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Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 1
Herpes Article in Chicago's Sun-Times Page 1 of 1    
Dating made difficult by herpes: When to tell?


Potential partner needs to know, infected man says, but things could change in a hurry.

April 21, 2009


The amount of herpes in the population is staggering. Estimates vary from 20 percent to 25 percent of the adult population, with a million new cases a year. And more than 50 percent of the sufferers don't know they have it. It can be spread even when there are no obvious signs of infection, and it can't be cured.

So what do you do when you have herpes and you want to date? When do you tell? How do you tell? Those are the questions I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE AN STD wanted answered.

Today we hear from Tom:

"Having herpes makes dating much more complicated. If you are an honest person, you have two choices when it comes to finding a mate.

1. If you meet a girl who doesn't have herpes, you date her until you're sure she's interested in you, and then you tell her before you have intercourse.

"Take it from me, that's a painful, painful conversation. It's called 'The Talk' among my herpes-infected brethren, and you hear about all kinds of reactions, from no problem to big problem.

I don't suggest you tell them while you are ripping each other's clothes off. This is a discussion to have when we're both sober and clothed. The girls I told stayed with me, but they weren't that happy. And it's a crushing blow to your self-esteem if the response is anything other than, 'It's OK.' Which it rarely is. The longer you wait, the better.

"The truth is, you're in competition with men who don't have it, don't know they have it or know they have it and don't tell.

2. "Your second option is to find someone with herpes. When I got it 20 years ago, that wasn't so easy. In fact, it was impossible. But now with the Internet, it's easier. There is a site called (Meet People With Herpes). As a 20- year vet, I know of every site for singles with herpes, and this is the best one. I've met some girls on the site. It's not any easier than finding a good match at eHarmony or, but you know from the start you won't have to have 'The Talk.'

"Herpes is so rarely discussed. I was in a bar last night, and many of us were reading your column, holding it close to us because it had herpes in the headline. But we made sure nobody caught on to what we were focused in on.

"Of course, all this only applies if you're honest. If you're not, you can be intimate with a woman and, if she gets it, deny you have it. It's hard to pin it on someone as the culprit.

"Doctors say things like, one in five test positive for the herpes virus. People can have it and not know it. There's not always an initial outbreak, so you could have had it for a long time and this is just your first outbreak.

"There are certainly ways to get out of being blamed. You can always say, 'You must have had it already,' or, 'I don't have it, and if I do, I didn't know it.'

"Women who have contracted herpes from their boyfriends have heard all these excuses. Then they have some denial. They want to believe the guy because now they think this is the one guy who will stay with them.

"But eventually they realize it was probably him, and that mistrust will be the cause, subliminally or not, of all kinds of problems in the relationship until it ends."

Have you had "the talk" and if so, how did it go?
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 2
Herpes Article in Chicago's Sun-Times
Posted: 3/12/2012 10:37:58 AM
Herpes is manageable and even curable.
I don't have the virus as far as I know but I do know people who do have HS1 and or 2.
Search google for MMS and DMSO for the protocols for removing herpes virus for cheap and easy.
I forget all the websites that are health orientated that share this info. Earth Clinic maybe?

Alkalinity or PH is key to removing virus and many other "hard to cure" diseases.

No Bull.
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 3
Herpes Article in Chicago's Sun-Times
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:01:30 PM

Herpes is manageable and even curable.

Manageable yes, cure, ha ha ha. Sorry but I am very tired of people who do not know and do not have it.

From the CDC: 19 Sep 2012 – There is no treatment that can cure herpes. Antiviral medications can, however, prevent or shorten outbreaks during the period of time the ...

Never had the talk but would like to address about the:
Estimates vary from 20 percent to 25 percent of the adult population, with a million new cases a year.

Years ago I heard the late Dr Stephen L Sacks ( a well known expert) on a local radio show talking about herpes. What he said when asked how the infection rate was, stuck in my mind. "It's epidemic".
By the way this "20 - 25%" has been around forever as far as I can remember! It was used in 89 when I got it. I find it hard to believe that this is all still current. In terms of statistics we are living in the past!
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