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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How proud and how private is too much?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 5
How proud and how private is too much?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i think you are too snooty for my taste; the guy bought tissue and you were annoyed? little too anal for my liking.

If I told someone to respect my privacy and call before he came and he didn't, he would get an earfull from me. I dont want someone who doesn't respect me.

I also am not going to parade around like its the Pimp and Ho Ball in NYC either;

Get some friggin curtains; contrary to what you think, it's also not all about you; maybe those that occasionally walk by dont want to see you in all your glory either.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/25/2009 2:46:26 PM
I believe that you should have your privacy as you want it. It's your home and you need to feel comfortable there.

For this reason I don't really let people know where I live or work for a while, especially when dating someone - so I can find out if they are the drop in type and if so, address it before it becomes my problem. I have explained this to people in the past, and even then you'll get a guy who calls you as their turning onto your street - you feel bad telling them to turn around but they sort of ask for it in that situation.

And I don't even think if you were in a serious relationship that it would make a difference; if you do not live with him, and did not directly invite him to drop in whenever he feels like it or give him a key, then he needs to call or warn first before dropping in and respect your personal space.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:08:50 PM
The weird thing is that he purchased both paper products at the same time and chose to make two separate deliveries. Both unannounced.

What? Now that's even stranger - obviously it was a reason to come back a second time...most people would say hey I'll keep them in my trunk and you can grab em next time we hang out - or let me know if you want to stop by and I'll be sure to be home to give it to you...the dude has boundary issues, especially if you made it a point to let him know what you were comfortable with.

I wouldn't be surprised if he used it as an excuse to scope the driveway for extra cars....you don't have to be having company for someone to need to let you know they're coming, chances are he assumed someone else was hanging around and decided to spy (of course the point being that it doesn't matter if someone was there - it's not his concern anyway).
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 13
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/25/2009 10:14:52 PM
get a restraining order...and a costco membership for god's sakes!
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 14
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:52:30 AM
Gawwwwwwwwwwwd... I just cant cope with the levels of paranoia today!! Truly OP... if Im seeing someone then its a RELATIONSHIP... If he wants to drop off groceries .. Im gonna be flattered!! I cannot get over how uptight and humourless people seem to be here... just relax ffs!! People need to stop being so insular and up themselves... male and female! Enjoy the attention and the pampering for what it is... A kind gesture. Yeahhh I know Im going to get blasted for my views but I can cope. My SO would do that kind of thing and hell.. I love him for his thoughtfulness. Arrghhhhh... truly folks... loosen up... most people are good, honest and kind!!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 16
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/26/2009 10:39:47 AM
Mthomjmark - Always can count on your inane comments - thankfully you didn't fail this time either

Shirley - Get rid of creepy paper product guy, while he may be completely innocent in his intentions...still makes it well....creepy.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/27/2009 7:08:22 AM
Look - you said he came by once to surprise you with flowers. You told him then not to stop by unannounced. You asked him to pick you up some things - for whatever reason (he forgot, he took the rest of your stuff in with his, whatever) he didn't have it all, realized it, and left the rest at your door if I understand the story right. You didn't say he rang the bell or anything - probably because you were being snarky about being bothered when he stopped by with the flowers! And...what's wrong with inviting you over to his place?

If you were as into him as he is into you, you wouldn't be posting this stuff. Quit using someone you KNOW is really developing feeling for you to fill in your down time, then complaining when he actually expects that maybe you'd want to spend some time with him on his terms.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 23
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/27/2009 12:10:36 PM
Msg. #26:

Gawwwwwwwwwwwd... I just cant cope with the levels of paranoia today!! Truly OP... if Im seeing someone then its a RELATIONSHIP... If he wants to drop off groceries .. Im gonna be flattered!! I cannot get over how uptight and humourless people seem to be here... just relax ffs!! People need to stop being so insular and up themselves... male and female! Enjoy the attention and the pampering for what it is... A kind gesture. Yeahhh I know Im going to get blasted for my views but I can cope. My SO would do that kind of thing and hell.. I love him for his thoughtfulness. Arrghhhhh... truly folks... loosen up... most people are good, honest and kind!!



Msg. #39:

Look - you said he came by once to surprise you with flowers. You told him then not to stop by unannounced. You asked him to pick you up some things - for whatever reason (he forgot, he took the rest of your stuff in with his, whatever) he didn't have it all, realized it, and left the rest at your door if I understand the story right. You didn't say he rang the bell or anything - probably because you were being snarky about being bothered when he stopped by with the flowers! And...what's wrong with inviting you over to his place?

If you were as into him as he is into you, you wouldn't be posting this stuff. Quit using someone you KNOW is really developing feeling for you to fill in your down time, then complaining when he actually expects that maybe you'd want to spend some time with him on his terms.









~ds~
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/27/2009 2:15:36 PM
Have you slept with the guy? Or was his more like a friend?

Personally, even though tissue paper is no big deal, any breach of privacy in terms of what you have agreed to share is unacceptable. So the symbolic nature of what he did is what it counts.

And by the way. Don't get the curtains. You want to walk naked in you private backyard, that is your choice, so do as you please.
 Scorpianfish
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 25
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How proud and how private is too much?
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:20:08 PM
The question of proud and how private seems like a no brainer to me. If you asked to be called first then the person should be calling before visits. To private, not for you I guess but maybe for him. Like it has been stated we are all entitled to our own comfort zones.

Seems like he likes you so if you are not that into him maybe you should let him know or let him go. This goes beyond your question but it brings up a good point. What do we owe the other person we are dating, what is fair. I recently stopped seeing someone because I could not see us long-term and that is where she wanted to go. It was the "right" thing to do, but now we no longer can hangout or have sex. I did this as she was looking at "us" as a LTR and I could not see that going on.

Enjoy
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