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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 1
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I received a phone call yesterday from a dear friend of mine who told me that she had just been stood up by her date. From what I gather, it's a fairly common occurrence. I have a really excellent way for anyone who is stood up to turn the tables, save face and really screw with the idiot who was rude enough to do this to them.



First of all you need to realize one thing. In the day of cell phones, unless someone is car jacked, kidnapped or dead, there is no excuse for them to stand you up. There are few things that feel worse then waiting to be picked up for a date and not have that person show up. There are also few things more rude to do to someone.



The first rule is this: DO NOT CALL THEM. If your plans are definitive, then the person knows quite well where/when to meet you or pick you up. The exception to this is, of course, amnesia but in that case you don't want to date them anyway. The next thing you need to realize is that if you are being stood up, they don't want to meet you. It's that simple. If they wanted to meet you, they would have shown up. Once you realize these things it's time to have some fun.



The next day you need to call them. Make sure not to block your number since you want them to know that it's you. Chances are that they won't answer so you will have the opportunity to leave them a message. If they do answer you can pretty much do the same thing. You need to apologize for standing THEM up. Tell them that you are really sorry for not being there and make up the most lame possible excuse. I recommend something like you were shopping a shoe sale at Nordstrom and lost track of the time or say you forgot that you had an appointment to take your dog to the groomer. Something along those lines but it has to be really idiotic and trivial. In this way you make them feel like you have the upper hand and all of the lousy feelings you had about being stood up are transferred to them.



Now sometimes if you are really lucky this is where the fun begins. Since they now feel like it was you who dissed them, they might actually ask to reschedule. The fact that you dismissed them so easily makes you all the more desirable, especially to a moron like this. If they ask for another chance you have to be more then willing to say YES. Apologize once more for not showing up and make a definite date to get together again. If possible, try to make a date where they have to wear something fancy or make special arrangements like finding a babysitter. This time, of course, you stand them up for real and make them feel really lousy once again.



Now I know what many of you are going to say. This is a game and the subject is serious. You want the person to know how bad they made you feel. Well, my friends, I am here to tell you that someone who is callous enough to stand you up really doesn't care about your feelings, nor do they care about you. I recommend trying this if you are ever so unfortunate. Just please remember to email me and let me know how it went. I would love to hear from you.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 2
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:45:44 PM
'course there are always the exceptions. From my 'first date' on my profile:

My ideal first date is to try something new: stand the guy up and leave him cooling his heels in a torrential downpour cursing the insincerity of on-line dating. Well, I assume he cursed the vagaries and uncertainty of on-line dating because what he actually expressed to me was genuine concern that I was sick. You never know what will work until you try something new.


I had - foolishly - sent him an email as I was leaving work to go home sick. Boy am I glad he believes in 2nd chances. (I think he likely is glad as well.)

Sometimes great things can grow from rough beginnings.
 dannyr0697
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 3
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:36:33 PM
Oh but all you other posters are completely NOT getting the beauty of this thread. The OP isn't asking for your advice, he's giving you a "How to" guide for dealing with the type of inconsiderate a-hole who would stand someone up in the first place.
POETIC JUSTICE!!!!! I love it! Especially if they did fall for it and rescheduled the date. It would be cool to video tape them sitting, standing, fijgiting, or whatever they are doing while being stood up.
Too cool.LMAO
Which is what I'd be doing watching it happen.


L8TR
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 4
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:45:00 PM
I'd never do that. I don't play games...but if a man stood me up, I'd not reschedule.
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:34:57 PM
Seriously, if I was stood up I would just move on. I'd figure the person wasn't either ready to be dating or not the right one for me. I see no reason to be juvenile and get revenge. I would be spending my efforts to find someone more interested.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 6
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:49:10 PM
And... give me one good reason (other than assuaging my ego) why I would want to waste all that energy on a some tool I've never met? ..................:bye


....................... .............................. .............................. .......................... :

POETIC JUSTICE!!!!!
Poetic justice is not set up by someone seeking revenge. Poetic Justice happens naturally to a person who has purposely done harm .. Usually by something similar being done to them by someone else in the "tool's" future .. Some call it "Karma." ..
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 7
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:03:01 PM
I got stood up once. What did I do? Once I realized he wasn't going to show up, I went home and went to bed. Didn't give him or the fact he stood me up another thought. I had only known him a couple of weeks, so it didn't seem like a big deal.

It didn't make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad because of another person's ignorance?
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 8
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:12:17 AM
Exactly right, Danny. Thank you.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 9
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:36:30 AM
Thank you all for your kind replies. However, I feel that most of you are missing the point. I am not recommending you try this. It is simply a way to get back at someone for being rude and to teach them a lesson. Is it worth the effort?? That would be up to you and the amount of time you needlessly invested in this person prior to actually being stood up and how badly you feel about it. People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson. Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 10
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:43:38 AM
Op is giving people pointers on how to be passive aggressive. When all you need to do, is know the person your planning to date a bit better before you agree to go out with them.
This vindictive behavior, getting even, setting up scenarios, sickens me. Anyone who does this needs to rethink the dating, they cant handle it. Why would any sane person spend all the time and energy still conversing with someone they have no intention of actually seeing, setting up fake meetings, just so they will be the one to not show up this time? Only an a**hole or a true biotch would go to that extreme. Your just adding more negative energy to an already bad situation, when the easiest thing would be to "just do nothing".
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 11
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:53:10 AM
Op's post #26: I am not recommending you try this.

What???? I say bulls****. You really are passive aggressive, if you think you can change in the middle, after recommending step by step directions. We can all go back and reread your original post. We're not stupid. Few agreed with you, thought is was petty and immature. Now your changing your tune.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 12
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:57:35 AM
I am passive aggressive when you have now taken your time to reply with two extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced replies. I think you're the one who needs to sit back, have a drink and take a Midol. And yeah, it's a discussion board. I can change or clarify anything that I want the same as you have the right to get all worked up over absolutely nothing. Oh, and your refers to possession, you're means you are.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 13
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:43:38 AM

Why stop there, OP? If you really want to show how you feel, why not throw a brick through the person's window?
Whitty Sarcasm doesn't always come off well in the written word.. but you're doing a fine job lol <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>


Thank you all for your kind replies. However, I feel that most of you are missing the point. I am not recommending you try this. It is simply a way to get back at someone for being rude and to teach them a lesson. Is it worth the effort?? That would be up to you and the amount of time you needlessly invested in this person prior to actually being stood up and how badly you feel about it. People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson. Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.
I being someone who agrees with the theory that "two wrongs don't make a right" .. disagree with your view on the subject...

People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson.
If you believe in "Poetic Justice" then you'll be confident in knowing that some other azzhole will teach the stander-upper a lesson without having to bring negative energy (karma) onto yourself. JMO.

People have different ways of dealing with various issues
Yes, Indeed!
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 14
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:41:14 PM
I had corresponded with a very nice on here for months (maybe 6) and we had decided to meet. We were sure that we adored one another, had so much in common, hit it off from the start..it was a whirl wind romance. We made plans to meet...and he didn't show up. He called me later and explained that he got nervous and apologized. I was upset but forgave it. So we made plans for another time, and guess what…again NO SHOW...Ahhh! So this time I'm ready to write him off when he sucks me in again with another good apology, this guy should write for Hallmark they were well worded and eloquent...so we make yet another "date". I'm ready for this one incase he doesn't call I have back up plans. But he showed and we were on again off again due to his erratic behavior for about 2 years lol. Then I said no more…why so long...the Hallmark words I'm a sucker I guess.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:12:50 PM
So let me get this straight. You are giving advice to the one DOING the Stooding up. Right?
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 16
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:56:59 PM
Track him down.
Break his legs.
Threaten his family.



Nah, I would go to my favorite club and have a great time, or just return home, put on my flannel pj's and cushy socks, rent a PPV movie, and have a glass of wine.

Life is good, life is great, not enough time to hate.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 17
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:24:11 PM
Op, we will let you be the proofreader, that way you wont feel so resentful. I didnt realize I was back in college writing a term paper.
Thanks for your concern, but I do not need a Midol. Do you? Sorry I cant offer you one. I could use a couple of Tylenol, seems I have a pain in my A**.
It is a discussion board. Everyone gets to put in their own 2 cents, whether they agree with you or not. Thank God, most do not.
"extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced" You took offense to the words I used, "ass****, biotch, bull****." You thought my post was offensive. Maybe you should go and play in the kiddie pool, you like playing games so much. How will I ever get any sleep tonight, with you having such a low opinion of me? I think you and your attitude are offensive. I dont care what you say, setting someone up like you have laid out, is a "nasty", " vicious", ( if I may use your {now, that IS a possessive pronoun} words) thing to do.
Go back into your cave and do not come out, until you have learned, "dont treat people like that". You are a bully. I've ( see the apostrophe?) never done anything in my life to hurt anyone, my whole life has been spent helping people. I have given 1000 times more than I will ever get back.

Next thing you know, you will (you'll) be on here, crying how some woman set you up like this. What goes around, comes around.
You can go on and drink that glass of wine, and take the Midol now. I am finished dealing with Passive aggressive bullies.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 18
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:30:32 PM
I am passive aggressive when you have now taken your time to reply with two extremely vicious, nasty and profanity laced replies that was your post OP.
There was nothing passive aggressive about my comments. In fact, they were assertive, I didnt go behind your back, playing games, trying to manipulate you. I just didnt agree with you. Is that your problem?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 19
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Posted: 4/22/2009 12:09:47 AM
Op's post #1 I recommend trying this if you are ever so unfortunate.


Op's post # 26 Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.

Op's post # 32 I can change or clarify anything that I want

Gateway computer with scanner and HP printer: $1200.
Monthly internet access: $24.95.
Puttin a**holes in their place: PRICELESS

OP, OP, wherefore art thou, OP???
If your going to play in the big pond, you need to learn how to swim. Sometimes, it is just too easy. Getting to where I can spot them a mile away. All the way to Jersey.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 20
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:19:44 AM
toyoux: emails, phone calls are a good way to get to know someone. I hate to hear someone has been stood up, and know they have let it effect them, hurt them, or even put an emotional scar on them.
In these forums, people are meeting others after one chat, saying why waste time? Like going on dozens of blind dates. Peoples egos get in the way, they become fearful they wont measure up. But if they know you better, they arent as likely to be a no call no show. I like to know if our interests are similar. I never liked the idea of dating a stranger. I like all the cards on the table, his and mine. They arent going to be afraid to meet me. Nor I, them. I make sure they know, I tend to procrastinate, I have cats, I smoke, etc. I'm not desparate to have a man in my life, or to even go out on a date. All that effort and time and energy getting ready, my time is valuable to me and I wont waste it on every guy that asks me out. So my attitude, right or wrong, is tell me about you, then I will decide if I want to date you.

Those people that meet after one talk, are the ones complaining about being stood up, the quality of the person,(ie: rudeness, bad character) or the expense of the date. Then there are the players on here. They are lying about their entire profile, sent pics that wasnt them, the married ones, the ones with low self esteem. Ive learned how to decode the messages I get. Can spot the player by his words, how he phrases his words. His tone, vocabulary. Its great if he posts in the forums. This thread is a prime example. Look at how the OP's attitude has come through, in just a few sentences.

I Have been stood up, once. It wasnt a first date, it was the 3rd. We were meeting for dinner, I waited in my car, in the parking lot, so it wasnt a major public humiliation. He said his brother was sent to a hospital, not local, and his cell phone went dead and he couldnt call me. But I'm thinking pay phones are all over hospitals. I interpreted it as rude behavior.

I have, a couple times, chickened out of a date. I didnt stand them up. I just let them know, it was too soon for me, and I wasnt comfortable with it. They were OK with it, and we talked longer. You know what? The guys I do go out with, respect that I dont go out with everyone that ask, respect that I am selective, That I actually try to know them.
 cwisme
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 21
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Posted: 3/2/2013 1:43:56 PM
Sure, poke the dragon, that always turns out well. Why on earth you'd ever even think of anatagonizing someone who's already exhibited a total lack of sincerity and common courtesy is way beyond me. If you get stood up, acknowledge and move on. Simple.
 ivegotitgoingon
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 22
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:55:15 AM
I don't think lying and playing further games is a good way to resolve this issue.
Everyone is different and each person put in this type of situation will feel/react differently.

I think the best thing to do if stood up would be to not have any further contact with that person and move on.
I wouldn't stoop to their level and attempt to hurt them in return.

Let Karma take care of the revenge portion. She is a bigger **** anyways.
 ironwinecoffee
Joined: 9/4/2012
Msg: 23
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/3/2013 12:07:19 PM
I always bring my e-reader to a coffee meet. If they do not show I have a coffee and enjoy my book for a while. I do not really care why I got stood up because it would be courtesy to text the other person with a viable excuse rather than not showing. Once the person does not show, I pretty much forget about them.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 24
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:50:18 PM
It happens all the time today for some reason, it's like people just don't care about other people's time anymore. It's not hard to just say "I changed my mind".

But one of the times it happened to me, I ended up calling my friend to go get a few drinks.... And guess who cluelessly sat right next to me at the bar with her date. And then tried to apologize the next day cuz her grandmother was sick. Even better was the picture she put of facebook of the two of them, with me right behind them looking at the tv.

I didn't say anything, and just tagged myself in the facebook pic
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 25
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:18:08 PM
If I was stood up, I would sit down.
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