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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?      Home login  
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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 6
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?Page 1 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Are we talking decent men or decent men we'd actually want to sleep with? Big difference...
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 10
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:12:26 AM
One of the women at church who is gorgeous inside and out said she went through around 300 guys before she met her husband whom she has now been married to for around 40 years.

Her daughter, equally gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, finally married at 29 because she knew that there was enough wrong with the other sorta suitable guys to wait around for the right one.

You keep seeing yourself with the right guy, he will show up. This downe attitude at 23, probably not helping you.


Nope, we just move to the Seattle area!

Would be smarter to move to Texas where one only occasionally needs an umbrella.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 14
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:44:47 AM
The man I found on here who seemed to be legitimate ( he was gorgeous, smart and "looking to settle down"-- his also said "long term") turned out to be gay guy who just really wanted to marry a woman and have a family.


Hmm, I would rather settle down with a gay guy for a long term as long as he is not HIV positive ,and primarily he is HARD SEXY when I am around him ,than a Macho guy who would do bam bam and say thank you Ma'am......
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 16
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:53:36 AM
Yes. All single straight men are jerks, players, unattractive etc.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:54:43 AM

And once again "I" moved to the Seattle area!

Men I'd sleep with are not only attractive, but local. I'm lazy. If it ain't convenient, it ain't for me.

In my opinion, decent men INCLUDE men we'd like to sleep with. So I guess I'm talking beyond decent. David Beckham decent. Maybe my standards are too high and that's my problem.

Ok..thought so...was just checkin'.

All the STRAIGHT guys these days, at least in my experience, expect women to spend a good 5-6 months waiting around while they decide whether or not it's going to be an "official relationship." (Just so you know. I'm primarily talking about men closer to my age. I know that there ARE a lot of older guys, seeking women older than me, who DO have a good head on their shoulders and good intentions.)

That's interesting. All the straight guys I meet in my experience want to become exclusive in under three dates. Talk about extremes...six months is a bit long, six days is a bit soon...some moderation and common sense with a discussion would be refreshing. And the key is (romantic or not) a full blown discussion about what exactly you're doing - it's far too easy to assume exclusivity with a lot of time spent and sexual activity - truth is not everyone looks at it that way.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 18
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:56:35 AM
Nah, they're not all taken OP.

They just live in different locations.
Or under rocks.

Listen OP, you will come across a myriad of men in your life, some decent, some not so decent. Whether in the real world or on here, which at times seems surreal.

It takes time.
Don't think that your "soul mate" (for lack of a better term) is just gonna fall outta the sky and onto your lap. Just ignore the idiots.

Decent men are everywhere, they just don't shout it all day long from the rooftops.
Don't judge one against the other.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 21
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:03:54 AM

HELLO? Just "south" of Seattle here!

Dangit ~Rock Man~ it rains too dayum much up there.

OP just take your time and take a breath, it will all work out.
 Shadow67733
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 24
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:14:19 AM
Guys in there 20's just wanna party? What?! I had enough of that by the time I was 21. Seriously, don't put all of us into that catogory there are a good amount of guys around 25+ or so who are ready to settle down when they see the right one. Early 20's not so much.
 steve217
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 26
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:21:43 AM
Lol.
There are good guys that are looking for something long term and aren't gay.
Maybe you should stop into Rockford, and I'll show you.
 EverythingMan
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 28
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:45:32 AM
There are plenty of decent guys out there, just maybe not here on POF...not saying you do or don't but don't rely on this site or other sites alone for finding someone, use it like a way to just getting to know what kind of people are out there....just talking to others as friends you can learn a lot of what you like and what you may not.

Most of us what the same things the "needs" in relationships, Love, attention, security, trust and so on.....but its the things we "want" they can hinder us in our search, maybe someone who is extremely good looking can distract us from their horrible personality....just one example.....but just saying some of the things we do seek isn't something that really ends up being the most important but at a time it may.

I ask only as a reminder, Do you truly know what you want from a mate? Can you see your past mistakes and not have made them twice?

Maybe a bit of soul searching, time off from the whole dating game and just time for yourself....many grow in this world only by age and not really experience...life passes us by mighty quickly, so its not very hard to get swept up by the current of time. Truly, learning more about yourself you end up learning more in detail what you need in another.


this is just advice, take it as you wish. Just be happy and be the best you can be for yourself
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 29
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:46:19 AM

You are so young, I think the average of a woman getting married, last I looked was about 28.

It's closer to 25.6 -- in the U.S. at least (according to wikipedia).

But maybe you're right that the OP would benefit from aging some, as she comes across as being so insufferably petulant and demanding that no really decent guy could stand her for long. With the plethora of negative attitudes she has about men one can't help but wonder why she's so desperate to get one of the horrid creatures... except for the purpose of making his life a living hell.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 32
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:09:06 PM
OP, add me to the list of guys surprised that someone so young is so intent on settling down.......when you are 27 you will find a ton of guys looking for that, not to worry.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 34
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:25:04 PM
In a word, yes. All of the "decent" guys are either taken or gay.

Now that we've got that burning question out of the way: what are you going to do about it?

A few options for you.

(a) Try batting left yourself.
At least you'll be able to share a wardrobe with your SO, and women tend to have less "fear of commitment".

(b) Try stealing a "decent" guy from some other woman who already has one.
A tried and true strategy. Might lead to some resentment, though, and possibly revenge plots.

(c) Celibacy.
At least you can throw out your birth control and buy a smaller condo.

(d) Date the "indecent" guys.
Just toss out your 'dating-relationship-L/T relationship-ring-white dress-semidetached bungalow-2.5 children' program and stop expecting the guys to march to that drummer.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 35
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:36:22 PM

Q: Why does every woman think that every decent guy is either taken or gay?

A: Because they go through life with blinders on focused exclusively on a mental picture of what they imagine their perfect mate to be and anyone that doesn't fit that image can't possibly be worthy of their time.

And men don't do this? We all have a mental picture (yes, even YOU.)


I feel no empathy or sympathy for a 23 year old woman that is convinced every guy out there taken or gay. Honey, do you think you're every decent guy's fantasy? Do you think decent guys only come in one shape, size and color? Do you think they must have a certain education? A specific job type?

I don't see where this OP maintains she's anyone's fantasy, but your post screams "I think I'm a decent guy ~ and I'm sick of being overlooked." Just another complaint in a sea (or pond in this case) of complaints.


I'm sorry here but the problem is you, not the guys out there. Your myopic vision is creating this problem.

I think you forgot, "In my opinion."

~OP~ There are wonderful men that are not only available, but looking for something long-term/lasting, etc., etc. I have to agree with others here however, just don't count on them being here on the net (not that "he" might not be, but leave real life options open!) and don't be in a hurry. You don't need to waste your time at such a tender age worrying about something that will happen all on it's own in it's own time. Good luck.
 steve217
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 36
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:39:13 PM
Maybe you can look at it this way?

The women that act bitter in their profiles seem to agree with the OP.
Maybe you should lighten up, and act like a lady.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 41
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:02:53 PM
Q: Why does every woman think that every decent guy is either taken or gay?

A: Because they go through life with blinders on focused exclusively on a mental picture of what they imagine their perfect mate to be and anyone that doesn't fit that image can't possibly be worthy of their time.



And men don't do this? We all have a mental picture (yes, even YOU.)


Not me. I might have a general idea of what I'm looking for in a woman. But I would not reject a woman simply because she doesn't exactly match a certain image or a long list of requirements. I have been interested in many different types of women.
 cherryking
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 49
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:52:27 PM
DECENT GUYS ARE ALL AROUND YOU!!! OPEN YOUR EYES LADIES!!!
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 50
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:58:10 PM
People who say stuff like what's in the subject line, in my opinion, don't deserve a decent guy.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 51
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Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:00:11 PM

Nowdays, people (or at least men) tend to view "starting a relationship" as if it were becoming engaged.


Changing one's status" seems the modern-day equivalent of marriage proposal (for GUYS, that is).

I think you are pigeonholing a whole lotta men and that's not a fair assessment.
But you'll learn, you'll learn.

When women paint men with a broad brush and not look at them as individuals in their own right, there's where some women begin to get jaded, bitter and any other adjective you wanna hang on it. Yes, we are somewhat different in our thinking and how we go about different things in life but there's where communication should be effective.

But I do expect him to acknowledge me as his OFFICIAL, EXCLUSIVE GIRLFRIEND until one of us decides it's just not working anymore. You have no idea how many guys have told me, when I finally bring the issue up: "Hey, y'know, I really like ya, baby! But I'm totally open to the idea of meeting somebody else an i just don' wanna rule it out, y'know?"

If this is what happens to you, then you expect a lot from someone who, if they are looking elsewhere, just do not see you as relationship material for them.


And what better reason to stay home and in bed????????????????????????????

Yanno ~Rock Man~, oddly enough, I actually don't have a valid come back for that statement! Go figure. Me? Not having a response? Isn't THAT sumptin'?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 55
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:47:04 PM
Maybe the guys you think are decent just aren't interested. You may take affront to that if so, then well...okay. It could still be true.

I realize you're young but it seems a little harsh to make a personal judgement about someone's character just because you're not interested. That isn't a standard, IMO, that's a lack of basic humanity.

Bottom line is people tend to attract who or what they are. So if you think about what it is you're looking for or wanting if you ARE that your chances of attracting that will be much greater.

I've met plenty of decent guys here and befriended many. Doesn't mean I would want to date them or that we'd be compatible for a romantic relationship. Neither does it mean either of us are somehow terminally flawed.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 58
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:08:38 PM
I would suggest....dont limit yourself to POF. It is a big, wide world out there, and a lot of decent, caring guys inhabit the real world. If you dont find them, they will find you, when you are ready.
 Forensics Writer
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 59
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:07:34 PM
I do not believe that they are. Then again it all depends on what you mean by decent. Perhaps some guys do not want to be an object for a night or two or dated just because they happen to be "gorgeous"; what ever that means. Maby they do not want to be on the receiving end of some failed past relationship. Sure there are pleanty of "good guys" left but they too must be careful. It realy does not matter if you are looking for a date or something long term, it is very simple--- people make it complicated by not being up front, Want long term and want to be sincere in your quest? Then say so and let the rest take care of itself. Keep things simple not simpler.
 Forensics Writer
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 62
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:33:16 PM
It seems rather odd to me that so many women peroccupy themself with how much guys cheat or flirt when they look at it from just their own point of view. Is there a possibility that women are not paying attention to their surroundings? Yes there are plenty of "good Guys" and I am sure that many of them know that monogamy is not a type of wood found at Home Depot but there seems to be some confusion for women regarding that issue. Arrogance and stupidity will cause anyone to fail.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 63
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:48:37 PM
Mosey on over to the "nice guy" forums. They are all complaining that they can't find a woman. They'll jump at the chance to talk with you.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:29:36 PM

I understand that everybody knows what they like but your never going to get everything in a single package.

I disagree. Depends on what you want in the package, but it's totally possible to find it all in one package. If it's not, then I guess I'll pass on my shipment.
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