Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Bad experience with pets      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
Bad experience with petsPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You might want to check your energy, and I'm not being funny. Peeing is a sign of territory and dominance, and it could just be that both those animals were establishing both with you, being that you were around their owner, are also male, and new to the situation. The cat in particular - wasn't punishing the owner so much as was claiming the bed as theirs, especially after being banished from it if it's used to sleeping there.

Animals who walk over, stand on, hump, pee on or otherwise invade the space of someone usually do so based on the fact that you are projecting a submissive energy as well as techincally altering their environment and occupying someone they feel they own. Most animals determine anything other than calm strong energy to be weak, and they tend to capitalize on weak.

A confident, strong, calm (not mean or pushy) energy and an understanding that you are new to the animal is probably your best defense. Luckily with horses they won't be walking around the house, so your chances are probably good so long as you don't sit or place anything under one.

Granted, if the owners dealt with their pets better, the animals would have just had better manners, so you can't blame them for it.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 4
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:15:59 AM
Well being that I own cats.. my bedroom is off limits to anyone but my children and myself. They hang out there and will give anyone that is not family a ration for even entering the room.. I do cage them at night since I got tired of waking up to a new hairdo every morning.

Cats will spray when they are aware of a strange scent.. The use of Feliway is recommended. It is a pheromone-based diffuser to aid in behavior modification..

I do not think there is a similar product for a dog.. So know if the woman has a male dog to put your bags in a safe place like up in a closet.

As for the horses.. I do not think there will be a problem. Just keep a tall fence between you and them and bring along a carrot and ask how to give it to them properly so you do not lose a few fingers? Make sure you palm is completely flat including all your digits.

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 7
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:20:57 AM
Just wanted to add that female cats will spray as well. Something people are not aware of and most people think only the males do it..

thecatsmeoww
 The Magician
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 8
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:22:50 AM
I'm seeing a pattern here, be it a short pattern. The pets are male, and they have already determined that they are alpha male in the household, and here you come, invading their territory. Believe it or not, pets have a way of knowing when the alpha male position is threatened, and can deal with that on their own level. If you are going to continue dating ladies that have pets, become more aware of animal behaviour, and learn what you can or cannot do to minimise the effect of your charms in front of the MALE of the house. I would not like to be around when you confront the stallions, and show your alpha status in front of them. It could get pretty ugly.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 9
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:22:57 AM
Unless she's keeping the horses indoors, I think you're fairly safe, although stallions can be dangerous, so keep your baggage and body out of the fenced pasture area and you should avoid any mishaps.

Don't go riding. I see broken bones in your future should you try to mount a stallion, or get trapped in the stall.

Some pets (animals) are just very territorial and it has nothing to do with you personally. Those two pets owned by those women have probably contributed in ruining more than one relationship.

Best of luck on this date!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 10
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:26:07 AM
topfind said: I was really pizzed off, and since even my PJ’and other clothes in the bag got wet, the trip was almost ruined. The good thing was, I didn’t have to sleep on the couch, so I didn't need my PJ's..

I hope you threw your PJ's directly in the washing machine.. Also cleaned your bag right away.. Am lucky Persians are not normally sprayers and only one of mine will spray and that is only if I put him in a crate that another male was transported in. So his crate is his own and no sharing for him. I could just imagine getting to a show and finding that he had sprayed on the cage mat. That would mean a full bath in the hotel bathroom.. Also the use of my high power dryer would properly dim the lights there if not cause a complete blow out of power..

thecatsmeoww
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 11
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:30:32 AM
I'm just impressed you've had three lady friends taken with you enough to invite you to their home for sleep overs!!

After listening to the no-luck lads go on and on with their complaints of no contact on other threads...

I think rather than asking for advice, you should be giving it.

 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:51:33 AM
A while ago, I watched Canadian program about survival in bush country. The woodsman who narrated the movie, recommended, that when in the bear and cougar country, you should drink a lot of water and mark the perimeter of your campsite.

In your case, if you venture again into an unfamiliar territory, you might consider launching a preemptive strike and mark your bag and a few strategic spots in your gf’s place with your own perfume.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 16
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:07:09 AM
totryagain said:In your case, if you venture again into an unfamiliar territory, you might consider launching a preemptive strike and mark your bag and a few strategic spots in your gf’s place with your own perfume.

Having trained dogs in scent discrimination this may or may not work. The longer the nose of the dog the better he is at it.. The longer nosed dog should be able to detect your scent even with perfume sprayed on the bag.

thecatsmeoww
 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 18
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:46:16 AM
Just be thankful the nice ladys aren't insisting on peeing on you or your bag. Now that would be an experience. Meet your date toss your bag down and as your talking she rips down her drawers and pees on your canvass bag, all while maintaining a pleasent conversattion.

To be honest I would end up laughing so hard I would probably piss myself...as I was making my exit, of course.

 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 19
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:48:34 AM
bklynrebel; Don't get mad, get even. Next time lift your leg and pee on the dog. That'll fix his wagon



kind of a twist on what I just said above. both are hilarious.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:24:53 PM

can anyone help me here, i have a dog and i have met a new partner, when he stayed the night i left my dog who normally sleeps on the end of my bed in the living room and he spent most of the night howling...i know i have spoilt him, what can i do about this situation, cos its certainly spoiling my partner staying here? Caz

I think, you did the right thing.
Just imagine, how much more would he be howling, if he stayed at the end of the bed and had to put up with the show.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:35:38 PM
Humans will come in contact with animals in their lives. Humans need to be educated at a young age to learn how to handle animals. If a human gets hurt, it is the human who simply didn't know how to handle the animal. People complict the human animal situation..............sigh!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 25
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:25:35 PM
hi
can anyone help me here, i have a dog and i have met a new partner, when he stayed the night i left my dog who normally sleeps on the end of my bed in the living room and he spent most of the night howling...i know i have spoilt him, what can i do about this situation, cos its certainly spoiling my partner staying here? Caz

Option one: is to stay at his place...
Option two: let him sleep at the end of your bed
Option 3: Get a kennel silencer and put it in the room he is staying in.. A good one will cost a few hundred dollars

Good luck
thecatsmeoww
 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 27
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:45:57 PM
Exactly who is the master at your house? You or the dog? Is the dog the Alpha?

If "you" are the Alpha and lay down the law the animal will respond (period)

You may have to take a more critical role in enforcement of who is the boss.

Unfortunatly for some, including me, it is difficult to think in critical terms to enforce rules no matter what, but we as humans must realize the dog, cat, ferret or whatever live by different rules. It is up to us if we choose to have pets that we are dominant, otherwise don't have pets.



 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 28
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:52:31 PM
mowtown said: caz4 you need to transition that dog to the floor and that means especially when your partner isn't there.

This is also an option but would require time.. You can always sleep at this place until you dog gets used to sleeping on the floor. In the meantime you will have know when he jumps on your bed in the middle of the night and correct him.. I hope you are not a very sound sleeper?

thecatsmeoww
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 32
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:29:08 PM
Unfortunately this is another thread where some people are dating a partner they don't agree with on a major issue. This isn't about the OP - but a few people posting here think this is a power or replacement issue.

You either like pets or you don't. If you don't really want to deal with them, date people who don't have them. This means that if you are dating someone early on and they mention pets, stop dating them. Same as smokers, or kids, or long distance or anything else you'd run across in an SO you disagree on and you're better off not going any further.

Trying to continue dating them and hoping they turn their lives upside down is not good twofold - it's not fair to ask someone to do it and it's not fair to their pets if they do.

To the poster that made the comment that women have replaced men with pets, this assumes that we've got a void in the first place, which assumes all women need to be with a guy, which is a generalization. Most women who have pets may joke about unconditional love and all that, but the pets have nothing to do with a relationship status. A woman can have a pet AND an SO - or neither and it doesn't really mean much of anything either way.

P.S. People who are dating have alternatives to sleeping in the home where the pets are - so sleep in the other home, or go your separate ways when the date's over, or rent a room...
 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 33
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:40:01 PM
Damn it. It's hard (pun intended) to concentrate on this thread seeing you constantly in a bathing suit.

 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:01:15 PM
It is sad but some people use their pets to be sumissively agressive with the social relationships they have. While they might not directly tell you that you are on the bottom of the food chain it is crystal clear. They have elevated pets to being superior to themselves and you in their lives and that is where you will always be. Not something I would be up for but sometimes third is not a bad finish for some. .
 The Magician
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 36
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:19:58 PM

It is sad but some people use their pets to be sumissively agressive with the social relationships they have. While they might not directly tell you that you are on the bottom of the food chain it is crystal clear. They have elevated pets to being superior to themselves .......


Not exactly the words I would have used, but so true!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 37
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:17:08 AM
topfind asks me: So where do you keep you bf?

I do not have a boyfriend so right now is not a problem for me. I also do not invite men into my home or people that I am not very familiar with..

If I had a boyfriend.. I would introduce him to the cats in another room..

Most likely the loggia since my cats are never in certain areas of my home like the kitchen and living room.

Once the cats are moved to a different location they are not nearly as protective and introductions will include lots of toys for them and the boyfriend to play with. They will be hesitant at first to approach him but if he does not try and approach them they will not go into hiss mode. I would encourage him to toss the toys for them without approaching and to wait and they will eventually approach him when they feel ready.. In reality this can be as short as a hour or two if all goes well and they will be buddies..

I never have problems with them with male judges at shows simply because they are no longer in the place they are so protective about..In fact they show their little hearts out because I have trained them to every single teaser there is available to me on the market.
So they know when that comes out it is playtime.

The reason I section off my house is that is my sister is highly allergic to my cats and by keeping them out of the common rooms she can feel more comfortable visiting. My home has a really neat design so I can section off the sleeping areas from the rest of the house..

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 38
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:27:18 AM
tresor said:I should get a lot of hate mail for that one but just look at the crazy lady on the east coast that slept with her chimpanzee; it's no small wonder that the monkey eventually felt like the dominant male of the house and damn near killed the owner's friend.

Please that would have happened even if that animal had not been sleeping with her..These animals should not be kept as pets period and are well known to get aggressive after puberty. She was told that and refused to listen..

As for the rest of your post please do not generalize about women and pets.. There are a lot of women pet owners that know how to bring their baby up properly..

For instance yesterday I had to bring my two kittens up to the vet for a shot. They wanted to pin down his leg and had another vet ready to do just that. I removed her hands off my kitten since she was stressing the kitten out with her pin hold. I gently laid him on his side while stroking him. I looked directly into his eyes and softly talked to him. He was so distracted he never felt the needle and there was no need for them to apply that pressure hold to stress out this little one.. They got my message loud and clear that I wanted gentle hands or keep your hands off.. No struggling kitten no fuss no muss.

thecatsmeoww
 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 39
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:24:30 PM
thecatsmeoww, [I can section off the sleeping areas from the rest of the house..]


You must have really big, big house! Cat dander flys everywhere. You are obviously a cat lover so let me tell a story.

During my marriage I was traveling constantly and during that time I would come home to see another cat. The kids loved them and kittens are irresistable. For 14 years I paid them no mind. Then during my divorice my ex, suddenly, had a allergic problem with cats and I got stuck with them.
A year after, I had developed a deep relationship with, Roxanne (named after the Steve Martin movie, Roxanne). She gave me a tremendous amount of comfort during that year. Unfortunatly after 16 years she developed cancer and the options were slim.
During the time I actually spent with her I found out cats are very, very smart animals. Her demise still makes me sad.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 40
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:42:54 PM
mahgninnuc said:You must have really big, big house! Cat dander flys everywhere. You are obviously a cat lover so let me tell a story.
During my marriage I was traveling constantly and during that time I would come home to see another cat. The kids loved them and kittens are irresistable. For 14 years I paid them no mind. Then during my divorice my ex, suddenly, had a allergic problem with cats and I got stuck with them.
A year after, I had developed a deep relationship with, Roxanne (named after the Steve Martin movie, Roxanne). She gave me a tremendous amount of comfort during that year. Unfortunatly after 16 years she developed cancer and the options were slim.
During the time I actually spent with her I found out cats are very, very smart animals. Her demise still makes me sad.

Hi mahgninnuc,

Thanks so much for sharing your story.. Indeed cats are much smarter than people think.
As for my home it is a nice size and I also have a super duper air filtration system that filters the outside air coming in. Then I have two other filtration systems one in each room that filters the inside air.. This I find to be very helpful.. Also daily grooming you do not have a whole lot of cat floating around because you have removed any dead hair there is. It also prevents them from getting hairballs.

Roxanne sounds like a very special cat. I know when my mother was dying of cancer my cats were aware of my absence all day long while I spent my time at the hospital. When I could come threw the door at night they would not leave my side. Many times that final week I misted all their coats with my tears.. They also know when I am sick or feeling under the weather..

They do offer you comfort when you need it.. Besides that I am a touchy feely type of person and love to hear their motors running. It is like have my personal sound machine.

thecatsmeoww
 mahgninnuc
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 41
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:55:39 PM
I now have a tiger on my right shoulder and a panther on my left.

Do you collect Cat's meow's?
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Bad experience with pets