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 AUTHOR
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 3
Changing your TypePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The men I have dated and married are all over the map. Some were short, some tall, some heavy, some thin, some well-paid professionals, some financially destitute blue collar workers. Different hair colors, eye colors, some very metropolitan, some very countrified. I've dated doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs, literally. Rodeo riders, business owners, a wide variety of religions and I haven't a clue as to birth order.

I don't have a type really. I do like a man who is an alpha male. Not arrogant, but with a quiet confidence. The man in my life is that kind of a man and he is EVERYTHING I have ever hoped to find in a man, and more. He fulfills me completely, and he says I do the same for him.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 10
Changing your Type
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:54:16 AM
I don't have an ideal type. I have been attracted to and dated many different types of women.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 14
Changing your Type
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:54:24 PM
I have a type. I admit it. I seem to be attracted to a certain sort of guy. I am too old to try to change now. *shrug*
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 15
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History
Changing your Type
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:55:47 PM
Initially, I tried to put myself in the "don't have a type" camp; then I thought back over the past 35 years and realized that I do have a "type." althought I've "dated" all hair colors, a variety of body types and heights, and different degrees of education, all the women can be summed up as intelligent / educated (although not always a lot of over lap ) athletes. That's what I am attracted to and it has served me well: once we have established the commonalities of faith, worldview, etc, I am most suited to find happiness with a woman who is at least as active as I am and who is able to communicate effectively over a wide range of topics; further, her intelligence is not static but dynamic and reflects her thirst for knowledge and understanding she doesn't know it all.

TK
{anyone up for a smart game of table tennis}
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 16
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/21/2015 11:04:14 PM
I decided to resurrect this old thread... OP asks an interesting question: has your type changed over time, or do you step out of your type?

Ms. Spotforusername posted in this thread!

I've pretty much always had one, despite the periods of exploration.
My type is... a man with a soul, a thinker... If there isn't much going on in the head and in the heart, I find it difficult to find anything to connect to, even if the physical attraction is there. An honest person. Not someone who takes pride in knowing how to cheat the system.
I tend to be interested in religious believers, even if unconventional. Doesn't have to be a particular religion either, lol.
Someone who is humble.
Not into "bad boys"... those bullied me physically and verbally from kindergarten to high school... I run as far away from them as I can.
I tend to connect with men (and people) who have suffered... had a major loss... they are living in the real world. Not a bubble. They don't think anyone is beneath them for whatever nonexistent reason. They don't wear a facade. They know what truly matters, and what doesn't. That one is crucial.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 11:10:15 AM
I don't believe anyone can DECIDE who or what to be attracted to, but I do think that there are things a person can do if they find that they are being drawn to people who they find aren't a good match for them.

The thing I recommend people try, is to take time and make the effort to figure out in detail, what they are attracted to and why.

Sometimes, what we are drawn to, is something that we only ASSOCIATE with the feature or behavior that we observe. For example, many people who THINK they are attracted to rudeness or selfishness (the 'bad boy' concept in part), are actually not. What they really want, is something else, such as a sense of stability or confidence. Others may be drawn to brutal or violent people, because they associate willingness to commit violent acts, with strength. Some might be attracted to moodiness, because they mistake that for a sense of romance.

Basically, the idea is to figure out what you ACTUALLY EXPECT TO GET from the people you are selecting, and then make sure that is actually THERE. You don't change your "type" in the sense that you start pursuing people you previously weren't attracted to, so much as you come to a better understanding of what your "type" actually looks like.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 18
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 11:17:27 AM
Physically, it's ALWAYS been tall, dark and handsome. I'm just not attracted to blond and pale, at all. Not even blond with a tan. Naturally dark (from olive to black) skin, and black hair is like a magnet for me. I guess the more different from me they look, the better.

As far as behavior, I don't like bad boys either, I like sweet and genuine. However, many "bad boys" pose as sweet and genuine, so it's been hit and miss.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 19
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History
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 11:34:24 AM
I can't say that I have a type, had a 7 year relationship with a tall, busty,l half Egyptian half Scottish girl who never lied, was always good and genuine, wore her heart on her sleeve, and it kills me that I failed her.

Then I met a short, skinny, blonde, white girl who lied constantly, was always doing something F'd up, dishonest and slutty... And it kills me that it took over a year to break away from that relationship.

Other than that, I've had a bunch of nothing relationships.

But yeah, the contrast is amazing. And I owe both girls a debt of gratitude for the lessons in how to be a better significant other.

I should by anecdotal evidence believe that all blondes are evil, and all brunettes are good.

Instead I've learned that I can't discriminate based on looks and background. And that I shouldn't trust what I judge about a personality initially... till about 3 months into getting to know the women.

Because... Talk is cheap when you're feeling right at home. It's who we are when we struggle that defines us.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 21
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:18:43 PM

Has anyone else had the same experience and have found more success in dating someone completely different?


Some differences? Yes. Complete opposite? No.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 22
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:33:39 PM
I don't think I have a type.

My preference would probably be taller than me, broad shoulders, kissable neck (I like necks), beard and hairy chest. At least they are the types I usually look at twice at the beach.

Whilst out sailing yesterday I caught myself admiring one of the other crew.
He reminded me of Anthony Robbins, that really tall fellow who used to do those positive attitude seminars and tapes. Same angular face, big smile, American accent and polite charm, very square shoulders and an easy laugh. No idea about the hairy chest.
At one point we had two very fit young men working the grinder.
Some of us females did suggest they may be more comfortable without their shirts.
They laughed but kept their shirts on.
Before anyone asks--- he was wearing a wedding ring.


Success in dating?
Now is not the right time to ask me that.
Ask me when I have had some.



Oh and I agree my type is male.
Females do not have the same effect on me at all.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 23
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/22/2015 7:13:36 PM

All the women I dated were either the opposite, or the exact opposite to my type.


I've done this...for me, it was sacrificing my own desires for someone else because...I don't know...I thought I was being too picky with my dating pool...


Then I met a short, skinny, blonde, white girl who lied constantly

.........

Either we've dated the same girl, or all blondes ARE evil....-.-


Other than that, I've had a bunch of nothing relationships.


This is me.

I've heard that our "type" is something that we develop in early childhood.

My type? Ahem...well, I guess if I really had a choice I'd choose someone tall (like me) with dark hair. I'm terribly attracted to ladies with darker skin. Something about Italian/Latino/Native American women that just...does it for me. Intelligence is pretty important, just enough that I can tell the lights are on and someone's home. Not asking for Einstein here...

What have I dated? White girls. Varying hair colors. One Italian girl (that I still carry a candle for, I think), and a black girl.

Varying education levels. Though, I did learn that I won't date someone with a higher education than me. Not because they're "more intelligent", but because they're normally in a higher tax bracket than I am and that's not something I want to experience again.


Point is, I guess, that the one time I dated someone with my desired traits, I screwed it up with insecurity. Things were too perfect and I was too young to appreciate my situation.

I haven't changed my type over the years, just found myself giving in on my own standards more and more...
 flamingjune1960
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 24
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/24/2015 12:16:05 PM
[I don't believe anyone can DECIDE who or what to be attracted to, but I do think that there are things a person can do if they find that they are being drawn to people who they find aren't a good match for them.]

I absolutely agree with you on this. I distinctly remember that kind of attraction and it was not a conscious decision. It did however lead to a long term relationship with a lot of passion. Thing is, what I am attracted to is not always good for me. To Igor's point, being able to discern what you really want/need from what is not healthy for you, well that's the hard part, for me anyway. I definately have a type but how can you change who you are attracted to?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 25
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/24/2015 8:58:34 PM
I am here to debunk the myth about being attracted to types like our opposite parent or even the same sex one. The men I am attracted to bear little or no resemblance to any of my close family members whatsoever. Either in looks, profession or personality.

I prefer exotic looking men who have olive complexions, dark eyes, hair does not matter, broad shouldered and masculine. Don't have to be really tall necessarily but husky. Must be taller, bigger than me, but not necessarily more intelligent or more successful financially.

I have never dated Nordic types or even men of my own culture. Not into slim men with pale complexions. I always look twice at men with longer hair, pony tails etc but only if they have a strong neck and shoulders.

Nor can we easily change the types we are attracted to as most of it is subliminal and, sub- conscious. It is called chemistry and why settle for someone that you dont have that with??

Until and unless we need to overcome being drawn to undesirable, addicted, weak or abusive people who harm us in some way. T his requires a lot of insight, soul searching and conscious effort to recognise why and then we can change who we want in our lives.

 PennyAnte
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 26
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/24/2015 9:21:12 PM
This is an oldie but goodie back in 2009..

I have a type. I like men that are very tall and apparently they like me too.
 Rapunzel2016
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 27
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/25/2015 3:06:50 PM

I like men that are very tall


I used to think short men were cute.
But it seemed that each one was mean & then progressively meaner.

So I agree, tall men overall are nicer. The world has been kinder to them.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 28
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/25/2015 3:51:44 PM
I have been attracted to shorter men but they were all well built and yes they can very assertive as they probably have had to be, in life. One reason I would not have children with a shorter man is that I wouldn't want to run the risk of having shorter sons. I am only just a bit less than average in height at 5'4."

Life is generally kinder to taller men and of course if they are attractive and intelligent, the world can be their oyster. Some short men may refute this but it is statistically proven that shorter men in general earn less. Have less choice with partners etc. They say that blonde women earn a bit more too so throw a bottle of bleach over your hair girls if that is all it takes lol.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 29
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/25/2015 7:33:01 PM
Blonde women earn a bit more than brunettes?
Thank goodness for that.

Our Gender Equality Agency has just release it's 2015 figures.
In Australia a woman earns $27,000 a year less than men (Average full time earnings)
This is across the board.

I recently gave a talk at a conference and the pay gap in my industry (Science and Technology) is second only to Accounting and Finance.
In my industry a woman needs to work an extra 101 days to earn the same as a man earns in a year.
Both working full time. Both with tertiary qualifications.


Maybe I should start hunting down those sexy rich accountants?

Source of information:
https://www.wgea.gov.au/media-releases/men-out-earn-women-27000-year-new-data
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 30
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/26/2015 7:36:46 AM

I used to think short men were cute.
But it seemed that each one was mean & then progressively meaner.

So I agree, tall men overall are nicer. The world has been kinder to them.


I know plenty of tall men that are mean jerks as well. But unlike short men, it's not attributed to their height.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 31
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/26/2015 8:05:20 AM


In my industry a woman needs to work an extra 101 days to earn the same as a man earns in a year.


Would you trade a few years of life expectancy for a raise now?
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 32
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/26/2015 9:46:48 AM

sexy ... accountants


Two words not often seen in the same sentence.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 33
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/27/2015 8:11:55 AM

Would you trade a few years of life expectancy for a raise now?


In a New York minute.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 34
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Changing your Type
Posted: 11/30/2015 3:12:50 PM
These threads often seem to suggest that the key to happiness is having what you don't want and are not attracted to as an exercise in character building or eating the same food you don't like until you like it or something like that,this may work for the younger folks who can afford to waste some time but after you get some miles and years on you you know or should know what you want and be confident in yourself to pursue it without any apologies....and also willing to be alone with a decent attitude if you cant find it.
 CheezePissa
Joined: 11/25/2015
Msg: 35
Changing your Type
Posted: 11/30/2015 7:48:38 PM
I could never do Chicago style pizza. Too much stuff. Too many ingredients. Too much cheese.

Nope. Simple crust. Lean and mean. A delicate sauce, but it takes mastery to take it there. And the dough is thin and rather crisp. Top quality cheese. I prefer a wood oven and cooked at super high temperatures, but I can handle it when cook in your average pizza place oven. In the end, it's all about the dough.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 36
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Changing your Type
Posted: 12/3/2015 11:03:12 PM
I don't think most men have a type. They'll tell you that they like blonde babes, and then an Asian woman walks by and they get aroused. I've never had a type beyond women that are around the same size as me. I'm not really into people that smoke or go to bars all the time, so I guess that's a type too.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 37
Changing your Type
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:06:16 AM
When browsing profiles a few days ago, I came across this guy who made my neck snap. His face was mesmerizing, totally my type, couldn't stop looking at it. His facial features look so much like someone I used to be crazy about. My hormones just surged when I looked at his pictures. So yes, I most definitely have a type, I can't just turn it off. Sadly, I don't think I'm his - he looked at my profile but never messaged me :-(.
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