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 markjasi1
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 1
Some unsolicited fathers day advisePage 1 of 1    
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF FATHERHOOD

1) LOVE THEIR MOTHER-
Give her a hug, often, and in front of your kids. Speak to her with respect. Listen when she speaks, and make sure your kids see you doing it,if they know that you listen to and respect her, they will too. Marriages end, your obligation to their mother doesnt.Even if your not married to her anymore, find a way to love her.

2) BE BIG-
in spirit, being a father is not a walk through role. Your kids expect stature from you, because you are the anvil that they hammer out their deal with the world. Be a presence in their lives.

3) BE SMALL-
Give your children room to rise and fall to their own challenges. You are not there to fight their battles, just to pick them up, afterwards. Now and then, tell your kids you were wrong,and are sorry for behaving badly.We all fail from time to time. Teach them that the true measure of success is, going from failure to failure, still pursing excellence, undaunted and unafraid.

4)BOB AND WEAVE-
Be adaptable, dont make to many hard and fast rules.Dont always insist on having your own way. The rest of the world may not be overly interested in the sound of your voice, but to your kids, it is everything. There is a big difference between power and authority, own the first, never abuse the second.

5) COME HOME-
There are many distractions in our world,things that drag you away from your children, none are ever a good enough reason. Come home, nothing as good, in your world, will happen until you do.

6) SAVE AND SPEND-
Your kids can drag you to the poorhouse, four dollars and thirty -five cents at a time.Teach them to respect money, not worship it.Spend it, and save it when and where you can, while you can. Know and teach them, to recognise the difference. Teach them that the best things in life, are not things. I used to believe that money couldn't buy happiness, but now, Im sure.

7) NEVER DANCE IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS-
Pride is what you should exude, because proud is what they want they want to be.This is a no brainer. Don't be tempted, ever.

8) LEAVE THEM ALONE-
Your kids are not your second chance.We seem to be most upset with our kids, when they remind us to much of, us.Help them follow their own path, not your road, not taken.

9) LIVE HEALTHY-
Show them that the road to happiness stars at how you treat your body, Teach them the importance of exercise and staying active.They will thank you for it, the rest of their lives, their long, long lives. Lead by example. They need to visit you, as an adult, at your home, not at your graveside.

10) LOVE THEM
Unconditionally,and with out reservation, hold nothing back.



bradley
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 2
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Some unsolicited fathers day advise
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:52:21 PM
I hope you were joking about #7, someone that can be silly with their children does not diminish his stature in their eyes.

The rest, good rules to live by, for either gender I suspect.
 SpecialHeartedLady
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
Some unsolicited fathers day advise
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:59:51 PM
Wow Bradley!

What an awesome statement you have made here, especially the first item. I'm amazed. It's soo darn good to see a man "gets" it.

Cindi
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 4
Some unsolicited fathers day advise
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:18:57 PM
Ninja say:

High kick! Fatherhood style! Practice makes perfect.

Good post.

::nod::

Ninja approved.

::ninja vanish!::
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 5
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Some unsolicited fathers day advise
Posted: 6/18/2009 6:01:07 AM
Have you been watching the turtle show lately, mainlining highly sugared cereals or just turned to crack out of the boredom?

Mr. Blblblbl, I never know how many of those to do, lol. Anywho, I agree with the OP on that one but you are also correct in that sometimes it wouldn't possibly be appropriate to be doing it "a lot," nor perhaps possible on either side. I am the type not to hold grudges so in a perfect world, I might hug my ex if we had a more traditional visitation schedule, much like I hug my brother and sister in law right before running out of my mother's house with glee to head back home to Texas.

My ex is generally not a nice person, big, big on grudges, but he has actually hugged me a couple of times since we split when the kids had me in tears and angry to the point of not seeing straight, primarily when I went through the highly frustrating process of getting my health and particularly my brain back. Now, if there was a man in my life, never would have happened, not because of the way I am, but the way he is.

When I read it, the sentiment seemed more like it is a bit ridiculous that we treat exes so differently from other people. It isn't a bad thing for kids to see that mom and dad couldn't live together but they don't hate each other and care about each other as human beings. Some people are not huggers but if you are one, does it make sense to purposely not hug an ex-spouse because of they are an ex? I think it is for many, a Catch 22.
 Donna7488
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 6
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Some unsolicited fathers day advise
Posted: 6/18/2009 6:53:54 PM
This is great advice for both sides of the equation! Too often we get so wrapped up in the small details that we forget to look at the big picture. Thanks for reminding me!
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