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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?      Home login  
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 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 2
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?Page 1 of 1    
Incompatibility comes in many shapes and sizes but if I polled the people I know, infidelity, despite the fact that it seems that sooo many have experienced this, is not the major reason that people split and is probably always a symptom of bigger problems in the union.

I think it boils down to the level of commitment. Really, really bad marriages can be saved with the right counseling, I mean the type in which one party is constantly calling the other person excruciatingly hateful and belittling names, etc. Both people have to want to fix things.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 5
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:29:11 PM
there are many factors to why a marriage breaks apart:

first among them I believe is:

communication, they don't talk about the issues that causes the marriage to work, and have the issues resolve.

lack of effort: after period of time,couples start relying on each other's schedule, that usually remains the same, they don't do the honeymoon date night and so forth as they did in the beginning, no random, spontaneous acts of dating or romance, it becomes stagnant. Which may bring one partner to be less interested in sex, to be less initiating. Which brings to boredom, and they seek an outlet to help it . Also if they aren't getting hte communication, and if they aren't resolving the lack of sex, and the other person isn't bothered to want sex, then he/she will seek it elsewhere to feel wanted.

lack of commitment; person may be bored and they want a thrill of a chase, so they seek elsewhere to get variety. both couples don't commit to do things differently in their sex life and to help nourish the love they have for each other, over period of time, it's just there, and they do their own thing and they accept that.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 7
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:55:06 PM
Thank goodness for infidelity. As a single parent the group of women the seem to have the least issues with me having kids are the women that are all ready married. Add to this they don't want dinners out on the town or high end birthday gifts, it is just a good thing. To your question:

Q: do you agree that infidelity is a major cause of the breaking up of couples, married and unmarried?

A: It might add to a break up fire if they get found out, but why did they stray in the first place.

Marriage is the leading reason for divorce. and women expecting "a man is willing to contribute 70% of his income to the child's upbringing" or better said 70%-100% of the income to the items a wife tells him is needed for the child. Like her new car and outfits have anything to do with that. The article is way one sided.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 9
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/6/2009 2:22:30 PM
As I read this I took it perfetly in context. Here is one more "The new mother starts to make wifelike demands on the man". What a joke, same old BS. If the women make a dammand like go make more money while I stay at home and take care of the child, why can't the father make the same dammand. The person wrote this thing as if one size fits all and let me tell you one size does not fit all, but the "wifelike demands on the man" being made by a married or unmarried women might be a reason for break ups. Making demands lol.
 tass08
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 10
Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/6/2009 2:31:45 PM

" There is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in this country as the collapse of marriage."

I call absolute bullsh|t on this. We're at WAR. In TWO COUNTRIES. We've been at war for EIGHT YEARS. If there isn't more human misery caused by the fact that we are FIGHTING TWO WARS then we are NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

(I don't usually yell like that, but WTF?)
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 14
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:40:39 PM
Yes, people marry too soon, what's the reason, they're in looooove. Or the guy knocked up the girl. Then once they have kids, the priorities shift, and the other parent can't stand being second or third.

And I think some couples do stay for the sake of the kids, I've had a few friends like that, and they end up miserable, and fighting around the kids. So martying yourself for the sake of th ekids isn't a good thing unless the couple goes for counseling and they both seek to resolve the issues.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 17
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:04:29 AM
It's sad about the children. However, the problem isn't divorce - it's marriage. People marry too easily, too often the wrong person, and almost always without the skills needed to make the relationship function well. Then, they exacerbate the problems by having children, which increases the stresses on the relationship, often resulting in emotional or sexual neglect and dissatisfaction. That leads to divorce or to infidelity which leads to divorce.

If it were difficult to marry, and required education and psychological evaluations for mutual compatibility beforehand, the problem would be largely solved.

Fix the underlying cause of the problems, and the symptoms will diminish. They'll never go away completely, because human nature is what it is.

Cohabitation isn't a problem either - marriage doesn't ensure commitment, and marriage simply increases the sense of desperation when it goes badly, because it IS hard to get out of fairly and amicably.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 19
Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:41:08 AM
I think that infidelity comes from a deeper problem that doesn't get addressed. Distance between the partners for a variety of reasons leads to one or both finding closeness with someone else.

Many couples, especially those under 25, do not know how to communicate in a mature way. Many just suppress issues until it's way too late.

Though cheating, like in the case of Jon and Kate probably the match that ignited the fire, they were drowning in the gasoline that burned them out far before the infidelity rumors started. I never really watched that show, but I did catch a few over the course of the many seasons it aired. Even in the beginning I thought, "These two don't communicate at all, and it seems like they resent each other."
 philrook
Joined: 1/20/2005
Msg: 21
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Time Magazine Cover Story Unfaithfully Yours Why do couples break up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:18:58 PM
What breaks up marriages is a simple question. The people in a marriage break it up. For a marriage to break up one or both parties have to give up on it.

Now, as to the reasons that a person gives up on their marriage. This question is wide open and depends heavily on an individuals character.
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