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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > women as pure sexual objects      Home login  
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 carlos64030
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 2
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women as pure sexual objectsPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Hmmmm... I personally find it awkward to even suggest sex to someone I barely know. Your figure of 80% of men wanting sex immediately seems a little exaggerated.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 5
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:25:06 PM
Welcome to the pond!

Take the poem out of your profile content.

Yes...I know it's beautiful, but there are some men who will read way more into those few lines and misunderstand your intent.

Lots of great guys here who do not view women purely as sexual objects. Honest!

Give the site a chance. All the best to you!
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 6
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:31:59 PM

80 percent of men

I'm not sure what kind of vibe you are putting out there, but my percentage of men who have asked this of me is a big fat 0!!!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:42:12 PM

i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this

Since it's YOUR view that having sex on the first date makes you a ``cheap slut,'' you are the one objectifying yourself. If you weren't you would not label people by their sexual attitudes.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 18
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:57:19 PM
If you have chemistry with that person and you want him why not? it's up to you as has been said to set the tone for how men should treat you then go from there respectfully.
You are not a slut if you want to have sex with that person on the first date, guess what that means he's attracted to you and wants you. If you objectify yourself wrongly then you are beating yourself up over nothing.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:08:21 PM
I always come up with a snarky response, like "no - that's what my FB is for" or "I always have sex before I meet new guys" or "not usually, most men don't like dildos used on them right away", or "I'm not sure you're good looking enough to have sex with". I get the question often enough to get creative about it. I don't take it personally.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 22
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:10:51 PM

I always come up with a snarky response, like "no - that's what my FB is for" or "I always have sex before I meet new guys" or "not usually, most men don't like dildos used on them right away", or "I'm not sure you're good looking enough to have sex with". I get the question often enough to get creative about it. I don't take it personally.



Perfect womaninprogress....I can never think of the clever stuff to say...thanks!
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 27
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:40:08 AM
forgive me for not reading all the replies but to answer the original post..

if he bought you an expensive dinner first, would it still make you a cheap slut if you slept with him??
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 30
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:51:20 AM
After 5 minutes, we've probably introduced ourselves to each other and are no longer strangers! I almost never initiate a conversation about sex on the first date or two, but I've found that women often will, and if they like me will often want to do more than just talk about it.

I like a little buildup to having sex, so have often found myself in the odd position of trying to slow things down! Many women don't follow their own rules - unless they don't like the guy.
 jolee1155
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 31
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:57:50 AM
I'm a man, and I fantasize about being a woman's sexual object. Probably most men and women at times want to feel that way. It voids responsibility: "She/he made me do it. I was just a sex object/slave." We all feel embarrassed and guilty about sex, and being powerless let's us really kick back, relax, and enjoy it. I wish that women would be bolder in this age of women's equality. Most things that turn us on stem from childhood fears and crises, and sex temporarily neutralizes then. So it's all psychological sex play. Being treated as a sex object by a loving partner, with whom one shares the day-to-day "normal" experiences, is just a spicy-hot way of enjoying each other.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 32
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:50:36 PM

We all feel embarrassed and guilty about sex, and being powerless let's us really kick back, relax, and enjoy it.


HUH??

sex never renders us powerless unless bondage is involved and either you like it or its illegal. Which could make us feel guilty or embarrassed I suppose (ponders)



If I had that special someone in my life, I would be his adoring sex object anytime he wanted . Hmm I would probably be his "cheap slut" too..
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 34
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:46:43 PM
its called networking, probibly 5% of the guys are making really indecent proposals to 1000 women whether in person or via the computer (knowing one or two are going to go for it)
years ago one of my roommates cousins used to continually drag women over to our house. -he was scrawny and nowhere in the looks dept. -however i would watch in dismay as he would make his way through the bar asking every girl in there if she wanted to go home with him and suck his d**k, -unbelieveably he would get a taker -usually slutty, gross or ewwwww type of women, however he got results.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 36
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:36:48 PM
Msg: 1, WERE I to date you, it would be BECAUSE I had a sexual
interest in you. That SHOULD be UNDERSTOOD. I'm not as crude with the
subject matter as your previous experience seems to indicate, but I
will NOT date a woman UNLESS I have a sexual interest in her. I would
ask YOU out on a date BECAUSE of that interest, even though everything
on the SURFACE would simply be dinner and drinks.

The WOMAN'S **DUTY** is to UNDERSTAND this interaction. Yes, I said
****DUTY****. She accepts OR rejects the request for a date BASED on
this DUTY. If she rejects, she discharges that duty. If she ACCEPTS,
she renews that duty.

In MY "Imaginary World", if a woman accepts the proposal for a date,
she ALSO accepts the possibility of sexual activity. The DATE is
simply a mechanism to ASSESS such possibility.

Again, in my "Imaginary World", I EXPECT a response to my overture,
either positive or negative. If I detect the possibility of a positive
response, I will pursue what I consider to be a viable relationship.
If, however, I detect NEGATIVITY she will never hear from me again.

I NEVER **FORCE** or **IMPOSE** myself on ANY woman. If I sense the
need to do that to fulfill my desires then she is a WASTE of my time.

The expression of my desire for deeper intimacy is a request. Her
subsequent behavior becomes her response, which, if it is LESS than
enthusiastic AUTOMATICALLY **TERMINATES** any further interaction I
will have with her. My request was SENT. Her reply was RECEIVED. That,
in itself, SHOULD **TERMINATE** the nauseous bargaining procedure.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 37
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:47:33 PM
Starregeezer, I think the difference in how many (if not most) women's perspective differs from yours, is that women see sex as an augementation, or by product, of the relationship itself. The relationship is the goal and the sex is hopefully a happy benefit to both. You appear to have sex as the goal, and hold that as the essence of the relationship.

The only DUTY I would hold to my partner, is to be open, honest, loving, communicative, supportive and be me! My duty could never be an outlet for his sexual expression. I would consider loving sexual exchanges as our gift....to each other.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:25:05 PM
All you gotta do is clean your pipes before the date. Twice if your 20-25.

I agree with this, even for women - if you don't have pipes, substitute above advice for "take the edge off". The way you do this is your choice, and your business. No one should go on a date with raging hormones. It runs you the risk of not using your common sense. It's no more productive than going to the supermarket starving with an unlimited spending budget.

will not lie I like sex, but to me I wait for the woman to so interest in sex.I would not mind a woman that only wanted sex for sure.

There's a shocker! lol
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 45
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:34:22 PM

Because guys are guysand can be sluts too!!.


Yep. I'm a slut. Hey, if everyone just outed themselves and admitted it, then there would be a yellow ribbon around each tree in this forest, and all the sting would be forever taken out of that word.

OP, my theory is that, of all the personal things men might discuss with a new female acquaintance, sex is probably the one he feels most confident about. It's his strength, and for that reason alone, wants to show it to you. So, the bull takes a run at you. Just step deftly to one side as he charges past you, maybe wave a red banner in his face to work him into a lather, and let him charge again. Repeat, and at some point, when you're still standing there, he'll get winded. Then, you can safely approach and talk with him. About almost anything.
btw, toreadors get to wear snappy flashy outfits with jewels on them and stuff. And the bull never wins. Try cunning instead of outrage, and you can bag the bull. He might, just might, be worth it, under the initial bravado.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 46
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:58:01 PM

Msg: 37 -- The relationship is the goal and the sex is hopefully a
happy benefit to both.


I agree, in part, but when ONE in the relationship has a negative
regard for sex, do you REALLY expect it to last for long?

I think the term "FRIGID" applies EQUALLY to man or woman. I have seen
"FRIGID" complaints from BOTH genders, which tells me that sex could
be FAR more than perhaps a mere "happy benefit".



Msg: 39 -- I will not lie I like sex, but to me I wait for the woman
to so interest in sex. I would not mind a woman that only wanted sex
for sure.


I do the same. I think most women have grown bored of sexual
expression from men, so I limit it to simply asking for a date and
leave the rest for her. If she fails to show interest I know she is
wrong for me.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 49
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:10:23 PM
OP: Put some verbiage in your profile which makes it clear that you're looking for a friend/companion for activities right now. There's nothing wrong with stating in your profile that that's as far as you want to go right now. Otherwise, you're going to have to deal with overtures constantly. That's the nature of dating and it's not going to change. Be clear about what you want and screen guys well.

EDIT: It looks like you did mention seeking friendship in your profile. Put that verbiage in bold and go from there.
 2HEDZ
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 50
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:34:45 AM

why is it thta 80 percent of men say they are okay getting to know you and within five minutes go into the do you do sex on first meeting i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this


whats wrong with asking that question? if the answer is no and the guy ditches you then he did you a favor. maybe the guy just wants to know if you're a rude or not i mean having sex on the first date doesnt mean you're a slut, cheap or otherwise.

i'm all for bluntness when it comes to asking questions on a date. why wait until three or four dates have gone by only to find out your date isnt what you're looking for?
 JaysonLee23
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 52
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:15:26 AM
THANK YOU.

I dont know what else to say. That was great. You are a phenominal woman for that post. I just wish more women used their brain like you do.
 clito
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 53
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:00:39 AM
Dear mbade:

Stop talking like a cheap slut!
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 55
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:45:17 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry OP if you keep on getting the wrong guys, I don't know why. I'm not saying they don't exist and I did have a few. But not 80% of my contacts.

And @cruzzinbruzzin: I read your profile, I don't understand why you received the riot act for your descriptive words geared towards intimacy and attraction to a woman?

Just another mystery in life as well as on Plenty of Fish I guess....
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 60
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:30:09 PM
I worked very hard to become a sexual object!
Hey carlos64030 too bad you find it awkward - I bet a lot of women have been disappointed!
I always thought whytwater was a slut!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 61
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:31:20 PM

, WERE I to date you, it would be BECAUSE I had a sexual
interest in you. That SHOULD be UNDERSTOOD


So your sexual interest are based solely on physical attraction??

I prefer to actually meet someone and speak with them to see if they can stimulate my brain and funny bone.....not just my eyes.


The WOMAN'S **DUTY** is to UNDERSTAND this interaction. Yes, I said
****DUTY****. She accepts OR rejects the request for a date BASED on
this DUTY. If she rejects, she discharges that duty. If she ACCEPTS,
she renews that duty.


you can stick your DUTY where the Sun don't shine!
I accept a date.....to get to know someone....
to see if we might have that "chemistry" that might lead to the bedroom.
Just because I accept a date from a man........does not mean I accept the fact we WILL have sex.


In MY "Imaginary World

I'm pretty sure by this post......and the many of your posts I have read.....
your sex life is definately "imaginary"
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 65
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:21:26 AM
Hey Inc

Many of us women would like to be treated like sexual objects too!
We just want it to be with that "one special man" !
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