends. She wasn't talking to me then. When I got home, I sent her an email. This time I got a reply. She said she wasn't happy that I wasn't very open with her family on Easter. I tend to be really shy around people whom I dont know but I'm more outgoing once I get to know them. I dont understand why she treated me this way and didn't talk to me from the start.

-Mike-
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 25
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Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Posted: 5/1/2009 4:31:32 PM
Still kind of a harsh reaction on her part, Mike.
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