Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Friend or Girlfriend?      Home login  
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
Friend or Girlfriend?Page 1 of 1    
My manager touched my hip once...

I think you're over-reacting. If he full out grabbed you- or something to that effect, then maybe.

Touching your hip... and he's known you for five years? It's entirely possible he could have been suprised by your reaction too.
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 3
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:21:02 PM
You can surely over-react and never see or talk to him ever again or, you can simply do what few people do and talk to him about your thoughts on the two of you dating.

Og course ihe conversation does not need to be so straight-up and forthcoming like “I do not want to date you so leave me alone as you made me confused and uncomfortable” but rather something along the lines of “I got to think the other day after you grabed mr by the hips, would I like to get to know him more on a personal level? And my answer was no since I like the current dynamic we both have”.

By saying something like that (except better!), you do not make him feel cornered, bruise his ego as you are only talking about yourself.
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:10:52 PM
This is a guy who has been a good friend thru thick and thin for 5 years, and your first reaction is to cut off all further communication with him!? It sounds like, reading between the lines, that you wouldn't necessarily be opposed to the idea of you and him, if he could be exclusive. If he is truly your friend, you talk to him about the situation like an adult.
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 5
view profile
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:15:07 PM
He doesn't have any automatic right to touch you because you are a friend, no-one does. It doesn't sound as if you felt it was a friends gesture anyway. At the least, it seems to have been a clumsy and insensitive approach as there was nothing to warn you this was likely to happen. Putting a hand on your hip is not the same as an arm round your shoulder, for example. If you aren't interested in that kind of relationship with him, it sounds like you need to tell him. If you are, but don't want to if he's going to be with other women too, then maybe you should communicate that. If he generally sees more than one woman at a time, then he may not want to change this, in which case you may need to draw a line. Unless you feel his behaviour was positively creepy, I can't see why you'd need to cut all communication, just set the boundaries.
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 6
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:15:16 PM
yea...maybe you are over reacting...
i mean, it is definitely not the most sensible of appropriate manner to approach someone but whatever, you can overlook it :)
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:52:22 PM
You're over reacting if this is really a friend as you say. Ask him if that was personal or playful. What ever the case, tell him what your boundaries are in the friendship. If he's truly your friend, he will respect them.
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 10
Friend or Girlfriend?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:46:52 AM

When I was putting my daughter in the car and buckling her in, he came up behind me and put his hand on my hip. When I jumped he laughed and asked if he didn't have the right to touch me since we've been seeing each other for so long.

Are you more upset he touched your hip or that he said "we've been seeing each other for so long"? Some people translate "seeing someone" as dating someone. Why not ask him why he said that and what does he mean by seeing. I think you're looking too deeply into a phrase.

The hand on the hip wouldn't bother me personally. When I go out and dance with guys I don't know, sometimes they touch my hip. Doesn't mean I have romantic feelings for them. I mean did he come behind you and try to hump you? Now that would be awkward.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Friend or Girlfriend?