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Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 1
Bi-SexualsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
it wouldnt let me post this in the ask a girl section.
but with my past experiences a bi girl doesnt know what she wants. one minute shes dating me than the next shes off with some guy.

so my question is this.
if you know the person your with is bi sexual, is it ok for her to be with you and someone else of the opposite sex? to me it isnt ok. but just because shes bi doesnt mean she has to have both, right?

if this makes any sense, does anyone else look at this how i do?
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 2
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:19:39 AM
Wait. In the first paragraph, you say that "one minute shes dating me than the next shes off with some guy", which to me, implies she dumped you for the guy, right? But then, you ask if its ok if the girl has both a gf AND a bf? Which is it?
If its the latter, then she's cheating on you, nothing tricky about that. No one- not even gays and bisexuals- should have more than 1 partner unless its been approved of, obviously (i.e. polyamorous etc). But in most monogamous relationships (notice I say MONOgamous) there's only 2 people in a relationship, not 3 or 4 or however many that girl wants lol. She should make her decision and choose who she wants to be with...
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 3
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:34:13 AM
Bi-sexuals can be in monogamous relationships too. (I know quite a few) Many of them though choose not to be, or excuse their lack of honesty and commitment with their sexuality.
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 4
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:35:41 AM
The answer is simple,, Let her have a normal life with a man and find yourself someone else to have as a sexual play toy.

She is only being a bi-sexual because some lesbo's told her it's cool and the in thing.
She is finding out it's not what she wants.
She wants a Man, Not a woe man.
Let her be and live your own life.. !
I'm sure you know some other stupid gals that you can manipulate into going to bed with you.

Why don't you get a man for yourself and leave other girls alone?

Bushy Boy,,, I personaly know Lesbians and Bi-sexuals.
I also know some gals that have been manipulated into thinking being a lesbo is cool only to decide it's not cool.
I had two young bi-sexuals living with me..
Now after living with me, neither of them are lesbos. They appreciate being a woman and truley enjoy being with a man.
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5
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Posted: 4/21/2009 5:59:19 AM
Some men have such weak egos that their masculinity is threatened by the mere existence of lesbians.
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 6
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Posted: 4/21/2009 6:33:07 AM
My girlfriend is bi-sexual,and she can be with another woman if she likes. She doesn't normally;we have the occasional 3-some when she's in the mood for a woman. Personally I don't consider same sex as cheating.
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 7
Posted: 4/21/2009 6:44:12 AM
If you are wanting a monogomous type relationship, no, it is not okay if she "goes out" with guys ... or other girls.

It comes down to what you can accept in the relationship ....
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 8
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Posted: 4/21/2009 8:32:35 AM
A bi wanting to go out and have sex with the gender you aren't is not different than me being in a relationship w/a man and seeing a hot guy across the strete and wanted to go bang him... It's cheating, period.

The only difference is with someone bi, their "pool" of eligible partners is larger. That doesn't give them permission to swim in that pool.

Unless of course the relationship is not exclusive...but then again teh same could be said of a hetero relationship...

Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 9
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Posted: 4/21/2009 9:02:14 AM
Misunderstandings happen when the boundaries aren't clear. I was once in an "exclusive relationship" with a "bi-curious" female, who, as it turned out, thought "exclusive" applied only to me, not to her and her "gurl friends."

That's consistent with my observations of bisexual/lesbian/gay relationships; from what I've seen, "exclusive" relationships don't last long.
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 10
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:08:02 AM
if you are in a committed relationship, and you have relations with another, then you are cheating! Period. The gender of the person with whom you are cheating, isn't important, you are still cheating.

Of course, if you have the permission of the other person you are in the relationship, that voids my former statement. But then you are not cheating. Cheating implies dishonesty on some level.

Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 11
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:09:41 AM
I would think this subject should be discussed between you and your "partner" and both agree to the rules and play by them or find another. I think it's an individual thing but main thing is you both need to be on same page and everything up front.
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 12
Posted: 4/21/2009 11:24:40 AM
OP - it sounds to me like you just got shafted is all. Not every bi person is like this.... I agree with a couple of the posts on here that cheating is cheating is cheating, regardless of the gender. I know bi people who can be in a committed relationship without feeling a need to experience the other side of that fence while in said relationship. Sounds to me like the one you dated just wasnt' sure what they wanted or wanted their cake and eat it too! Life just doesn't work that way.....
 Got Trance
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 13
Posted: 4/21/2009 11:34:19 AM
Would you define in your words what being bi-sexual is.
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 14
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:12:25 PM
In my opinion and experience, if you're looking for a monogamous relationship with a bi sexual person, you're playing with fire and could get burned.
 Street King
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 15
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:21:52 PM
If you want a serious relationship get with a heterosexual man. Women are fickle whether they claim to bi or lesbian. Because bi sexuals bluntly like both sexes so you can never really trust whether they're with a man one day or another women the next. Lesbians are better at suppressing their desire for men but they sleep with men also they just keep on the DL. So, basically Lesbians are closet heterosexual. A straight man you know won't cheat on you with another man and will only have eyes for his woman which would be you.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Posted: 4/25/2009 10:38:28 PM
Being bi-sexual doesn't have a thing to do with being exclusive and not cheating. What's bi-sexuality have to do with it??? I am straight, according to what you posted that would mean that I couldn't be faithful to a man because there are other men out there to tempt me. A person cheats or they don't, their sexual orientation hasn't a damn thing to do with it.
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 17
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Posted: 4/25/2009 11:51:53 PM
Now after living with me, neither of them are lesbos.

Dayum, you're so good you're converting lesbians. Are you sure you didn't actually read that scenario in those fake Penthouse letters written in the 80s?

It is quite laughable that you or anyone else would override someone's natural sexual inclination. Thanks for the laugh.

Seriously, your attitude is a demeaning affront to gays and lesbians.
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 18
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:34:10 AM
Now after living with me, neither of them are lesbos.]

quite an ego- doncha think??
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 19
Posted: 4/26/2009 12:51:53 PM
Umm , im a bisexual and have been with my bf going on two years & have not once been with another girl.

I think its fine to have fun together with another girl , but i dont have any desires to go off and have fun with a girl on my own
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 20
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:48:51 PM

but just because shes bi doesnt mean she has to have both, right?

No, being bisexual means that you *like* both sexes, not that you *have* to have both at the same time to be happy.

So many people say they're bisexual when really they're more bicurious and are trying to figure out what they really like. Also, being bisexual can mean a whole host of things. I think of bisexuality as a continuum. There are those who are strictly bisexual in the bedroom - they are enjoy having sex with the same sex, but emotionally they gravitate to one sex or the other. There are bisexual people who are mostly straight or mostly gay, but ok with either and it may depend largely on their partner's preferences. There are people whom I really consider more pansexual, who are simply attracted to people and it doesn't matter their sex in way, shape or form.

As for fidelity, that is an entirely separate issue that has nothing to do with their sexuality.

Basically you have some things you need to ask your bisexual partners what bisexual means for them and how they think it will impact your relationship. Also, you need to be clear about your expectations go as far as monogamy is concerned though this is something you should discuss with every partner, not just your bisexual ones.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 21
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Posted: 4/26/2009 7:40:34 PM
With all due respect OP you wanted to post this in Ask A Girl instead of Sex & Dating because?...

People are people, whatever our persuasions we all have the capacity to exhibit character worthy of association. Because one woman leaves another for a man has no bearing on what the next woman in your life will or will not do. Of course you're actions and atittude have a whole lot to do with how everyone in your life perceives you.

OP, be you, just remember everyone else can only do their best at doing the same thing.

Good luck to you OP.
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 22
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Posted: 4/27/2009 1:44:21 AM
I once dated a bi-sexual girl so I have some experience with bi-sexuals.

Just because a person is bi-sexual doesn't mean that they can't be in a monogamous relationship. It's just that some of them believe that they can date a guy and a girl at the same time, my ex-girlfriend believed this. She also believed that it was ok to have sex with a girl while she was dating me.

And, no, it's not ok for a bi-sexual to be in a relationship with both a guy and a girl.

Your girl thinks that she has the right to be in 2 relationships at the same time which is wrong.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 23
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- s
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:49:26 AM
My ex wife, was , she was open honest, and faithful, really a wonderful person,
the only reason we broke up was she really wanted to have a child, also, I met her in Montreal, when I lived there, she took 3 years of windsor, and really could not take it any more... she moved to Toronto,I guess looking back... I am sorry I did not go with her...
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 24
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:13:27 AM

And, no, it's not ok for a bi-sexual to be in a relationship with both a guy and a girl.

UNLESS, "BOTH" the guy and the girl are OK with it..which seems unlikely?

I think you likely mean it's not OK to sneak around behind the back of one of the parties to 'do it' with another?
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 25
Posted: 7/28/2011 6:19:28 PM

She is only being a bi-sexual because some lesbo's told her it's cool and the in thing.
She is finding out it's not what she wants.
She wants a Man, Not a woe man.
Let her be and live your own life.. !
I'm sure you know some other stupid gals that you can manipulate into going to bed with you.

Some colleges even have an acronym for it. They call them LUGS. Lesbians Until Graduation. They experiment through college without fear of pregnancy, then go off and get married (to a man) after they graduate.
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