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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?      Home login  
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 The1AndOnlyGaz
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 2
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I agree with you there ok some guys are going to be into porn but to not just be honest and upfront about what he was doing was just was wrong if he lied once he is more than likely to do so again like you said get rid.
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 3
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:22:41 PM
OP,
Let me get this straight. She installed a keylogger without his knowledge to gather keystroke and screenshot information. She got what she was looking for, he lied about it, and she questions if she should stay with him?

Both of them are messed up, in my opinion. Him for the endless porn...her for questioning if she should stay with this guy after she got the information she was looking for.

The answer is no.
And, I'm thinking there were enough red flags available that she didn't have to install invasive software on the computer.

Paul ;)
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 4
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:13:45 PM
Ok she install a keylogger on his comp? Without his knowledge? Isn't that a federal offense of some form?

she has to WONDER if she should break up with him?

And who is she to say he is a pervert, to each his own a long as everyone is over 18. Just because she didn't like it, doesn't make it wrong. but what she did was very wrong.
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 7
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:55:09 PM
Were they living together?

And I still say she skirted the legal issues, how does one have authorization to install a keylogger? Unless the comp in question is for a company you work for, and or if you are the IT gurus that fix them.

That still does not explain why she though she had right to know whatthe hell he does on his comp in his own home on his off time, late at night, or dead noon for that matter.

She is trying to justify her actions by blaming his actions. 2 left turns make a U turn not a right turn.

She had doubts, that is when if she didn't get her answer she should have just walked instead of playing the justification clause.
 southbabe
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 8
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:00:30 PM
yeah really if she had to go through all that what the hell was she doing with him in the first place...
 southbabe
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 10
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:25:42 PM
wow, this reminds me of a friend I had that use to check her mans boxers when he came home at night after being out with his friends.. its just crazy..

I really don't think she had the right to do that .. and if she had that much doubt about him and what he was doing she should have just walked away.. geese

Not that I like to promote violence in any way but, if some dude did that to me I would so kick his a*s .. then I would go back to watching my porn.. ffs
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 11
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:50:51 PM


why she though she had right to know whatthe hell he does on his comp in his own home


What if he was into child pornography? What if he was distributing porn himself, of himself, on the internet? Is he allowed to keep that a secret from her?

She felt she needed to know before she became further involved with him.
People have a right to find out what is going on with their significant other
when that person is hiding something.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, darlin'.
If'n the little filly had enough red flag type thoughts runnin' 'round inside her pretty lil' ol' head, she should have just skeedaddled. But that does not in any manner give her any rights to wiretap his personal computer. Yeah, I said wiretap. Personally, I think he has grounds to take her to court on some kind of tort (invasion of privacy, ID theft, etc) and have the county DA prosecute on similar grounds.

What I think of the wanna be stallion is immaterial - she had no legal relation with the fool in question, the computer was not hers, nor was the domicile in which the computer resided.

Now do I think either of these two imbeciles are relationship material -- uh, NO!

Now, hop up on that $50 saddle you're sportin' and think over the rights and wrongs of this lil' ol' case.

TK
{$50 saddle, I believe that would be from the same folks who gave us the now classic Yugo}
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 12
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:51:21 PM

I really don't think she had the right to do that .. and if she had that much doubt about him and what he was doing she should have just walked away.. geese

That says it all right there.

Paul ;)
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 17
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:12:35 AM
WWTW26, you can attempt to justify what your 'friend' did all you want but its wrong...plain and simple, perhaps your attitude would change if your SO did the same thing to your computer/phone/whatever.




'She told him she knew all about what he was doing with cam strippers, named them, and told him exactly what he did with them.'

I think she truly must have been filled with understanding and empathy while she revealed her knowledge about his PRIVATE affairs, did she also tell him how she found out about it or was that one small and inconvenient truth?


Its what he's into, so what? You know your friend pretty well and since she isn't entirely turned off by this guy(as evidenced by her wondering what to do) has it crossed your mind that maybe there is a degree of 'kink' in your pal? Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 18
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:48:51 AM

Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)




Best,

ACP
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 19
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:23:08 AM

You know your friend pretty well and since she isn't entirely turned off by this guy(as evidenced by her wondering what to do) has it crossed your mind that maybe there is a degree of 'kink' in your pal? Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)

Kudos to 776877 for framing this properly. Setting aside the keylogger issue...She got whatever evidence she was looking for and she STILL questions if she should be with the man or not?

OP...if it really is your 'friend' we're talking about, I think she's as messed up in the head as the guy she's so horrified about.

Paul ;)
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 21
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:38:25 AM

Why is someone messed up in the head for finding out what's going on?

You're kidding, right? Yes...I caught the edit...the message is the same.

If she was SO worried about his affairs that she had to install a keylogger (or hire a private detective) to find the truth, then she should have no issues making a decision about where to go after that. Instead, she questions if she should stay with him or not?

That, my dear, is someone who has some issues of her own.

I'm done with this thread.

Paul ;)
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 23
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:44:44 AM
They are a good match. He is dishonest and so is she. He has stuff to hide and she is a sneaky snoop. They could play cops and robbers happily for years to come. Both agree that the ends justifies the means, and neither trusts the other. Two peas in a pod, they are.
 LaughterReigns
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 24
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 11:44:27 AM

People have a right to find out what is going on with their significant other
when that person is hiding something.


I agree with this statement...that's how I found out a boyfriend I had was on a dating website listed as single and available, not to mention the adult website he was on looking for threesomes and whatnot. And no, I'm not judging, I'm just stating facts, the fact being that if I didn't do some snooping on MY computer, in MY apartment, I would have never found this information. He also surfed the net for single women in our area who were looking for a relationship - this was while we were living together. Oh, he apparently has a porn issue too, but compared to everything else, that was not a big deal.

Do I feel guilty about snooping? Nope. Am I glad I did it. Yes. Am I proud of it? Hell no. However, compared to lying, cheating and getting someone pregnant (yup), my snooping was nothing. I figured he opened the "snoop" door when he did what he did. Oh well, such is life, and it goes on. By the way, he is the first person I ever snooped on...then again, he's the first person that lied to me about almost everything...so in order to find out the truth, which he always avoided, I snooped. Would I do it again? No...because I have no intention of EVER dealing with, a lying, cheating, self-absorbed guy again, so there will be no need to snoop.

You cannot imagine the pain this man put me through. So condemn me all you want for snooping on him, I honestly don't care.
 LaughterReigns
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 26
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:32:32 PM
A piece of advice - tell your friend to get out! He will not change, and things will most likely only get worse. Tell her there are nice, honest men out there and leave him to his fantasy women. He is LYING, no matter how she tries to convince herself otherwise (believe me, I know). She will be the only one hurt -- he'll be just fine. If she likes emotional rollercoasters, tell her to stay. Otherwise, she can get off the ride because it will come to a crashing halt, and it won't be fun. I wish her well.
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 27
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:41:38 PM
If you feel you have to snoop then there is CLEARLY an issue at hand...when you smell smoke there generally is a fire. Doing anything illegal to find out what someone is doing is WRONG, period. If your friend is so confused then ask her why she hasn't left him yet...the answer being..'.he's a really nice guy in so many other ways and we are really good for each other', or similar will issue from her mouth. Its her call, you gave her your opinion.


As for calling him a pervert puulleez! I can bet you a dollar fifty that there are things you are into that someone somewhere thinks is pervy and possibly illegal, would you like it if someone described you as a perv? Try not to be so judgmental and outraged, after all its between your friend and the guy she is STILL with
 italianboy_77
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 28
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:48:27 PM
I cant believe this question is even being asked....give him an ultimatum...the porn or u, plain and simple. I think porn itself is pointless but for a guy to keep looking at it and hiding it from his spouse makes him an untrustworthy dumbshit and should be kicked to the curb
 ic3y369
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 29
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:39:51 PM
lmfao!
sounds like it should have never started in the first place...
she has trust issues and he isnt even attracted to her anymore...
shouldnt he be in the room ****ing her rather then playing around
stranger prolly halfway across the world??? lets just say ...
it was probably meant to be... they are both dysfunctional in their own ways

maybe she should work on not invading his privacy thats sick and wrong
is she a control freak? maybe she should get a pet...
at least they will heel , sit or roll over on command XD
 jamnmamabear
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 30
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 6:49:35 PM
Dog has indeed the loyal beast qualities we women seek in our man...sigh... I don't understand why the woman won't make the decision to end the relationship... if she caught him, and he has been lying, well, enough said! It is easy for us all to say so, yet when in the relationship we all know it's much harder to do! (I speak from experience about this as well!!)
But, i think if there is something positive to say about what he did, at least he wasn't going for a drive every night and bringing home some disease she will have to live with long after she has booted his butt out the door! (unless he was doing this while she was at work during the day!)
Sometimes we women hang on in hopes that we can change him, she needs a little courage and some counselling - even phone a help line - and something she can find in herself - self esteem, pride, self respect...I wish her the strength to put his bags to the curb - and let him keep the computer - it's just a bad memory!
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 31
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:51:05 PM
Why hasn't anyone asked the question? Did she bother ASKING him BEFORE installing the keystroke logger what he was doing?

I read through the posts and didn't see if that was the case, so if it was, ignore me

If I am doing something that "she" feels is suspect I expect her to have the maturity to ask me straight up. If she sneaks behind my back like a untrusting little snoop (without asking me about it first) - she's gone, out the door in a heartbeat, no questions asked - I can't stand snoops. Have the intestinal fortitude to ask me about it or go away.
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 33
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:35:50 AM
He was lying about porn. HOWEVER, what your friend did was criminal. Seriously criminal. The fact that she's still with this guy in spite of her ill gotten information tells me she is a criminal and a loser. He is just a loser
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 35
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:03:57 AM
It is not legal and it is criminal in spite of your childish Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah Nyah rant. Just like a wiretap or putting a hidden camara in a bathroom. Just because you are allowed to use the bathroom doesn't mean you can use it criminally. By using your distorted assholic female logic then - just because I don't have a sign posted by my house that says "Please don't burglarize" it is okay to burglarize? You're a dope
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 38
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:47:07 PM
First of all if he is doing that she has every right to dump hiss sorry butt. You have a girl right in front of you and your surfing porn? Im not sure but i think any woman would feel hurt by that and the cam thing is just too much. Secondly, Installing a keylogger on any persons computer. You must have their consent to do so. The owner of the computer must be told beforehand that a keylogger is being placed on their computer and MUST agree to it. If your friend did indeed place a keylogger on his computer without his FULL knowledge AND consent she did break the law. Having access to a computer and putting an invasive programme on it are two completly different things. Just because ive lent you my car doesnt mean you have the right to alter it or change some of its parts. Cases where it is husband and wife is not at issue here as being husband and wife the comp was probably considered jointly owned.boyfriend girlfriend is a different matter altogether. It all comes down to who is the owner of said property.
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 40
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:58:24 PM
re read my post ive edited it. Like i said it comes down to who owns the comp. If you think its legal to just install a keylogger on anyones comp your most certanly wrong!
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 42
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:03:08 PM
if your given the authority to USE a computer it doesnt mean you can install invasive programmes on it. your logic is flawed and you need to do a little more research yourself. What if you lent your boyfriend your car. given him full authority to use it and he placed a lowjack or some kind of gps system to track you? Would this be legal as well? NOPE! I guess you just dont get it. Oh well...
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