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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ex's cant be friends? why?      Home login  
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 1
Ex's cant be friends? why?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
After two years of giving him everything, a place to live, money, rides, all the love in my heart, he turned out to be someone one completely different. I thought in the beginning that everything would be amazing, and it was, but only for the first 6 months.

He cheated on me, he slept with 4 girls behind my back, not to mention he let this girl Katy give you a hand job within the first month of our relationship. (who was a minor)

I left him. I didn't want to be with him after almost 2 years because I was no longer in love with him. Yes I will love him till the day i die. but I never want to get back with him. It makes me sick that he went and slept a bunch of minors just so he could be "cool." I mean come on this one was only 16.

He lied constantly and he has no life, besides drinking, partying and acting like an immature ass hole. If he wants to keep talking shit then he can go ahead and do that. but I'm a bigger person then that.

I'm better then that, and I deserve better then you. I don't say things about him that aren't true, and honestly he would be surprised what our mutual friends really think about him

I never intentionally hurt him. He would always call me a whore, but he slept with this girl Danae Gothiare in a Park more then once, while he were living with me free of charge! No rent, I for everything for him, and yet when asked to do a few things and he left because he didnt want to face life. and never once did i get a thank you. he owes me money, I will probably never that see again

It just makes me sick and disappointed that he is like this. i honestly do not want anything to do with him. i wish the best him and I hope that everything in his life works out and that he make something of himself, but truthfully, my life is so much better, happier, and full of excitement since I left him, yet he is such an ass hole to me.

The reason I'm posting this bulletin is because I dont understand why guys have this like unwritten rule that the cant be friends with their ex's. I mean I feel like i lost a best friend. And why do guys have to say hurtful things like, "it was a complete mistake and waste of my time" or "I ****ing hate you" even though you know it wasnt and you know they dont. I understand being hurt, it hurt me just as much to leave him. But I'm tired of being stepped on. i know that I'm a great girl, and I dont want him damaging all my good qualities, I want a man who charish my qualities not takes advantage of them.
What do I do? How do i get him to stop randomly texting me, telling me he hates me, and trying to rip me and our mutual friends apart by telling them lies.


-Miss V
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 2
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:34:54 PM
Why the hell would you want to be friends with this guy???? Just leave it alone. Walk away. Stop communicating with him. Don't respond to his bs. It will go away b/c he's just craving attention.
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 3
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/7/2009 4:58:27 AM
Jesus Christ. With and X like that who needs enimies??? Get some slef esteem, woman up and meet someone worth your time. It sounds like he is a child...good grief. I know I have had a couple douche bags come into my life, but I flushed them down the toilet before it ever got that bad. Do not even keep this jerk wad in your life!!! I can understand if you were with him a very short time and found stuff out, but to keep anyone around who is a complete ***hole, makes me really question you. He will only damage what you ALLOW him to damage. Change your number, tell him to get some change and buy a clue. There is NO friendship there and should be NO communication. If your so called "friends" believe him over you, they can have him and he can have them. You do not need Barnum and Baily's Circus going on in your life. If you want that, go see if for a weekend and then go home. Don't live it!!!
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 4
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/7/2009 10:32:31 AM
There's many reasons why you can't be friends with an ex -- as long as you are still in love with them. If you have moved on with someone new and no longer are IN LOVE with your ex, you can be friends, but the question is really: "Why?!"

If you are still in love with an ex who dumped you and THEY want to be friends?
1. They want to relieve their guilt.
2. They want to keep you as an alternative if someone new doesn't work out.
3. You provide some need (emotional or physical) they aren't receiving now. When they get it from someone new they won't desire your friendship anymore.

If you are still in love with an ex who dumped you and YOU want to be friends?
1. You're still hanging on to hope of reconciliation. This is very bad as you will NEVER move on with your life and meet someone new.
2. They meet some emotional or physical need you can not (or will not) provide for yourself (this is called being needy and clingy!!).

These are just some of the reasons. I ask again: "Why?!"
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 5
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Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/7/2009 10:46:20 AM
As far as being friends.... why would you want to? As for him not wanting to, I'd just about lay money on it that he feels guilty and knows what he did was wrong so instead of owning up to what he did it is easier for him to attack you and make you look like crap (that way the spotlight is off of him around your mutual friends).

If your mutual friends are true friends, they will see though his crap. If they take sides then they aren't true friends.

Next time he texts you, politely ask him to stop. If he does it again, file a harassment report with the police. Other options are changing your number or blocking his number from contacting you.

I went through something similar. I just kept my mouth shut (and I will admit it was hard not to jump and defend myself). When friends/family would ask me about something I just gave simple answers with very little detail. After all the chaos died down they seen what the truth really was and complimented me for keeping my cool.

Good luck!
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 6
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/7/2009 10:04:14 PM
He doesn't deserve your friendship! He cheated on, and lied to you more then once. If he slept with a sixteen year old that makes him a criminal. I remember when I was in high school. I was going out with this chick, I find out she cheated on me. I was young, so I took her back and she cheated on me again. After we broke up...she was dating someone else...One day I went to her house, and guess what she cheated on the other dude with me. It just goes to show once a cheater always a cheater. I haven't talked to her in years. I don't mean I won't talk to her but, I won't go out of my way to see her.
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 7
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/8/2009 6:50:04 AM
He was NO friend!!!!

Why would you want to be friends with an A$$hole like him? From what you describe he sounds like a narcissist (a using, controlling, abusive, emotion sucking ,viper) look up NPD = Narcissist Personality Disorder... after reading that personality trait you will be only too HAPPY that you have no contact with him. Ignore his contacts as he uses it to antagonize you.. "push-pull" is the name of the game with these vampires.

Dont look back and find healthy friends! HE was NO friend!

Take it from someone who's been there, done that!
 *Lucky Libra*
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 8
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:05:58 PM
Sounds to me like he's missing his well, since the water ran dry. He had it too good, free room and board, food, gets drunk when he wants. You get sick of his s***, and kicked him to the curb, of course he's mad. Not at you but himself! Honey, you're a beautiful girl and keep looking for someone who will love you and add to your life, not take away from it.
As far as the ramdom texts, trying to rip your mutual friends away from you....
1.)Change your phone number.
2.)Consider getting new friends. If they feed into,and believe his lies that lets you know they are not good friends to begin with. If your friends know he is a jerk then when he starts running off at the mouth about you, they should know that he's full of s*** anyway!

Let Go....You will feel better in the long run...
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 9
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:33:31 PM
I understand how you feel But you have to remember once you make love to someone you can never go back. The friendship thing went out the window. Next if this guy is the as..ole he sounds like why would you even consider it. Life has more to offer and more worthy people. Just remember people are in your past for a reason and they wont make your future, so keep your head up and look toward your future. Leave the past where his broke lieing cheating ass is in the past. PEACE
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 10
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Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:58:46 PM
Why? Because they tend to go from being exes back to being currents.
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 11
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/18/2009 10:12:59 PM
I went through a somewhat similar situation. Except I got walked on. I am friends with the person. I finally realized with certain things that she seemed to actively try to hurt me by telling me things about her new bf doing things better than me, but not being true becasue I talk to her bro and he tells me the truth. All I can say is that if you really want to be friends with him, just dont let what he says hurt you anymore. You seem like a great person and you cant let him bring you down. My ex made me question who I am and the kind of person I am and almost turned me into and ahole becasue Im always told Im too nice. Dont let him hurt you. I know its easier said than done. But theres no way to make him stop if you still want to be his friend.
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 12
Ex's cant be friends? why?
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:25:28 PM


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