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Show ALL Forums  > Ireland  > Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dubhghaill
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 1
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a childPage 1 of 1    
I say Leinster girls on the thread title because I am from Dublin and have only been contacting and dating girls from Leinster so I cant comment on girls from other provinces. From my disaterious experience on this site so far its plainly obvious that not many girls are open-minded about a guy having a child. Threads like this must of been posted up here a hundred times. This is the second time Ive put one up. After yet again not getting one reply to a bunch of messages I sent last night which were all read I felt compelled to write this thread. The closed-mindedness of girls towards guys having a kid never ceases to amase me. Being single Im not getting out as much as I used to due to a pay cut I was hit with so I find myself on this site alot. Its amasing h0w many messages I send before I get a reply. I never say anything wrong and there are no stupid one-liners. My messages are mostly influenced by a girls profile and what we have in common or what I find appealing about her. Ofcourse there is a percentage of girls who dont reply because they dont feel they've got things in common with me or dont find me attractive enough or whatever else and thats fair enough and girls are entitled to have a problem with a guy having a child if they chose to. But come on, out of every twenthy messages Id send out Im lucky to get one reply. Is that unbelievable or what? Its plain to see that if my profile and aproach is fine and if Im not a bad looking guy that the reason for this disaterious lack of replies is down to me mentioning that I have a child. Im starting to think maybe I should only contact single mothers because alot more of them will reply to me. Alot of people will come on here and say "oh you must be doing this wrong and doing that wrong". I am telling you I am doing nothing wrong. I have put up a load of photos of myself and a very honest profile which for most people to read they'd think I cant go wrong with it. I wasnt raised with any sisters but that doesnt mean that I dont know the suss about what I should and shouldnt say on my profile to attract a few girls. Im not stupid, I know that a guy has to be wise about what he puts on his profile here. Without being arrongant here I also have a good way with words, Id never have to kiss the Blarney Stone because I already have the gift of the gab and I dont think Im a male super model but Im not a bad looking guy at all. With regards to my stunning daughter who is my world, I refuse to not mention her on my profile. If a girl has a problem with me having a child then its her closed-minded loss. With it being the majority of girls that are closed-minded then good luck to that lot. My search goes on for one of the open-minded ladies out there and more power and fair-play to any of my fellow Irish sisters who are open-minded enough about the idea of a guy having a child. Even before I had my daughter I never had a problem with a girl having a child. All of my friends think the same and I have alot of friends. I will admit that if a girl had more then two kids that would be to much for me but hey that says alot more about what the majoriy of Irish girls on this site think about a guy having a kid. Ive been talking to a few of my lady friends and most of them agree with me. One of them reckons that 75% of girls would not be interested in a guy who has a child. Is she close to the mark?? Well I think Ive been pontificating enough. Till the next thread.

Slán
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 2
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:50:05 AM
I've thought about this and its a good question, heres what I think. I dont think we are opposed to it in general, for instance if I met a guy in a bar and we connected and fancied each other I'd wouldnt suddenly walk away once he mentioned he had a child if the connection had already been established. Here however I am guilty of what you describe because there hasnt been that connection yet, and we are all here searching for the ideal. We turn down people pecause of stupid things like taste in music, the shirt they are wearing in their photo, a stupid joke they make, all things we would forgive if we had already met and felt that sexual chemistry connection. My point is while on a date site we can have all these credentials that we are looking and unless very lonely and desperate we seem to continue searching until we find them. i'm in no panic to meet anyone, this is a source of amusement for now and a bonus if i meet someone. There is another possibility though, maybe its your taste in music! Honestly women here dont reply for a myriad of reasons! I would say I only reply to about 1 out of 10 single guys with no children. And funnily enough I sent a msg to a guy this week who has a child and I didnt get a reply from him! Maybe he didnt like my taste in music! I feel suitably ashamed though because you seem like a lovely guy.
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 3
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 6/30/2009 12:37:26 PM
How do you know they aren't replying to you because you have a child? Maybe they don't like your photos or your profile. I would never not respond to someone because they have children - think you are making a bit of a generalisation here OP!
 sloaneranger62
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 4
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:01:48 PM
For a lot of women its is umm has kids? hes young so kids are young and he's already off leaving them with thier mother? = unreliable not responsible drop him
 sloaneranger62
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 5
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:20:14 PM
The point is Micky having a child is a big decision and if someone takes it so lightly that when the child is hardly weaned they are gone what does it say about them as reliable dependable people?

Giving the mother money each week while they are on a dating site looking for more women to do the same to is not a sign of a reliable man now is it?
 paddymearse
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 6
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:31:02 PM
[if a girl has a problem with me havin a child then its her closed minded loss]

i agree but maybe you should read this line again and take it in ,,,,,it is her loss so forget about her and wait for the girl who doesnt care if you have a kid or not,,,,,
 sloaneranger62
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 7
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:37:45 PM
There is no gender bias in my opinion, who ever decided to up and off is just as irresponsible as the other one.
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 8
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:53:39 PM
Im a bit confussed???

You send out mails, you dont get a reply ............. then you start a thread stating the reason your so unsuscessful is because you have a child? So ....eh ......that doesnt add up! Are the women who are not replying to you, using some sort of smoke signal or pyhsic connection to inform you that the reason they didnt reply was because you have a child?

Have you read any of the other threads? The Hi how are you, or the why are Irish girls shallow threads? I think you will discover that most men come up against the same thing regardless of being a father.

So, YOU rather than accept the rejection you are getting on the site......YOU project your own idea that the only possible reason nobody is interested in you is because of your child.
That leads me to belive that had you not a child of your own you would have issues with dating a mother.

Oh and i dont think starting this thread will do you any favours in getting more replys, as your posts are shown on your profile page.
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 9
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:47:22 PM
Sloanranger thats a very narrow assumption you've made. maybe his partner left him, maybe they got together to young, maybe they had a dysfunctional relationship, he got out got help and has healed and grown, jeeze if you assume a seperated parent is ducking his/her responsibilities you've tarred a lot of people with a dirty brush. I just hope you get the waltons family you assume is the only right way to parent. Its 2009 there are many different types of families that provide for the best interest of the child. Open your mind.
 sloaneranger62
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 10
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:58:02 AM
The decision to have children nowadays is taken too lightly

The best way to raise a child is with 2 parents who are committed and responsible and living in the same household and carrying out possitive roles for the child to aspire to.

People having children when they are dysfunctional themselves realising they cant cope coming out and getting help is a little too late for the child they have brought into that situation. Yes they may leave and get well and grow, good for them but why have the child in the first place? Couldnt they have got healthy first then thought of having the kid?

It should be as hard to have a natural child as it is to adopt one, at least with a course of parenting classes to be passed and an assesment of suitablitly. It could be enforced by withholding the child benefit payment for couples who do not take part.

This culture of single parents being the norm and 3 children in a family each having a different father is not healthy or good for the chid.

My mind is very open but I can not ignore the culture of underage drinking, drug use delinquency, teenage sex, sexually transmitted diseases and underage pregnancy, that is ever increasing, and the upbringing these children had is a factor.

If those things were decreasing along with the rise in 'single parents' statistics then your argument would hold some weight but it does not.
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 11
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:52:58 AM
the social and cutural problems you mention are common in two parent families too,(think Wesley College discos for a moment) they are a product of many different factors. The assumption you initaily made that I was refering to was that he is irrisponsible if he is a single parent. This is the point you need to argue. Going on about social ills is going off the point. If his relationship failed I am sure both parents have suffered enough without being judged by bigots like you. As i said I hope you get the happy ever after you think is the only right way to live. BTW I know this thread sounds defensive and you will assume I am a single parent, I'm not I have no kids and come from a stable two parent family. However i know many people who are happy their parents septearted as living in a war torn home was a lot worse than living with one parents. Also your argument assumes children are less resiliant than they are. Children adapt and cope it is stigma and feeling they are somehow differrent that causes many problems for them. So while people like you continue to judge one parent families that stigma continues to affect children which results in low self esteem which in turn leads to the problems you mentioned. So you in fact are contributing to the social problems you think marrige will save ha!! Like we never had alcoholisim in Ireland before the sexual revolution or before the onset of the cultre of living together. Jeeze.
 CartoonLoon
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 12
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:38:24 AM
I have loads of children ............ in my basement.. speaking of which got flooded last night i must check on it later
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 13
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:49:32 AM
[I have loads of children ............ in my basement.. speaking of which got flooded last night i must check on it later]

Ah thanks for making me laugh, that got me off my soapbox :)
 Dubhghaill
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 14
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:16:53 PM
Wow, what have I started, Im amased and some of the threads put up after the one I put up first. Some were actually helpfull but there was one of them that just completely blew my mind altogether. I quote here what sloanranger has said about single fathers -

"Giving the mother money each week while they are on a dating site looking for more women to do the same to is not a sign of a reliable man now is it"?

Im so shocked and gobsmacked to think that someone would think like that, thats abit of a warped mind.. Me and my partner tried very hard to make it work but we broke up and Im a joint legal guardian of my stunning little girl who means the world to me and who Id die for. Theres just two words that I have to say here and thats- 'MAN HATER'. Catch my drift??
 GDAE4u
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 15
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:19:31 PM

People having children when they are dysfunctional themselves realising they cant cope coming out and getting help is a little too late for the child they have brought into that situation. Yes they may leave and get well and grow, good for them but why have the child in the first place? Couldnt they have got healthy first then thought of having the kid?


I'm a little confused as to what you are saying here; how does a person know that they are ‘dysfunctional themselves’? There are many mums out there rearing children after the fathers have left, for whatever reason. Does this mean that those mums should be condemned for irresponsibly having taken the decision to procreate with an unsuitable father? Your hypothesis seems to indicate that this should be the case. I think you might be shooting your self in the foot here.
To the OP: I think you are jumping the gun with your assumption that having a child makes you undesirable to women. It’s much more probable that you are getting an average number of replies. Most men here get very few replies to their mails. You are not an exception.
 Munsterbear
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 16
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:07:34 PM
I'm a single Dad, my daughter lives with me. and will say straight out. Mate you're a muppet!

If a lady decided to not date me, it's because of me. Do not use the fact that you are a Dad as an excuse for not getting replies.

I've noticed a number of posts from yourself and forgive me if I'm wrong but to me they seem agressive and confrontational. Have a look at yourself before you start judging everybody else.
 Dubhghaill
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 17
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:02:26 PM
Yes your wrong, my messages are not aggressive and confrontational. What makes you think that Im using my being a Dad as an excuse for not getting replies? If you've read a good few of my posts then you must of missed the one where I stated about my discussing this topic with alot of my lady friends and Ive quite a few lady friends and alot them are informal when agreeing with me that the majority of girls are not interested in guys who have children. Its been my experience that alot of girls who havent got kids themselves loose interest in me after they find out Im a father and its not just my opinion, its the feed back Ive mentioned that Ive got from lady friends aswell that makes things plain to see. With regards to you calling me a muppet I dont seem to have noticed you looking at my profile, well Ive just had a good look at yours, you've got some neck to call me a muppet. Ive simply being expressing myself and some of my experiences here and Ive got some interesting feed back from some of the folks here. Hey, the volunteer work is commendable but your a judgemental snob of a muppet.
 Mizanthrope
Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 18
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:59:53 PM
I actually clearly state in my profile that I am not interested in a guy with children as I don't like children, and want someone who who thinks like I do on this matter.

I would expect that any woman who has kids of her own, or plans to have them, would not look down on a man with children, otherwise that would be some strange sort of double standard. But then again the world is a strange place.
 Munsterbear
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 19
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:34:10 AM
You ask why do I think that you are using the fact that you are a Dad as an excuse for not getting replies?

Because Your post says so. You state your disasterous time on this sight is because of the close mindedness of people to the fact of you having a kid.

Every post that I can remember seeing from yourself blames everybody else for something. Be it misleading profiles, not getting replies etc etc. Time to be a big boy and look at yourself.
 Dubhghaill
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 20
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:27:18 PM
Im constantly told I dont look it but Im 34. Im very broad and very proud. Hey Mr Rugby I dont need advise on maturity from a snob. You've actually read all my posts, abit of a sad snobby life I think. Ive got better things to do then read posts all day. Oh blessed virgin you've probably read all posts from other guys who question there lack of replies? I wonder how many replies you get here? I wonder how many replies you get from women in general with a bleedin head like that.. Anyway up the Dubs, kings of Leinster Gaelic football.
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 21
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:58:17 PM
And i see your true colours shining threw,
I see your true colours
and thats why................................


Thats why your not getting replys......**me thinks**


Oh and I think with your attitude yo might as well put 'Cultchies need not apply' as your tag line
 Umoksoz
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 22
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:14:21 PM
Its cause you ugly man !
on the outside and the inside ugly ass mofo i feel sorry for your family and your mirror.
 Dubhghaill
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 23
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:10:46 PM
MalaSam where are you going with saying I should say culchies need not reply. Yeah I was born and bred in Dublin and I wair the blue proudly but my roots are all from Kilkenny and Ive even wore the cats jersey a few times, thinking of getting my comogue playing daughter a black and amber one aswell. Well my loyalties went to the Dubs in Croker against the cats, pity we lost. Ive got lots of friends and family who live in the countryside, I feel more of a connection to rural countryside then to urban city and Im not a male slut but Ive been with a few country girls and had a relationship with one. Yeah Im proud to be from Dublin but Im definitly Irish before Im a Dub or from Ireland before Im from Dublin if you catch my drift, I believe we're all the one once your not going around waving a union jack or anything like that. I find alot of folks here a hastily judgemental, Im surprised with you to be like that MalaSam. Whats the story with those other dudes. Is this Dublin or south central LA? Is a home-boy going to pop a cap in my punk ass or something, haha. Anyway roll on Metallica in August. James Hetfield is a powerfull MF.

 perfectcell1718
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 24
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:44:35 PM
Okay... I am browsing the posts in lands of interest and I came across this thread and have been reading it intently. I must say that I don't agree with a lot of what is being bounced around, your last comment toward the ones who posted the ignorant comment does indeed show a bit of prejudice on your side as well. Dublin or South Central L.A.? I have to agree at least partially with MalaSam on the true colors comment. If you seek forever with a partner and ask non-bias of her then you should at least try and be the same way all the way around the table. I'm in no way bashing you, I even felt empathy toward your plies, however the masses have opinions and some are right and wrong as any forum of mind's thoughts would be. Try not to take them to heart and remember that we are all brothers and sisters... I'm not exactly sure how things are culturally all over the isle, but I believe it's about who you are, not where your from. Peace be with you.
 Honestdub
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 25
Majority of Leinster girls are closed-minded to a guy having a child
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:37:28 PM
A Dubliner who is just being sarcastic towards other Dubliners who go on like they are South Central L.A. thugs is going very lightly on them indeed... Peace and love to ALL mankind.
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