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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many first dates don't lead anywhere?      Home login  
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 RicardoKlement
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 1
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
....ie, how many first dates never lead to a 2nd date, a one night stand, another phone call or e-mail, etc.? I am just wondering, because I am 30 and have never been out on a date, so I want to know what to expect...are first dates just a waste of time?
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 2
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:49:01 PM
You have to start somewhere, so no first dates are not a waste of time. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 3
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:26:19 PM
Most of my first dates have lead nowhere, but some have lead somewhere, even marriage.

You have to take that first step out there in the great beyond in most things, including dating. What's that old saying? 'Fear is the thief of dreams'.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 4
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2009 7:22:44 AM
I think most first dates don't lead to LTRs. Especially on dating sites.


<div class="quote">This is why you should meet for a fifteen minute coffee

I think this is a key reason why many first dates / meets don't go anywhere. I often can't tell if I'm interested in a woman or not after just 15 minutes. It seems like many people want instant chemistry or they quickly lose interest.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 5
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2009 9:42:57 AM
Quite a few...if you don't feel any spark or chemistry, why continue to date? I don't believe in wasting a man's time nor his money.
 CourtandSparkler
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 6
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2009 12:35:43 PM
About 20,000,,,,,,but nothing ventured,nothing gained as they say.
 CourtandSparkler
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 7
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2009 2:02:43 PM
It's not easy. You have to be intellectually on the same wavelength with that person and the chemistry is either there or it's not.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 8
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2009 5:08:51 PM
wow the computer generation at work; first of all, get off your computer, stop worrying about warcraft or your favorite game or software, and get out there and live.

I mean are you foolish to think there are exact number of dates that lead to something.

Everyone is different and everyone has different experiences. Classic computer/internet person that if they can't have a for sure socially, they just hide behind a computer screen. Get out there and live. Deal with rejection, disappointment, and success like the rest of the real world.
 bulls eye annie
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 9
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:47:38 AM
Well, I've had five 'first dates' total over a 10 month period. Some I do stay in touch with to share old and new news, and swap stories. So, the first date, 'has led somewhere,' because I gained a new friend. Keep in mind that chatting on-line is 'the first date,' without all the drama, expense, or energy. So keep it real!

Who likes feeling stupid? I'm not disabled, living with a parent, wasting away, sloppy FAT, irresponsible, or "looking for greener pastures," a party girl, or wanting a 'chemistry' foundation.

Just this morning someone from Bowling Green IM'ed me who travels to Africa. Guys this is a REAL PROBLEM and why it's important to chat first. Talk to me on the phone; otherwise, you are married, involved, or lying/hiding. Also, post a recent photo, be factual, and upbeat.

I know there are women who are superficial, gold diggers, cyber whores (no offense intended), but I am not one of 'em. That you can bet on!!!!

Bluegrass and Horsechit state signing off........
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 10
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/19/2009 7:27:23 PM
i don't know what the actual numbers are but i would guess only about 10% or so lead to 2nd dates. so, you either give it the old college try...or become a monk. get acquainted to your right hand, homie (or your left, if you're freaky!).
 RicardoKlement
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 11
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:57:17 AM
...I'm 31 and I've never been kissed.


yeah right. Why do people lie on POF?
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 12
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:25:56 AM
I can only talk on a personal level but I would say for every 5 dates you go on about 2 may lead to another date. As to how many lead into a relationship it's hard to say.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 13
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/21/2009 3:29:58 PM
One out of two, then I can't get rid of them. Well ,eventually they go away.


 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 14
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:43:34 PM

are first dates just a waste of time?

I wouldn't think so. There are also *late bloomers* to consider and these kind of people - I'm one of them - need more time to spend in each other company to see if there are further potentials. Nothing substantial happens overnight
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:28:26 AM
After reading through many many of these post, it's so amazing what a defeatist attitude the majority of the people have here.
YOu are all losers because you chose to THINK like losers. Because you set the paradigms for failure instead of success.

It is like the ball player that goes into a batting cage where this machine throws at him 95 mile-an-hour balls, he strikes 97 times, hits ten balls really bad, but connect on the sweet spot three. But because he failed those many times, he things he sucks and is a failure.
This is the same logic that you all have.

First of all, you are looking for ONE person. The needle in the haystack, do you think you are going to find it right away. NO. That is a fact. What happens when you find the needle and it just doesn't fit, what happens when you realize you need to move to another haystack?

You all see the first date as the event that will begin your new life, with this new person, so it doesn't happen, so you think failure. Change that paradigm and hope not to meet mister perfect of the right woman, but as a chance to meet A PERSON. In the process, you will get batting practice into how to communicate with such person. You will get the chance to talk with a person of that walk of life, profession. If he/she is better looking than you, well you will test your reaction to such person. Does it intimidate you, do you intimidate. Think of it as batting practice. Then when you go out with the next person, you can make a comparison. It this person better than the one before? Do I care? Do they care? Can you tell a player right away? If you are a guy, have you tested stuff on how to read the signals that women give. If you are a woman, can you test if he is going too fast, just wants sex, a relationship, is he a whimp, a wooosh, a mama's boy, someone you want to fvck his brains out even if he dumps you. All the possibilities are there.


First dates are nothing but learning experiences. At best you are smelling the other person and absorbing information. Information that you cannot process while the date is in progress, but afterwards when you are by yourself and think about the other person an the moment of truth takes place, and you say to your self...."Fvck no, I don't want to see that person again." Or "There was something there so let's see where it goes." Or the all damaging since you become blind "Oh, I have to see him/her again."
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 16
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:48:54 PM
Depends on where you want them to go. I have never met anyone that I did not think we would have a wonderful evening continuing the conversation we had started. I've never had a bad date. True, many did not go on to a second date, or fizzled out after a few - either because I wasn't that interested in him, or he wasn't that interested in me. (Sometimes it feels impossible to have both of you feel the same interest, lol.) But gosh, it was always an interesting date.

I figure if you click with conversation, even if the romantic interest isn't there, at the very least you'll have had an interesting evening getting to know someone. And there's always that possibility of it developing the legs to become more.

Every journey begins with the first step.

(As for online: met my sweetie here on POF; our duologue is even more compelling almost two years later).
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 17
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 5/22/2009 6:46:22 AM
Maybe ya'll are getting your feet all tangled up just with the terminology? I don't date. Never have. . . . I meet people. If the meeting goes well, we'll continue to meet, spend time, talk, do things together. Of six face to faces from PoF, only two went absolutely nowhere. The others are friends, including the one who is my *best* friend, and with whom I hope to be spending the rest of my life. Those six were culled from email correspondence initiated mostly by them, but occasionally by me. For me, pretty serious emailing needs to take place before face to face (partly because my location is fairly isolated, so meeting anyone is both expensive and time consuming).

Wishin' everbody much good luck and good attitudes, lol!
 lancewallach
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 18
How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 5/22/2009 7:06:17 AM
Pick correctly and it leads to marriage.
 Sheldon86
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 19
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How many first dates don't lead anywhere?
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:40:31 PM
First dates are essentially testing the waters getting a feel for the person many have said that the first date is an interview and I believe this to be true but as for a lot leading to nothing it all depends on how you present yourself. As bad as it may sound the first date is about selling yourself if the other person isn't interested then all you can do but it's your job to catch their interest.
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