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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 3
Younger woman dating an older manPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
In my group, there's a 66 year old man dating a woman who is probably in her mid-40's. They look ridiculous together. Worse- her best friend is dating a man closer to their age so "grandpa" appears to be exactly that-- their father.
The problem you could encounter with an older, more education man is you'll be in a parent-child relationship and give up who you are. If the relationship progresses, ask yourself
Does my partner respect me?"
"Does my partner treat me as an equal?"
"Do I feel like an equal with my partner?"
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 6
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Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 7:34:55 AM
I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similiar situation to mine and what the outcome of their relationship was?

I'm wondering why you think your experience will be the same as someone else's. It's like buying the same model car as your neighbor - yours might be a gem, his might be a lemon. Just do it - if it works out, great. If not, toss him back and try again.
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 7
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Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 7:58:02 AM
...and not mention we could almost be mistaken for father and daughter.

Yes, it's a way of flying under the radar so you don't get snagged by the Age Police.

... and do men as they age desire less sex than when they were younger?

Affirmative, typically. This makes men older than about their mid-thirties a lot closer to women in their libidos, which could be a Good Thing -- especially considering how much women complain chronically about men only being "interested in one thing".
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 8
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:44:45 AM

he is far more educated, has much more life experience

This factor could lead to problems, OP. Although I tend to date somewhat younger women (the last two have been 33 and 35 whereas I am 66) the women I date tend to be educationally and intellectually well matched with me.
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 9
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:45:18 AM
On the net it would be considered creepy..... I'm 32 and if I messaged a girl who is 18-21... wouldnt you ladies write me and thought I was creepy? Come on be honest!
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 10
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:37:01 AM
No one can tell you what works for you but yourself. I'm sure there will be people who roll their eyes at this but I thought I'd share... I don't think you should up and leave him just because of an age difference and it's no wonder why you'd be attracted to someone who's educated and I'm assuming stable. I know I'm young saying this but it comes from experience. I dated a man who was 43 when I was 21, there was never a dull moment and he treated me like gold. What I enjoyed the most was that he was very easy to talk to and took pride in his appearance (even though that seems silly). And as for the sexual aspect, I think it gave him more of an edge with me because he could be more gentle instead of someone my age who I felt like I needed to give 4 tickets to after the ride. It didn't end up working because he moved to another state for a firm and the long distance relationship was not my thing.
Just do what's best for you.
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 11
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 1:00:45 PM
The first and foremost thing to remember is that we are all different from each other so what is good for the goose at times may or may not be good for the gander. As an example, I am in my 60's but guessed between 47 and 56 all the time from men and women. My actions are those of a much younger person, I am very sexually active with staying power, I love to travel and expect the same, I don't go to blue/gray special dinner places, I boat, fish, ski, dine out way too much even though I am a gourmet cook, and when I go dancing, it seems that I am approached by ladies in their 30's and 40's all the time. That is just part of me but as you can see, I have not caved in to the age group I am supposed to be associated with. Would I date an older lady, yes, if she acted, talked, and presented herself as a younger person. I thought I was with the greatest lady in all the world until she became involved with a younger man from her work and they had an affair which I will not permit. ( She just turned 50 and was a former Miss Texas and she begs to return but once burned always burned). You spoke of education and yes, that is important but we must agree, education alone does not pay the bills and put food on the table so if an older man or woman (in my case) was to show interest and have chemistry with the other person, why not go for it. My daughter just lost her husband from Cancer in December and she is 40 and he was 64. They were so in love that anyone ever met them could at first see the physical age difference but then, admire this couple for their eagerness of wanting and creating a better world for each other. Being in the medical field, I offered to get him some Viagra one day as a joke to them and the answer from both was hell no, we do quite well on our own. Now, for the final thought, when he died, he had a nice pension and home and it now goes to my daughter but she still states to this day, the hell with the money and house, all I want to do is to enjoy another sunset with my main man. In closing, you need to check the words out of this song which is very meaningful to a couple of any age group but when it comes to an older man and a younger lady, it takes on much more meaning, Garth Brooks - If Tomorrow Never Comes. Jim
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 12
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:07:17 PM
I'm an older man who has dated a younger woman. I would not fear that the man is desires less sex. And I would not worry that the man is more educated. These matters have nothing to do with how a man feels and what he wants. Most men like me have come from a marriage and relationship where everything went wrong and was wrong. we just want to be able to show some one we care about just how excited you make us.
I hope that helps. Show the man you want just how much he means to you and put all your fears aside. The results should be more then you can imagine I suspect.
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 13
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Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/8/2009 4:44:23 PM
OP - only time will tell if this is the right relationship. Of course, he'll have more life's experiences than you, simply because he's older. As far as the education goes, you're as educated as you want to be. If you feel you need education, go back to school, or start reading some good books.

When it comes to the sex part. Once the fellas reach age 50+, they may have sexual issues if their health isn't up to par. That may be one thing you'll have to prepare yourself for, and the 2 of you may have to deal with it at some point. It's not that men lose the desire, it's that their bodies may crap out sooner than their minds.
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 15
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/9/2009 6:59:05 PM

Was I clear?

As mud. Got no idea what point you're trying to make.
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 16
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:49:06 PM
Look around - how many relationships fail? We know that the marriage failure rate in this country is over 50%! Only two things in life are guaranteed - death and taxes.

An older man appreciates a younger woman. He will try harder. Men your age want women in their twenties - no? I'm sure you know that already. As far as lovemaking - older men have more patience and aim to please. I know plenty of married couples that are close in age who have sex once a month! Isn't a woman's greatest love - the one in which she is cherished and truly desired?

As far as compatibility - one would hope to meet someone who has some things in common though personally I would hope to meet someone that brings something different. A successful relationship needs the flexibility to learn from one another or the same old thing gets boring quickly. You mention how much more educated and experienced your beau is... do you not think he can also learn from you?

If you feel the chemistry - go for it. Live, learn and experience life.
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 19
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Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/12/2009 11:57:27 AM
Dating or a short-term relationship with someone quite different in age is one thing, and go for it if you want. The problems mostly arise later on as some have pointed out. It may not be a concern for some, but think through all the ramifications. Personally, about 10 years difference is the maximum with which I'd be comfortable long term.

I do know several couples where there is a 15 to 20+ year age difference. Some seem to be doing well, and others not so much. I met one couple recently who have a 17 year difference, and they've been together a year or so. However, she wants the marriage and kids thing within a few years, so may well move on if he doesn't go along with that. For now, though, they're both having a great time.
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 23
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/12/2009 5:21:46 PM
Where is the sensibility that most folks should exercise if a lady is dating or married to an older man. I feel badly for you if you think good, honest, and loving men would want to trade you in for a younger model when you get older. Oh my, here in God's world, a phenomena happens when the North falls South a bit and road maps begin to appear on the body. To me, those are beauty marks and it certainly doesn't take away the fact that you loved her when you became involved with her, but your love has grown exponentially over the years. When she ages, a man begins to feel that she is attempting to catch up with him and if anything, he loves her more. Another quote was from a man as he expertly pointed out that when a man is 74 the lady is 54 and so-on but remember one thing, you certainly can't judge a book by it's cover. I am blessed not to have wrinkles and walking with a walker or in a wheel chair but if I did, my love would never falter for my wife. The last lady in my life had just turned 50 and she never once ask me to take her anyplace or go hiking, swimming, traveling or other great adventures like that since we were doing it already. Even though she succumbed to life's pressures and her family, I still respect her even though I never travel the same road twice. In closing, I would never allow my wife to be taken to a hospital room without me being right there, 24/7. All I can say is that the staff better put another bed in that room until I can bring my wife home where she belongs. Love is easy as long as you show it every day of your life and when the time comes to check out of this world, just make certain you have provided for her and the family the best you could so she can live a happy life.
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 24
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 5/12/2009 5:50:14 PM

I was referring to Sheeva's post. Married older men?

But Sheeva wasn't referring to MARRIED older men?

You know, most of my friends and family (women) are dating or have married men about 10 or more years older than them,

Most of her friends and family are dating and HAVE married men about 10 or more years older than them.

Reading the's a good thing.

I agree.
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 25
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:46:35 PM
My dating preferences are from 18 to 40.....Having said that I haven't met any mature girls 27 and under that would work for ltr.Now if I was just looking for sex (hint hint) then it might be different.
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 27
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:10:14 AM
The only rule is...Chemistry, chemistry, and more chemistry...Kinda like location, location, location....

Seriously...Chemistry, values, energy, and attitude are the key factors that should match your own...Trust me it can work even if you both have very different interests....If you both value your independence for example...

I do think Chemistry can make a relationship work when some of the other factors mentioned are not as strong a match....Chemistry is an amazing thing, isn't it :-)
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 28
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:27:28 AM
i'm really fortunate that i look younger than my age (58) and that i have a wide range of interests.

i have dated women 19 to 70 yrs old in 2009 and the 20 somethings are the most fun but least dependable. the older ones in their 50's and 60's are more interesting but a bit staid.

so i would say a young woman who was mature in her upper 20's or 30's would be a great match for an active and open man in his early 50's if they had chemistry and interests in common.
Joined: 5/4/2010
Msg: 33
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 6/4/2010 7:28:51 AM
I dated a guy who was 30 years old . And I am 22. there was an 8 year age gap between which to me was no biggie we got along great at first but it was his mental state that ruined everything ....I will spare everyone the details for now but lets just say he moved out of the country a month ago may 8th and three weeks later he messages me saying he misses me and hopes things are alright with me ....things wherent always perfect between us but it was our situation that didnt fit well .....I must admit I still miss my silver fox :(
Joined: 5/4/2010
Msg: 34
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 6/5/2010 6:28:38 AM
his hair was greying early was a heriditary thing
Joined: 12/8/2010
Msg: 35
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 1/24/2011 7:44:10 AM
its a myth,im 40,and ive dated 20 year old women who couldnt match my sex drive,,,,if its real,stay with it,as the same for younger guys dating older women,50% or better is an undetermined factor of sex,experince and wanting to learn,all the ladies knowa man in his 20 and mid 20s pretty much isnt concerned with her needs,but a man 35 plus has that experince to take her where she wants to go,mind blowing orgasms,one after another,its ok to want better sex,the other half is stability,ive dated a woman in her 50s,20 yr difference right? shape of my life at 33,i was going to school her,,,,"tea right i created a monster that could not be tamed,and noone wants to talk about it,you didnt just wake up yesterday and decide you were a great lover,the only way that both men and women acquire that is through partners,",i mean who taught you to be a great ,dad,? give me a on young ladies its a gift,and if there is love there its a blessing............william

 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 36
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:13:43 AM
I've dated women born in the later 80's and found them to be fun. I've also dated women born in the 30's (it was some time ago) and found them to be fun. The biggest younger age differnce was 34 years younger and the oldest age difference was 30 years older.
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 37
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:15:25 AM
i'm a 28 yr old man and at the Youngstown Ohio hiphop clubs i see a few older guys hanging around. sometimes they do ok. my female friends say they will only go out with an older man in his 40's or 50's if he has a great personality, is gentlemanly and is really hott.

there's ONE older guy in his 50's who kind of stands out and does good with the young women and even i have to admit he dresses well and is a good looking guy. i talked to him once and even though he's short he had a certain charisma. he said he dated women of all ages from 21 to 70.

later i saw him out on the dancefloor and he knew what he was doing. left the club with a cute little babe about my age. i think his name was Tom. so i guess some women in their 20's do like older men.
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 38
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:35:43 AM
its not bad to date someone that much older sincees your in your mid thirties . i am going on 345 this yr and a could of yrs ago i dated someone in their fifties . but i lived my life way pass my age . i think more than even he did . but it dpends if you listen to the same type of music if hes ok with the same and the mature level plays a factor but sometimes like mysef you grow out of that age .or you could get bored . but if you are understnading that a man at that age does slow down on sex its normal . but i always dated guys alot older than me . becaouse i think they make better lovers . they are more than just sex . they like to be on more levels
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 39
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:40:40 AM

I wonder what we'll have in common because our backgrounds are so different

If you discuss your interests, beliefs, and goals in life, you will discover what you have in common, or not; just as you would with someone your own age.

and not mention we could almost be mistaken for father and daughter.

By whom? Total strangers? Do you live your life for total strangers or for yourself?

Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 40
Younger woman dating an older man
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:39:07 PM
The OP is long gone no doubt, from two years ago.
This thread does not contain the stupidity I would have expected. There were some very sane replies.
I have to laugh when I see people mention small age differences, 8 or ten years, as if it's a BIG BIG DEAL.....I mean, a 40 year old woman thinks she's dating an "older" man if the man is 50?????
Hey sweetie.....the 40 year old man is going after 25 year olds, if he's still in good shape.
I often wonder, who on earth came up with the "have to date the same age" rule?
This is one of those topics that stirs strong emotions, for reasons I will never comprehend.

So many women on the dating sites absolutely will NOT date anyone over five years older. You can't even send them a message because you get blocked. They're probably missing the greatest loves of their lives.
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