Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Health Wellness  > Cancer hitting home?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 r3db3ard
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 2
Cancer hitting home?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I lost my grandfather, grandmother and a friend from cancer, i think the biggest thing anyone can do for a cancer patient is to be there for them and support them in their decision, if it is to do chemo or some other form of treatment, or to just wait.
 MissSweetie4u
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 3
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 5/15/2009 2:51:23 PM
I have 2 immedate family members with it, one is in remission and that other unfortunately is not. We cope as a family by showing our unconditional love and support toward each other and it has made our family bond stronger.

I have sadly lost aunts, uncles, and friends to cancer.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss
 London Lass 59
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 4
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 5/15/2009 4:33:24 PM
I lost my best friend in the UK to breast cancer in 2001, she was only 39.......She underwent a radical mastectomy and suffered many rounds of chemo and radiation. She unfortunetly was diagnosed late as her doctor did not think the lump in her breast was malignant, and told her it was just a cyst. By the time she was finally diagnosed after a second opinion she was a stage 5...........She battled the cancer for 3 years before it spread to the other breast, liver and bones. I left my home here in the States for 2 months to fly over to help take care of her. I was with her when she finally died, she was just 3 months shy of her 40th birthday. She left behind a devestated husband and a 16 year old daughter. It has been nine years since she died, but I still miss the best friend I ever had........
 greyingred
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 6/8/2009 3:41:52 AM
Thank you for this post. I have been watching my best friend losing far too much weight for six months. She had cancer some 15 odd years ago. Today she has been initially diagnosed with cystic neoplasm ( very different cancer to the first one which is a good sign) with more tests to come. She is a palliative care nurse and I grew up with a palliative care matron for a mum.Neither of us are stupid about the signs. I have known for three months things weren't right so today was not a shock and yet. Dag nab it, she is my bestest friend and I am sincerely hoping it will be cured. I joked today that on the bright side she is still 3kg heavier than me, with great tits and definately looks younger than her 52 years. Went onto the pof forums to see if anything on the subject was here...and there you are. Has anyone any experiences of what not and what to say to the patient, especially in the early stages of diagnosis etc...cos I have a typical medical black humour approach...so far she is laughing.

Anyways, I probably just needed to splurge cos can't tell my kids, nor hers until we know for sure and I feel sorta weirdly guilty about wanting to break down, rant and rave and feel poor me when I know tis just all self protection and self absorbtion.

I am sooooooo going to slap God when I see him if he takes her before we are all ready to let her go.
 VanessaInTexas
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 7
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:43:08 AM
Ive been hit hard by the news my sister has terminal cancer, as a matter of fact, I only learned it was terminal last Thursday (July 9, 2009).

The Drs said this was a very aggressive cancer and that it was time to stop fighting it and focus on my sister.

She seems upbeat but the rest of the family is absolutely falling apart, emotionally. We try not to let her know what it is doing to us but we have a lot of arrangements to figure out and how we will make her life the happiest it can be. We are at a loss..

I have also realized, it shows who is really there for you and who is not.. A LOT OF PEOPLE have come forward for my sister... and have stepped up to the plate for my family.

I want to thank GOD for them!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 7/14/2009 9:58:34 AM
I lost my brother to cancer when he was the tender age of 40 on January 31, 2007. By the time they caught it, it was final stages of Stage IV. 18" of his colon was 75% blocked by tumor, there were cysts on his liver, and the cancer had already spread to his lymph nodes and the base of his spine. He did 3 rounds of a liter-and-a-half of chemo pumped directly into his heart through cathader every two weeks, which stopped the spread of the cancer, but burned his body terribly and he couldn't stand the pain from eating solid food, so, already thin, he shrunk down to nothing. After rationalizing that his T-cell count was high enough to combat infection, the doc performed surgery to remove the tumor in his colon. Surgery was successful, but the doc was wrong about infection. Sepsis overtook him, his body filled up with fluid, which had to be constantly drained, his penis was cathaderized because he couldn't pee. He tried to get out of the hospital bed and walk down to the end of the hall every day, but was so weak, frail, in a "chemo fog" and pained up that he just couldn't stand the pain anymore, so, after dealing with a particularly hard night of agony, told us all he loved us and then had a massive stroke. His eyes rolled back in his head, he was no longer able to communicate, and he would just periodically crane his head over to the window every now and then as if to say "God, get me out of this body". We were praying for him to pull through up to that point, but, after that, we were praying for God to take him. My dad was the one who finally authorized upping the morphine drip and gave my brother "permission" to go if he wanted. He skipped a breath, and then he was gone. I had to run home to take care of business and wasn't there...thank God; I couldn't have handled watching him take his last breath.

The process of watching him go through this is not something I would wish on a stray dog, let alone my brother, the sweetest, nicest, most selfless, caring, generous individual, who I loved and love dearly (it was barbaric), and his absence has hollowed me out to the core, beyond devastating. About the only positive thing I took away from the experience is: Life is more fragile than what we think, and to love the people we love while they're here, because it's all so fragile and so temporary.
 silhouette007
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 9
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 7/14/2009 3:55:55 PM
I myself was dx with colon cancer in 2005. Luckily the prognosis was good and I will be cancer free four years in November. I did end up with a permanent colostomy, but surviving is well worth any cost. And in some ways it cost me my marriage , in 2008- a whole other story, lol.

In 2007, my mother was dx with ocular melanoma and is in remission. And in January of this year my 46 year old sister was dx with terminal pancreatic cancer. So, yes, I have had my fair share of cancer experiences. An aunt has gone thru it, and an uncle is suffering now from cancer.

What has it taught me?? That life can change in an instant, that we have little control over it...but what we can control is how we live life. And I grab life so wholeheartedly now. My outlook on living and life is so bright and hopeful. As sad as the things are that I am going thru....I am SOOOOO thankful to be going thru them. I enjoy each day with a laughter and a joy that at times is almost painful...I appreciate the people around me and always tell them I love them, thank them for being a part of my life...even the silly fellows I meet on pof ;) cause without them I would not be experiencing life.

If I could pass one thing onto people , I can do it in one word.... APPRECIATE!!!! :)
 VanessaInTexas
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 10
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:09:24 PM
Silhouette,
happy life to you. I mean that.. I pray a blessed and abundantly happy life for you.

You have had your share of misfortunes, as well as your family... please know there are a lot of people out here that understands and knows we all need each other for support and uplifting in such emotionally draining and conflicting times...yet, even in them, there is always a saving grace.

Peace be With you.

Vanessa
 VanessaInTexas
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 11
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:23:52 PM
Kpooks,

I read your posting and I felt the pain and agony you , yourself, went through. Cancer devastates so many in its path.
I personally know the time is getting close to where I ll walk the path you did, watching your sibling die. The same person that you grew up with, fought like cats and dogs with, shared so many secrets with from your parents, and have some of your first memories of, this person will suffer badly and the fact there is nothing you can do to take the pain away, almost makes me want to snap in two and hide from this horrible monster with the C beginning its name.

I dread these final days with my sister... but I also cling to them. I'm so scared, it weighs on me like a 1000 pound steel block. I feel so weak and Im not sure where the strength will come, but I know I have find it, and soon.


Reality really hit home hard yesterday, my mother, who is taking care of my sister mainly, called me yesterday. My sister is giving away her her worldy goods. Making sure they go to whomever she wants............my sister is accepting this .... why can't I? She is preparing to die.

I LOVE HER AND I SPENT MANY YEARS NOT TELLING HER.
 Alli_oop
Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 13
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 10/22/2009 4:54:03 PM
I dealt aggressively with a brain tumour age 16-20. Lucky for me it began shrinking after the last op 12 years ago. (holy shmoly time flies).
That's why i have the cane i mention in my profile.
No one close to me has had cancer.
 docmpg29
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/16/2009 1:39:32 PM
I just read all of your postings regarding cancer hitting home,and felt it was absolutely mandatory for me to post my reply to all of you.Your stories touched me deeply, as I am a cancer survivor of almost 3 years now.
I retired from my government job in Jan,2006. Six months later, I was diagnosed with bladder cancer stage 3. It was devastating to me as my older brother had been taking care of my elderly mother,but, finally we had to put her into a nursing home where she died in December, 2006. I never told her that I had cancer, as she was going through kidney failure, and the early stages of dementia. she was the matriarch of our family, and the sweetest, dearest person in the world. Losing her was very hard, and we miss here terribly.
At the time I got sick, I was in a relationship for more than 13 years. In May, 2007, my dearest passed away from liver failure during a transplant procedure. I was devastated and am still trying to come to grips with my losses. I have gone for counseling to deal with issues that have left my depressed at times.
It is now almost 3 years since my surgery in Feb, 2007, and all signs show that my cancer has been in remission after surgery to remove my bladder and prostate.
I am trying to live my life the best I can, but, it has been hard finding people who truly understand what it is to deal with cancer,and try to live life as normally as possible.
My heart goes out to all of you,and I will pray for a better life and future for you all.
Bless you in your struggles, and may your days ahead be filled with great joy, health and happiness.
 Twister239
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 15
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/16/2009 1:53:46 PM
I cant urge people enough to at least consider the results a man by the name Of Rick Simpson has discovered. Something big pharma has know about for years, but cant make any money from.
Rick Simpson has CURED CANCER in 70 % of his clients..cured...GONE !!!

When a person is drowning they will grasp at even straw to try to survive
PLEASE...PLEASE...PLEASE
just check his site out and THEN judge for yourselves.
Watch the videos , read the testomony....research..research..research
Then go save the life of a loved one.

http://phoenixtears.ca/
 docmpg29
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/16/2009 2:40:58 PM
Hello from docmpg29. I have posted many things dealing with cancer and my story.Thank the good lord I am here to talk about what I have been through.I have been in remission from Bladder and Prostate Cancer surgery in Feb,2007.I am progressing well healthwise.
The major effects the cancer has had on me is that I have been left impotent,unable to have full sexual relations with a woman.
Although I have met some women on POF and dated several of them, the issue of sex seems to come up,or if it hasn't been brought up, I have discussed my situation, and they seem to say that the relationship would not work for them. So, immediately I know that sex is the most important thing to many.
I still believe that there are some women who can accept a man for who he is, and not what he can or cannot do in the bedroom. There are many ways to express feelings, emotions, and love if it gets to that point. It is hard for many women to accept this, and this has been a problem which has left me being alone a good deal of the time.
I am very very sorry for your loss,but, you have to pick up the pieces and go on with your life. that is what your late husband would want you to do,and for your health and sanity, it is something you need to do.
 fissionfusion
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 18
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/16/2009 5:13:48 PM
My first MMA cornerman died the day after my first fight due to cancer side effects causing kidney failure in his sleep. He was a remarkable man; he gave everything so I would be fully prepared to win, and I won because he closed up a nasty cut over my left eye, which I proudly sport this day. We had some beers, I thanked him and told him I'd see him during treatment on the weekend.

Last time I saw him.
 CharlieBrown_AR
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 19
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/18/2009 3:26:44 PM
Like some of the other posters stated, one would be hard pressed to NOT know someone in this day and age who has or has had cancer. I can tell you though, you cannot predict how you will take it if you are told you have it yourself.

This past Tuesday my right testicle was removed. I had noticed it seemed larger than normal about three months ago. About two weeks ago, I noticed it to be the size of a goose egg and hard as a rock. I googled " hard swollen testicle", and got a page full of testicular cancer websites. When I looked at the sites, the top symptoms were hard, swollen testicles.

I went to my doc the next day, who referred me to a urologist. He sent me to the hospital for a scrotal ultrasound with orders to report back to him as soon as the test was done. When the scanning instrument hit certain areas, pain shot throught my abdomen. Up until then, I had no pain. After the test, it took about ten minutes to make it back to the urologist's office, the test results were already being faxed in. It was a large tumor. They wanted me to go right back to the hospital for surgery, but it was the last day of
finals, so I talked them into letting me wait the next day.

Like I said earlier, you never know how you will react to something like this until it happens. Everyone I have ever known that had cancer didn't make it. However, I have never known anyone that had testicular cancer either. I always thought if I had found out I had cancer that I would freak out and wouldn't be able to handle it. The only thing I really felt was dread. All the research I did showed it to be curable, but what was I going to have to go through? Had it spread and if so, how far? Dread of the pain I was going to feel and the possibility of chemo or radiation hung like a black cloud in the air. I never got cranky and never got emotional. I won't lie to you though, I did lots of praying the night before surgery.

It was supposed to be an outpatient procedure, but I think a few days stay would have been better. Had it not been for my parents stepping up and taking care of me, I would be in a really big world of hurt. They did keep me overnight, to have CT scans done the next morning.

The urologist called today and told me it was a seminoma; very slow growing, but fast replicating. The CT scan showed negative for any more cancer, but to be safe, I am being scheduled to see an oncologist. I may have to do chemo or radiation as a precaution.

Now the good news: Testicular cancer has a 98 percent cure rate, IF it is caught in time and other than the loss of a testicle, and the ability to reproduce, nothing has changed for me physically.

The bad news: This can happen to ANY man, at ANY age, no matter what his health is. The key to being safe or living through it if you get it is self exams. There are several sights on the web that will show you how to self check. It only takes a few minutes and could save your life.

To the men who read this: go to the sites and read up on it. You never know if it will hit you or not until it actually does.

To the women on here who have men they care about: Tell your guys and tell them to educate themselves about this.

Thanks for reading, good luck and Merry Christmas.
 Twister239
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 20
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/18/2009 7:00:05 PM
Thank you for the heads up Sir !!
I think I might just spend the next few minutes doing the "Al Bundy".
You might have just saved many men alot of problems with your personal post.
I think you deserve a handfull of " Man Cards " for that !!



 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/19/2009 11:55:06 AM
dailystrength.org: It's a great support site for all kinds of issues!

My brother passed away 3 years ago from colon, liver and lymph cancer. He was in the final stages of the final stage, stage IV, before he relented to the pain and even got diagnosed. I was right there with him to the bitter end, through chemo, shaving his head so no more hair could fall out, late-night vomiting, sepsis in the hospital after his colon removal operation, him cathaderized and then decathaderized so he could pee, barely being able to limp into the bathroom next to his hospital bed to do that deed, the fog he drifted in and out of before he finally departed, and am glad I was, but...boy, it was tough. I thought I was strong enough to handle it, but I couldn't. I couldn't handle seeing him in such feeble condition shrinking down to nothing in horrible, agonizing pain, and I internalized how he said the cancer felt--like a thousand knives piercing his mid-section at all times. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't get comfortable. I tried to be strong in his presence, but I broke down and sobbed every time I visited him in the hospital those final days, clearing the tears and drying the eyes before I went up to his room, knowing full-well what I was going to see. My mind didn't want to comprehend what my eyes were seeing.

He passed January 31, and, every holiday, those "pins and needles" sensations, as well as a general coldness, a sense of absence and a sadness, enter my soul and psyche now every holiday. It gets a little better every year, now that I'm making new friends, but the family dynamic has become more fragile, for sure. I don't want to say the wrong thing for fear of upsetting my parents.

I don't feel his presence anymore and it sucks. Feels like my life was cut short too. The biggest, best, most noble part of me died too. We really related to each other intimately well, related to the world in the same way, and he was a much more generous and giving person than I am, which greatly inspired and continues to inspire me to be the same.

What has really helped has been: I am the family videographer, and there are tons of movies from 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago, with him alive and well and having a wonderful time! It's been such a pleasure going back and watching those movies, listening to his soothing voice and his contagious laugh, as I edit the movies and make DVD copies for every family member and friend of his who wants to see them! Pictures are nice to look at, but the sound of his voice is such a Godsend to all our aching, empty hearts.

Whoops, sorry--didn't realize I already posted.

VanessainTexas: Thanks so much for the kind words of support! I too went through that "should I cling harder or should I let go?" phase and it tore me up big time. The answer is this: Cling hard to her until she passes, then try to let go, or at least try to remember HER, not the disease that is taking her. And try to spend more time with God, in your own life and soul, because SHE is there too. Hope this helps.
 Twister239
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 22
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/21/2009 10:54:53 PM
Has anyone dealing with Cancer or have a loved one dealing with serious illnesses
been told of the CB1 and CB2 receptors in the body.
If not , you might want to do a little research on your own.
 Paltalk
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 23
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/22/2009 1:29:53 PM
My grandmother died of lung cancer, she was a heavy smoker. My uncle had bladder cancer who also smoked.

Anyone interested lowering cancer risk should google Budwig diet. It is not well known because the medical community wouldn't any money off it. Dr Budwig is a German biochemist who helped many terminally ill cancer patients into full recovery by simply changing their diet.
 Alli_oop
Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 25
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 12/23/2009 12:57:42 PM
i'm deeply offended by the above post.
 returntosenderplease
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 1/6/2010 8:06:02 PM
THERE IS A PRODUCT GREEN PRODUCT CALLED CGF THAT WILL KILL THE CANCER FAST
 Grouchofan
Joined: 1/4/2010
Msg: 27
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:56:59 PM
My wife Ruth passed away Sept. 29, 2009 from ovarian cancer. It was a 5 1/2 year battle that robbed us of a many things. I'm trying to get on with my life, and heal myself. I'm not happy with support groups and I wasn't happy with hospice care; they seemed to push religion at us every turn.
For those facing cancer now talk to your doctors about the financial costs. The doctors and hospitals do have some leeway--at least when fifnances get really tight.
For caregivers do what you must to keep your own head together as you support your loved one.
For cancer patients please remember you are loved, and let people take care of you. I know there are times you need to be alone, but be careful not to distance yourself too much. Share your feelings, but if you know they are hurtful write them on paper, and decide later if they should be shared.
I'm not sure when I'll actually start dating, but I've been lonely for a long time.
I'm writing a book and screenplay about coping with aterminal illness, if they sell some of the money will go to support cancer patients during treatments.
 wishingwell555
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 28
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 1/10/2010 6:05:41 AM
First, let me say, I am sorry for your Lost.
Cancer is not always a death sentence! There are many people living with different types of Cancer . Treatments very depending on what kind you have, as most people do know! I lost my Dad to Cancer in 2003. It was very sad and upsetting to see him suffer for weeks then die. If Cancer is diagnosed early people can be saved.
Cancer Awareness, early detection is a key to survival.
Support groups are helpful, however, I am very Spiritual and Jesus
helped me through my hardships. Take it to the Lord in prayer!
Being close to a Spiritual church is a Plus! People with compassion can help
you Pray for stength where needed.
 normaldude
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 1/10/2010 6:51:47 AM
after seeing many fantastic people being devastated by this horrible/perplexing disease it always amazes me watching the news and seeing those break-thru medical science announcements. Recently they had a researcher who said due to genetic advancements that within 10 years they would stop cancer. The plan was to turn off whatever type of cancer a person has and stop it from growing. Each treatment would be matched to the unique genetics of the patient. Once the cancer was "turned off" and couldnt spread there wasnt much danger to the patient. I just wish it would become a reality and that average people would have access to it. Many break-thru announcements seem to fade away and we never hear from them again. The other thing is the snake oil salesmen... people are so desperate and will try just about anything when faced with their mortality. Making silly statements that if you eat lots of this or take this herbal thing or rub crystals on it or whatever sounds like such an opportunistic joke. If a cure for cancer was so easy why wouldnt medical science have taken the "cure" and refined it and PROVED it? Because it just doesnt work. If an individual came up with a magic pill and it worked what would that be worth to humanity? No award or price could be calculated. Millions and millions could be saved.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Cancer hitting home?
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:33:36 AM
"if you eat lots of this or take this herbal thing or rub crystals on it or whatever sounds like such an opportunistic joke."

No more opportunistic than BigPharma's chemo scam.

Didjano: Many (chemo) drugs are derived from herbs (trees, tree bark, flower, leaves).
Show ALL Forums  > Health Wellness  > Cancer hitting home?