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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?      Home login  
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 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 3
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
To me, it wouldn't matter why I was rejected, the point is I was rejected...and I move on.
I think I speak for most men and women when I say no one wants someone who they're not interested in returning with the "why" attitude.
 CEO of Hoagie Inc.
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 4
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:52:54 AM
Let's face it, if you aren't the hottest person in the room you know it already. However if you think you have game and a great personality, it would come more of a surprise if that was the reason you were rejected. The important thing to keep in mind is that so what if someone doesn't find a you attractive there are close to 7 billion people on this rock one of them will. To many people worry what others think of them. Worry about what you think of yourself and you will be much happier that way.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 5
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:58:43 AM
Why do you see it as a rejection at all. I think everyone on this board has e-mailed and suddenly people go poof. I have even checked sent mails to make sure the crazy personality didn't write the poor sod. It isn't a rejection, it is a gnat-like attention span that got didstracted and frankly, I don't need another kid in my life.

You control how you think and feel. When I was around 16 my mother told me I wasn't bad to look at so it was probably because of my personality that I didn't have a boyfriend. Didn't put much stock in what my mother said so I didn't need therapy for that one but I could have, had I chosen to buy into it.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 7
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:13:05 AM
I'm a love me or leave me kinda person. You either like my looks or you don't. You either like my personality or you don't. No big deal to me. I'm not about to change my personality so I can fit in with someone else's preferences and I wouldn't even change my appearance to suit someone else's preferences - gotta be me or I'd lose my identity. Chances are, if someone doesn't like me for my looks or personality, I'm not gonna like something about either of theirs too , so - next! The only people who have a problem with this concept are those with low self esteem/lack of confidence - so if there's any changing to do, work on that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:23:34 AM
Neither is more devastating. Rather, initial attraction based on looks followed by the weeding out of someone based on separate interests or dealbreakers in conversation is rather typical of the process of dating.

Someone who "rejects" (word is in quotes because I believe it's not rejection but a mismatch) you based on looks or personality is recognizing that while you may be attractive and a good person, that they don't particularly find you interesting or attractive to them.

Someone else may find the exact same things valuable traits.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 10
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:48:34 AM
Doesn't matter to me. The thing about you that one person doesn't like could be the same thing that another person likes about you. Whether it's a physical or personality trait.
 steve217
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 12
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:01:16 PM
I don't think either would make anyone feel good.
 chance747
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 14
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:07:47 PM
ones looks are constantly changing, so the guy who goes only by the girls body or good looks, may be in for a surprise, as his looks also fade, mother nature is good, but father time will have his turn, as for the personality, this is who you've become, its kind of ironic, a person has to practice being rude, or mean, for that to become a part of them, and so many do, why not practice, being merciful, loving, devoted, any man can make love to a womans body, but a real man, makes love to her soul.......savanah
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 15
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:21:13 PM
I do not even use on line as a judgement for personality any more; I have learned! MOST (not all) but most that I have encountered are simply NOT the same as they make themselves appear to be on here. Everyting from fake profiles, to old photos, etc. There is a combination of things I look for in a person; and honesty has to be the root of all of it. Sure, we are attracted to a certain "tpye". Like I even say in my profile, there is a number of attributes I am looking for. For instance, I do not care how "hot" someone is, if they are an ***hole, I am not interested. I do not care how NICE someone is, if I am not physically attracted to them, I am still not interested. I accept my looks and feel I take damn good care of myself for the age of 39. I also accept and am proud that I pay my own bills, work, have a car and a valid drivers lisence and I am honest. Finding and meeting someone with the same ways I think, and the same (or close to it) sucess in life is very important. If someone is going to reject me, I do not give a rats ass. It probably means I do not need them anyway. I may not stop caring about someone, if they made a difference in my life, but I need to take care of me. I do not find looks issues to be vain at all. We are human. I am a visual person. I am very sexual. I also tend to think more like a man. Therefore, I know what I want. :)
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 16
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:35:06 PM
Looks! Alot of people like my personality, saying I am a likeable person. Yet, most would never date me cause I don't look like a raging beauty.

Hey-those super models are super high maintenance anyway!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 17
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:36:55 PM

I pride myself on being the "anti-norm" and the "anti-status quo". If I was given the brush off because she said I had no personality, I'd be crushed. I worked long and hard to nurture and hone my personality...to find that this one or that one sees it as limp or lifeless...man I don't think I could cope with that.


It goes without saying that you have a personality that's all your own. I don't think it would be a question of someone saying you don't. I can see, however, that there would be some who would reject you because they couldn't handle the straight forward, shoot from the hip type of personality you have. There's a difference between rejecting you for having no personality or a perosnality that one might not appreciate.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 18
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:42:18 PM
OP - let's face it, rejection pure sucks. If I'm rejected for whatever reason, it isn't going to ruin my day. I'd rather be out of the Rejector's life, than to be in their life under false pretenses.
 Indiana Rose
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 19
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:45:22 PM
It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions.

When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.

While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us.

Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others.

The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity

As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 20
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:23:31 AM
Looks are all on the eye of the beholder, so personality would be worse. You can fix ugly,but not personality for too long.
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 21
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:16:32 PM
I prefer to be rejected because of my tiny willie....

this is a silly thread, it deserves a silly answer.

Silly Willie
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 22
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:48:09 PM
lol, this is funny me being a man that runs around in a beard and unkempt hair I'm so used to jokes with the guys a looks diss probably wouldn't be all that bad, besides you can't really do anything about your genes, honestly I been rejected both ways so I guess get rejected by your looks is worse, atleast personality disses the person may be physically attracted to you.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:47:08 PM
I have no 'looks' and there have been times in my life when I was sick of being sorta cute at best in my youth, but looks fade and man did mine fade! You know, when you look around the most successful people are not, for the most part, at all good looking. Unless you are talking about the industries where looks even matter, and some of them still have some ugly leaders, you will notice that most people don't spend too much time trying to be beauties, most of them have talent some where else than narcissistic exposure. Even great beauties don't spend much time on it unless it's part of a job they are doing. So yeah, I could care less about someone thinking I'm not good looking, I'm not, who cares, there are much worse things to lose or not have, like intelligence or personality or drive or just being a good happy person. Looks are about as meaningless a thing to possess, to me, as being able to whistle or keep a hula hoop up, sure it would be fun but if you can't, who cares? Being rejected for my looks, no worries, being rejected as a human being, wow, that's a bit cold, but really, not my problem, I'm fine with being me.

Don't get me wrong, I love looking at beauty as much as the next person, but I don't think it's much of a reason to like or not like someone, it just is.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 26
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:21:04 PM
I think rejection for personality is harder for me. I don't really identify so much with my looks. In Germany I was more judged by my whole person, not the way I looked, so I never based my self-worth on my looks. But guys that get attracted to me physically usually don't like that I don't fit their expectations of what they think I should be like. So, getting rejected after initially being accepted is harder for me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 27
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:27:06 PM
Definitely personality. What's even worse than that is intelligence (and yes, one person actually dissed me over dinner for that reason. Oddly, I was thinking he was probably a rocket scientist in the closet......go figure.)
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 28
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:27:53 PM
reject me for my looks
at least i will know that my personality is being considered
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 30
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 11:24:03 AM

I would say personality because it's harder to change your personality than it is to change your looks


Well I guess he can be right about something. Thats kinda what I am thinking.

I could gain a few pounds, wear my hair a different way, change clothes in an instant
but that same old personality, my inner core will be me.

Me will be Me. (I'm investing in litter boxes now for my 19 cats) LOL
OH make no mistake.... I loves me.....
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 32
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:39:05 PM
A few people have called me 'beautiful'. A guy once walked into a post looking at me and another one smacked into a door. I've been handed flowers on a bus and had people I don't know recite poems to me. This tells me that, while I may not be to everybody's taste, I'm well appreciated by some - and that suits me just fine.

Looks or personality? Neither bother me - we're all different and have different tastes so it'd be crazy to be disappointed because a person doesn't click with you - if you aren't compatible, a relationship would be no fun anyway.

Forgot to add that my experience has been that I have grown to love the looks of the person I love - even if they didn't impress me at first. You love the human - the container isn't really that important.
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 33
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:45:08 PM
Hmmmm.... I think being rejected for looks is worse. Someone saying "You're hot, but your personality sucks" would be worse than someone saying "You seem like a nice guy, but I'm looking for someone better looking". That's high school 101.
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 34
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:45:55 PM
edit: I mean better than. Being rejected for your posting skills is worse than either.
 RonSan22
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 38
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Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:29:39 PM
For myself personally, I'd have to say looks more than personality. This reasoning i have stems from the fact that I don't look my age. I'm 24 but a lot of people see me like I'm 16 or 18, which can be troublesome when trying to find that significant other. Not only that, I'm 5'4", so yeah looks does play a huge role in the game of love but only in this one instance that is my case. So, in the end, just for myself, I think it's more of looks than personality that will affect my chances of finding miss right. Just my two cents, hope this helps out.
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