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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Girls making the first move???      Home login  
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 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 2
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Girls making the first move???Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Guys think it would be pretty awesome... if it ever actually happened :p
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 3
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:59:11 PM
If the guy likes the girl then he likes when she makes the first move, if he doesn't then he doesn't. It's the same thing guys go through all the time, but women who do it are often hurt by the rejection because they aren't used to it. Watch out dating at work though, that can be bad news.
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 5
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:17:55 PM

It's great, but don't try to be overly subtle about it... we guys can be pretty dense about picking up on the 'signals'

Words of wisdom there, ladies with the guts to make the first move should listen to this man.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:39:31 AM
Good for you OP. Sometimes you have to go after what you want (figuratively, of course) because it's not coming to you anytime soon.

Go for it.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 15
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:22:34 PM
I personally think it's pretty nice plus that way I for one at least know that there is at least "some" interest and I won't get the email and have it go either read/deleted or unread/deleted. Plus in todays society with women wanting to be thought of so badly as equals, which I see nothing wrong with, then they should be willing to step up and make the first move. It's just as easy for them as it is us and I personally think there's less likely chance she'll get rejected as quickly as we men do. So, GO 4 IT ladies!
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 17
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:27:31 PM
This happens to me all the time..
I am flattered but if I feel the gal only wants to use me for a boy toy, I am better off turning her down.

Somehow I am having a very tough time believing this to be remotely true, probably a crude attempt at humor, but not a very good one.

PS,, A beautiful gal showed me her very perfect butt this last weekend and told me when I stop being stuck up I can have her.
She has been trying to get me in bed over 4 years.

Sorry, but again I have to call (cough) bullshit (cough) on this one. Unless you are gay you'd have to be an absolute imbecile to pass that up, if she is as beautiful as you claim.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 18
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:35:21 PM
A word of caution.

Think about the awkwardness if it doesn't work out.

I mean, you're talking about a workplace relationship.

Many companies have policies against such things.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 19
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:50:28 PM
No don't do it!! What do you think we men are? Meat, body parts, sausage for the taking. I bet'ya also have dirty, naughty thoughts as well, right? Well stop that, we are not that easy.
 Jupiter Rising
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 21
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:21:49 PM
Agree with AwP, Mr. "witty" said it well.
 Jupiter Rising
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 22
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:36:43 PM
Oh. I'd like to add: I think women "make the first move" a lot. They just don't usually do it the way we do. Men are expected to be direct, "Would you like to get together sometime?". "Would it be ok if I call you?". "Would you like to: go out? have dinner with me? etc.

I think women..usually..do it by flirting, eye contact, special smile, making physical contact (hold on. don't get overexcited. I mean touching a guys forearm gently as you talk with him. Touch on the shoulder, the hair, as u walk by and say hello (this is with someone that you have already been introduced to). Invite to a party a friend is giving.

I realize the topic is really about women using OUR...that's right, OUR! Divine, God Given right to the "active" rather then the "passive" approach. But...yes, gentleman, good-natured playboy and man-about-town that I is..I mean..am, I am willing to succede my right, temporarily, for any women here to try it out and see what we poor, oppressed men-folk have to go thru when we get rejected after using the direct approach. (see you can weasle out of the passive attack by, after being told "No", saying "Oh. Wait. Sorry. Did you think I was asking you out?. Oh God, I'm so sorry. You just looked so down I thouht maybe going out and doing something might cheer you up. I was going to also ask (fill in the blank: Peter, Jane, Armond, Beatrix, George, Paul, John and Ringo.......) to join us".

LOL.

Anyway, I agree with everyone in here, if you feel like doing it, hey go for it. What's the worst that can happen? I will say though, that I must be a little old fashioned in that I think I might prefer to be flirted with etc. so when I ask, I get to think it was all my idea.......Harry
 L80nw8ng
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 26
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/3/2009 2:44:42 PM
Ok, I've been on both sides of this fence. And I choose to be pursued.

Its not so much how I think/feel guys perceive it. Of course most guys prefer girls to make the first move... it requires no effort on their part. And what kind of precedent does that set?

My experience has taught me that when I make the first move, the men I attract are lazy in relationships.

I side with biology... sperm is cheap; eggs are not.

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:12:00 AM

Either way,if he likes you or not,he'll like the attention,very good for the ego!
Trust me!!

Doing anything based on ego is an outdated concept. If I can live without ego strokes, so can others. Therefore doing things for a man's ego is irrelevant.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 32
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:50:27 AM
Meh... if you don't ask, you don't get.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 34
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/4/2009 6:02:22 PM

I work with the guy so I don't want to be infront of a whole bunch of people but I don't want to look like a stalker and walk around the place on a hunt hehehehe.


Workplace relationships usually don't work. Really, you ought to be able to find someone in the big, wide world who doesn't happen to work in your office/store/plant. It's a huge loser move for all sides concerned. My brother-in-law, who is an M.D. had an associate (also an M.D.), who almost ruined his whole practice over a relationship with a receptionist. How laughable and unseemly is that? Might as well have flushed his medical license down the toilet. No matter how well-meaning both parties are, these office relationships stink up the workplace and tend to distract all the other colleagues/employees/coworkers.

So, here's what you should do: don't approach him in front of your coworkers, and don't approach him privately, either. Let it go and find a prospect you can have a normal relationship with. Don't be a ridiculous loser with the workplace comedy.
 read2009me
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 35
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:45:15 PM
There is nothing more alluring and sexy than a woman with the confidence to go after what she desires.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:32:48 AM
For women who are afraid men won't ever put in effort if you make the first move - just don't make the second move - those who die out are your suckers. Those who make a second move might be keepers. Duh!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 40
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/5/2009 11:49:51 AM
^^^Ok, maybe not afraid - a different word. But you do the right thing. You show initial interest and they don't respond - you move on having saved time.

You won't end up with a guy who makes no effort unless you make all the moves. Refuse to make the next move unless/until it's matched from the other end that's all.

I will let a guy know I like him and move on - it's up to him to stop me and make an effort to do something about it. Those who don't I know would have just humored me or were too lazy to elaborate. Simple.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 43
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/5/2009 5:19:34 PM
In 3/4 of my ltr's the woman made the first move. It can be a smile, eye contact, a comment, whatever. Essentially you are letting the guy know your are open to his advances. I rarely approach a woman unless I get a subtle "invitation". Some men are clueless so women may have to go a little further. However, do not become the aggressor. That is the man's job. It will turn off most men.
 buttafingas
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 44
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/6/2009 1:29:48 PM
Go for it, it's pretty damn sexy when a confident woman walks up & picks a guys as the object of their affection. Seriously it doesn't happen that often & would be pretty refreshing every now & then. & as many of us have already said ... I cosign what Mr/ Witty has said... the subtle approach really doesn't really work all that well with guys ... Not sayin you gotta beat us in the head with a frying pan or anything ... just be confident & direct so it leave no room for guessing ... But do please be careful of workplace relationships... Corporate America does tend to have issues with that.
 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 45
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:41:01 AM
heres what i always found humorous. women have fought for years for equal rights and stuff like that. but when it comes to something that works in their favor, they refuse to budge. see, men don't have the option of letting women come to them. we have to make the first move. or we don't get dates. and its not always easy for alot of guys. personally, i think women should get off their high horse and do what men have been doing for centuries, asking women out and risk being rejected. i know many men, that don't ask out women cause of t his fact.
 voicebridge
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 47
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/30/2009 6:59:48 PM
When I was younger in HS I had the girls always making the first move, which totally spoiled me. It happened less frequently in college and has stopped now, that I am graduated, for the most part.

Nowadays (I'm 26), in the real world women rarely make the first move and honestly I am finding I like to initiate things anyway, which sort of sets the pace of the relationship, but it has definitely opens you up to more rejection.

Women Initiating reverses the roles and this can confuse things. Women seem to resent making decisions or having too much control and would rather let me do most of it, which is fine.

I do, however, appreciate some reasonable signals of interest so I don't make a complete idiot out of myself.
 soflnighteagle
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 48
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:06:18 PM
There is no one answer to this question because there is just too many variables. IMPO if a woman approaches me I would be more than willing to spend some time with her and see if any kind of relationship could form, but you must understand that the guy just might not see the relationship going in the same dirrection that you would like it to go.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 49
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Girls making the first move???
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:36:01 PM
Women making the first move? mmm never had that happen , that would be a dream to be spoiled rotten, going someplace and women initiating the talk and asking me to dance or go out, only in Bizzaro world. In my world , I have not seen it.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 50
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:46:01 PM
I love women making the first move. I was seduced by my first girlfriend. I was indeed recently seduced again. But I believe all women do that, it's only that guys are so clueless that they do not see the signs, or the clues that women give you.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 57
Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:14:21 PM

Its perfectly fine for women to make the first move.

But remember NEVER CHASE!

Ugh I agree. If you have to chase something by default, it's not really for you (or that into you). That goes for men do. Just don't do it....no means no. Period.

your odds of getting rejected increase. Whenever you are taking the initiative, it's riskier because you have no idea if the interest is going to be reciprocated.

It's amazing to me how many women don't really get the fact that most of the men they approach won't be interested - because those are the odds and you can't know before approaching who's going to be mutually interested. As clueless as some men are reading body language - women are worse. And men are easier to read, since they're not experts at subtlety.
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