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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > how many parents does it take to rasie a child?      Home login  
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 tass08
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 9
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Good job derailing another thread conscioussoul.


OP they're probably calling for her to be fired because the economy and the current social welfare scheme depend on as many parents working as possible. (Canada's social welfare scheme is light years ahead of my country's, but still.)
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 13
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:45:31 AM
Splenneitk, it is the difference in the Canidian and American system of welfare. Please see Teflon Man, they go into great detail about the system there.

Conicoussoul I am beginning to really destest you. It takes a lot more to be a parent then reading a book. Have some kids of your own then you can tell the rest of us how things "should be" I would like to see the research methods applied to your sources. I mean how long was the study, what was the sample population, income status, etc. I'd also like to know the margin of error. How much of the compiled data was skewed. You seem to take these books, and or studies as gospel. Trust me they're not. It is all in how the data was compiled, and who is funding the research.

Now to the point that I really wanted to make. It doesn't matter how many parents are involved as long as they love there childern. That is the only hard and fast rule to parenting. Biological childern or not. Like today I am making homemade chicken soup for my son's half sister because she has an upset tummy. Childern will be okay, it is the support network parents use that makes the difference. Oh I fall into the other catigory (sp). I am a single dad, but I use my ex wife as a support, as uses me in the same way. Again it is for the love of the childern.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 14
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:04:22 AM

Takes a village with lots of resources


... the joke amongst my friends, and my sons who've begun to pick up on things, is that it may take a VILLAGE to raise kids, but it only takes ONE Capitano to PAY for it...

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 17
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:41:29 PM

I am sure the readers will gather how important these research findings are, and why I am insisting on these forums that a single mother should rather be with their kids and be on welfare than work and not be with them. This research results also explains why I have been such an advocate of unconditional love and of using positive parenting techniques rather than punishment.


Dude, put down the textbook and back away.

Nononono.... step AWAY from the book, go find a woman, have unprotected sex with her until she gets pregnant, let HER decide whether or not a child will be born, allow HER to make ALL decisions in regards to what will happen with that kid, allow her to decide whether or not you should be involved with that kid besides paying her money....

.... then, report back to class so we can ALL understand how much your INSISTING has any effect whatsoever.....

My sons would call you a noob (newb) if you were involved in one of their computer games, let alone a far more complicated game... like LIFE.....

 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 18
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:52:53 PM
It would do you good. You might even find your testicles.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 19
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:10:51 PM

You mean I should follow your lead?




woo, buk lernin an funy.....

.. erm, well, no, I wouldn't recommend following my lead. I would tell you to follow what I tell my sons to AVOID what I suggested so you never have to be IN the position of trying to INSIST that people do something....

... and, my advice to you, grasshopper (thanks, gadget), as I tell my sons, would be to NEVER live with a woman and get a vasectomy as soon as you can.

 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 20
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:16:48 PM
NP Capt. He really grates my nerves. He needs less books more life.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 21
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:25:28 PM

He needs less books more life.


Yup. My point zactly, though I just couldn't find the zact words you used.

How'd you do that? Be succinct like that? Geez, sometimes I'm a bit obscure and tad too subtle in order to spare the feelings of boneheads....

.. ah, well, I'll go buy a book and learn how to do this writing thing properly.

 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 22
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:37:37 PM
Perfection. Thank-you now if you could convince Lizbeth I'd be a happy man.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 23
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:38:36 PM


So whoever said it would be better to live on welfare to be with your child 24 hours a day and 365 days a year is a moron and should get their head out of fantasy land. Or you could stay there and when i get tired of reality ill come visit you


Who said that?
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 24
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:02:56 PM
Concioussoul did messages 6 (the book) 8, and really confirmed it on message 10. Hmmm maybe he's just thinkin about job security and doesn't really believe the garbage he writes?
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 25
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:57:17 PM
I know a way to keep you warm in the winter ;)

A space heater. lol. I know how cold I was in Buffalo in the winter. So I can imagine how cold it gets in NB.
 radioop
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 28
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:16:22 AM
Then by ALL means,...... close your eyes to the truth ! for I am about to burst YOUR
Bubble,. Kids need both parents, YES they can survive and grow with one,........
However,......... if you think for one second that ONE parent can teach them everything they need to know, give them all the LOVE & nurturing that they need.
then GO SEE a DOCTOR because that lump on your head has gotten to your Brain !


a SINGLE, father with custody of HIS children !

Joey
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 30
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:40:15 AM
Joey of course both parents are needed or our biology wouldn't be the way it is. Ideally it is two parents, everyone agrees there. We're not asexual amiebia after all. The question is more about the less then ideal situation. Happy Fathers day ATW.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 31
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:36:23 PM
Progress Conscioussoul, I may have to retract my earlier statment. We will see. And thanks for the father's day wish

And thanks to everyone else that wished all us dad's a happy father's day.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 33
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:01:37 PM

You mean I should follow your lead?


I stand corrected! and especially to itsallinthesoul, for pointing it out with respect.



I would tend to imagine there there is still only very little studies performed equally on any parents regardless of gender, so perhaps the study findings could only be concluded for mothers;


I really suggest you might have a narrow view based on the institution and their own potential agenda. Something a scholar should be aware of and should make concessions for.


Dufur, Mikaela. and franklin, Ammon. "Differences in Adolescent Sexual Outcomes in Single-Mother and Single-Father Households" Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association Annual Meeting, Sheraton Boston and the Boston Marriott Copley Place, Boston, MA, Jul 31, 2008 . 2009-05-23

Abstract:


Research on family structure has led some pundits and scholars to claim important sex-based differences exist in parenting. Recent research suggests that any existing differences might be explained by the absence of a second parent rather than specific sex-typed parenting. However, little research has examined potential differences in sexual outcomes between children in single-mother and single-father families. This paper presents individualist and structuralist perspectives for potential differences in adolescent sexual activity and outcomes. We test these explanations by comparing single mothers and single fathers in the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (N=2,181 mothers and 230 fathers) and the National Longitudinal Study of Youth 1997 (N=2,154 mothers and 257 fathers). Preliminary results suggest no significant differences across the sexual outcomes comparing youth in single-mother and single-father families, providing support for the structuralist perspective.



The School Performance of Children From Single-Mother and Single-Father Families:
Economic or Interpersonal Deprivation?
DOUGLAS B. DOWNEY
Wichita State University

Very little is known about the academic performance of children from single-father families. How do they achieve in school relative to children from single-mother and two-parent families? Do the same processes posited to explain the school performance of children from single-mother households account for the educational performance of children in single-father homes? These questions are addressed using a nationally representative sample of 8th graders from the National Longitudinal Study of 1988. Eight different educational outcomes are compared for 409 children in single-father, 3,483 in single-mother, and 14,269 children in biological two-parent families. Children from single-father and single-mother families perform roughly the same in school, but both are outperformed by children from two-parent families. The intervening processes explaining school performance for children from single-father and single-mother families are somewhat different, however. Economic deprivation, or the lack of economic resources, is more useful for understanding the school difficulties of children from single-mother families, whereas interpersonal deprivation, or the lack of interpersonal parental resources, provide a more accurate description for why children from single-father families do poorly in school.



Journal of Family Issues, Vol. 15, No. 1, 129-147 (1994)
DOI: 10.1177/019251394015001006



www.aifs.gov.au/institute/info/bib/separation/fathers.pdf



- (Family Relations - Jan. 1986) by Barbara J. Risman, Professor of Sociology and Anthropology, North Carolina State Univ.
[Sampling of 141 single fathers -- those who fought to get custody came out exceptionally well.]

"... 4 out of 5 fathers did not rely on outside housekeeping help ... ."

"... the traditional assumption that children belong with their mothers after divorce needs to be re-examined."

"... social workers and counselors employed in family court should be aware that females do not necessarily make better mothers."




5) Single Father Caretakers : Demographic Characteristics and Adjustment Processes
- (American Journal of Orthopsychiatry - April 1982) by Pi-Nian Chang, Ph.D., and Amos S. Deinard, MD; Dept. of Pediatrics, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
[A study based on 80 fathers with custody. Of 275 contested custody cases, fathers " won" 61 (22%) in that the father was awarded some form of custody (joint, split, sole) but only 41 of these were sole custody (14.9% of the 275).]

"... fathers sought custody because of their love for their children and their confidence in their parenting ability."

"... most of the fathers demonstrated satisfactory adjustment."

"... the presumption that the mother is the better parent .... and thus better fit to be the custodial parent, has dominated most divorce hearings and court decisions for the past 50 years."

"The societal attitude that fathers should be working regardless of the presence of dependent children ... ."

" ... Single custodial mothers, on the other hand, have the option of either working or staying home, either of which is condoned by society."



[quoteInfants of Primary Nurturing Fathers
- (The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child - Vol. 38, 1983) by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry, Yale University
Studies of infants reared by fathers. The summary is illuminating:

"One of the more intriguing questions raised by the assessment of the infants is why these babies are developing so well. Most of the babies seemed to have a heightened appetite for novel experience and stimuli."

"... the father's role, even when not primary, has been vastly underestimated."



Differences in Children's Behaviour Toward Custodial Mothers and Custodial Fathers
- (Journal of Marriage and the Family - Feb. 1982) by Anne-Marie Ambert, Department of Sociology, York University, Toronto
[A study of 20 custodial mothers and 7 custodial fathers. Three main findings: children had a better relationship with the fathers than with the mothers; those in custody of fathers verbalized their appreciation more; and children of low SES mothers were more dysfunctional that those of higher SES mothers. In general, the fathers did better than even the high SES mothers. Write expressed great difficulty in locating custodial fathers anywhere -- especially on the lower SES scale In the cases studied, apparently the father had to demonstrate greater assets in order to gain custody. -- MHN]

"All but 1 of the fathers who sought custody had to contest it, while only 3 of the mothers had to contest it. ... 2 women had not wanted custody but had had no choice, 1 father had deserted, and the other was mentally incompetent."

"All fathers had at least 1 son, 3 had no daughters."

"... striking difference ... children's general behaviour .... ."

"Since most children are awarded to their mothers at separation, a mother-headed family is the situation in the majority of cases. Yet these same mothers, mainly those of lower SES, fared less well than the fathers."

"... mothers tend to be more restrictive and authoritarian in the first 2 years after separation."



Parent-Child Interaction and the Acquisition of Lexical Information During Play
- (Developmental Psychology - Vol. 16, #5 - 1980) by Elise Frank Masur, Department of Psychology, Northern Illinois University , and Jean Berko Gleason, Boston University (supported by a National Science Foundation grant) and several others
"Fathers were also more cognitively and linguistically demanding..."

"Children, in turn, produced more total vocabulary to fathers than to mothers."



Childrearing Fathers in Intact Families, II : Israel and the USA
- (Merrill-Palmer Quarterly - Jan. 1982) by Norma Radin, University of Michigan, and Abraham Sagi, University of Haifa

"... both social learning theory and reciprocal role theory suggest that youngsters in families where fathers are primary caregivers will adopt non-sextyped perceptions of mothers and fathers."

"... children reared in homes where fathers have a major role in their upbringing, tend to be more internal, more empathetic, and hold less stereotyped views of paternal role."



Games Fathers and Mothers Play With Their Infants
- (Infant Mental Health Journal - Winter 1981) by Michael W. Yogman, M.D., Associate Chief of the Child Development Unit, Children's Hospital Medical Center, Boston, Mass. and The Harvard Medical School.
"... fathers as well as mothers can establish a direct social relationship with their infants."

"In contrast to mothers, fathers more often engaged in limb movement games in which their behaviour attempted to arouse the infant."

"Father's play ... more likely to be proximal, social, physical, arousing, and briefer in duration, and fathers reported that they enjoyed it more than mothers. Infants at 8 months responded more positively to play with fathers than mothers and at 2 1/2 yrs. of age not only preferred to play with fathers but were judged to be more involved and excited with them." (This style contrasts to mothers' which seems to be oriented toward care-giving and to playing structured games. The fathers choose to stimulate the infants more, as reported in other studies. -- MHN)




so perhaps the study findings could only be concluded for mothers


perhaps the issue or question you should be asking is why are you only seeing or studying one side of the table?
 Florida_Or_Bust
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 34
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:20:24 PM
How about one dedicated parent surrounded by a village to back them up? If there is more than that call yourself lucky.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 35
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how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/22/2009 3:48:58 PM
"sure will. Sorry for my strange question. I am very afraid of flying due to two events that happened on the same trip, one on the way to my destination, the other on the way home. The plane didn't crash or anything, it was just very frightening.

As sometimes happens with people and their irrational fears, I read about and investigate plane accidents all of the time."

Ditto on the candle. Oh FS you shouldn't be afraid to fly. The maintence requirements are so high on Aircraft. It takes 2 years of solid schooling to earn your Airframe and Powerplant lic. Most aircraft mechanics will despose of a defective (less than perfect) part out of an adbundance of caution. Afterall, your name is on every part you touch, and no one wants to go to jail for the rest of their natural life, for a error. Esp. on commercial aircraft and military aircraft every 6 months the plane is completely disassemebled and rebuilt. Not only that according to some, TM's depending on time, and or part you would have to have conduct an NDI/NDT non-destructive Inspection and Tests. That is why flying is the safest way of travel. Well in the West.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 37
how many parents does it take to rasie a child?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:38:50 PM
LOL according to Hillary, it takes a village
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