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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do you ever really know someone?      Home login  
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 5
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Do you ever really know someone?Page 1 of 1    
I don't think it is possible to have a "perfect" marraige. Just wondering what that really means to you.Maybe he has been living a lie to himself and also thought the marraige was perfect.
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 6
Do you ever really know someone?
Posted: 6/14/2009 3:18:43 PM
Well- I seem to think we subconscously see things that are
there but we dont let them get in the way of our happiness that
we are experiencing or living our lives.

We carry on as if it is not there and hope to God it goes away.
It never does though - it just grows bigger and bigger until the
monster is unleashed and then we stand there holding the bag thinking
"what the fcck just happened" - but we know all along its just a matter
of time before it rears its ugly head.

We dont know people - even the people who are the closest to us.
We dont know them because they dont want us too.

Some people are really open and share everything with us right up front
and then some are so quiet because they are afraid a bone might fall out
of thier mouth so they really only either tell us what we want to hear or
limit thier information to us - us being who we are accept that and go on -
as if nothing is going on.

I think you knew deep down - there are always signs.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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Do you ever really know someone?
Posted: 6/14/2009 3:59:18 PM
To answer your question in the title of the thread, no, because I have known people for 20 years that suddenly do something so out of character that it just throws you for a loop. Then you realize that obviously they only showed you that portion of their character that they wished you to see.

OP, it is easy, if you are doing the children thing, to just keep going about your every day life and not realize there are problems. You still do things as a family, as a couple, and if the other person doesn't say hey, I'm not happy, he doesn't overtly appear unhappy, you can overlook it particularly if you are not a suspicious type of person, not dishonest, you don't think there is anything to unearth.

Curly is also correct, there were things, if only picked up by your subconscious, that you chose to overlook or more correctly, your conscious mind did not acknowledge. Give it some more time and do some looking back. I have in some ways been hurt more by friends than romantic partners; it's a chance you take when you invite people into your life because only they know how honest they have been with you and themselves. It is much more a kick in the gut when it was someone you entrusted all of yourself too but time does heal.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 13
Do you ever really know someone?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:06:17 PM
No ...... you never really know what is on the mind of someone.

No matter how well you think you know them.

Sixteen years with one gal ..... found out by total accident 10 years later - she was screwing some guy while we were married.

Twenty years 2nd wife ...... no idea of her secret hidden agenda ....... none.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 14
Do you ever really know someone?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:15:33 PM
We spend a good portion of our lives not even fully knowing ourselves. With every circumstance that comes our way, we change and adapt our way of thinking, so how can we even begin to "really" know someone else. Fret not OP, this is just part of the journey. Go with it, learn from it, take from it and learn more about yourself in the process. Life's really a blast if you don't dwell on what was but look forward to what can be.
Do you ever really know someone?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:44:29 PM
Until we come to a time were we can read each other's minds, I guess you truly never know what another is thinking or doing. You can just hope for the best and be be diligent looking for and not ignoring any red flags.
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