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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How Important is Sex in a Relationship????      Home login  
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 cdeluca0331
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 1
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Well obviously this is a never ending dilemna. On scale of 1 thru 10 how important is sex in a relationship???

We can all sugar coat it and say it really does not matter...but in reality it does..

What is your take on this>>>>

Sheesh I hope this does not get deleted off the thread...just kidding...
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 2
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:10:03 PM
Sexual compatibity is very important to a relationship. That doesn't mean that every relationship needs to be extremely sexual. Some couples are perfectly content to seldom, if ever, have sex. As long as you and your partner are on the same wave length as far as frequency, sexual acts to be performed, what is and isn't off limits, monogamy vs. polyamory , etc., or are willing to compromise, you shouldn't have any problems in that area.

My man and I are extremely open with each other as to our preferences and, fortunately, we are very much in sync in our desires. To us, it is imperative to our relationship being a success and it's a definite '10'.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:31:10 PM
It's about an 11 for me. Don't get me wrong, it's not the only thing, but it's up there. I only agree to get involved for the consistent supply of it (unless it comes with drama and hassle).
 brendantime
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 4
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:36:14 PM
How important? Very. It's the easiest part. If you can't get that right then theres something wrong.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 5
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:05:22 AM
I'll also jump in with the sexual "compatibility" is absolutely critical crowd. If one partner wants sex 6x a week, and the other is comfortable with every other month, then the relationship is destined to be a disaster. Also, as the one poster stated, sexual desires also need to be aligned. If one partner is "missionary only" and only then with the lights off; and the other needs leather, scented oils, and a crowd, it simply isn't going to work.
But I mean I really hate it when I read "oh the sex HAS to be good or it doesn't work!" and to me I just kind of laugh at that. If your relationship was anything worthwhile you wouldn't even have to have sex to be in one.
Don't you LOVE the sage advice, and wisdom, espoused by a NINETEEN YEAR OLD!!!! Dude, note that people (including myself) who are answering this question have been in relationships that are longer than your entire lifespan. I came of rough on you; but trust me on this one guy, you haven't even begun to understand the intricacies, importance, and encompassing nature, of sex. The ONLY times your statement are correct are: 1/if you are asexual (and I sincerely hope you are not, because sex can bring so much joy into your life); and 2/In the event, in a committed relationship, where due to health, or physical reasons, one partner is no longer physically able to engage in sexual activity. In a case like that, I would agree, that you can indeed have a fulfilling relationship without sex. However, if both partners are healthy, then sex is absolutely critical. I give sexual compatiblity a solid 10.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 6
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:41:04 AM
For me it's quite important,about a 9. I've got a high sex drive. My girlfriend and I don't have sex quite as much as I'd like,what with a child in the house and different schedules,but we still get to it as much as possible. I've been in a couple of relationships where sex was almost non-existant,and the women were quite surprised when I ended it over that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:29:15 AM

Sex on tap is about 50% of the reason why I'd consider a relationship with someone.

I always say constant supply, but I like this phrase.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 8
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 11:41:36 AM
Sex is overrated, Making Love is where it's at, !
..& if you still doing sex, then no-one is really *into* a relationship

~sc~
 Yankee again
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 9
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:40:14 PM
9.9 personality helps............LOL
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 10
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 4:28:05 PM
if the sex or if a couple do not have the same sex drive the relationship is no more than at most a friendship, so i would give it a 10, like honesty, compatibility there 10's also
 newblue1970
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 11
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/23/2009 7:36:14 PM
Alv2.0

I think I'm a food-aholic. If I'm not eating, I'm either thinking of what to cook, or cooking. It's seriously a huge distraction. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I call people like you 'foodies'. Replace 'food' with 'sex' in your statement, and thats me! A GF of mine loved sex and was quite horny, but her first love was food... and I never understood that. Good food vs orgasm... how can they even compare??

OT - Sex is NOT everything in a relationship, but it most definitely is SOMETHING. If its good it wont make a relationship work, but if its bad it will most likely destroy it. For those of us who are 35+ and have have a variety of past relationships, I think sexual compatibility (whether you want a lot or a little) is very important. We've all had some bad relationships and now know more of that we want out of one. We might not be looking for marriage, probably arent looking to start a family so why would we settle for someone that isnt in tune with us in many (all?) ways - including sex?
 april *
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 12
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:30:55 AM
very important.
 cdeluca0331
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:48:57 PM
Mirabelle13

I couldn't agree with you more....thank you..
 callmesexy39
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 15
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:28:44 PM
here's the down low....no sex = friendship, meaningless sex = friend with a benefit and they go home OR just getting by, meaningful sex (or making love, whichever you prefer) = relationship-possible marriage, and divorce = lets try this again with someone younger shall we? (midlife crisis) LOL

I will not rate sex in a relationship, without a total compatibility with one another, it's just casual and now you have a live in friend with a benefit. If you can't put in 100%, you're not going to get anything. All you're going to get is a swift kick out the bedroom. And that term you use with your friends "I'm in the doghouse again, we're fighting" will eventually be permanent. And they'll be with someone that can stimulate them emotionally and physically. This really is a stupid topic though. In all honesty, if you're so into sex that much, become a porn star. At least you'll enjoy your profession. And you will not be posting these stupid posts anymore.
 callmesexy39
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 16
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:53:20 PM
The better question would be. Would you ask your partner in the relationship after sex Or made love and say "on the scale of 1-10, was I exactly what you expected in bed??!" and would you be comfortable if they were honest and said "you were excellent, BUT this (so and so) needs work". Yeah I can bet you that would definitely put a damper on your sexual ego now would it? Woman or man, if your partner was bluntly honest, your ego would be shot down. And for those that will say. Hey if they don't like it, there is always their friends. You'll NEVER get it. You'll die lonely fool.
 Andraya
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 17
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/28/2009 7:32:56 PM
It's a 10 for me. Total deal breaker. Either I am getting it how I like it or I walk. After living in a sexless relationship for two years there is no way I will ever live with bad, or no, sex again. Period.
 jmim
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 18
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:46:15 PM
You know what a relationship without sex is called?
FRIENDSHIP!!!
Enough Said.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 19
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:53:18 PM
Firstly, A Relationship Of Substance , the act evolves into 'Making Love'
Secondly, The act goes beyond the physical act when you in the Right Relationship for you lifetime
Thirdly, Intimacey Is Essential to relate sensually, sexually, even spiritually to a partner

Consider these 3 for your lifetime...
~sc~
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 20
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/31/2009 4:05:48 PM
For me, knowing that my partner wants me is the ultimate life turn on.
She does not have to be a "great" lover. But if she wants to experience physical intimacy with me over and over, together with the other positives of a good relationship.....Listening, laughing together, comforting each other.....it is the ultimate icing on the cake. Knowing that she cares about our mutual physical happiness allows me to feel loved. Nothing can bring that extreme closeness the way makaing love can.

So, yes, it is a "10"
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 21
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/31/2009 8:17:26 PM
I gotta have GREAT sex on regular basis.

But.......................

That's my strong sex drive. :)
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 22
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 5/31/2009 8:17:34 PM
I gotta have GREAT sex on regular basis.

But.......................

That's my strong sex drive. :)
 GentleFunOne
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 23
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 1/6/2010 11:41:07 AM

How Important is Sex in a Relationship????

If sexual desire and sexual activity is the core of a relationship, then that relationship is inherently unstable. Desire will naturally wax with a new lover, then wane with familiarity, obligation, commitment and reality. Quite honestly, an affair outside the committed relationship will always be more fun -- because it is frivilous, new and exciting. It is inherently unfair to make marriage or any committed relationship compete with the sexual excitement and firivilous fun on uncommitted sex. It is simply balderdash to argue that people will seek sex outside of a committed relationship only if something is wrong in the relationship. Sex is inherently a choice -- NOT a need. Food, shelter, clothing and even love are human needs. Sex is a choice. One can decide that a committed relationship is important to their happiness, fullfillment, and is a responsiblity -- so that they choose fidelity. But sex would still only be a minor part of that loving relationship. Consider: no one nurses a spouse through cancer because of sex, no one sacrifices their life for a loved one because of sex. In fact, people eschew sexual desire because of love. Natural attraction to others will occur, but love is about the sacrifice of not pursuing that attraction in hopes of a sexual encounter. Thus, love is about the committment that remains, when sexual desire wanes.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 24
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/4/2013 2:33:14 PM

(Msg #1. Cdeluca0331) On scale of 1 thru 10 how important is sex in a relationship???


Sex is vital to a romantic relationship. It’s not uncommon to hear one say their partner’s habit drives them nuts. The truth is the person had that habit when they met but it never bothered the other individual before. What has changed? Invariably, the sex decreased.

When two people engage in sex it releases hormones. Something physical and measurable happens. Just as any chemical will affect our brain/thinking the same thing happens when chemicals are released during sex.

Some people look at sex as the “icing on the cake”. It’s not the icing. It’s not even the cake. It’s the basic nutritional food required by romantic relationships.

Anyone who has observed body language knows if a person is uncomfortable talking with another they will unconsciously pull their arms closer to their body. If they are wearing a sweater or jacket that opens down the front they will pull the two sides together. In other words they are covering their body for protection. It’s automatic, like a fight or flight response. When engaged in sex we are exposing our body to our partner, the opposite of the above. Our subconscious picks up on that, an evolutionary trait passed down through the ages.

When young couples get married and ask for advice, any tips, I always tell them the same thing. Keep a little pocket sized calendar in the night stand by your bed and checkmark the days/nights you have sex. When you have your first big argument, when you notice your partner is not as loving and attentive and helpful and it seems like they’re drifting away look at the calendar you have by your bed. I guarantee you will see the correlation between those events and the frequency of sex.

Many commonly believe sex wanes due to problems but they have the cause and effect reversed. The waning of sex is what leads to problems. The hormones produced by sex along with just being exposed to your partner affects ones thinking and actions.

Unfortunately, our society has denigrated and ridiculed sex. We’ve made a joke of it. It’s used to sell everything from cars to vacations. On the other hand any serious talk about sex is deemed dirty and we’re witnessing the results in broken marriages/relationships.

Sex is the easiest thing to do to ensure a successful relationship and it has little to do with being "in the mood". When it comes to doing things for ones partner/the relationship I often wonder what mood those folks feel when they clean the bathroom or make supper or do the laundry or wash the dishes/load the dishwasher or clean the snow off their partner's car or cut the lawn or ...... Does anyone ever say, "Wow, I'm in the mood to clean the bathroom! People do all kinds of things for their partner/the relationship but tend to forget the most important one, sex.

Anyone who doesn't believe in the importance of sex I suggest doing a little experiment. If one is in a relationship that is starting to falter set out a reasonable schedule for one month. Whether it's once a day or a couple of times a week follow the schedule for a month and see what happens. Nothing to lose and it is easier than cleaning the bathroom.
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 25
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:15:10 PM
not too important...if she doesn't put out just end the relationship...unless her daddy is wealthy and she may inherit millions then you might want to keep her around like old luggage
 chris10712567
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 26
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How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 4/6/2013 10:47:53 AM
to a guy it is important,a girl maybe.
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