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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?      Home login  
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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You need to qualify it to "some" men.

I talk/have talked to many men who can and like to cook much more than I do. As far as cleaning....geez if someone wanted a maid, he wouldn't be dating me!

Come to think of it, I don't remember any man asking me about either........well not yet.
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 5
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:01:15 PM
Cleaning is not a big deal as long as my partner is willing to split chores.Somethings I prefer to do myself.

Cooking I can cook but only a handful of things and I cook like a guy.I really don't like to cook at all and I'm limited on my skills.It would be nice to find a good women to cook 70% of the time.I'm a very compromising person when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Everything can be worked out among to two grown adults willing to make a comprimise about chores.
 StarliteKisses
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 6
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:16:35 PM
Its important to men because they want to make sure they will get someone who will pick up after them! Actually, I have only had one man who was concerned about having a clean house. When he came over and saw my condo, he saw for himself that I am not a slob.

At some point men will ask if I cook and what I like to cook. I tell them I cook because I have to, not because I like to. If a man can and will cook.....it is SO SEXY! and if he helps clean the house too..... OMG!! LOL! I would be one happy gal! In fact, it will be a MUST that he helps, this time around!
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 12
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:06:52 PM
I guess if the man is the only one working all day and bringing in all the money.Then the wife stays home all day.Its her job to cook and clean. If both are working equal parts then the house work should be done in equal parts.If the woman works and the man dont its his job to take care of the house.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 13
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:11:28 PM
Hey, I'm a guy and I've got the plumbing to prove it, AND I Enjoy cooking. And I am damn good at it. I've also got the library of books from Julia Child to burn it quick on the grill to draw inspiration from. While I prefer to whip up something that is more along the lines of americana / homestyle I have at times tried my hand at somewhat more refined recipes and presentations. I bake and I saute.

As for cleaning, it is the price for living.

TK
{recalls with a chuckle last years attempt at Butte pasties}
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 14
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:20:09 PM
I hate guys with that attitude, makes us all look bad. I can cook - I'm a trained chef - and you don't need a degree to tidy up a little. If domestic abilities are more important to you than the personality of the girl you're dating then frankly it's time to wake up, smell the coffee and walk out into the 21st century. It's lovely out here.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 16
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:26:23 PM
My cooking skills are limited, too. Not horrible, but limited. Plus I don't particularly enjoy it. When I was married, my ex would've loved it if I cooked, but I tried to avoid it as much as possible or at least do the bare minimum. I think both men and women should know how to cook a few things. My ex's cousin is an excellent cook on the other hand. You could call her a gourmet cook and she had all the gadgetry to go with it. BUT the thing that distinguishes her from many women including myself is that she loved doing it AND she was a stay-at-home mom, with a home-based business. It's too one-sided if it's expected that the female work outside the home, take care of the kids when she gets home, in addition to cooking and cleaning. Her partner needs share in those duties, but how many really do contribute...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 18
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:31:17 PM
I know a lot of women that do the housecleaning, it's a good business and really it's not that expensive. Anyone can clean, it's not rocket science to run a vacuum......there's other things I'm better at. (yeah, let your imagination run wild with that..haha)

As far as cook, I prefer to do the holiday cooking the day to day I can't be bothered with and I'm not that picky so I have simple things that I like to eat (Elvis style peanut butter/banana sandwiches....). I'm retired from domestic goddess.....baking bread, homemade preserves, fresh biscuits with sausage gravy and my specialty chicken cordon bleu.

I screen out those that are looking for a cook/maid.
 MrPatient1101
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:37:54 PM
I just dont see why some men are like this. It cracks me up. I personally love cooking, especially for someone I like. It makes me feel good when they say "omg that was soooo good" Cleaning I can do also, I prefer to wash the clothes but I HATE folding/putting them away lol I hate vacuuming but like doing kitchen stuff. Dont mind cleaning the bathroom either. What ever happened to honey-do lists?? I miss those
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 21
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:54:10 PM
I cook when there is more than one adult to cook for. Which means most of the time I don't. But when I do, I use great tastes and fresh ingredients (no canned veggies etc). I can whip up some good stuff on the barbeque too. I'm also up on my "food safety" techniques too, so rest assured no one will be getting ill from anything I do. Not to say I've never burned bacon in the microwave or never had pasta boil over, *&$! happens.

Cleaning should be shared in a relationship. You help put the dirt there, you help clean it up, ya know?
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 23
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:03:23 AM
It's not, at least it isn't to me. I really don't have any problems doing these things for myself when I am alone, so why would I not be able to do them for myself when I am in a relationship.

I think this is really only an issue for men who believe in the old gender stereotypical roles: Men works and does the labour while women cooks, cleans and does the laundry. Not everyone will see it that way but, to me, it's just sexism; there are plenty of men who are for and want equality though.

Personally, I don't feel as if I have the right to force a homemaker role on any woman, just like it wouldn't be right to have certain roles forced on to me based entirely on my gender. To be honest though, there seems to be far more women who judge men on such stereotypical roles than the other way around.


On a side note though, I also really don't think cooking and cleaning are such a big deal. I have been doing my own cooking, cleaning for the past ten years and I am still alive. As easy of a skill they are to pick up, they are still completely non-essencial.

 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 24
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:07:17 AM
In my experience, women view their home as an extension of the person.

That's why they go into panic cleaning mode when people announce they're coming over.

I mean, seriously, I know women that "pre-clean" before a fricken maid service shows up!


Also, I've noticed that women are pickier cleaners than men when it comes to the home.

As for the cooking part...........

I can cook moderately well. But I think the attraction lay in womens' ability to provide for the family....especially kids. Not all men readily know or understand that you don't feed a 5 year old hot sauce, or coaxing kids to eat their veggies. Not to mention, I'm sure plenty of men would overlook even making veggies!
 Telkin
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 26
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:39:02 PM
I'm a fantastic cook, and I generally enjoy cooking. You want to shuffle that off to me, good, but I want to trade over this "laundry" chore, or the "dirty dishes" chore. If I'm paying half the bills - or more - I generally expect my portion of the chores to reflect the effort in the monetary support area. Sadly, my ex didn't see it that way, so I ended up not only paying most of the bills, but doing the laundry, cleaning everything, cooking all the meals, keeping the car running, mowing the massive lawn, taking care of her chihuahua, and doing everything else under the sun that counted as housework or yardwork. At the point I'm doing that, woman better be taking me out somewhere nice once in while, payin' my bills, putting a RING on this FINGER.
But really, she just cheated on me, so I looked about, realized I was pretty much going it solo anyway, then left and got a basset hound. The lack of sex is irritating at times, but as far as emotional support and being snuggly is concerned, the puppy trumps my ex. Even drools less in her sleep.
Net gain.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 31
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:18:53 AM
I don't know, but if they aren't good cooks or good at cleaning, I don't want them either.

I am a good cook, but I do not like to cook. I only do it because I have to.

I clean because like most people.. I don't want to live in yuck and chaos. I will often hire out the work a little.. especially for big jobs that require a lot of cleaning supplies (I get sick when I have to use window cleaner or oven cleaner products for example, but it's still gotta be done).

Too anal to live with a sink full of dirty dishes for more than a day or 2. Too annoyed by cat fur tumbleweeds to leave them a-rolling around. Too grossed out by the pee smell that permeates my apt if I don't keep on top of the litter box. On and on the list goes..

If I met a guy who can deal with all the above... I won't want him. He'd better be able to or interested in doing both. No one LIKES to clean (I don't think), but we can't not do it.
 ElleShooTiger
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 34
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:21:11 PM
Cooking and cleaning are also a form of self-respect, if you eat junk and live in filthy environment, what does that say about you as a person?

I doubt men are looking for somebody just to cook and clean, but they add to the qualities of any person/woman. No need for a mother figure, but some of us can cook and keep our places generally clean, so it's natural to expect same in return. I come from a long line of good men cooks, so if I can cook, its nice if the woman can at least help out or cook herself. The cost of eating out and paying somebody else to clean can far outweigh her paycheck, even more if she doesnt work at all. Its best to share responsiblities, but everybody has to work together.

To turn it around, would you date an astronaut that cant wash his own clothes, lives in a pigsty and couldnt figure out how to boil a pot of water? Probably so because you'd look at other qualities (love, looks, charisma, etc), but men are more logical and we'll assign more points to qualities that really matter, especially when it also relates to raising children.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 35
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:38:27 AM
Op, I've never felt that there was an expectation out there for me to be able to cook and clean from men on this site..in fact far from it. In fact, I think that men now clearly are at a place where they are free to dabble in the domestic side whether out of necessity or interest.

The rise of two-parent households suggests that fathers need to be as fully functioning on all domestic arts...not just cooking/cleaning.

The rise of the cooking show 'spectacles'....suggest that cooking is sexy...being a sexy young thing or an overheated temperamental cooking genius seems to make great tv...for more than just the learnin'...

I enjoy caring for others. Cooking is a way to translate that in a tangible way. I enjoy the feelings that come back to me for that caring. My son loves to have things that are home cooked...it's his preference. Cooking is also social and it's fantastic if you can share your interest with someone close to you. Some of the men that are placing a value here on this...are more about finding people that share a this value. I think it's more about a comfort level in meeting that, than an expectation.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 38
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:45:58 PM
Does it truly lower a woman's worth if she doesn't want to cook and clean for you?

No, it doesn't as life is full of exceptions to the rule.

But on the flip side - men excel at other things and they DO appreciate smell of freshly cooked meal accompanied with her broad smile when welcoming them back home.
Hmm ... and who doesn't like clean and tidy house?! Again, we women are a bit mad when it comes to arranging household stuff in our order and turning a house into home. Afterall, making a nest is not only for a season
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 39
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:30:14 PM
I haven't noticed this at all. In fact, the men I've got to know have always wanted to cook for me. They did well too, much better than me :). I don't generally offer to cook though, especially if I don't know them well, so they probably jump in there first. I also think people tend to respond to what you 'offer' them in conversation, so if you are conscious of your cooking abilities and start talking about cooking early on, then any astute man is going to pick up on your interest in cookery and immediately ask you about it. Once they realise you see yourself as a good cook, they will also probably hint that you cook for them ... free, delicious food, private time together ... it's ideal. We all tend to notice the things that are already on our minds, so maybe this is why you are seeing cookery in everyone's profiles.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 42
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:30:05 PM
Just one more reason why the single life is so great...one less slob to pick up after....
 Blaq88
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 45
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Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:23:44 AM
hey watch your mouth..lol.. Im the kind of guy who love to cook and clean.. My mom taught me quite well.. Not only do I cook and clean, but I do laundry, sew, bake and clean the hell out of bathroom and stove.. So Im not a slob.. Im a woman dream.. but you know even with those skills you cant make a woman happy..lol
 Gogetter56
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 47
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:08:04 AM
I know that cooking and cleaning aren't everything, but they shouldn't be completely dismissed either IMO. The pendulum has swung too far the other way. That's sad, especially because I see fewer dresses and too many pants. Call me a caveman all you want. Just send me a cavewoman. Now that is sexy :-D

PS: I can cook and clean very well and I like to do both. Plus I can work on cars and am more than very capable on home projects :-p
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 53
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:00:19 AM
I adore my boyfriend, but there is no way in this world he is getting into my kitchen.He has insane ideas about fat and salt and calories, and if I let him cook he would ruin everything out of fear that it w0uld be unhealthy. So, I do all the cooking, and yes, I make good, nutritious, healthy food for us, and I love doing it. I hate cleaning, though, and he knows it. So he helps me by taking the garbage out without ever being asked, picking up after himself, and making himself very useful when it's time to clean up. Thank goodness, because if it were up to me I'd say to hell with the dishes and curl up with him on the couch and watch a good movie!
Oh wait, we do that too!
Beth
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