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 restless_native
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 11
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Logistics before getting to know someone for dating.Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Relationships are built on taking time to get to know someone and not on the results of questionnaires.

To me this just highlights how artificial this online dating malarkey really is. You can't expect to find someone who meets your own specific list of criteria as easily as if you were choosing groceries in Tesco.
 ibakecakes
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 12
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Logistics before getting to know someone for dating.
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:00:01 AM
There are many people on here who are single parents and therefore find it difficult to arrange dates. For me, this site provides me with the fun of chatting on here of an evening once my children are in bed, to see if we get on. Yes, it's not ideal to have to wait days or weeks before you get to meet someone but hey, we chose to have our children so can't complain (not that I would). All it means is that things have to be arranged a bit more rather than an off the cuff meeting that night. I actually quite like the fact that there is a build up and excitement before a meet.............
 Mizanthrope
Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 19
Logistics before getting to know someone for dating.
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:05:11 PM

No disprespect OP but I don't feel that much in a rush at this moment to send someone a questionairre on their availability or state of singledom. I much prefer to just sit and chat and if someone appeals to me after maybe a week or two of emails/msn, then Ill meet up....what is your rush I have to ask?


I have never understood the whole must meet ASAP thing some people have. I am pretty sure you could save a lot of awkward and uncomfortable meetings by spending longer online getting to know one another. For me if anyone was unwilling to to do that it would have to be an immediate indication our intentions not being the same, for example he just wants a shag, or he is desperate and will take anyone. If he is just not comfortable communicating online well that is fine, but he is not the sort of person for me.

To me the only problem I would have with someone like the OP is that the future relationship is one with three people not two, which is why I choose not to consider men with children. If nothing else the man in OP's case would know where he stands from the start.
 Mizanthrope
Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 20
Logistics before getting to know someone for dating.
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:35:45 PM

what is wrong with a 30-90 minute coffee meeeting ?

Not much pressure there is there ?

"awkward" ? what it is awkward to meet a fellow human being now is it ? ....And chat for 30-90 minutes in a public place over a coffee ? Jees the horror of it !


Okay it is probably just me but I do feel there is some sort of pressure, such as how to let the person know in a polite way I have no interest in them, will they turn out to be some sort of nut and get abusive. Maybe it is because of bad experiences but why would I put myself through that when I don't have to? Thus I would prefer to find out online first if they are just incompatible and save myself that trouble.

We are all different, I could never get up and do a speech in front of a group of people either while some people can't see how that is a problem.

I am comfortable spending time to get to know people online and I agree it is not the be all and end all but it is a damn good starting point for me. As I said if you are not comfortable with that then you are probably not the sort of person for me, and if you expect a meeting after one email then I am not the sort of person for you. To each their own.

I am just saying I don't understand the urgency of meeting now, now dammit NOW. Sheesh ...I don't really turn into a pumpkin at midnight.
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