|POF LessonsPage 1 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)|
|Assume people are not quite as unmarried as their profiles would indicate.|
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:49:21 PM
The PERSON they are is impossible to know, regardless of what anyone writes, until well after the first meeting. So despite all the protests about superficiality, physical appearance is all we have to decide by(for that first meet) and interests mentioned. I'm afraid I cannot entirely agree with this either. Physical appearance is important, I agree, but I also feel that you can tell a great deal about a person by what is written in their profile. Physical appearance is not "all we have to decide by" and in my opinion, it doesn't even form the majority let alone "all." I'm not claiming that a profile tells us all we ever want to know about a person, but it tells us a lot.
Incidentally, when I first got on POF I was wrong about my height. I said I was 6ft 3in when I was actually 6ft 4in. I must be one of the rare few that said they were shorter than they actually were. Do women really care about height that much?
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:04:57 PM
|I have learned many valuable lessons from here. |
#1 when you aren't looking is when your prince will find you
#2 I attract all the creepies...except for the first prince
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:14:22 PM
|Don't be afraid to write to people without photos. |
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:05:39 PM
|My lessons mainly come from posting in the forums. But before I get started on this topic, in most cases height matters to women and cup size matters to men from what I have read.|
I am still working through my POf lessons in the forums. One would be ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't take the bait. Two would be, don't sound so sure of yourself . . . or something like that.
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:38:43 PM
|You can say what you want about me but I am easy to bait. I will not disagree. Some people are way better at ignoring comments they do not like that I am. |
Why don't people call me Jane?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:06:35 PM
|I'm pretty sure most men do consider height an issue. No one has shown any interest yet, and I'm guessing at least part of the reason is that I'm 4'9" and say so on my profile.|
Things I've learned from POF:
1. 'Fishing' has changed considerably in the last 18 years.
2. An older body (and therefore photo) is far less attractive to the opposite sex than a younger one was -- even to those in your same age group.
3. There is an astonishing amount of wisdom and insight being offered in these forums.
4. There are a lot more people on the sidelines of love and seeking their counterpart than I ever suspected.
5. There are a ton of perceived 'rules' to dating I had never heard of, and each one has about as many proponents as contradictors.
6. What people take the time to write in their profile isn't necessarily true, yet they expect it to draw a match with whom they will be compatible.
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:42:22 AM
|My lessons learned are to trust my online instincts.. |
... yes, partly by photo (shame on me), partly by the written word (snob that I am).. but I've never yet been totally off-base when I listened to those instincts.
Even if the "chemistry" is not there, I have never yet met one man, or woman for that matter, whom I liked online that I disliked in person or vice versa.
I believe that most times that the 'signs' are there, in the eyes, between the written lines.. you just have to know how to read them.
Hence I have concluded from POF:
# of women that want to date short men = # of men who want to date fat women.
I'm not quite sure how to read this.. that few women want to date short men and that few men want to date fat women .. or that, fortunately, short men like fat women and vice versa
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:55:01 PM
|^^ Am I still candidate for the father of the lesbian love child?|
Lessons? Well...messages this long cannot be posted.
Meh..you take the good with the bad when dealing with the online world. A lesson for one may not be the same for another.
Oh yeah..don't copy and paste messages. It doesn't work... *shut down again*
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:46:13 PM
|Another lesson . . . do not take posting too seriously.|
This is just forum life and in a few weeks it will be all different.
I am still working on not being baited because as soon as some one disagrees with me I want to defend my point. This leads to all types of inanity.
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:49:59 PM
I'm hoping that the guy that just sent mo-mo and me the identical heartfelt (copy and paste) letter
saying he's the 'real deal' learns his lesson.
What a dumbass.
you two too eh ? ....guess he likes rainbows! ...hehehe..ahem
the real deal needs to get reel......
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:00:19 AM
|Don't send the same copy/paste letter to girls that are on each other's favorites list |
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:01:30 PM
|Okay, I have done really well at not taking objections about comments people made about me today and there were several. My POF lesson is sticking.|
I am staying out of that tolerance thread now because it has turned ugly. Yup, I am not going to get defensive. People do not change their minds I have found when I have defended myself so it is more or less pointless.
There was a cryptic post from someone who deleted herself today about me understanding something I didn't. I said nothing. The lesson here is that people can come and go in the blink of an eye. I guess we are all just passing through and will invariably move on. It is just a matter of when.
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:08:18 PM
Don't send the same copy/paste letter to girls that are on each other's favorites list
^^^^ lmao -- very good advice ....hahahahaha
however i guess some fellows are jsut tired of thinking and try to get as much mail/male out there as possible - hoping one female might bite ..... whatever works!
oh and network , network ..ask your friends first if they dated him ......
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:10:08 PM
|I am finding the superficial is a little foolish. You may have a picture of your ideal partner in your mind, but it is only ideal. While like most women, I like tall men, I will make exceptions. Nothing is carved in stone.|
IMO and my opinnion only, I think the #of women who date short men>#of men who date fat women. I believe this because women seem more willing to make concessions than men, which is why there are more overweight men out there than women, who take better care of their appearances. It seems that it is more social acceptable for a man to have a stomach than a woman. All of this is just a little food for thought . . . or not.
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:45:42 PM
|I think that explains a lot because sometimes I get a message across and sometimes I dont. Someone suggested that people with IQs greater than 2oo were in the chosen club. This confused me because IQ is more or less constant. How could my IQ vary? |
BTW . . . Humans do not have IQs over 200 as measured with the popular Intelligence tests we use: the WISC and Binet(sp.?). Here in Canada we use the WISC. The other test is a French invention and the mean or average score is 100. On either test, slightly over 100 is a very good thing.
The bottom line is there are no chosen people or fish here in this great aquarium. I think this in itself is a good lesson.
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:14:26 PM
I think it's the characters that count the most... maybe it is 200? I have never actually counted but, if I rambled on long enough I could get past that darn 2 in 10 rule. I wonder if a space counts as a character?
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!
Love the conspiracy theorists though
That being said, some users do get posting "rules" tacked on to themselves such as minimum character counts...
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:05:39 AM
|The 2/10 rule can be bypassed by anyone...anytime. Post 200 characters....then edit your post taking the extras out....but I didn't tell you that... |
I don't see filters crashing...but, then again..I know nothing about how these things work..lol
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:41:32 AM
|that its easy to treat someone like they are merely pixels instead of the fragile person on the other side of the monitor.|
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:50:35 PM
Yup the fancy house, trips, 5th wheels, cottage on the lake, money just don't cut it for me...............that is all "stuff".............give me the "real" any day of the week.
Can I have that stuff if your finished with it....
All I ever got was soul and "real" and it made me bankrupt financially and emotionally
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:35:36 PM
|that if you make a thread that is fun-spirited and not offensive to anybody, it will be deleted.|
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:39:30 PM
|^^ or if some people are over sensitive about anything and think everything is about them or not about them that they will run to the mods and or request delete ....sadly , yes all the fun and light and feel good th reads get deleted for some strange reason|
sigh - lets go eat some chocolate and count our STUFF
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:31:56 PM
| You just joined and you are slinging mud. Please back up your statement with evidence and please do not use me as evidence. I am ego-sensitive but I shake it off at breakneck speed, Buttercup. Shaking it off was about lesson 10 000 for me.|
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:42:28 PM
|I learned that I need to be less selective, not to prejudge and to take time to know anyone who shows interest in me for love may comes in many forms and from any direction.|
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:59:29 PM
I can go to a bar and pick someone up right now,
So many guys think this is like a Victoria's Secret catalogue - "I want a blond for this weekend, a redhead for next weekend, and maybe a brunette for in between when I get bored".
I suspect it's probably the same for some women, too. But gosh - it's always a shocker when the opposite sex doesn't just throw themselves at your feet, isn't it. Online dating ain't what it used to be - real people are here with real intent and are real picky. You can't just order up a date - you gotta work for it.