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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Upward Bound
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 1
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site. Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Damn this is so hard. I have been on this site for a week now and I am having a hard time. Ive never had to go to a singles site before, but I am new to the area and I dont know allot of people here. So here I am on p.0.f.

I was curous to how other women were presenting themselfs so I looked and most of you girls are wearing low cut blouses and sexy outfits. ... I dont have a problem with women doing that on their profiles ,but for me. I am keeping it real for me. I do dress sexy but for my man which I dont have at this time.

The question is and this is for the men.

Are you more likely to read a profile if a woman is wearing a provactive outfit? Also how do you let a man know you are a sexual person... without showing it visually... and maintaning class. When you look at sexy pictures then profiles are you thinking relationship material or fling?
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:01:55 PM

Are you more likely to read a profile if a woman is wearing a provactive outfit? Also how do you let a man know you are a sexual person... without showing it visually... and maintaning class. When you look at sexy pictures then profiles are you thinking relationship material or fling?


For men and women, most often the pictures are they first thing to draw someone to a profile page. They are important, as many of forum posts on here have shown. What isn't important is for the pictures to be sexually provocative. No man is going to get on here and say that they don't like to see pics of women dressed in sexy attire. But I think that, sometimes, it hurts what would otherwise a great profile page. One of the things that bothers me the most is women who have sexually provocative pictures, and then fill their profile page letting us know that if we are looking for sex, move on. I will never understand this. I have heard every irrational explanation that is possible from many of the women that do this.
My suggestion is that if you post pics they should be an extention of your true personality as best you can.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 3
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:35:26 PM
1. Sure I'm more likely to...unless of course she doesn't have the body to support it, then it's just kinda trailer-park-ish. More importantly is you reflect you are a fun, energized person in your pics. A few close ups that you'd be happy to give your mom is good.

2. I think my favorite way to express it is "I love making love, physically, emotionally and intellectually." Just stick it in a paragraph somewhere...it's subtle but expressive...and you really don't need to say much more about it.

3. I'm thinking "What was her motivation behind posting those specific pics and writing those specific words. Most people don't seem to really think it about it much...which makes it all the more revealing as to what they're really like.

 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 4
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:11:10 PM
First off, don't go on a singles site, and apologize for having to stoop to being on a singles site; because EVETYONE who reads what you wrote will BE someone on a singles site, The bottom line is that these sites are, far and away, the most efficient way of meeing people.

To answer your question, "To thine own self be true". Post who you are, and what you are; nothing more, and nothing less. There is a LOT more to sexuality than sex; and I find a woman dressed in something that accents her personality FAR more attractive than one dressed in something to accent her cleavage. Advertise what you are selling. If you are selling sex, then advertise sex; if you are selling intelligent outdoors lover, then advertise accordingly. Personally, I don't even want a fling with someone who posts pics of themselves with their top unbuttoned to the navel, sitting in a chair, bent over facing the camera. I feel about boob shots like a lot of women feel about c0ck shots: 51% of the population of the planet are women; and they ALL have boobs. I'll figure out what they look like when the time comes. Good luck.
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 5
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:37:56 PM
I say be yourself.Only present your self in a way that shows what you want or looking for.I look at the whole package;pictures,stats and what you write.I rather have a acurate look of a peron so I know if she might be write for me.
 Upward Bound
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 6
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:43:55 PM
Thank you that was great advise.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 7
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:04:13 AM
For me, the skimpy clothes and overdone look are UNattractive. Too obvious. I can tell if a woman's pretty, even if her photo shows her in jeans and a T-shirt, working in the yard. (And I can imagine her boobies very well from checking out the profile of the T-shirt.) One of the most attractive ladies I've seen on here lives in Canada, very far away from me. Her profile is very witty and detailed, with lots of poking fun at herself and joking around. I could sense her attitude toward life, and it made her seem like a real lover.

Also, this lady had a sort of knowing, sexy half-smile in her picture, like she'd just realized you were thinking about something very, very naughty and wanted to talk about how, where, and when. No skimpy clothes in any of the pictures. although she had the figure for it. I couldn't resist writing to tell her I wish she lived closer, because I thought she was so attractive. BTW, she loved the compliment and thanked me.
 Pete_Paranoid
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 8
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:21:57 AM

Damn this is so hard. I have been on this site for a week now and I am having a hard time. Ive never had to go to a singles site before, but I am new to the area and I dont know allot of people here. So here I am on p.0.f.

I was curous to how other women were presenting themselfs so I looked and most of you girls are wearing low cut blouses and sexy outfits. ... I dont have a problem with women doing that on their profiles ,but for me. I am keeping it real for me. I do dress sexy but for my man which I dont have at this time.

The question is and this is for the men.

Are you more likely to read a profile if a woman is wearing a provactive outfit? Also how do you let a man know you are a sexual person... without showing it visually... and maintaning class. When you look at sexy pictures then profiles are you thinking relationship material or fling?


"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" "Love is blind"

Very good question OP, what I'm about to say may offend you it's in "malespeak" meaning from a man's perspective so you'll need to flip it around so it makes sense to you.
I've only been on this site awhile but a discovery I have made is than men put a lot of importance in visual features and his eyes will trick him in seeing things that aren't really there. So the general rule is the more beautiful, younger, less clothes a woman has on the lamer they will appear.
I'm not saying that you are lame I'm just saying that what you see in the mirror and what we (men) see are two different things.
Which is why when men write to women they think is compatible by their profile, really was never intended for them (who the profile was really intended for, who knows?) and the men will be surprised by an angry response.

Confused?lol
 Pete_Paranoid
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 9
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:55:48 AM

You can advertise what you think a man you would want would want from you. What kind of man do you want? What kind of woman does he want? What does he look for? Your question doesn't say what kind of man you want to attract, so there's no way to answer it. I could tell you how to attract a man if you could tell me what kind of man you wanted to attract.


Relevant and very well said!
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 10
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:57:17 AM
OP, it ain't just women in your age group dressing up like this and displaying their wares.

My guy friend (he's 50 years old) is constantly emailing me links to POF profiles of women in the 50-60 year old age group. Whenever I get one of these links, I brace myself because I know it's not going to be pretty - and I know my buddy is sitting in front of his computer cracking up, waiting for my reaction. In these profiles, the women are wearing lingerie and posing on beds or wearing leather corsets and they're holding riding crops, etc. etc.

It's truly one of the most frightening things I've ever seen and usually requires much brain bleach after viewing. Much as I hate to admit it, the 'skin show' isn't just for the younger set here on POF.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:14:05 AM

I'm thinking that she may be easy. Especially if she already has a kid

If she already has a kid......
thats a bit harsh isnt it
i have four girls all to one father to whom i was married to for 13 years so i dont know what having a child has to do with sexy photos........

I'm not a man.. but I can wager a guess. It's something I've suspected for years actually. It's not terribly flattering actually.

OP.. just be yourself. You don't need racy photos to attract a partner.. unless you WANT the kind of partner who's easily attracted, or distracted, by the next pretty thing. I've been here 3 yrs... met a lot of people.. am in a relationship, but not with someone I met here. My profile does not have racy pictures.. and I get about 10 new contacts a month still. How much attention do you want???
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 12
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:35:37 AM
The picture is your first impression.I like the pic all though the sluty ones are a turn off. The one out of focus make me scratch my head "Why would you not put your best pic".
I laugh at the pictures of pregnant woman in a wedding dress or with the grand childern in the first pic are a turn off.Put the grand kids in the other pictures imop.
I know I need to get some better pictures on my profile. I took a quick pic to get in.I did not know POF was such a great site.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 13
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:51:06 AM
Who gives a crap how other women present themselves?!?! Present yourself as you wish others to view you! I have never had any problem attracting a man based on the one and only way I know how and that is with honesty and being completely myself!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:47:40 AM
What a woman is wearing does not affect my decision to read a profile. (I've contacted women without photos.) What she's wearing would only affect what I would write in a message if her profile was too lame to be of any use. In other words, if the only interesting thing about her was her provocative photos, guess what interests I'd feel we had in common. On the other hand, if I could tell there was no physical attraction from looking at her photos, it wouldn't matter too much what she wrote in her profile regardles of how she was dressed.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 15
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:02:05 AM
I have been on this site for a week now and I am having a hard time.

Wow, a whole week?

Women are Sellers in the Romance Game. Men are the Buyers. So you, as a woman, have gotta have something to sell which men want to buy. And, yes, it is a competitive market place.

It has nothing to do with "class", though you're right that few women have the imagination to come up with anything other than their cleavage, their tattoos, or whatever else they've deluded themselves into thinking makes them "special".

Oh, and BTW, welcome to the human race, though you're only a provisional member until you've been around here at least a year or so. Have you considered targeted direct mail advertising in the meantime?
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 16
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How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:32:08 PM
Like others have said, just being yourself helps, and being true to yourself adn waht you want and do not want, not having such lofty standards that most men don't measure up, and putting yourself out there for some to discover. You're a pretty attracitve women and I think here soon enough you'll be attracting guys. Granted not all will be what you're looking for, but you will come across quite a few you're really interested in. Good luck OP.
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 17
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:36:12 PM
the Op wroe.....I don't think one needs to pose in skimpy underwear to get a guys attention. I generally pass by the girls who are overly provocative - too obvious. However, I prefer full length pictures to mere headshots and why not state a few sexual preferences in your profile ie. I like sex to be a total mind/body/spiritual experience? Focus on the positive rather than the negative in what you are looking for sexually or otherwise


My question with this is, who the hell doesn't like total mind blowing, body lifting, spiritual sex? Why state the obviouse?Very few that I have talked to said..............I hate hot sex it's just to messy and inconvenient ok none have ever said that

Someone else wrote............Women are Sellers in the Romance Game. Men are the Buyers. So you, as a woman, have gotta have something to sell which men want to buy. And, yes, it is a competitive market place.

I so need to take marketing classes, or get tips from a sales man. I couldn't sell ice in hell .lol.

It has nothing to do with "class", though you're right that few women have the imagination to come up with anything other than their cleavage, their tattoos, or whatever

I liked what he then wrote about this^^^^^But he is right it is about puttign your best out there for someones eye to catchit. And what you put out there will attract what you want..............hopefully
 Viperess
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 18
How does a woman keep her class but attract a man on a dating site.
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:41:21 PM
My preference is to always keep it classy be it in public or online. I do not think a woman has to show all of her 'assets' to attract a man. Online, I think it is how she presents herself via photographs and what she compiles in her profile that can be sexy yet NOT sleazy.
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