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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > looks or profile, what attracks you first?      Home login  
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 Svetlana Blue
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 4
looks or profile, what attracks you first?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
A lot of them do not read. Look at my profile..and then I get e mails that say "hi, tell me more about you". They simply look at the pictures and e mail. I think most people e mail mainly over looks. For ME...I do BOTH. but there better be a hell of a good reason for me to e mail a man first...and I normally will not. I have met quite a few off here and really can only vouch for one being honest. And unfortunatly, he does not live in Florida. Be careful on here.
 SirThinkAlot
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 6
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:43:30 AM
PROFILE, Profile, profile. Without a question it is the profile that attracts me first.
As I've stated elsewhere in these forums the looks are unimportant in my wanting to contact them. If they have that "certain look" but not what I'm interested in in their written profile, I don't contact them.
If they have qualities I'm looking for in their profile but not that "look" in their picture, I contact them.
If they have qualities I'm looking for in their profile but no picture, I contact them.
My best preference is the last one.
I fully agree with the OP in "what good is the package without substance" if all someone wants is for the looks, most probably they are seeking a night session not LTR.
Noteworthy also is, I do not judge fully on how long written their profile is. I've responded to ones that had few words but the ideas were thought provoking or they shared common interests with me.
The photo may be misleading more than the profile.
I've found it easier to doctor or fake a photo then falsely communicate with words.
Easier to be misled by an image then by a mind.
I've known very physically attractive people to be ugly on the inside.
I've never found a beautiful person inside to appear ugly to me.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 10
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:18:13 AM
I'm here only for the "profile" pics.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 11
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:36:05 AM
I'll admit it - picture first.

SHALLOW ALERT: if I see a full head of hair I'll always go to the profile. Bald or balding? Not so much. But I'm really bad about reading the actual profile. My family always jokes that you HAVE to get me a birthday card with under 3 lines of copy or I won't read it - and they're right. I check all the basics - age, marital status, smoking status, and if they have kids under 18.

Then I'll force myself to skim the rest - but I don't like doing it, dammit.
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 15
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:31:28 AM
I changed my profile recently because most don't read it. Granted it was close to War and Peace, I actually had to shorten it, but now I just have a generic profile of cliches. I'm trying to blend in for the masses.
 Svetlana Blue
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 16
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:39:18 AM
Forums~ that is why I say all I can about me, my hobbies and my lifestyle. You would be shocked (or maybe not) at the amount of mail I get, and people asking me about me...to me it shows they simply did not READ . I have my own doubts about some people, but most of that cannot be determined until I meet them in person. And yes, some people do say a crock of BS ...I have met a few of those too. In general, if people would look at pics and read a profile, it would make a first e mail a heck of a lot better than making it look as if they cannot read.
 SirThinkAlot
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 18
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:42:30 AM
Pitch Blease said "I changed my profile recently because most don't read it. Granted it was close to War and Peace, I actually had to shorten it, but now I just have a generic profile of cliches. I'm trying to blend in for the masses."
Don't succumb to the masses. Stick to you guns. If we all lower to the wrong mindsets we have nothing better to expect from them.
Lets raise the bar and bring them up with us.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:02:28 PM
The smell is what does it for me.
 MyRobotBee
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 27
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:13:49 PM
Pics, pics, pics...

If you all didn't know this already (but SHOULD!) men are visually-oriented creatures - which is why if happily married or otherwise commited we will still always look at other (all) women, its in our genes and biochemistry formed by thousands of years of evolution.

That being said, looks alone mean squat when something long-term/permenant is desired. Someone could have the best personality in the world and have the most well-written profile, but there has to be a physical, sexual attraction otherwise personality means nothing - its got to be both sides of the coin (i.e. the complete package).

For me, that veeery first initial "Maybe" or "No way" its all about the picture.

I check out CL ads as well from time-to-time and don't even bother looking at ads without a picture.

I don't know about the rest of you - but I've had a few very promising relationships start on-line (email, phone, etc.) - someone I *really* click with and vice versa, that came to a crashing stop on the first date (sometimes after months of emails and phone conversations) because they looked NOTHING like the pictures they had posted with their profile (which tend to be taken years ago).

I don't consider myself superficial or shallow - I go into any new relationship without a "Laundry List", and without expectations - just hope. To do so would be unrealistic, not to mention completely counterproductive to finding that 'special someone' to share my life with... but I have to be physically attracted to any potential "Mrs. Right" first and foremost!

Peace.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 29
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:53:42 PM
Looks will usually be first. When you walk into a party, and scan the room, you quickly determine which people you want to get to know better. You know nothing about their personalities. But you do know who you'd be sexually attracted to, or more important, which ones turn you off. After all, why start getting to know someone who has something obvious about them that turns you off? That would be kind of stupid now, wouldn't it. And before anyone gets upset by this idea, please remember, we don't get to choose what turns us on, nor what turns us off. It's not a decision. After all, if I had my choice, I'd choose to get turned on by fat, ugly, smelly women with nasty attitudes. I'd be having so much sex that I'd have to quit my job.
 Passion4MusicandWomen
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 31
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:04:12 PM
Cant judge a book by its cover. For me its profile first. You can click on an attractive looking woman and think "Hey, lets see if she'll go out with me", click on the profile and read what shes looking for I like my men to be at least 5'10" Well there goes some dudes chance being with her when they fall short of that requirement
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 35
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:30:44 AM
If I'm attracted to a guy's photo (a little or a lot), I will automatically read his profile.

When looking at his profile, my goal is to find out if he's articulate, goal-oriented, fun, tall (OK...I'm an admitted "height Queen"), has cool interests (even if they are different than mine), and if he has mentioned anything that describes some of my characteristics (whether physical or personality).

I've seen photos of good looking guys, but they had aweful profiles and I've also read good profiles of guys who sent me an email but I know in my heart I would NEVER be attracted to them...and I'm sure there are men on this site who feel the same way about me...we can't have it all EVERY TIME, right!?!

If ANYONE says they absolutely do not consider looks/attraction as a part of their decision-making...YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH!!! So, when you are out in public and you see a complete stranger and you find yourself wanting to approach them/ask them for their tel #, why do you think it's so!?!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 36
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:23:25 PM
Well it used to be forum posts. They tell a much more detailed story than just a profile alone. But since we can no longer see a persons last 5 forum posts that seriously impedes my process. One of the reasons I'm contemplating leaving POF.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 42
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:29:05 PM
The only thing that attracts me on this site is the forums.
 StrangeMonkey9000
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 45
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 11:29:26 PM
Honestly, I click if I see an attractive girl and then read their profile. If I don't see anything interesting in the prfile I just leave it be regardless of how cute they are.

I've seen total hotties on here with profiles that are just one or two sentences and no listed interests, like their looks alone should speak for them. I'll pass those up any day for a average girl with an awesome personality that shows through in their profile.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 53
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 10/15/2009 11:29:52 PM
I would say pics, but definitely read the entire profile. I am getting a storm of e-mails from men whose relationships say N/A. If they are married or in a relationship I won't give the time of day.

I got one the other day said N/A pics of his brood about 4-5 small kids. NEXT!
 Magic_Fish
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 58
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:40:31 AM
For me, if there's a nautical hint in their profile, I check it out. Be it water in the backdrop or a watercraft of sorts on their picture, or if their screen name alludes to anchors, sails, depth sounder, etc.

Otherwise, I don't bother. It's not easy convincing a landlubber that the sea is a wonderous place to spend time on.

MF
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 62
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:14:12 PM

What makes you email someone


More often than not...a forum post....

bonus if he's a hottie...
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 68
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:33:26 PM
Unless the picture is an absolute fraud it tells alot...profiles are words which is what lies are made of.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 76
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:44:33 PM
The looks make me click on the profile



The profile will make me want to write something.



or not.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 77
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:58:35 AM
Does the ability to craft a witty or otherwise engaging profile realy promise anything in the way of a great personality or even more important,any valuable personality traits such as honesty,loyalty,ect...aside from picture fraud which does occur here how does one know who actually wrote a profile ? some web sites offer profile"tips" and coaching on how to write a "successful" profile...while i agree that looks are not everything and are superficial does being witty and charming guarantee anything ? are not most con men witty and charming ? if the personality is always the way to go how come so many men and women say the same things like "they didn't used to be that way" or "they were not like that when i met them"....perhaps there are no guarantees of anything no matter which way you go ?...if we are going to slam all the pretty people and judge them to be all bad why not the con artist and B.S'rs,liars and deceivers as well.
 dannyfl
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 78
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:46:38 PM
I always read the profile. If I like the photo and the profile is the deal braker. Looks only account for so much. A woman could be drop dead georgous and as dumb as a brick and i really dont want to waste my time there. When the looks arent all there but the profile is what im looking for then a send a msg. Then you have those women who have the looks and the brains but are only looking for the big bucks "gold Diggers" i dont waste my time there either. I just would like to me and not have to worry about all the crap women put guys through. If you are looking for prefection sorry. There are a lot of really good guys out there that just dont get the chance because women want all that and a cup of tea. lighten up ladies. try something different you may be supprised.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 79
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:53:17 PM
The picture is usually what makes you click or not (ATTRACTION IS A MUST - for moi). And then I read the profile (although some will type what they think the opposite gender wants to "hear"..lol..).

If he's piqued my interest, I write........even if it's just to give him a compliment (assuming he's geographically too far for me.....:-(.......
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 82
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looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:58:37 AM
Oh, bollocks. Humans are just like the other creatures of this planet. If you study ANY non-human behaviors, you will see again and again, that all mating starts with VISUAL attraction and labeling, and is then FOLLOWED by other considerations.

Here in a dating site set up, where one can look without fear that someone will PHYSICALLY approach you in response to your gaze, men and women alike look at the pictures, and then either jump directly to trying to communicate, or they read the profiles first, and THEN ignore them (if the pic is hot enough).

Yeah, sure, in REAL LIFE, they don't HAVE the information on your profile available to them to be able to reject you right away, but so what? Are you going to delude yourself that because you met a woman on the street, and she doesn't know YET that you secretly kidnap mail carriers to use as slaves, that she wont reject you JUST as fast once she finds out? Do you actually think that meeting you in person, that they wont mistake something about your visual appearance and reject you in error?

Bollocks.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 83
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:48:23 AM
britt884
Well the picture is the first thing you see, so obviously looks are what is going to draw you in. I think initial physical attraction is important. After all, no matter how nice of a person someone is, there is no relationship potential if you are not attracted to them. BUT, I do always read the profiles. Personality is what keeps me with someone in the long run.



^^^Yep, I agree. The picture is the first thing I noticed when doing searches. Then I clicked to read profiles of those that caught my attention. That's how I met the first guy I dated from an online profile. The guy I'm with now got my interest by sending me a message before I even seen his photo or profile. I definitely checked out both his photo and profile before writing to him. The dating site didn't allow non paying members to message so I had to decide if he was worth joining for.
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