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 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 1
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
this purely my observation/s, i did not do any research to back my statements, other than looking to see if this has been posted before and obviously i didnt find that to be the case.

I know that personalities are influenced by a number of things: genes, life experiences, environmental factors, age, gender, etc etc... however, i have noticed a pattern that makes me wonder if our (and particularly women's) personality is significantly influenced by their own looks/physical attributes (or their perception of such)....

here is my point. I know that my interests and my job and not particularly popular among the female population and especially in this state (Wa., which is extremely liberal for those of you that dont know), nevertheless, i have found some (not many) women who have similar interests, namely: hunting, guns, dirt bikes, camping, playing sports and the like....i know the reason i like these is that my personality is such that said activities are appealing.... i tend to gravitate to physical activities that require some form of significant exertion....

what i havent been able to figure out is why it is that the women that seem to be into these type of activities are all (but one so far in 20 plus years of experience) the unattractive (to me) types....

what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?" they are outgoing, up for just about anything, spontaneous and just plain fun to be around. i've made friends with several of them, but i just wonder, why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around? do unattractive women "make up" with personality what they lack in looks? do good looking women think that their looks are enough? or that men will put up with their "boring" personality due to her looks?

im not bashing, and im sure us men do it too to some extent, but obviously im not here evaluating why guys act the way they do since im not really all that interested in them!!!! lol... i do truly wonder if this is just me, or if other guys have noticed the same and if women consciously "adjust" their personality based on their looks.....
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 2
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:10:26 AM
silken.... im actually not looking for anyone at this point....im seeing someone and just here for the forums. as far as my few extra pounds, they are a result of an ankle injury and subsequent 2 months of no weight bearing and 2 others on a cast... 15 of those pounds are already gone and the rest should be gone as well by mid summer hopefully....

that being said, this thread is not about dating or finding someone (right now)... its just about what i've noticed.... again, i realize that killing animals may not be all that appealing and do not expect women to be into it.... however, i dont think that target shooting, camping, riding dirt bikes and playing sports has much to do with testosterone.... to be honest, im not attracted to women who wear lots of make-up, spend hours doing their hair or who get manicures on a regular basis.... i like thin, naturally beautiful women.... if she doesnt look good when she wakes in the morning with nothing more than one of my t-shirts on, then she is artificially attractive which to me is a turn off....

but im getting off subject.... i mentioned my interests because, well... they are my interests, but the point still remains, that by large most women i've met who were unattractive, had much more appealing personalities overall than those who were attractive.... for example, i went to a friend's b-day party a couple of weeks back.... there were several unattractive (again my standards) women and 3 very attractive ones, now i wasnt hitting on any of them, just being social and goofy as always.... funny thing is that the attractive ones socialized within their group of 5 or 6 until myself and a couple of my friends started talking and laughing with some of the unattractive ladies in the living room, then the first group moved over and started chiming in, but still the 3 attractive ladies remained standoffish.... while all the others were just having a good time....

i've seen that time and time again... i know there are fun and interesting people of all shapes out there, but there just seem to be a pattern that my friends and i have noticed and the only common denominator is appearance.....
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 3
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:33:24 AM
and that is exactly it unrinemyway.... in a perfect world i'd meet Angelina Jolie while out riding quads in the mountains with a .300 WinMag slung across the back.... but that's not reality....

the woman im seeing right now, is, so far very cool, attractive and can break a nail without having a nervous breakdown and she gets dirty for work on a regular basis.... so far so good... so far so good, and yes i look forward to part taking in her activities as well.... it does go both ways.... funny thing is i didnt meet her online....

the question still remains though... does looks have a significant impact on a woman's personality? does she feel she needs to be more assertive with men (approach rather than waiting to be hit on) if she is less attractive? is she less/more likely to get upset if her man looks at another woman? is she more/less prone to get jealous? is she more tolerant of her man's interests?

my ex was attractive and thin, yet turned out to be controlling, nagging, intolerant of everything and all she ever wanted to do on weekends was to either sit around in front of the tv (w/out conversation) or go to whatever event SHE wanted to go to... yet her very unattractive sister was the opposite... raised by the same parents, same environment, same genes, etc etc... only difference was their looks. what gives?
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 4
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:03:40 AM
^^^^^ i agree Silken that there is a risk of injury and that responsibilities do take precendence over most everything else, however, im of the thought that life would certainly not be much fun if i stayed away from everything that could injure me... and certainly wouldnt be doing the job i do, but that being said, trying to be safe from injury is kind of a double edge sword, cause the reality is you could be hurt in a car accident just a likely (and some would argue that it'd be more so) as riding a quad.... fortunately i have a cool job with cool benefits that keeps me employed even if im injured.....

as for caloric intake, you are 100% right, i couldnt really stand up so ordering a pizza was certainly easier than cooking one....

again i do understand concerns for safety and truly im starting to regret to a degree mentioning my interests... i should have kept it to just what i've noticed to see if others had noticed it as well .... sort of my way of confirming or discarding my theory.... i really dont want to turn this into a "what's attractive and appealing" or "who is fun or boring" thread, those have been done to death... i appreciate your input, you make some very valid points..... thx
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 5
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:06:56 AM
Perhaps this explains the wild appeal of Sarah Palin??? I also was taken hunting when I was a child by my father. It was a short-lived interest, as I also grew to dislike killing animals.

Urinemyway's point resonates with me. While I was more a tomboy growing up compared to a girly girl, this changed in adolescence. There are different spheres of interests for each group with some cross-over.

One other point, hunting ATVing, etc., are activities that associated in most part with a rural lifestyle. When I was a kid, we lived in a town on the prairies of 1,500. Most of the folks in that town did the same sorts of activities that you mention, because they had great access to it. In all of the rural places that I've lived subsequent to that period, those still the popular interests of many of the folks no matter which rural community I lived in. Most people today live in cities...

I've spent most of my life in cities, and these types of activities don't tend to be the activities of choice of people living in these places for practical reasons, and also because there are many other activities out there to capture interest.

edit
~~~
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 6
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:22:49 AM
I think you brought up an interesting topic.

Personally, I think a woman's appearance is a direct indication of how she thinks, what she values, and where she chooses to be in any particular time in her life.

I have NO patience or sympathy for a woman who allows our society, norms, mores, issues, magazines, media of any kind, opinion, political correctness or any other means to dictate who and what she will be or how she will appear.

1) The fashion industry is enundated with persons who have no business dictating what the "fashionable" woman will wear season to season. For the most part they are socially dysfunctional, delusional misfits.

2) A woman who appears dowdy and plain probably is dowdy and plain in her thinking and in her personal life. It has been my observation that the most dowdy are content to work as a piker for a gold watch after 20 yrs. of service and who, at the end of life have about as much passion as a dish rag, only to find themselves at the end of their journey appearing to be a sexually blended thing instead of a vibrant, sexy, passionate female with life oozing from every pore.

3) Then there are the plastic females who are so fearful of losing the Elle image of what a woman should be like that they buy every wrinkle cream that comes out, undergo the knife or botox, allow plastic into their bodies and into their minds....think showing a leg or a plastic tit is the sum total of femininity or a huge arse, ie Kardashian/JLowe...

4) Cigarette huffing females who speak with raspy voices and think sexy is showering in perfume to cover up the smell eminating from every pore like an escapee of Hell....holding their acrylic nailed fingers out the car window in the smoker's salute....thinking they are worldly and sexy....

So, yes, a woman's outward appearance IS a reflection of the person inside.
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 7
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:32:21 AM
[Op,you sound awfully hung up on looks..........

If you're looking for Lara Croft........she's already been snapped up.......

You're average..........go for average......]

well strawbs09... again.. this is not a thread of what im looking for... but to answer your comment, yes im am hung up on looks.... if im not attracted to someone physically AND intellecutally there is not going to be a romantic relationship... end of story.

as for me being average,... well you are entitled to your opinion, but if you asked me, i'd tell you that im exceptional and definitely unique.... i would hope you (and everyone) would think of yourself the same way.... so no im not looking for average, im looking for someone just as exceptional and unique and who is physically AND intellectually compatible with my uniqueness.... so far things are good

but again we are getting off subject.... i wish i could edit the original post and just take out the interests part and simply stuck with the original questions..... oh well... i suppose i'll just see where this ends up.....
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 8
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:06:27 AM
i'm actually rather shocked right now.... not because your descriptions are eye opening but because i never thought i'd hear my thoughts expressed by a female.....

i think i'll order a #3.... can i get that supersized and does it come with a sweet dessert? lol
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 9
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:07:07 AM

hunting, guns, dirt bikes, camping, playing sports and the like....


These are a few of my favorite things. In fact rather proud that I just purchased my first three bedroom tent - can't wait to try to set that baby up in a rain storm!!!

Do you perhaps think I should be more thin and attractive?

I don't think the theory holds much weight. But perhaps there's nothing but unappealling women in Washington State? Or maybe you like high maintenance chicks and low maintenance entertainment?
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 10
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:19:46 AM
good grief !!!! can we just forget about MY interests or what I am loking for and just discuss if there is a tendency for women to be affable, fun, outgoing or conceited, superficial and materialistic based on their self perception of their appearance?

or should i start another thread asking why it is that most threads in here seem to always turn into OP bashing sessions?
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 11
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:46:41 AM
The answer to the OPost lies largely in the amount of testosterone a female fetus is exposed to at a critical phase in utero (6-7 weeks). Since this is can be of varying amounts, women's "brain sex" lies on a continuum, from girly-girl (virtually none) to totally butch (the max, while still developing into a girl/woman). The effect of testosterone is to masculinize, hence the former will have no interest (or competence) in typically male interests of the sort the OP refers to.

<div class='quote'>why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around?
That's a slightly different question. But the sort of thing the OP was getting at is eerily similar to what was discussed twenty years ago by Warren Farrell in his book "Why Men Are The Way They Are":

A man experiences a dilemma when he finds that the most beautiful women have the least incentive to become well integrated in the other areas of power [besides sexual power]. He knows intellectually he should choose a well-integrated woman. But he feels torn between attractive women, whom he notices are choosing 'supermen', although he realizes supermen are often not well integrated themselves, and less attractive women, who have had more incentive to integrate all five areas of power [-have to see the book for the full discussion of what these are]. So he is caught between giving up his first and only condition for sex (attractiveness) and getting the condition met at the price of sacrificing the other areas in the woman.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 12
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:03:18 AM
From your profile:
Just so yall know, I am currently seeing someone and only here for the forums at this time.
You obviously have found her. So why are you asking the question?
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 13
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:18:50 AM
well forumologist, clearly you are too fast for me and obviously nothing gets past you!!!

I hate women, im missing several teeth, have no job and live with my parents, i am sooooo ugly and huge that my dog runs every time i call his name (not sure if he's afraid of my looks or that i'll eat him if he comes). about the only thing that i have going for me is that i no longer need to spend loads of money on shampoo, but then again since im so big i cant even get up from the couch, i havent really taken a shower in years..... actually now that i think about it, i dont really hate women.... i hate myself but cope by taking it out on women... as for my gf i made her up.... she is the hottest woman to have ever been made on a computer.... not only is she hot, but she also cooks me the 20 lbs of food i eat every day and changes my diaper.... all with a smile !!!!

now if you are gonna do some bashing then have at it but please dont do me any favors and try to be somewhat civilized about it.... go all out !!! personally i think its funny that ppl take offense to other's opinions... no wonder everyone is so PC these days
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 14
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:23:45 PM
Personally, I am a tomboy type. I do carpentry work, have long pretty natural nails, have long blonde hair mixed with red highlights, am average build with a nice rack, drove a semi for nearly 4 years...

I work in the yard and on my car...hood up...grease monkey....

Then I go in the house, shower, put on my little black dress, display the "wares", strap on my Evan Piccone shoes, apply my "exotic" makeup, don the jewelry pat my a** for good luck and hit the clubs.......

I love to camp, fish, hunt, hike, swim and sail....BUT, I'm a total girly girl.

My head is found quite often in a good book or doing research or writing poetry or an article or short story, or painting with Craypa's or chalk.

So, what's the big deal????? PEOPLE of either sex, of any socio-economic background, political leaning...etal, can be anything they want or aspire to be.

I might be unrecognizable one minute, covered with dirt and grime and the next smell like Chanel with smooth silky skin....I don't get it!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:34:04 PM
Okay, I only read part of the first page but I think I see a pattern. First you find Angelina Jolie attractive, well not many women have bodies that weight less than their lips and have 6 children and who's to say she's not a nagging battleaxe, you are only going by her looks. You say your ex was the right look but not the right personality, yet there's AJ whom you don't know from chit but you assume if you met her while doing your thing the perfect woman would have walked into your life, so you spend a lot of time thinking about imaginary women instead of finding a real women who meets your needs. So I'm guessing you date women whom you feel you've settled for while waiting for something more AJ looking who can hunt and play football.....you see the pattern?

I'm sure there are attractive slim women who would like to do all the stuff you do but I also imagine it's hard to look good for very long if they attempted to do the things you do. I mean you look pretty messy in the pictures, how's a women who's fussy about her looks and weight going to do all that and still manage to look all gussied up? I know a lot of women who do the things you like but they also look pretty roughed up like you, for the same reasons. Anyway, what's your current girlfriend look like? Does she cut the mustard for you?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:31:53 PM



A 300 pound 75 year old angry drunk drugged out truck stop waitress with no teeth and is a single mother to 14 children, each from a different convict baby daddy, who spits when she talks is probably not going to get away with being really mean to most men and still get what she wants. (In fact, even if she's nice, she still might not get what she wants from men)


And yet she's had at least 14 men and is still active enough to work and get men into bed. Let's face it, many really ugly people get laid and get partners and in fact some of them get partners that make people wonder how it happened. And I'm not meaning through wealth, we all see really trashy people with dates/marriages and lots of kids. Ugly people seem to be more likely in fact according to all the whining from good looking people who can't seem to find someone.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 17
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:56:35 PM

That's a bit harsh...I worked for professor for a time who appeared pretty dowdy, but who was a brilliant intellect, and original character in every way. Her passion for her work was inspiring, and I can assure you she moved up the career ranks rapidly as she deserved to do. She was no "piker" and would have been far from content to put in twenty years of service for a gold watch. She had (and still has ) a loving and sexy husband who adored her and wrote poetry and music inspired by her.

Your opinion seems a bit at odds with the first part of your post:


Well, Marianne, my apologies to your friend, but maybe your definition of 'dowdy' differs from mine. Sometimes the treasures within a person are so brilliant that nothing but a plain wrapper will do. To be vibrant and colorful would be gilding the lily.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:38:40 PM
I gave in and looked up Megan Fox, she's a very young women who looks like a skinny Kardashsian, as in Keeping Up with the Kardashians (spelling optional). Hard to tell what she really looked like, she had on 20 pounds of make up and pumped up lips.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 19
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is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:12:14 AM
"What comes around, goes around!"

OP: These forums are littered with men complaining about womens' unrealistic expectations.
Now you've gone and done it by revealing our unrealistic expectations about them!


Why? Cuz her mascara would smear up the lens on the scope! And the dear would smell her makeup long before you'd ever see it!

Besides.........asphalt on a really hot day is hell in stilettos. Let alone some backwoods trail!

Not to mention, you do NOT want a woman whom feels the need to put make-up on........just to check the mail.


In summary, if you want a catch? Be a catch! Which you are not now.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 20
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 3:47:24 AM

the question still remains though... does looks have a significant impact on a woman's personality? does she feel she needs to be more assertive with men (approach rather than waiting to be hit on) if she is less attractive? is she less/more likely to get upset if her man looks at another woman? is she more/less prone to get jealous? is she more tolerant of her man's interests?

my ex was attractive and thin, yet turned out to be controlling, nagging, intolerant of everything and all she ever wanted to do on weekends was to either sit around in front of the tv (w/out conversation) or go to whatever event SHE wanted to go to... yet her very unattractive sister was the opposite... raised by the same parents, same environment, same genes, etc etc... only difference was their looks. what gives?


I've noticed this too. And I concur that it's usually the case. Almost every single girl I've ever dated has been a late bloomer. In my experience, less attractive women generally develop more of a personality and an interesting life. I think a lot of it goes back to hs and college. Girls who are really pretty in those social arenas are catered attention to on a daily basis. Less attractive girls have to actually work for attention, and spend more time developing what it is that makes them who they are.

In my opinion, late bloomers are where it's at. For men too, ladies. This die falls both ways. The only way I've ever found it possible to date a woman I find both physically and emotionally attractive is to meet a late bloomer.

ymmv
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 21
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:28:36 AM

You have obviously not met many goodlooking women and being goodlooking does not necassarily mean being thin some very curvacious larger women are very attractive just as some bigger built men ooze sex appeal.


Uhhh... whatever. By the way, punctuation is your friend. You should get to know him/her better.

"Curvacious" to me means "vixen". My x fiance' was 5'5, about 130 lbs, a size 5 in jeans, and was a 34DDD. That is curvacious. Fat is not curvacious. Fat is lazy.

I know. I got fat when I was a restaurant manager and I've been working like crazy to get it all off. There is nothing sexy about being unhealthy.

Thank you.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 22
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:32:53 AM

You have obviously not met many goodlooking women and being goodlooking does not necassarily mean being thin some very curvacious larger women are very attractive just as some bigger built men ooze sex appeal.
Maybe you are going for looks too much and they notice this and it puts them off, even very pretty girls are not stupid they are used to guys chasing after them and are not impressed by someone going after them just for their looks and prefer to have someone who likes them for themself and who they get along with.


Double posts are not your friend. Or anyone else's. And everyone likes to be told that their partner finds them attractive.

I really hate to break it to you, but men are visual - most women are to some degree too. If it were only men who found thin, healthy women attractive, there would not be a bajillion weight loss pills out there, and 50% of every magazine for women wouldn't be about losing weight.

Being an awesome person takes hard work and self discipline. Past the age of 18, most people with nice bodies work to have it. This is respectable.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 23
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:42:46 AM

Oh Plaeeeeze!


Fat is lazy.

Some women (and men) don't have it in their genes to be skinny little waifs. That doesn't mean they are lazy, or unhealthy!


Overweight is overweight regardless of body style. Lucy Lawless for instance is NOT a small girl - but she is very beautiful and has a wonderful physique.

Seriously - a larger frame is not an excuse to pack on 50 lbs. Come on, folks. This is not rocket science. It's not about looks - it's about health. I find is highly ironic and disgusting that our society places such a huge emphisis on smoking, while walmart furnishes motorized carts for all the disgustingly obese person to drive around in. Because walking may be too hard, ya know.

It all reminds me of Wall-E.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 24
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:44:20 AM
And Cityhorsewoman, I don't get where you're coming from.

You look great, and you have a physique that most other women in their early 40s would kill to have. You are an "attractive woman".

??confused??
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 25
is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:52:08 AM
Well, all 3 words are obviously very much context laden and subject to the relative mores of whoever is doing the term-slinging.

Personally, I think that a healthy BMI is a pretty good indicator. Beyond that, some people have more attractive features than others.

Just simple things such as the way a person (especially a woman) dresses can have a huge effect.

Getting back to the original question posted by the OP, I do believe that how we are treated at younger ages in school has a HUGE effect on who we become as adults. Vapid, self centered airheads don't even really change in personality - even after they have a couple of kids and gain 100 lbs.

Sweet, intelligent, artistic girls stay that way even after they grow some boobs and a smoking hot bod. A large number of actresses, dancers, and musicians who are both clever, humble, and beautiful were late bloomers and were bullied in school.

This is the gist of my point. It's illogical to say that people who are treated in very different ways growing up will not develop into different people. There are always exceptions to the rule - like I graduated with a Miss Washington from hs... and she was ALWAYS an incredible, exceptionally nice person. However, I think a large portion of this was due to her upbringing and naturally vibrant personality.
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