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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?      Home login  
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 GAAL1963
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 1
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Each holiday seems to be a great opportunity to get out have some fun and mingle yet I know some that dread holiday get togethers with friends or family because they feel like the "Single".

Would you rather be alone, find something else do to, rent a date, or go it alone and deal with the fact your alone?
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 2
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:47:29 PM
I can't say I dread the holidays, because it's hard for our family to get together, we're spread out. As far as Christmas family get togethers go, "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" seems to ring a bell with me. It's funny when it comes to Turkey Day & X-mas, folks seek endless perfection. Some of the most memorable holidays I've had is when things go wrong! Yes, when it comes to my family, I'm the only one flying solo, it's been that way for 20 something years, so I'm use to it.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 3
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:26:51 PM
oh boy, do i know what you mean!!!

and in 3 weeks, i don't know how i'm going to avoid my family... my grandmother is turning 90 and we are having a HUGE party for her.

i am the oldest of 17 first cousins and my sister and i are the only ones over the age of 25 who have not married and reproduced.

should be a real "blast"...

NOT!

*sigh*
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 4
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:49:47 PM
GAAL1963 <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
You hit it right on the head..
Oh yeah.. it's a good time to "mingle" etc..
and plenty "pals", friends, relatives, neighbors, etc.,
invite and "have someone for me to meet"..
One always feels like the "5 wheel"..
I'm getting diareaah just thinking bout all thi s..
Holidays are NOT a good time for me..
I avoid em like the plague...
I 'm now getting depressed just telling
yous and typing this about "holidays"..
Heck.. I'm bout ready to curl up in a ball
and maybe when I re-open my eyes..
the "holidays" will be over..
---SoldierByte---
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 5
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:49:59 PM
As a single person I still enjoy the holidays with family and friends.. There is nothing in the world I would rather do than to be with them.. Why stay home and sulk?

I would never rent a date and would only bring a date to one of my family functions if we knew one another for some time..

thecatsmeoww
 bernta
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 6
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:02:11 PM
I don't mind family gatherings...I have three single sisters. One widowed, one divorced, and one never married. I'd much rather show up alone than with some of the "Phils" they have come up with. (My brother calls them all "Phil" because he says they just PHIL in until the next guy comes along!)

What does bother me is going to other non-family gatherings: picnics, graduation parties, house parties. Since most of my friends are married I feel more like the odd person out at those. (Actually, I usually am the "odd person" but that's a whole other topic!)

What I am dreading most is my son's wedding coming up in Aug. His dad and his new wife will be there. I really don't want to be there ALONE! I've already started the begging process with a couple of my bestlooking, manliest friends! If that fails, I may resort to desperate measures...like a mass emailing to all the POF men in my area. Surely one would have pity for me and help me out!
 stone_artly
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 7
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:21:19 PM
My family? They put the word FUN in dysFUNctional. Unfortunalty I'm their king
 *Starstuff*
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 8
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:22:01 PM
I've would LOVE to be able to get together for family gatherings no matter what my circumstances. Since I was 25 I've never lived close enough to be able to get to many of the gatherings. It's gotten so I'm not even invited because they assume I won't be able to be there. Talk about feeling abandoned and left out! I'm the youngest of six spread out over 20 years and have tons of nieces, nephew, and even great nieces and nephews.

If your family is not abusive nor REALLY super dysfunctional (all families are dysfunctional in one way or another), then you should be feeling lucky that you have family near enough to socialize with.
 Mustangtoni
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 9
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:31:30 PM
When my hubby first died...I did not attend any family holiday get togethers...The only way I could deal with it, is if they celebrated on another day. That lasted for a couple years...

Now, I have no problem being single at holiday family and friend functions...No one treats me like a 5th wheel..I just feel blessed that I have family and friends, and they love me just as I am..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:27:12 PM

I'd much rather show up alone than with some of the "Phils" they have come up with. (My brother calls them all "Phil" because he says they just PHIL in until the next guy comes along!)

That's awesome! I love that...too funny!
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 11
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:44:00 PM
...all my friends and family knows that I am single and unattached...so it's really no big deal if I happen to show up. Beside why would I want to pass up a free meal!
 caddboy
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 12
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:19:02 PM
I love going to family get togethers, no one cares if I'm single and they always have someone I should meet. My kids get to see all their cousins and so do I. I feel truly blessed that we all get along despite being typically dysfunctional.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 13
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:21:01 PM
^^^Yikes. My family is mostly out of state and I never cared if I went to parties or whatever alone, but I WOULD avoid them altogether if they started trying to fix me up at them. I'd like to drink, laugh and eat without having to entertain some dude.
 quilter54
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 14
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:21:44 PM
Wow - I've avoided a few get togethers because I knew someone I didn't care for would be there, but I've never ever been afraid to go some where because I'm SINGLE! Geez. Aren't we all, whether we have partners or not, single individuals? I enjoy my friends, whether they are paired up or not.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 15
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 11:18:40 PM
...No, I love getting together with my family. I hosted the Christmas diiner lats year and enjoyed every minute of it. We try to make time together at least once a month. More often in the summertime.

I've been single so long my family would be shocked if I brought someone haha


...maeflowers
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 16
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 1:02:16 AM
i've always liked holidays. during the almost ten years between my two husbands, did them as single w/o any problem. i had a married neighbor back east, who included me as family and i hosted many large parties where everyone pitched in and did the work with me. most of this latter group was single. here, my married neighbors often invite me and vice versa.

now i have my own grown kids and as they branch out, sometimes it's lonely but for the most part i get at least one of them! this july 4th should be fun, town parade, my favorite rock band in the park, kid and guy friend coming over, along with my grandson and my married neighbors. perhaps i'll gather some more who are alone from my meetup groups. thus, we have a mix of single and married, all ages, no issue. we also can walk to fireworks on the beach from here. my dog's valium is ready to go! he hates the noise, but is looking forward to the barbecue! my two dogs and three cats are also single. but they are all couch potatoes.

last christmas and new years, i spent alone. mother's day was mostly alone as one kid had to work, one was far away and one celebrated with me the day after so she could take her son to see his dad's family. it's all good and all different and not etched in stone. during the winter holidays, i spent a lot of time on the phone with my pof friends. i just needed to find my cave for a while. kind of know what the men are talking about after that!
 kornbluth
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 17
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 5:14:04 AM

Would you rather be alone, find something else do to, rent a date, or go it alone and deal with the fact your alone?

Rent a date? Misery may love Company, but Company doesn't always love Misery. If you happen to be alone, then you don't have much choice than to deal with it, do you? Or, you could hold your breath and turn blue, and see what happens.
 HDspringer09
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 18
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:02:38 AM
Since I don't really have a family (never had kids, no sisters or brothers, parents and aunts and uncles gone, cousins out of the picture) most of my holidays are spent with activities of my POW-MIA, Troops, Veterans Support Groups. Examples; tomorrow, (4th of July), I'll be riding with a couple of hundred bikes in a major Independence Day Parade. On Thanksgiving, I usually go to a short ceremony giving thanks to those who have sacrificed. Memorial Day, Veterans' Day, are always filled with Patriotic events. Most of the activities are at least a hundred miles away, so the turn into a whole day's activity. Other holidays, I do just spend like any other day...without a family or SO, really, they are just like every other day.
It's not that I avoid the get-togethers...there just really aren't any to avoid!
 Funroseyposey
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 19
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:40:45 AM
Lol,, No rentals,,,I'll go alone, and have a very nice time mingling and visiting with everyone. Stay home alone???,,,No way. Actually, when someone walks in "solo", everyone turns to look and see who's coming in, so put on a big smile, and say hello to everyone.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 20
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:57:59 AM
I have no living family, but am considered part of several friends families. There was never an expectation in my family, and isn't in my friends families that I be anything other than who I am. They have no reason to want to pressure me to be in a relationship. People who care about me only want whatever makes me happy for me.

Yes, I have seen dysfunctional family cause each other grief..................sad. All I can say is set boundries for dysfunctional family member and stand back and wait till they get used to the idea.
 karsmith5594
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 21
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:16:52 PM
I don't know why, HD, but you seem to pop up wherever I am on this site. I think you're growing on me..........go figure
 HDspringer09
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 22
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:24:52 PM
I'm not so sure about that, Miss Karen...I just looked at your last five posts...I'm only in one of those forums...this one! Guess I'd better read the others and catch up, huh!!
 wacowboy3
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 23
Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:25:47 AM
Where does one find one of those rent a dates ? Are they expensive? Come with a contract ?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:30:29 AM
I don't care that I'm the one there that's single, besides, lots of people are single, but anyway, I hate crowds so yeah, I'm most likely going to bow out of a family get-together.

My daughter is talking about going to a new friend's house for the Fourth of July, this person who's throwing the party sometimes has more than 100 guests....100+ guests at a backyard BBQ....makes me shudder to think about it, I'd rather have a root canal.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 25
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Do you avoid Holiday Get Togethers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:05:28 PM
Several of my friends (all single) and I were invited to a 65 birthday celebration of a friend (single). The rest of the guests (mostly family) were all married.

Both the men and women started to chat (in a nice enough way) about the fact we were all single and enjoying it. I started telling them cute stories about what it means to be happily single in todays world at our age. It was so funny the looks on (especially the women's) faces. I got the feeling by the end of the chat that several people where looking at being single was indeed a good choice for people who enjoyed it.

I think the secret is to look inside. If a person is unhappy being single, I can quite understand why they would be wanting to skip a holiday get together rather than face would they wanted but didn't have.

It is all about what we are comfortable with. If we are single anyway, it seems best to me to take advantage of all the good point of that lifestyle, and enjoy the life we have.
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