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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I'm not attracted to you      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 2
I'm not attracted to youPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
he's just being honest with you..

It seems like your self confidence is a little low if you let someone not being attracted to you bother you this much. Would you have preferred he just stop talking to you and leave you on the hook trying to figure out whats wrong instead?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 7:32:44 AM
I agree that he probably was attracted to you, but wanted to get the last word in when he found out he had nothing to lose - and if you weren't attracted to him anyway, there's no reason why you should feel it's personal or about self esteem (which I suspect was his intention). Unless he goes around dating women he's not into while searching on a dating site - in that case, I'm at a loss.

I've said I wasn't attracted to someone when I wasn't and they asked me if I was. I won't lie about it if asked straight out. I tend to assume they know if I am not trying real hard to make future plans that I'm not really into it, but will certainly clear things up if they need a direct answer.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 9
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 8:04:52 AM
I don't see the problem, you didn't find him 'attractive', either. You ARE atractive, but HIM being attracted to you (although the same word) means something else. Sometimes you can see a total hottie and still not like him.

I know, weird, huh? Whoever figures out THAT mystery will make a ton of money.

Unless it's a scientist, then s/he will merely be mentioned in a paper, and the pharma company will make trillions off the product.
 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 10
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 8:18:10 AM
heres my question. whyyyyyy didddd youuuu meet him, if you weren't attracted to him. i don't get it. maybe you or one of these "ladies" can explain it to me.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 13
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History
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 9:02:33 AM
Well OP - just as you are not attracted to every man you see - not every man who meets you will be attracted. In this case though, I think that's beside the point. I agree that after you turned him down for a second date, he understood that meant there would BE no second date - without you coming right out and saying so. Thus, he decided to "break off" with you, to save his own ego. The whole thing's pretty funny - because now your ego is bruised! You have to grow a thicker skin to do the internet thing.
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 19
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 10:14:09 AM
women ask for upfront and honest..they get upfront and honest and they don't like it..

But when a guy lies to them they call it an excuse and proclaim on the soapbox how they wished he could have just been honest with them..

Make up your darn minds.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 11:24:29 AM
heres my question. whyyyyyy didddd youuuu meet him, if you weren't attracted to him. i don't get it. maybe you or one of these "ladies" can explain it to me.

I only meet men I think I might be attracted to. There is no way to tell whether or not I actually will be until I am face to face. Therefore meeting a man I find attractive is not possible if I've never met him.

Sometimes it's his personality, sometimes he's just not my type, but either way - it cannot be determined sometimes even with webcam.

women ask for upfront and honest..they get upfront and honest and they don't like it..

I missed the part where she asked this guy anything. Sounds like he volunteered the information as a kneejerk to being turned down. Granted, I don't think lack of attraction is personal anyway, it happens to us all, however the way he did it I am sure was meant to hurt feelings.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 23
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:11:14 PM
sounds like he was mad you turned him down... kinda like dumping someone you know is going to dump you.... just to beat them to the point.... no loss...
 Mister Logic
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 24
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:12:48 PM

Sometimes you can see a total hottie and still not like him.
I know, weird, huh? Whoever figures out THAT mystery will make a ton of money.

His name is David DeAngelo, and he DOES seem to be making quite a bit of dough!
(Just Google his name for more info.)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 25
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:16:36 PM
Oh, clever guy. :)

He emailed you and asked you out THAT night, but you told him you couldn't. He sensed you weren't that into him, so he threw that out there to make sure, you rejected him...

... so he came back with "I'm not attracted to you", along with trying-to-be-nice-sentiments that he should have told you the other day.

You fell for it! Your confidence should not be shaken. He finds you attractive, but he's ticked that you aren't into him, so that's his revenge. It's his way of saying "Your loss! You're not attractive anyway".
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:47:16 PM

The only reason I care is because I have another date tonigth and my confidence is shaken a bit...


Still puzzles me how men take rejection after rejection after rejection rather well and women in general don't.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 29
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 4:16:28 PM

Is this a pretty mean thing to say to someone, or am I being too sensitive?


I think you are.

This case sure sounds like sour grapes to me, but the problem in general is that the phrase "I'm not attracted to you" always seems to leave the target of such a comment thinking that other people think they're ugly, which is not the case.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 30
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/29/2009 4:54:14 PM
You should never gage your attractiveness on someone else's opinion.
Or see yourself thru another.
I mean obviously if I'm attracted to a girl it's nice if she is attracted to me.
But if she isn't, doesn't mean I'm not attractive.
Just means I'm not attractive to her.

You should never date if your self worth is tied to dating and who you may meet.

The guy in question was in the wrong.
His ego was hurt and shouldn't have been.
You too should not have been affected by this exchange.

Good luck on your next date OP.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 31
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/30/2009 12:13:41 AM
Yes; if some guy you barely knows can shake your confidence that much then you are in trouble.

You are not going to look good to everyone; its called being rejected; we all have been rejected; it happens.

You dust yourself off and move on. Not a big thing.
 boats1
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 32
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History
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/30/2009 10:14:49 AM
Hey there Tracy, well i have been reading your forum and its really sad that the person you where meeting could even say few words, even if he was not attracted to you at least make you welcome and appreciate that you went out of your way to try and meet up with him, you know some thing Tracy" that no matter how good looking or not so good looking a person is its respect that really is important, here and he made that clear to you and had no respect for you and i am sure he treats other women the same way, so don't worry about him or men like him, just don't ever change who you are to make men happy enjoy your life and what you have around you, take care have a wonderful day.

My name is Lucca, i am Italian born, from Melbourne Australia, your friendship is very welcome. bye bye.....................
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 33
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History
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/30/2009 7:50:13 PM

a nice guy, not really my type


haha, not the first time "nice guy" and "not my type" were uttered in the same sentence. i'm glad i'm a total prick. Just kidding, or am I?
 Imursoulmate
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 34
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 5/31/2009 11:32:14 AM
move on all ready O.P...IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS BOTHERS you
then whats going to happen when you get rejected by someone who you
think is attractive?????life live it.
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 35
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:10:00 AM
why are you people giving her atagirls?
she hurt him he hurt her back, nuf said.
it would be nice to live in a world without hurt, but I tend not to feel sorry for hurting someone and got hurt in the process.
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 37
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:36:21 AM
If there is no attraction there is no FIRST date.
now if the guy lied about who he was thats different.
oh and the nice responce is to not reject the poor schmuch after one date(unless he was giving off the rapist serial killer vibe)
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 39
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 4:07:25 AM
Well when i was in the DATING pool I was much kinder than that, and I would give more than one date to make up my mind.
like I said if there was no attraction I would not waste the girls time because I did not want that done to me, and seeing their photos, and talking on the phone before the date helps greatly to know if the person if your type.

and PS: glad you liked my profile lol.
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 43
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:31:51 AM

didn't say "no" I said that I already had plans for that night (which I did - but that's in a whole other thread-lol).

And sbm4fun, I did get my 'just desserts' because the guy I went out with after that wasn't interested in me and treated me like $hit...

For the record, I might have gone out with this guy again - on another day - just to see if maybe there was something there chemsitry wise....

yah thats why those who seek LTR should date one at a time, but hey if you just want friends of fwb then there are no rules he might have treated you like a queen on the next date, but you'll never know that now.

or he could be a **stard like everybody here seems to think, but again you'll never know.

I have a cousin in detroit who posted sex vids on the net of his ex online after she broke up with him for a guy with a better job and emailed some to her mother, but this is also the same guy who took a bullet for her when someone broke into her apartment 3 years ago. and watched her kids and fixed her car time after time, but after she lost 60LBS he was nolonger good enough for her.
I say that to say how someone acts when they are with you is often different that how they are if you hurt them.
my cousin is like me in some regards" either your best friend or worst enemy"
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 45
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:47:37 AM
how does that not mean he would not have treated you nice?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 46
I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:48:45 AM

I dunno about that...he wanted me to come over to his apartment to "watch TV"


What was he, in high school?
 sbm4fun
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 48
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:35:15 PM
so much for good relationships after 30.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 50
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I'm not attracted to you
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:07:11 PM
Don't be shaken, you're cute and from what I've read smart. You have every right to be confident. Besides, you have another date tonight. Sounds to me that lots of guys think you're worthwhile. He was just angry because, you told him no. Some guys are childish like that.
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