|The Amazing non-date...Page 1 of 1 |
|So... First off, congrats on having a great time with a cool woman. I've had a couple of days like that, and can't wait for the next one!|
Now - What not to do. No heart-to-heart conversations about how you think you might be falling in love with her, think she's your soulmate, and wonder if she likes you.
It sounds like she had fun... I heard somewhere that women like fun! So if I were you, I'd ask her out again to something fun. Maybe a concert, comedy club, etc. There's nothing quite like laughing together to build a strong connection.
"The ball's in her court" someone said. Well, it probably is, because you probably missed a chance to gently escalate things. Get in there and take that ball back!
"She'll let you know if she is interested" someone said. Hmm... If an adult woman in a bikini is jumping on my back? I'm taking that as a very clear sign of interest! Maybe that's just me and my ego, but I definitely wouldn't let that pass without some serious teasing, maybe a little wrestling... The sexual tension would be building. It sounds like you kindof sat back and quietly admired her, and maybe faltered in the path forward, but that doesn't mean you need to give up (or sit back and wait for the "pseudo bf" to give her his best shot, or for her to get tired of waiting for you to grab the ring, and meet someone else.)
Ask her out to a comedy club, and take her to dinner after. Pay for the meal, just in case there's any confusion in her mind about whether this is another "non-date" - lol
At dinner, brush her hand and... Take it from there. Baby steps, but keep moving forward! "The friends zone" is a trap we fall into when we stop moving forward and she basically gets bored with the lack of progress. You may be hanging over the trap by a fraying vine, but it sounds to me like you've still got a decent shot of MacGuyvering a way out. Take the shot! Fortune favors the bold!
Just keep in mind that you value your friendship with this woman, and you have to work with her - If she's worth the risk, great (imo - I know some refuse to date anyone from work, but I've dated five or so and lived to tell - lol). Don't do anything premature like professing your love or trying to suck her tongue out of her head before she's ready for that step, and focus on having fun while you are together.
Best of luck! By all means drop back in and let us know how it goes!
|The Amazing non-date...|
Posted: 5/26/2009 3:52:51 PM
|Sounds to me like you had a good chance but are now falling into the "friend zone" like you say, but it's been a short enough time that I think you can pull yourself back out, but you need to be willing to risk losing the friendship if you want to get more. Tell her right away how you feel, maybe it will work and maybe it won't, but it's your only chance.|
|The Amazing non-date...|
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:07:11 PM
|If the "pseudo boyfriend" is back in the picture, doesn't that imply that he was out of the picture at some point? Like maybe when she went to the lake with you OP?? Like Lobo said, if an adult woman in a bikini is jumping on my back, well, you don't need a secret decoder ring to figure out that she was likely interested, especially since it sounds like she was available at that point. Once she got your attention though, you started over thinking the whole thing, and you ended up putting yourself in the friends zone, in my opinion. Now I give you kudos for restraining yourself, given that you already have a friendly relationship with this woman, not to mention a professional one as well. I'm usually one to err on the side of caution too when it comes to getting involved with someone at work, but in this case, as long as you don't work directly together on a daily basis, it might be OK. See what happens with this BF, and if the opportunity presents itself and he is once more out of the picture, ask her out on the boat again, and if she behaves the same way, act naturally and go for it. At the very least, talk to her about it in that case.|