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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the      Home login  
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 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 1
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Dating a single mother requires extra work by the man:

1) man must be willing to see the woman less because she has so many additional responsibilites
2) man will probably have less sex while dating a single mother because she cant stay at his house all the time
3) dating the woman will cost more because we have to pay for dinner and activities that will also include the child
4) man will have to do activities focused on the child such as playing games, going to amusement parks, and other child activities instead of doing usual adult activities.

All of these activities require additional work by the man.

How do you as a single mother compensate for this additional work ? Do you think you should compensate ?

[Please note this is a serious question - dating a single mother is a lot of additional work. I am wondering how single mothers acknowledge this and compensate for it]
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2
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Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:51:37 AM
I have come to the conclusion that you should just stay away from single moms.

I don't expect anyone to pay for anything that pertains my kids.
If you get less sex dating a single mom than you did when you weren't dating anyone you should probably stay single
Men aren't required to pay for their gf's kids
If its a hardship to hang out with the most important people in your gfs life then you aren't meant to be with the gf.

Men should quit whining and find someone who doesn't require all this extra effort. If a man feels the need to complain about the effort required to date any person...he isn't worth dating.

How would you like us single mothers to compensate Mike? Should we put our kids up for adoption or lock them in the basement to make you happy? Or would you prefer an extra blow job in the backseat to make up for your hardship of lack of sex?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 3
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Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:57:11 AM
I date. My kids do not.
No man is under any obligation to purchase anything, pay for anything or even meet my kids. As far as the sex goes, he can either date other people or take care of the problem himself.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 4
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:58:00 AM
ilikeitsimple,

You essentially proved my point. You want us to do/accept all the extra work and you are willing to do nothing to compensate. Your response is not reasonable. A man will simply seek out another woman who is less work.

You could cook him dinner more frequently. You could set up time for sex late at night after kids are in bed or at lunch when kids are at school. I would suggest you do something else why would he date you instead of someone else ?
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 5
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:59:58 AM
carolann0308,

Your comments are very self-centered. You did not suggest anyway to compensate for the extra work provided by your men. That is incredible to me. Your sense of entitlement is shocking.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 6
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:01:56 AM
I've seen a lot of narrow minded, shallow threads in my day - but this one takes the cake. I hope this thread is not deleted so every woman you contact can see what a shitstain you are OP. I suggest you seek out women who cannot read.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 7
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:03:45 AM
Oh, I see this is a phantom profile. Guess you're a coward too. Figures.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 8
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:04:17 AM
justwant2no,

You provided another example of entitlement. You are not entitled to a man. You are not entitled to love, sex, attention, money or caring. It is all earned and established through mutual actions.

What work are you doing to maintain your relationship ? How are you compensating for all the extra work your man must do ?
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 9
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:17:38 AM
subarudarling,

You are correct that dating is not about compensation.

You are incorrect that extra work ( real but not perceived ) by one party and not the other will become a problem. If the man is not getting what he wants or needs he will go somewhere else especially if he is doing all kinds of extra work to meet her needs. Can you at least see that point ?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 10
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Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:21:15 AM
the only point you have to prove mike is that you are entitled to more than anyone else. Essentially you say that we are to kiss your ass and bend over whenever you feel the need to be pampered..when you obviously have nothing to offer us.

Quit being a troll
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 11
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:25:17 AM
Can we all agree that dating a single mother with a child requires additional work by the man. Examples are as follows:

1) lack of free time
2) lack of alone time
3) lack of money ( money is spent on child )
4) s.o feels like 2nd place
5) no spontaneity
6) ex's drama


Lets just agree there is additional work to date a single mother. Can we ?
 dixielady40
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 12
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:34:19 AM
Unfortunately, Mike, we aren't gonna agree with that. I suggest you take the advice of some of the other posters and NOT DATE SINGLE MOMS! I'll let you in on a little secret....everyone, including single mothers, will actually find a way to make time for those people that they like and want to have in their lives. If you are bitter about a real life relationship where this is happening to you...chances are she's just not that into you and is using being a single mom as an excuse to try and get rid of you.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 13
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:35:47 AM
What if the shoe is on the other foot and it's a single dad with a child? Should inquire as to how he should compensate me? This whole thread utter nonsense.

For the record, I have a child, too and I don't expect anyone that I date to pay for my child if it came to the point where he would meet her. My responsibility. My suggestion is not date women with young children that need childcare and can not be left alone for the evening. The fact that the woman has a child(ren) should not be an imposition if you really want to get to know her. After all, if the relationship became serious those kids will be in your life. What I perceive is a hint of intolerance to children -- sort of a put up with them just because they are part of the woman's life.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 14
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:37:30 AM
subarudarling,

There you go sounding just like everyone else.

Here is what I would do to compensate for the work of dating a single mother:

1) Cook my man dinner frequently. I would become a very good cook and make him several meals per week. Odds are you are already cooking for the children so invite him over and cook for him frequently. Men love women who cook for them.

2) Find a way to spend at least two or three times a week with alone. Alone time is absolutely necessary. End all the times alone with sex even if it means just blowing him. Yes, I am serious. No man in a relationship is going to like having sex less than 3 times a week. He can always find a single woman and have sex with her every day if he wants.

3) When you are with him and the children do not let the entire time be spent focusing on the children. Focus on him once in a while. I have gone out for meals with my gf and her child and she spent the entire time talking to her child or about her child.

4) Dont make the man do child activities more than once a week unless he really enjoys it. Dont make him spend an entire Friday night playing bored games or at least not more than once a week. Now there are exceptions. I can play with a boy and a ball anytime. I can play catch ( football or baseball ) literally for hours. I could do it almost every day.

5) MOST IMPORTANT: SHOW THE MAN SOME APPRECIATION FOR PUTTING UP WITH THE EXTRA WORK. MEN LOVE TO FEEL APPRECIATED. YOU CAN READ ARTICLES ABOUT THIS VIA GOOGLE UNTIL YOU CANT SEE STRAIGHT.

6) Always offer to pay for the child even if it is his turn to pay for dinner. That child is not his child. It is your child and someone else's child. It is not his child and he should never pay for the child even if he says he wants to.

I am sure I could think of more examples. I thought up this list in a few minutes.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 15
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:37:34 AM
dating a single dad is esstentially the same thing- plus added 'baby mama drama'...
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 16
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:39:28 AM
Dixielady40,

You also are wrong.

My gf loves me and I love her. We are very likely getting married. She is the love of my life but I still dont like all the extra work.

I think the self-centered and cynical attitudes of the single mothers on this board is incredible.

If you think men like doing the extra work and dont want to be appreciated or get a little extra loving, cooking, ect on the side you are wrong.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 17
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:40:11 AM
Tracyannk,

What do you think about dating single men ? Is it more work ? Is it worth it ?
 dixielady40
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 18
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:42:23 AM
No, I wasn't wrong..I saw your other thread, too. If you don't like single mothers, then why date them? You say say single moms are self centered and cynical...taken a good look in the mirror lately?

Good grief...I hope this thread is deleted soon. What a loser.
 DragonRider29
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 19
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:46:11 AM
Mike,
after reading your post, my advice for anyone who has these problems would be to not date any women with children.
Basically everything on your list, I find an absolute joy!
See I have the understanding of their responsibilities, basically been there done that, so I'm not selfish.
Sex? Referrer to my first answer!
There is nothing more fun than taking a child out to to a place where they can have fun, an amusement park etc. etc..
It is money well spent!
Don't be selfish.
If you don't want to be around a child, again don't date any women with children, I hate to tell you this, they come first, second, third, fourth etc. etc.. Your wants and desires come so far down on that list that you may not even find them.
Don't be so selfish, it's not about you and what you want, it is about the child and you don't even land in the top 100.

And to any woman that has children and would ever meet somebody that has the attitude of someone who that would have these problems, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
He would not make a good father figure for your child or children.

DR
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 20
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:46:57 AM

What do you think about dating single men ? Is it more work ? Is it worth it ?


Single fathers you mean, right? -lol
Since having my son 13 years ago I've only had relationships with single dads and none of them were successful, so, I don't know...I'm open to it, but extremely cautious.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 21
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:48:40 AM
wtf2uwant,

It does seem very odd that difficult questions can not be posted in this forum.

I am not starting a fight and many of the things I am saying are good ideas.

Women do have to compensate for coming into a relationship that requires to much extra work. If they dont the man will just go somewhere else.

I agree with your sentiment that these women probably did little to please their first man so they will probably do little to please the second man. It sounds like they dont even know that men like to be pleased. I figured this out about women long long ago.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 22
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:55:02 AM

There you go sounding just like everyone else.


Mike (if that IS your real name) - did it ever occur to you that 'everyone else' might be right? You have proven beyond the pale that you are shallow, selfish, self centered and immature. No woman (mother or no) in their right mind should waste any of her time with the likes of you.
Frankly there would not be enough compensation in the world to date you.

Congratulations, you have obviously served your purpose - getting your rocks off (evidenced by your personal response to nearly every comment) with the attention. Now go crawl back under the rock from whence you came.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 23
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:55:48 AM
JaxSingleDad,

I assume from your tenor you are taking the same position as single mothers on this board. You and they will do nothing to compensate for your partners additional work. That is unrealistic.

As for having a small penis that is also incorrect. I have a penis that is exactly the mean ( average ) size. I believe you read my other post stating that exact statement. If you will notice that thread is the most popular thread on this board in the last day. Hopefully, you will further improve your reading and comprehension skills so that you understand the words "mean" and "average" are not the same as "small". Those words are not synonyms.
 MikeCOM38
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 24
Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:57:27 AM
justwant2no,

There you go sounding just like everyone else again !

I know people like to be compensated for their work. That is the basis for our economy. That same principle applies to relationships. People like being rewarded and appreciated. If you think otherwise you are incorrect.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
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Single Mothers W/ Children: Do you do anything to compensate for the extra work of dating you ?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:59:57 AM
You want to be rewarded for being someone's friend?
Why don't you put an ad on Craiglist "Troll with average sized penis for rent"
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