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 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 1
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premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problemsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
i thought having adopted my teens and raised them, our problems would soon settle down. but alas! i'm now a grandma and told my eldest, i'd get some opinions for her. we know that often premies have gastro problems. but, while she waits endless weeks for the bureaucracy to approve all these rule out "procedures", she's been given little advice on diet and has has to figure out most of it on her own. he gets seen by the specialist in a week. they've allowed him to suffer all these weeks, despite numerous ER visits. seems hs has to be "bleeding" to warrant any attention.

he is now about 7 months,has been primarly on breast milk and then a lactose intolerant formula and now breastmilk and soy. it appears a lot of these forumalas and baby foods have iron in them, so that is also supposed to be constipating?

she's been advised by my friends to cut out bananas and rice. he's been allowed by the current fp's, in their infinite wisdom, to eat fruit--but they never warned her about which fruit!

so, has any parent here dealt with a little baby's food intolerances, severe stomach pains to the point of tears and crankiness in an otherwise very happy baby? also he now appears to be getting carsick. i've tried to find baby specific websites and more premie info as often they are born too soon to have their gastrointestinal tracts fully developed. one person told me that, given he was born a month earlier and after day one, was five pounds, that the fruit giving should have been delayed another month.
he is now a stable 16 pounds, but solid little muscular baby. his tooth pick legs are now round and fat!

please help a new mom and a new uneducated grannie! even websites on this subject or books are appreciated. once she gets the procedures done, i'm thinking of investing in paying my homeopath md, out of pocket for a consultation. he is VERY expensive and she has only county insurance for the little guy. a lot of geniuses where she goes, but long waits and a poor staff to patient ratio. they're geared up for the near death experience and not the prevention aspect. i also have her tying into the public health division, but CA is going down the tubes and the once expert Silicon Valley medical delivery system is hardly funded, in comparison with a few years ago.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 2
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:30:37 PM
Hmm... you 'ado*ted two teens? And now one of them had a *remature baby?

I am against ado*tion. It's a disgrace to take someone else's child and *retend its your own. It is nothing but lies. So first, I must encourage you to hel* those children/teens/young adults, whatever, to go back to their real family.

Next, my twins were born three months *remature. My son had necrotizing entercolitis, a section of his ileum removed, an ileostomy bag and a reversal. All of that was in the midst of blown lungs, bleeding brains, chf, infections, rickets, cerebral *alsy, and a about 20 other things.

When he came home he was 3.5 lbs. He screamed all the time.

That baby needs to be first with the real family, and also with the best kind of doctors. I don't know where you live, but around here, good doctors are hard to find. When my son was sick, I KNEW something was wrong with him. The doctors told me it was nothing. I went to a surgeon who I knew from the heart surgery, who was going to fix the five hernias, and I told him I wanted bloodwork done immediately and to *lease hel* me. He did. If I didn't go to that extreme of demanding care basically, he would have been dead in 5 days. He had a very serious allergy to cow's milk *rotein.

I had to not have any milk at all. and then I had to se*arate the thin milk from the cream at the beginning. I did this with a breast *um. Then, I mixed that milk with *rogestamil. (insert the letter between o and q to see what the * re*resents) Over time he was able to have other formula and fully regular breast milk.

If i was you, I would NOT give my child soy. Unless it is non-GMO, it has been modified genetically and no longer matches the natural genetic digestion and *rocesses in the human body and can harm a *erson in the long run. If the child is going to have milk other than from the breast, then it should be raw milk from the healthfood store, and not the *rocessed cra* from grocery store shelves. Raw milk has enzymes and a chemical make- u* that benefits the human immune system as well as the animal immune systems. The enzymes are needed to digest it *ro*erly. If you give milk that does not have the enzymes, the body will *ull reserve enzymes out of the tissues to digest the bad milk. Then you are just *ushing bad milk thru a body that isn't equi**ed to digest it...because that's not how God made it anymore, it's been modified.

I would also back off everything exce*t the milk described above, and then add organic rice or oatmeal to the bottle for a week, then begin to add organic other foods like banannas, a**lesauce, etc. Add them one at a time for one whole week and determine if there are reactions.

Kee* a log and as soon as you see any kind of reactions, sto* the food from that week. It could also be the combination that caused the issues. For exam*le, if you gave strawberries this week, and last week banannas, and are giving both of those this week, that could indicate a mix *roblem. You could just get rid of the strawberries, or not serve them with banannas the next week to determine if the mix was the *roblem. Take a break from it though first. The body needs time to regenerate and heal.

Find some new doctors. I found mine by getting on the *hone and demanding to s*eak to the doctors and telling our story. Feel out the staff as well. If it doesn't feel right, hang u* and call the next office until you find the right ones. You need a s*ecialist as well, one who will follow this child until there are no more big *roblems.

Cindi
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:35:14 PM
Dare I say that child is NOT your grandson. I im*lore you to find the real family and make things right. This situation is just bad all the way around.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:55:20 PM
It was "off to*ic" to bring that into the digestion questions.

YOU are the ignorant one. Get the facts, and shut u* while you do it.
 lorelei540
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 5
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:08:57 PM

once she gets the procedures done, i'm thinking of investing in paying my homeopath md, out of pocket for a consultation.

What procedures is she supposed to have done? Instead of the extremes of surgery and homeopathy, is it possible to see a pediatric nutritionist? If there's a midwife/doula organization near you they might be able to point you in the right direction.

My first was 3 months early and from what I understand, being a month early shouldn't have too much bearing on your grandson's prenatal GI development, so his sensitivities may be "normal" rather than preemie-related. Not that that solves anything, but maybe if it helps you a little bit.

I know people say it's ok to give little ones soy, but there's so much soy in the american diet these days that the younger they start, the more years they are ingesting excess hormones! (And I'm a tofu-loving vegetarian!)

Try a nutritionist for your sweet grandson. Good luck.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:36:30 PM
Ms. Rogue:

First, the original writer brought the issue into the to*ic in the first sentence. That o*ens the door. I didn't bring it in first.

I've s*oken truth to that woman, and every *erson who reads that forum. It is my duty to stand u* for REAL, YES THE REAL families, after all, 11 children from 3 generations in my family have been lost to the ado*tion "INDUSTRY" and no one bats an eye. They line u* to take the babies of those in trouble because they are barren and want to satisfy their own desires to "have a child of their own" when that child will NEVER be theirs... they will be res*onsible for the destruction and loss of relationshi*s they cause though.

There are a few excetions in every case. However, 99% of these situations are forced through the culturalfalse beliefs and money. Money comes and goes as we all can see with this economy and it should never be the reason for taking someones child... to give that child what the real mother couldn't, bla bla bla.

You and everyone who says I'm ignorant or whatever should know that I have been on EVERY side of this issue. EVERY side! I was an orhan as well...AND, I've been in every other *osition of it, EVERY side. I know more about this issue than I HO*E you ever will in your own *ersonal life. However, YOU are the ignorant one(s). Unless you've truly lived it, you DON'T know.

You need to think about this from the *oint of view of everyone else, because NONE of these situations should be about what anyone but the child needs...the REAL FAMILY. Ado*tion makes the REAL FAMILY'S life WORSE, not better. It's a destruction and a *ain that cannot be described in any other way than a sledge hammer bashing the woman's chest in over and over... exce*t she can't die. She can't breathe, and she thinks she's worthless because she's been brainwashed by the holier than thou Christians and the rest of tue culture. There are so many things that NONE of you have considered.

GOD NEVER WANTS ADO*TION. What He wants is for us to care for and *rovide for the or*hans... to hel* them to know how to survive on their own. No one can take the *lace of your real family, ever. God intends for families to stay together the way HE *uts them together. And if the REAL FAMILY is having trouble, taking that child and faking that it was your's solves nothing. The REAL FAMILY NEEDS THE HEL* TO STAY TOGETHER.

Those with money should give it to the real family so the real family can stay together. Hel* that *oor mother (sometimes father) get that education, daycare, job, etc. Taking their baby SOLVES NOTHING!

If you ACTUALLY care, you can go to the following websites and obtain a subscri*tion to the Ado*tion Quarterly Research Journal.

www.abolishadoption .com
www.keepyourbaby.com

And check out the links on those sites as well as AMFOR... Americans for Open Records.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 7
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:53:04 PM
Perhaps the mother should modify her diet?
i LOVE spicy foods, and my son was having reactions when the spices i ate came through the milk, lactating is like being pregnant in the sense that everything you put into your body goes through to the baby.

How about Enfamil's Nutramigen or Pregestimil, or Similac's Alimentum?
Those are formulas made for babies with digestion issues, have those been tried?


And to the crazy off topic lady, leave the Op the fvck alone. She has loved and cared for human beings that whilst not born of her body, were born of her heart. Leave her alone.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:39:33 PM
That born of her heart stuff is a sca*e goat and a co* out to make her feel better and deny the truth.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:09:30 PM
It doesn't matter. Caring for an orhan and retending a child is your's are two different things.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 10
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premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:26:05 PM
sorry lady, my kids don't agree with you. their option would have been a group home. one was almost dead when found. it sounds like you've had a bad adoption or foster experience. many have. my kids and i are planning to write a book on the foster care "industry". their birth parents were too ill to keep them. they have learned to hate the illness and not their birth parents. i taught them that first thing. i also taught them they had four parents. nowadays not much different than kids from divorced homes.

we keep in touch with birth parents on as "as chosen" basis. my kids determine all that now. they finally have "control". at one point, they asked me to also adopt their birth mom. birth mom sent me all their medical info and even their baby pics. she fought to make me their adoptive mom. she was not capable. in the begining, my job was just to keep them safe from birth dad, who was very mentally ill-- and they are grateful i kept them out of group homes. so CHILL LADY. i'm telling all this to give you some perspective, but i doubt you are able to absorb it. you are too traumatized yourself.

i fully understand that this society forces many people into the situation. on the other hand, it also fosters a group home "industry" which sadly feeds into other relatively vile industries because kids are on the fringe of society and have little access to the "good stuff" . i have digressed to respond ONCE to your above tirades. i don't think you will be a very good counelor until you get some counseling for yourself. my guess is that you are self --appointed. or, is it "annointed"? sadly, understandably so.

my kid is now 22, a good mom, works and is in college for pre-law. she CHOOSES to call me her mom, as does her sister and brother. believe me, i've earned that title. it was not inherited or stolen. not many people have held grown children in their arms and gave them the rocking, they never got as babies.

babies may not have a choice in their birth parents OR adoptive parents. there are good and bad experiences on both sides of these fences. CLEARLY, you've had a horrific experience. my kids were old enough to CHOSE and believe me, it was not easy, but i've kept all three together and all are now in college. they didn't even know how to multiply when they came to me. i was told it never could be done. i could have given birth. i CHOSE not to do so, i made this decision at five years old and i stuck to it. way too many unwanted children on this planet. there are too many mentally ill birth parents who will not accept help. you cannot force them, you can only rescue abused, tortured and neglected children. but, then what? many get it done to them, all over again! i know, that is hard to hear, that there often is no solution w/o more healthy parents on the birth and the adoptive side. your denial of this is clear-- and yes, there are many lousy adoptive parents as well.

back to MY OPENING POST. you should start your own on anti-adoption if you are so vehement. first, get your keyboard fixed.

thanks for the info thus far. my homeopath specializes in child food allergies and intolerances. he is also an MD. the procedures "rule out" first to make sure that is what it is. many are non invasive. there is rarely surgery involved. sometimes scopes are needed. i've had this done myself!

just got a private email from one man, where a procedure saved his kid's life. none of what was found was evident in blood or feces. i wondered why he didn't post. i guess the distraction on "adoption" made him go "underground".

often it is assumed to be colic. i was a vp of a hospital, but on the strategic planning side. i also consulted for many hospitals, so i've seen the things that can go wrong. on the other hand, yes it could just be colic. she's done the all breastmilk routine. they say to start introducing other foods after six months. the advice that more time was needed came from another premie's doctor. as to rice and bnananas--an absolute no no. they say too constipating. he does not have diarrhea. just severe gas , constipation and pain. she has stopped eating ice cream as she noticed that affected her breast milk. i believe her soy is not genetically engineered-- but that is a good point. since she is mixing, it's not all soy. will investigate that further. genetic engineering takes place with the many soy products that imitate meath. i believe soy milk and tofu are the exception ,but will check anyways. having a thyroid issue, i know to be careful with soy. my kid also has a special form of anemia (thalassemia) , that we found from the mayo clinic, after i adopted her. that may also be happening here.

i know the homeopath also looks at the mom's diet. as to the pediatric nutritionist, to see one at this hospital, you must first get approval by the gastroenterologist. they've seen too many bad things happen when it is assumed this is just colic. then they are liable if something goes wrong. the problem is the underfunding right now and long waiting lists to see the specialists. as mentioned you have to be bleeding or vomiting incessantly to be bumped up on the waiting list. i know the homeopath is competent and will spend the time with her. i've yet to meet some really good docs in this vicinity. not networked in as when i was working back east. believe me, there are some really lousy docs. she is on the waitlist for a good one, i was appraised early today--after i wrote this thread at my daughter's request.

so, i must stick with who i know is good. i try to supplement all three kids as needed financially and w/o any funding, and now the little one. i assisted in his delivery by the way! i only have so much money, having lymes disease myself. right now there is not much more i can tap into as all three are needing help lately. so i prioritize and they take turns. they also help each other. if i get additional ideas from this forum, i will list them and add to the pieces of the puzzle. i will reread the above info, in between the tirades about adoption and see what can be gleaned.

thought this would be an easy read! is the moon out lately? need to go and check!
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 11
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:29:07 PM
look LADY yourself....

Get the facts. Get off your arse and read what really goes on.

If you were so smart you would NEVER USE A NASTY TERM LIKE "BIRTH MOTHER"

NOT ONE OF YOU HAVE EVER READ ANYTHING AT THE LINKS OR IN THE JOURNAL I GAVE TO YOU TO READ. THEREFORE, SHUT YOUR MOUTHS. YOU CANNOT S*EAK ABOUT THAT WHICH YOU KNOW NOTHING. CLEARLY YOU ALL HAVE NOT READ MY WRITING, YOU'VE ONLY SEEN A FEW WORDS AND REJECTED IT ALL RIGHT AWAY.

THESE BEHAVIORS ARE THE REAL *ROBLEMS, NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. I HAVE INSIGHTS THAT NONE OF YOU HAVE. IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT FAMILIES, START DOING THE REAL RESEARCH. UNTIL THEN... ZI* YOUR MOUTH.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 12
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History
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:42:41 PM
i said i would not comment any more on the adoption aspect of this thread. but, having read my "opponent's" profile and gone to her two anti-adoption websites last night, i now undestand her concern. yes. many young people are "forced" to give up their babies. perhaps she is not the adopted child, but the one whose baby was taken away. i've known several, who now work arm in arm with us. i also know a few foster and adoptive moms who went out of their way to include the birth moms. the term birth mother is a term of respect, not demeaning. it honors the fact that they did give life to the child. i guess it depends on which side of the fence you have experienced. i must say, i know of several cases where children were returned to "birth mothers" and abused /killed. the opposition says the same of adoptive parents. both are correct. abusive parents are everywhere and in every fiber of society.

yes, there are foster and adoptive parents who do it "for the money" and who abuse the children. HOWEVER, the same applies to birth parents. the system is underfunded and a lot of morons deciding the children's fates. often the victims (the kids) jump from the frying pan into the fire. in the case of my kids, i jumped right in with them. there were times, birth mama and her advocates, were on the same side as me. actually, it was with her help, i was able to save the boy who went in and out of the system. thank G-d, he's made it out the other end. of the three siblings, he was always in trouble. they would not let me adopt him and instead placed him in jail, but made me his de facto parent and his iep surrogate. finally we got him out and the help he needed. he calls me "mama'. he's in my trust, equally to the girls. we are thinking about adopting him, now that he's 21. it's up to him. he has to make that decison "clean and sober" for one year before i start proceedings.

now, he's getting some special services and has two jobs working with troubled youth (math tutoring and summer camp) . he certainly can identify with that! again, as with divorced families, they have four parents. they call both of us mom. she was "mama", now i'm "mama". i've done a good job, they really don't see the nuances in terminology. she birthed them and gave them up to a very sick man. i rescued and raised them. one was almost dead.

YES, IT TAKES A VILLAGE. you cannot generalize as to who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. but everyone, can play a part, even if it's just a big brother or big sister. if you see a "bad" kid, find out why first. my kids have hearts of gold, but they have had their down times. they can call birth mama or father for that matter any time they want. they often choose not to, because neither one really knows who they are. they have illusions of who they want them to be. actually, somewhat religious fanatics and some have said "cultists". i actually don' t agree with that opinon.

birth dad is too ill. mama lives in her own world. my kids love them both, in that they feel sorry for them. only my little one is still trying to forgive the man and hate the disease he had instead. that is what i taught her. she is trying. the other two got the understanding a lot "faster", but they also knew him when he was a bit saner.

i studied massage on sabbatical and we've done that, for the stomach pain--only we did circles along with the movement of the large intestine. we will try your movement. i will take these details to my daughter and ask to see what to add to his milk. i believe he is gassy, possibly constipated. he is not allergic, but i think he may be "intolerant" of milk. let me see what she says. this baby rarely leaves her hip. he hangs on while she works on the computer for school or makes sales calls for work. when she leaves for school, he goes straight into daddy's arms. now, i'm taking him on a special schedule to give both a break. he does now sleep most of the night, thank G-d. in general, a very curious and happy baby--but then comes the pain!!!!

we hope to know for sure, that this is not something beyond colic. then we will see how to address colic. there are a range of ideas. we want to know all of them to keep trying new things.

ps i see our mood disordered person is back. apparently posting at the same time. it is very clear, that reading the profile and reading the above discourse, demonstrates two very distinct sides of her personality. this is not something anyone can tend to, but herself. a very hard journey. not clear if externally or internally induced.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 13
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premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:15:39 PM

It doesn't matter. Caring for an orhan and retending a child is your's are two different things.

Perhaps you should change your username to brokenheartedlady because you are very angry and hateful, which is a choice.

My stepson was not cared for by his mother, we got custody of him, rather than address her failure to parent, she was angry with us for "taking her son away." The vice principal who quickly knew me well because I was the one at the high school every time the kid got into trouble, told him I don't know your mother, I won't comment on her but I do know that this woman has done more for you than most "real" parents do for their kids.

Loving children is loving children without concern about "whose" children they are. Any person who opens their home to a child who needs them is doing the right thing. Yes the system sucks, kids are taken away that shouldn't, and those that should be removed are not and often pay the ultimate price for a system that is overloaded with too few people volunteering to foster.

Most states give the parents numerous chances to get their shit together and the last time I checked, there were laws in every state to protect the biological parents, to give them the right I believe for the first year to decide they don't want their child adopted. How do you possibly hope to counsel others when you are so damaged yourself? Are you going to function objectively and unbiased in the best interest of your client or only counsel in a way that aligns with your agenda.

YOU have not looked at all sides of the issue because there ARE wonderful, giving foster parents that take care of countless numbers of children and they are special people that raise those children as their own and do return them to the parents when the parents are deemed to be providing a safe and loving environment. There are also many foster children and orphans who would give an appendage for someone who would go to the mat for them like the OP has for her kids.

You can spout all the b.s. you want but the two parents that took care of my stepson were myself and his stepfather and I resent anyone who tries to tell me I was not as much or more of a parent than either of his bio parents. I didn't abandon him when his father and I split up, you don't divorce children, and I maintain a relationship with him at 30 which his father doesn't bother to do.

And lastly, if you actually want someone to listen to what you have to say you should try appealing to logic rather than ranting at people.

OP, on topic, are there reflux problems? You might try propping one end of the mattress so that the stomach acids stay where they are supposed to be. My children were not premies and I didn't really have problems with them except for occasional constipation. Try the drops for gas, there is quite a bit of over-the-counter stuff that can help and I will contact a friend, she suggested something that really helps and it was like 20 years ago so I will get back to you with that one.

Also, with the solids, the first thing I started my kids on was cereal, no fruit, etc. One of the things I read indicated that without the vitamin c fortified baby apple juice, the iron from the cereal isn't going to be absorbed by the brain. I mixed the oatmeal with apple juice. In your case, you might try making this really "runny" so that he is getting a lot of the juice, fluids are very important in minimizing constipation.

Also, when my kids had problems, we did the bicycle thing with the legs, what was described above but alternating the legs up to the torso. Have you ever noticed when your stomach starts bothering you and you are trying to get to the bathroom and it gets worse? The walking loosens things up. I thought this was total bull but it always helped my kids when they were obviously a bit bound up.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 14
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premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:38:32 AM
2008CJ

i believe this is not the case of being given away, but rather the case of having social services and the courts taking a baby away. or, being poverty stricken, and with no assistance or the push of abortion counselors, feeling forced to get rid of the baby-- not being able to provide for the baby.

i am not familiar with PA. in CA, it works often in the reverse. i've seen several sexually abused little children returned home, with promises by mommy that that boyfriend would be gone. some were severely beaten and told that the parents have finished their anger management classes and were okay to have the baby back. i know one foster parent who had a child who would wet her pants and have nightmares all night, because they forced visitation on her. my friend had a baby who was so battered, he died at age nine, several years later. however, the mom did get rid of the boyfriend and they worked "together" to care for the child. on the day of the funeral, it was held at my friend's house with the mom. nobody blamed her, as she was not the abuser and helped to get him arrested. about 50 grown foster children attended that funeral, all cared for by my friend over the years, who is now an attorney to help even more children. my friend continued to get the mom through college. same friend took in a shaken baby child, with serious permanent injuries. actually conceived by a religious "celibate". the stories never cease.

then there are the parents who just weren't given any assistance, but with the right help they would have taken care of baby. thus, they are haunted for the rest of their lives. i know one young woman who recently went to the right to life group for help. they told her, with the economy, there was a six month waiting list to get some "things". a couple years ago, they couldn't give enough stuff away. so, no matter how you slice it, every approach has it's good and it's bad. i also know of many foster parents who are as crazed as the parents they take the kids from. they don't investigate foster parents in the same depth as adoptive parents. even then, i have two pof friends who were abused by their adoptive parents.

in between the adoption issue, i've gotten some good ideas and will review them tonite with my daughter. got some remedy ideas in my email as well, by another man who did not care to get into the drama of this thread. i've been asked to report by a couple of you. however, i feel that this is needed for the poster's healing. so, we will bear with it. okay? i believe her situation is very, very sad.

i'll keep his name anonymous. his idea is interesting and i'm checking out with my homeopath md. he has suggested:

"You can give 2 vitamins to help the child. Please seek your doctor's consent before using this.

Natures Plus - Grape Seed - It's a liquid. You can give the child 1 drop per day mixed with water. This will have many enzymes needed by the child.

Griphron - Maitake - Standard ONLY!!! - It's a liquid. You can give the child 1 drop per day mixed with water. This will have many different enzymes / EFA's needed by the child.

Both of these comprise over 60% of the ION channel boosters for the child. The doctor will understand this better.

It will take many weeks before you see an improvement but within 3-5 weeks you will think it was a new child. This problem (on some level) will linger on long term and not a single person can predict how long.

I hope this helps. May GOD please you always."
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 15
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premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:30:49 PM
please bear with this digression, because it's all part of a larger picture. the reason why my grandson cannot get immediate care and the reason why all this perpetuates itself, including the rage of our one forum participant, is due partly to our "institutions" and partly we as "human animals". i believe we can slowly evolve out of it, if we try hard or at least make it a little bit better. i also believe we all need to learn more about each side of the fence, so to speak.

first, futureshock,

to clarify my statement:
'm "personally" pro choice, but the reality is that until recently the options were not given to kids--the majority of whom are having these babies and are often repeaters because they have not dealt with the reality. many will ultimately give birth to very sick babies, because they are weary and guilty about continuously aborting. that is qualitatively offered up, based upon my consulting years in hospitals and familiarity with the foster care system. i don't have the stats. BOTH sides of this opinion do a lot of "talking" but not a lot of "walking". as with all usa medical care, there is only "categorical" funding for the immediate crisis and little prevention for future crises. that funding is also severely diminishing in CA.

with the CA law, many 12 year olds are allowed to get these abortions with no adult input, outside the facililty. the assumption is that they've been molested or that their parents or guardians will beat them for getting pregnant! also there is the fact that society does not want to pay for the care of their kids. howevr, i know of two very botched jobs at four months pregnancy. one almost died from the poor quality abortion and lack of aftercare--supposedly in a good facility. not enough time and resources were spent on her. so, that is why i said what i did. not sure about your area.

i've been on the board of one very widespread liberal organization back east, which used to cart young women across state lines when the right to choose did not exist in every state. the emphasis is upon population control and mostly targetted towards the poor mothers, not about the "whole picture". i understand "intellectually" and "policywise" both sides of the picture. but, i am moreso concerned about the medical and psychological aspects that are not fully understood by both sides of the picture. there is insufficent "choice" counselling in many areas still and insufficient follow-up to mend the wounds and stop pregnancies from continuing. young moms need to see some "future" for themselves. many are from the foster care system and so it perpetuates. there is a middle way here. full counselling, empowering and follow up to those who keep and those who don't. right now all those scarce funds are drying up even moreso, here in CA. the same as to why THIS baby (remember the original topic?!*) has to wait to see a specialist. drops in funding levels. my kid pays for regular insurance for herself, but could not afford the "extreme fees" for her premie baby AND work part time so she can go to college, so they put him on Medic-Cal. She will be giving back to society and see how she struggles "with" help. what about the one not so smart, not so caring because she had no care, and with no other regular and continuos backup. even with foster care and group homes, they shuttle you from one place to the other. it is not about the foster kids, it's about the economy surrounding them.

second:

you will see, that tucked in between the ranting, the woman who has introduced these issues into my thread, has made some serious attempts to "care for her own" since whatever happened to her and appears to be "trying" desperately hard. getting rid of one's rage is very long term process. for her own future success, she needs to get mirrored back to her what she puts forth, but she also needs some compassion. she was also willing to share relevant info and good insight into the baby's possible problems, in between her ranting.

i've told here what i see and not been a doormat. but, i also try my best to address intolerance with tolerance, when i see deep pain under the behaviour. i am not sure there are policy answers to "human behaviour" and addressing another's pain takes tolerance, time and a lot of education on both sides. not everyone has that time. but, we all can be vigilante about what "our side" is doing. i guess that's why i have republican friends, as a democrat. if we, fully well "intentioned" people, "actively" infuse all our different groups with good intent, we might find our similar goals are managed via all the different pathways to them. in this case, good moms and dads of all persuasions have the ablity/perhaps power to address the wounds of those moms, dads and children who did not have it quite so good.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:56:06 PM
Op: You didn't look at those websites I gave you enough. You also didn't really read everything I wrote either. Terms like 'birth mother' are seriously demeaning. Take if from me. 11 children in my family have been lost to this system. 11. The tragedy is generational and you are not helping.

Subscribe to the journal as well. Get the real facts.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
History
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:20:20 AM
Specialheartedlady, your last post illustrates that you are incapable of seeing a middle ground, that people like the OP have stepped up to care for childen who fall through the cracks, that there are adoptive parents who give good homes to children whose birth parents give them up because, being fully informed, they believe it is the best start they can give their children.

The OP has been very kind and generous, as others have also tried to be in this thread because everyone recognizes that your position, regardless of how you choose to express it, is born of pain but you have a big problem.

I am not going to recover any ground that has already been adequately addressed by the OP and others, I am going to focus on this.


11 children in my family have been lost to this system. 11. The tragedy is generational and you are not helping.

My question to you and your family is where were the women in your family after the third or fourth time this happened? Did any of the women in your family try to keep the young women in your family from becoming pregnant in the first place? Were there older siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, who stepped up and told one of these girls, I will give you a home so that you can get back on your feet and keep this baby? Where were the parents that were evidently okay with the child being adopted? What are you doing as a parent to stop the cycle and more importantly, what is your hate doing to your children?

There was a man who was filled with hate, posted vitrol on a variety of subjects, women, the court systems, etc. You could see that he was obviously in pain but after a time, his rants were so tiresome and pointless, it became difficult to even feel poorly for the man anymore. Then suddenly one day, a kinder, gentler version of this man emerged. He was very likeable, said some wise things, was soooo much more productive than angry man.

Why the change? His young daughter one day said I want to grow up to be just like you. He took a look at himself and decided he didn't want his daughter to become like him so he changed. When you choose to continue to wear the victim mantle instead of accepting that you and every one of those 11 women in your family as well as the entire extended family made choices, you can no longer continue to blame other people for your personal tragedies.

Yes, the system is flawed, certainly work within the system to ensure that women are not pressured into giving up their children when it is not really the choice they want to make. As the OP said, work to create a system that gives these young women the tools to raise their children. Work to educate women about having sex when one is not ready to deal with the consequences of that choice. Stop denigrating without bothering to know individual circumstances, people that choose to love and raise other people's children.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/17/2009 3:46:10 PM
It's generational, cultural, and brainwashing. I couldn't even begin to tell you how bad things were. If someone has means to do things, then they need to use that means to kee* real families together. It's that sim*le. 3 generations in my family have been aflicted with this "flawed system."

Saying it's flawed doesn't fix it or bring back all that has been lost.

NO WOMAN EVER WANTS TO "GIVE" HER BABY AWAY. If you think she does, you're sorely mislead, and most likely don't care about the things I'm saying.

put others before yourself and help those in need stay together.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 19
view profile
History
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:22:02 PM

GOD NEVER WANTS ADO*TION


Funny I seem to remember Joseph was OK with adopting Jesus as his own son. Holy off topic psycho rant Batman!

Are you feeling alright tonight dear????
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 20
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:08:29 PM
Lady, the real question is, not that it pertains to the topic at hand but what the hell,


WHY on earth did your family lose so many kids?
Kids dont just get randomly pulled out of their homes and into foster care.
Instead of being mad at OP, be mad at your family for making poor choices and actions that lead to their kids being fostered.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
History
premies and allergies/gastro-intestinal problems
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:48:26 AM
specialheartedlady,

alright, i 'm taking my thread back now. go start your own. i was trained by a diverse team that including "birth moms" who gave their babies up, kids who lived in group homes who became adults, reunited moms or dads and kids, the full range. in fact, my friends partner was just discovered by her birth children and is now friendly with the adoptive mom as well--and very grateful. in turn, they found and pulled in birth dad, who is a pretty famous guy, btw. my kids were taken away because birth dad had a serious mental illness. my son was almost dead. my kids were only "allowed" to eat once a week. the story is worse, but not a cause of my grandon's gastritis! birth mom could not care for them and was very relieved i stepped up to the plate, as were my kids. there is a part of the brain that cannot switch. part of what causes ocd or what appears to be "oppositional" behaviour. this is why you haven't started your own tread on anti-adoption. you can't even switch out of the gastro-intestinal thread to do it. so, from here on in:

THIS WAS A GASTRO THREAD THAT TOOK A DIVERSION. IT NOW "IS" A GASTRO THREAD "AGAIN". BE FORWARNED. IF YOU ARE SUCH AN ADVOCATE FOR YOUR CAUSE, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. START YOUR OWN THREAD. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. YES, I'M HOLLERING IN CAPS. DO YOU HEAR ME?

this thread is about my grandson and not about YOU.
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