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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > She is barely legal, He is 48      Home login  
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 kasia kisses
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 1
She is barely legal, He is 48Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
With out man bashing here, I just don't get it.
What is the commonality of a 48 year old male, seeking out a 18 or 19 yr old lady.
Is it purely sexual ? I see it more and more on dating sites, Men in their late 40's saying they are only seeking 25 and younger. I know there is a core need for men to reproduce, spreading their seed sorta thing. Seriously other then that, why do men do this? Is it an ego thang.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 2
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:47:15 AM
Thing is... you may never know. I think there are as many reasons for it as against it. It really is about the two people involved and their personal choices. Funny thing is... some of those couples will make it and some won't - just like any other couple scenarios.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 3
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:53:36 AM
I am inclined to agree with Catkin ... it's an individual thing.

That said, I also am inclined not to judge. If the people involved are happy and treat each other well, I say GO FOR IT!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 4
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:20:41 PM
the youngest man that i have dated is 21 yrs younger and the oldest man that i have dated is 18 yrs older
lonliness isn't fun. sometimes variety can beat boredome when Mr. right hasn't popped around
only human
 LKN4MYLAFAWNDA
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 5
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:49:36 PM
why do you care? Men want younger, hence more fertile women. It's evolution, stop trying to figure it out. Not only is a young woman generally more fertile, but also moreso for a longer period of time.
 stunt groom
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 6
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:40:23 PM
Blaugh..in most instances you are correct, but there are a lot of women over 40 that aren't nasty, that are in great shape and who are really fun! I think you have a lousy attitude. Have any of these men looked in the mirror? There are MANY men over 40 that are sagging, can't make body parts work or who aren't fun...not to mention balding and with beer guts. I know young women whose boobs sag more than mine do and who have cellulite.

It's an individual thing. In my opinion, I don't see how a 48 year old MAN OR WOMAN...would have a lot in common with someone that much younger with them..other than Sex.
-------------------------------

I've only dated women who were under 30 most of my life. But lately I'm discovering there ARE older women who aren't toe up. So, yea I agree with you there. But a lot of the younger ones haven't had a chance to have their minds poisoned by older jadded women yet.. And they still smell and taste fresh..

Most of the (very few) older women who are still hot and don't smell act entitled and spoiled.
 kasia kisses
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 8
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 3:10:47 PM
I just found it very interesting to see how many profiles are up front, off the bat about setting the must be in this age limit. Based on what he is willing to even think about " communicating " with someone online, very shallow requirements and superficial needs. It seems these type of men stereotype with their jaded influences that all woman in their 40's are less fertile, not tight and as in shape bodies, big arses, saggy boobs syndrome, Welcome to 2009 and step up into the new age.
Today's women are lovely into all ages, with all the technology. Many people in their 40's start to keep their bodies so health and nutrition matters, many obsess over the gym, a lot of folks are non smokers.
There can be many good years to be had, 40 is young, people.

It would seem that men in their 40's would be looking for the connection mentally, someone who might have had some experiences in life and will not be so needy, more stable financially and emotionally. someone more of a peer and partner.
I view it more of a very lazy attempt to get laid, instead of putting in the effort needed to see if there is any commonality, something to sustain after sex, why not just do the visual eye candy and see how powerful I can look in her mind test.
Women who are seeking out an older man does so for her many different reasons.
I seem to be more understanding with the younger ones, at 19 most are very naive and looking to exit the situation they are in most likely. The desire to seduce a man is always enticing, knowing most men only think with the little head.
She can be on easy life, if she plays her cards correctly. (nothing lasts forever)
A powerful daddy can bring so many cool new things to see and try, everyday can be like Disneyland.
Many ladies like the structure an older man can poses, confidence, less games. etc.

I am not saying anyone gender is at fault, this has been going on since the beginning of time, the older man/ younger woman. Both I am sure get something, nothing is unconditional.
I just get frustrated when you men cut off a large part of dating population to us women just for ageism .
my rant is done, thank you for listening.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 12
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:36:05 PM
People like what they like! Who really gives a sh1t if a young women gets with an older guy, or visa versa? If it works for them it works for them and is nobody elses business..

Heaven knows i have met many people my age who act and look 20 years older than me, and i'm damned if i want to be with any of them. I couldn't give a damn if they don't like it! I like what i like..

I'd reckon a man who prefers younger women, prefers them for the same reasons a woman my age (me) prefers a man who can still operate sexually and who hasn't let themselves go physically. I guess i'm pretty lucky in that i have a man in my age bracket where everything is still working and he keeps his body in good condition. But if i hadn't been able to find a man like that then i would have looked for a younger man. Shoot me!!!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 13
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:48:10 PM
"Women wouldn't date an 18 year old because of the bashing they would get from other women."

Actually there are some very interesting threads about women dating younger men. Most of the "bashing" came from men.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 14
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History
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:00:34 PM
Because it makes sense. Reasons:

1) Mature women want someone to grow old with, at least when it comes to guys their own age. But feminism has become the victim of its own success. It's been so successful, that the law favours women in all live-in relationships, married or not. Add in that most relationships end in breakup, and a man is risking losing the majority of his savings and assets, and those are what he's relying on for living off when he's too old to work. But young women are the reverse. They don't usually want to marry a much older man. But they are often happy to date a much older man short-term. So they are looking for the same type of relationship as the young woman.

2) Mature women are very firm about what they do and don't want. They can be incredibly forgiving with a young guy. But not with a guy their age. They expect him to have his sh*t together. So things are very difficult for a woman his age. Younger women tend to be much more understanding of an older guy, far more than guys their own age. Plus, older men have been young once. They know a lot of the problems. But they are only learning to deal with a lot of the problems that women their own age are grappling with. So it's easier for them to deal with a young woman.

3) It seems sometimes like the entire world is having sex constantly. All men want to be a part of that. But older men do even more, because they've missed a lot of opportunities working, or being married. They want to get their final shot while they can. However, mature women now tend to say that they've "been there, done that", and that "if all they wanted was sex, they could get that anytime without trying". Mature women don't seem to be that up for sex. Young women are often known to say that they are up for sex first, then seeing how things develop after, and a lot have sex on the first date. It's simply getting what's fair.

4) Younger women in general have great bodies. There are quite a few mature women who have looked after themselves. But if you look at pubs, clubs, and bars, it's the mature fit women who are surrounded by guys now. They have their pick of men. So if you want a woman who is in shape, it's just a lot easier to go after younger women. Not as much competition.

Now, I know a lot of men who would love to spend the rest of their lives with a woman who is looks great, who is great fun to be with, and is very easy-going, who is very into sex, who is going to be fair with them and not screw them over if they split, and who is really into being there for the long haul. But they aren't finding many women like that. So most men I know are staying single, getting laid the odd time here or there, and not much else.

I'm not saying that I agree with it. But it makes sense.
 stunt groom
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 15
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:39:07 PM
One of the unintended benefits (at least at first) of dating younger women is how much it pizzles the older ones when they see you together... Either older women are getting worse at hiding their anger or they're a whole lot angrier nowadays..
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 16
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History
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:38:21 PM
RE Msg: 71 by Arabianangel:

Younger women tend to be much more understanding of an older guy, far more than guys their own age. Plus, older men have been young once. They know a lot of the problems. But they are only learning to deal with a lot of the problems that women their own age are grappling with. So it's easier for them to deal with a young woman.
Scorpio....I think you're confusing "understanding" for "oblivious"....And instead of "dealing" with their issues they somehow avoid them???...sounds like ESCAPISM to me...
It's true that some young women are oblivious.

However, guys just have a different way of dealing with things. Guys grow up being expected to be "strong", to handle their problems themselves. When they don't, they're called weak. Weak men are considered incompetent. Incompetent men are considered incapable to doing something even halfway successfully, and that if they did something right, it's entirely due to others, and they aren't entitled to any recompense for what they achieved.

As a result, when a man does something truly amazing, if he doesn't make sure that everyone knows (or at least thinks) that it was because of what he did, they don't value him, and he gets paid a pittance. Conversely, if a man makes out that he's really brilliant at things, then he gets paid well, even if what he did was really not all that. Men get paid according to their level of confidence, not so much what they do. The same is true of dating, and relationships, and of most things in life. Men are far more successful when they are brimming with confidence, even if they are just not that great a date, and if they lack confidence, then even if they are an amazing guy, they hardly get dates.

So men NEED to boost their confidence all the time, just to get paid well, and just to succeed in life.

Nagging and criticism really knock a man's ego, especially when it comes from the one woman who is supposed to know him better than anyone else, so her opinion is the most accurate in his mind, who is supposed to love him the most, because if she doesn't believe in him, then who else will? and who is supposed to support him the most, because if he cannot get her to back him up when he needs it, then who else will?

The saying "behind every good man is a good woman", really means "a man's success in OUR society is almost totally dependent on his self-esteem, and a "good woman" is a woman who knows that, and who does her level best to ensure that his self-esteem is top notch, because if he has good self-esteem, he'll be a great man, and if he has low self-esteem, he'll get beaten down by society.

Young women tend to be more optimistic about relationships, and tend to be more optimistic that their man is really good inside, and is really capable of great success. Such an attitude helps a man to succeed.

Mature women seem to me, tend to have a much lower opinion of most men, and tend to use that as a basis for judging their own man. When they express that, they're criticising him, and the more respect he has for her, the more he values her opinion, and the more that knocks his self-esteem, which makes him even less successful, which lowers her opinion of him even more, and thus makes for a vicious increasing cycle of lower and lower self-esteem, with less and less success.

Many young AND mature women are BOTH naive, because both seem to think that it matters to be objective with men. It doesn't at all. Praise and criticism are subjective criteria for men, that are simply mechanisms for achieving success or failure. The woman chooses how successful her man is, simply by how much self-esteem he has. When a man gets too****, and starts listening to himself TOO much, and not to others, it's time for a little hard criticism, just to break him a tiny bit, so he'll become a little open to listening to what he needs to do to succeed.

BUT, a man isn't good at being told what to do, because he's taught from a young age, that he must do everything himself. So when he's subservient, he's only subservient when he thinks he cannot do it himself, and that's only when he feels that he's incompetent, and then he feels and acts incompetent in ALL areas of his life, especially work. But in work, he IS expected to do it himself, so he screws up, and gets paid a pittance.

A man needs to be praised and criticised and helped to see moral values, until he believes in himself, but also believes that he should consider his partner's opinions in decisions that affect them both. THEN, when he has a decision to make, he'll seek her opinion on his own, but will still have the confidence to believe that he can carry it through on his own, if need be.

Granted, that seems quite a skill. But that's a role most men are forced to accept on themselves since almost the day they are born. By the time you've gone on a date with them, they're very skilled at it, and if they aren't, they are often a failure at many things, and they'd probably not be the sort of person you'd end up dating.

Many women used to understand this. Maybe not quite in such detailed psychology, but they basically understood it. They would use this to make their men become successful, and to treat them nicer at the same time.

Feminism changed all that. Now, many women consider this pandering to a man's ego. But that attitude is just destroying the confidence they need to get on in the world and be a success. Feminism was a good thing. It just only looked at what women needed to change, and didn't look at the whole picture, so when the picture added more pink, it was just splashed everywhere, and the painting of relationships lost much of its original beauty.

Now, given the choice, the best woman is the woman who understands WHY it's important not to run a man down too often, and how to use his ego for both of their benefits. But failing that, the next best thing is a woman who has a lot of respect for a man, and keeps his ego high, because a man who is overconfident might have problems, but he'll get paid. A guy who is with a woman who is often criticising and nagging him, is far too often lacking in confidence, and a guy who is lacking in confidence, will not get paid more than a pittance, less even than his costs.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 18
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:46:20 AM
Older men get eighteen year old girls for the same reason they buy Corvettes and Porsches, small**** and big wallets.

Eighteen year olds don't know as much about sexual matters, and are less likely to criticize the technique or the size when they are being handed goodies all the time. So he gets to feel like he's a stud in bed, and she gets lots of pretty toys and stuff.

They buy sports cars all of a sudden at this age because they have lost physical strength and need to feel some sort of power and being in control. It all boils down to that.

The next time you are driving, check out the Corvettes and Porsches...the men in them are all half bald losers with guts, or young girls. There are rare exceptions, but EXTREMELY rare.

My friends and I actually have made it a habit to do this, and honest to goodness, it never fails. I think one time we saw two men in the car, and once an older man with an older woman, but that's it.
Beth
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 19
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:45:07 AM
for THE PREJUDICED PEOPLE who say there couldn't be anything in common (and those who call them absurd names) i would differ.
the commonalities of a WIDE age difference are:

we are all human beings.
those who are looking for love seek out those who are ALSO looking for love.
people of ALL ages like to laugh and have fun.
an age difference does not define who we are or who we SHOULD BE.
age does not dictate personalities.
age difference does not pidgeonhole music preference (i like rap and hiphop. i am 57)
age difference does not define gastronomic tastes (i like italian food. millions of 21 yr olds around the world also like italian.)
age difference does not omit political preferences such as liberal and conservative.

i could go on and on. if it's ok FOR RACES TO MIX, it's ok FOR AGES TO MIX. everything is ok today. there is no shame in anything (or so it seems).
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 21
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:00:13 AM
LOL yeah, call me whatever you like, but take a good hard look around. Suuuurrrrrrrrreeeeeeee that's his daughter...honey, she's just the same AGE as his daughter, and believe me, I have NO envy...LOL been there done that! I was a naive 18 year old once, and yeah, the guys in those particular sports cars asked me out CONT
INUALLY, and yes, I dipped my toe in the pool just for fun a couple of times (LOL, what a visual!). My friends, all my same age, were getting hit on by those same types, and let me tell you, these guys were 'seperated' from their wives, or newly divorced, wanting arm candy. They were looking for that fountain of youth, and girls 18 or so were their spigots.

You mention that men that age buy those cars because they can afford them. Hmmmm. My parents aren't hurting for money, and my Dad never felt the urge to go buy a Corvette to wheel Mom around in....however, SHE had the convertible, and now drives a new CTS while he drives the Town Car. They have been married over 40 years, and don't need to impress anyone...they like nice cars though!

Yeah, you can call me a loser too...but I find the whole situation funny, as do my friends. Seeing a bald guy with the top down in a brand new Vette looking for a hookup is hilarious. It's even funnier when I am with my 18 year old daughter and he hits on her, and we have a good laugh after she says 'No thanks' You see, I've already warned her about guys like that.

Yeah, I'm a big ole loser, in my happy relationship, with a man who is very financially stable, responsible, loving, has his Master's degree, yup, I totally lost out in the dating field. LOL

Oh, and by the way, he drives a truck with a dent in it.
Doesn't bother me a bit.....especially when we're taking off for Vegas or somewhere else for a getaway.

Maybe he should buy a Vette....I'd look awfully good driving it! LOLOLOL
Beth
 AngelMixx
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 22
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:08:53 AM
They just want to feel like they "still got it"...that they are attractive to the younger women.
Honestly, the younger women they are with want their money..and to use them. The younger women really want the stamina and swagger of the younger men..and will lust for the younger men...but the old farts are too dumb and narcissistic to recognize the facts. I have young daughters and a son...I know the deal. I am attracted to my age group..you have so much more in common, and makes the relationship easy and connected.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 24
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:19:25 AM
My profile says I'm looking for a date? I thought it said just friends, I'll fix that asap. I only come on here for the forums. Anyone who emails me knows that right off.

My bf is laying right here, and I asked him if I was narrow-mine, judgemental, or bitter. He said I happened to be one of the most open minded people he knew, moreso than he, and it was one of the things he loves about me. Judgemental, yes, to a degree, in that if I have experienced something, or found something to be true, I try not to make the same mistake again, however, I am not PREJUDICED, which is a much different thing.
Then there is bitter.......he licked me and said I tasted pretty sweet to him. LOL
Beth
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 27
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:32:55 AM
Davdo,
Hon, ever own a jetski or a motorcycle in your 20's? Usually it's a bunch of guys that get together an have a ball on the water, or go for the longer rides. Yeah, once in a while they will invite dates along, just to scare the heck outta the girls, but ATVs an jetskis and crotchrockets usually are all guy activities, with a few exceptions. I own a bike, an honestly, I ride with the ladies group here in town. I occasionally ride with the guys, but they like their freedom, and hey, let em enjoy themselves!

Harley riders, for the record, are in a class by themselves. Love love love em, some of my best friends own Hogs, and that isn't owning a 'toy', that is a lifestyle.

But you know what, this is crazy. Date whomever you want. Whatever the reason. What do I care? I got what I want!
Beth
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 28
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:35:19 AM
sweetvibe msg 101 says....


<div class='quote'>Honestly, the younger women they are with want their money..and to use them.

how you generalize. it's of course not true with all of them. you sound bitter.

young girls (just like old girls) just wanna have fun. men of any age can get them that fun.
i'm one of them and it doesn't take a ton of money. maybe once or twice a year an amusement part, perhaps a simple picnic, a ballgame, some nice dinners just like anyone else would do. throw in springbreak in march to Cancun. how much is all that?
get real. if it's OK TO MIX RACES IT'S OK TO MIX AGES. there is NO difference.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 29
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:46:59 AM
Blaugh, true I see alot of young uns teenagers even with flab and cellulite.

Look at the men who want them, should look at themselves, too. Alot of men over 40 are overweight beer belly (means it's tiny down there), balding, etc.

I've dated those large and lovely guys and I know from personal experience. I only ended the relationships cause they lay around like Jabba the Hut, don't work, still lived with mommy.

I'm in pretty good shape for someone who will be 40 in February. Iam mistaken for a 20 something.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 30
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History
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:54:31 AM
Some guys buy a corvette and a porsches because they dreamed their whole life of owning and driving such a car. And it usually takes that long to get the money to buy one. So you are judging someone based on an old mid-life crisis theory. Has there been some survey that backs up your claim?

There are about 30,000 new Corvettes manufactured and sold each year, out of some 16.5 million cars sold (in 2006). I'm sure the number of Porsches and other similar such cars is much less, but maybe all told they add up to about the same number at most. I don't know, but let's assume so for the sake of argument. So you've got maybe 60,000 car buyers max with penis and ego problems, but no money problems big enough (cough, cough...) to nix the purchase.

So, when you work out the math, that's just 1 in 275 cars (less than 0.4%).

Such a number, even if it's off by a factor of two (which I doubt) is hardly an argument for the ubiquity of the mythical universal mid-life crisis.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 31
view profile
History
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:45:40 AM

What you assume about someone who drive a Corvette says more about you, than him.

True. It's always interesting to see what people project onto other people based only on what car they drive... It's kinda like horoscopes, with everyone confined to twelve little boxes. I suppose one does have to keep things simple for the simple-minded.

Cars are not always about trying to impress others. Some people drive performance cars just because they're really lots of FUN to drive. People who tend to view cars and people as merely functional/utilitarian items tend to have a difficult time entertaining that notion, or think it's wrong somehow for someone to take enjoyment in driving, that it's really supposed to be a drole business of about merely getting from one point to another.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 32
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History
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:17:16 AM

Deal with it.Best thing you can do is work on your OWN ass if it's a bit broader than it should be. There is no better way to attract men than to stay slim and fit.


That is not true I saw yesterday an older fat azz woman wearing a white capri pants and no undies with a gorgeous YOUNG good looking Hunk .

Hmm, that gives me an idea, I'll wear bikini made of $1000.00 bills to cover my fat Azz and walk around the beach...................
 wings on my butt
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 34
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:45:51 PM

There is no better way to attract men than to stay slim and fit.



I always find these things hilarious. Very very few men out there who are older look good. Most are fat, old, bald farts with leathery wrinkled skin yet they want a hot, tight bodied younger woman. Look at any group of men from any area and you will see most do not look good and they certainly don't look any better then women in their age group.
 stunt groom
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 35
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:12:34 PM

Who made you the determiner of what's age appropriate, when it comes to automobiles? (Or anything else for that matter?) According to my insurance agent, I become more age appropriate for a sports car with each passing moment.


Sometimes I think the greatest crime against women, is to be a happy male over the age of 40. Or at least a man over 40 whose happiness is not under the full control and regulation of a woman of equal or greater age.


I know the females in the 2 neighborhoods I live in hate it that an older woman ( or any woman) isn't in control of my life or my $$$ .. So I'd have to agree.

Lots of misandry out there. It's ok to bash and hate men in the good ol' US. I often say 'I didn't know it was illeagal to be single and happy'.. Or.. ' I'm not married, I'm happy'....If the bashers don't like men dating down to 18 and even younger in Pa. Then change the age limit...
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