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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I feel like I've lost my soul      Home login  
 Here Comes Kitty
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 19
I feel like I've lost my soulPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Been through a very similar situation, it's now fast forward 2 yrs and I'm ready to face the world again. Many people have already covered the most important points, so I won't re-hash. My advice is to get your hands on the book "Rebuilding When your relationship ends" by Dr. Bruce Fisher ISBN 0-915166-95-X. That combined with a very good therapist saved my life. There is also a workbook you can buy to go with it (didn't know about it at the time, so can't comment on usefulness). It's one day at a time from here, but you can, and will get through it. Ultimately we can choose to take something away from the experience and grow stronger from it, or we can drown. I chose to swim, I hope you do the same :)
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 21
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I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:53:54 AM
I lived with a woman for a year, and I loved her and her daughter immensely and I came home from work one day and she kicked me out. I was crushed and used to have panic attacks, with crying, hyper ventilating etc. I would be fine one minute then hear a song on the radio and breakdown again. I read a book Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, by Dr. Warren Ferrel, and it helped break my panic attacks and emotional distress. Dr. Ferrel also has a website and we have exchanged emails in the past.

It took me sometime to get past things, but once I realized that I can't control her, or make her want me in her life then the panic attacks stopped. I let her go entirely out of my mind, and my own desire to try and save something she wanted no part of.
Ironic as it is the woman who caused my pain and panic attacks gave me some advice which did help the last time we ever talked:
"Think of what you have, and NOT what you don't have".

It's hard sometimes, but happiness is a choice and I want to be happy so I remember the good times, and think of what I have right now and drive on.

Hang in there Hotbreez!! Cheers..Willie
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 24
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/11/2009 6:46:16 PM
So sorry for your pain...its very difficult and nothing anyone says will help you...when its time your heart will heal and you will see the sunshine again...or the stars...til then...when you feel like crying..cry...when you feel like yelling...yell..and when you feel like trying again...DO IT!! Good luck girl...:)
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 35
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I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:35:32 AM
Hi hotbreez,
I know what you mean. I am in the same situation. All you can do is turn to the Lord, i don't know if you are a christian or not but i am hoping you are, every day my heart hurt so i pick up my bible and read and pray. So today when i do I'll say a prayer for you.

I will pray now!
Dear Lord, please take hotbreez into your loving arms and allow her some peace and joy. Show her as you have shown me that you are in control not her nor her husband is in control, Let her know your love for her and if it is your will bring this marriage back together. In your holy Name Lord Jesus I pray. Amen

Contact me hot breez if you would like to chat, My name is Jackie
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 39
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I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/14/2009 9:44:26 PM
Well if he's dead set on walking away there is nothing you can do but let him go and realize it's his loss more then yours. He will see the grass isnt greener in time. You have to realize that theres plenty of men out there that would love to be with a woman like you and you'll be ok in time, better off even.
As far as getting over him, well thats going to be the roughest part and many nights you will cry yourself to sleep. Took me almost 2 years to finally get over my ex.
But eventually the darkness does lift and the sun shines thru again. Stay active with friends and family, do stuff, don't stay home and mope, only makes it worse.
Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest. I promise, you'll be ok.
Love, not time, heals all broken hearts. You will love again, just hang in there.
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 40
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/16/2009 10:52:33 AM
I was though that before now going though something else trying to get back my soulmate! But back on point,There is nothing you can do about the way you feel! trying doing hobbies or seein friends talking about it! mybe after awhile you can get him back.Mybe A card but dont put alot of words in the card make it simple! Mybe put down things you guys did aas a couple just bring up happy times I know it will hurt inside doing this but it will make him think too! Try to be up beat in the card too! dont throw yourself at him it will make him go running.Mybe just be thoughtfull. The one thing that gets anybody attention is being curious! Make him wonder! Meet new friends I know its hard I have been doing it for 2 months now I send her cards sometimes myself but upbeat and the way it use to be not throwing myself on her! Tell him you want a new start! BUT up beat about it if you want him back?Jon
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 42
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/16/2009 1:57:11 PM
OP ..... I have the same thing with my ex-wife.

I have not seen her now in three years. I could pick up the phone and be on a "date" with her this week but ......

I spent 20 years thinking she loved me ........... and she did and still does but .......

"just not the way you want me to"

THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME ........ so I remain alone - my choice.


OP - it took me three years to accept it. I have now accepted it and that is that. Since that is not good enough for me - that is that.

I suggest you accept it - pull yourself up by your bootstraps and FORGET HIM.
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 44
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/16/2009 6:08:48 PM
Mans opinion...Let him think you are possible interested in seeing someone else or that you are try to meet new guys to fix that heart of yours...I didn't say sleep with someone but he doesn't have to know any different...It may take some time or he could want to talk pretty quick But you shouldn't talk about foregiveness to soon,give him time to stew on things and what he's started.IF he moved out DON'T CALL OR TEXT HIM.and don't make up excuess to do that either,he'll see right threw it.Things have to run their course.
One more thing did he know you are on PoF...?
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 55
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/21/2009 1:55:08 PM
well babe sometimes that happens i just left a three year realationship thought i would be with her forever but i know its hard so are you two staying together or separating?
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 61
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:44:54 PM
my ex husband was never in my marriage. that was unfair to me and ultimately the kids. he was into himself. he kept HIS money is a UK account called an ABBEY account with only his name on it. The money that was in the USA was under his name only. I had one child and was having another. He had a cell phone. I was not allowed to have one. He was from the UK. I am American. I loved my husband very much. I was willing to work past his insecurities and make OUR marriage work. I was willing to do whatever it took.
Ultimately, I had to revoke his green card. My ex has mental problems and refused to take his meds. So he went on the internet met a woman in Canada, shagged her, and now is in common law marriage with her. Abandoned the family.
I was sicked to my stomach. Cried all of the time. Every day. I was left with 2 babies in diapers and my husband is fuchking some whhore. OMG!!!!! MY HEART WAS BROKEN.

I just focused my loved on my children. Talked to friends online. I DID NOT DATE!!!!!!!
I started dating when I was 100% positive that I never wanted him back again and wanted a divorce. I started dating when I decided that I will never forgive him in my heart and throughout my whole body. You understand what I am saying. The pain consumes your whole body. When you make that decision it will be from within and you will feel disgusted by him and just stop caring. You will realize that he is not the man that you thought that he was. The man that you thought that he was, is a fantasy. Who is is, is not a nice person and you deserve the best!
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 65
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I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/31/2009 4:03:25 PM
sorry to hear i'm going threw the same thing thought i was spending the rest of my life with her but she wanted someone else . we can pick up our selfs up dust off it takes time but one sided love dosen't work. it's his loss in the long run love is just another word with no meaning to him. so gather the ones that love you they will never leave you you have a good heart n soul or it wouldn't bother you give it time you'll be fine

ps i was born in montreal here's a angel to look over you
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 67
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 5/31/2009 7:14:23 PM
Unfortunately, no. This is something you have to journey through by yourself-like death. However there is hope. Time does indeed heal all wounds if you can just endure your anguish. I know that may not be what you wish to hear, but all will be well-the sun also rises!
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 70
I feel like I've lost my soul
Posted: 6/1/2009 12:10:03 AM

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men

Um...."Men" I'd be adding "Women" onto that too if I were you. You woman aren't Saints by any means..........

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