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 CharmedinKtown
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 3
How many is too many?Page 1 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
A person is entitled to whatever they want as long as they and their partners are being safe. Its completely subjective.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 4
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:05:00 AM
Only insecure people are worried about the number of sexual partners their SO have had.
 SLandis09
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 6
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:38:58 AM
If you have to keep count, you're insecure and doubt your own ability to be perform.
This is an ego problem.
I've been onstage for over 45 years. I lost count by the time I was 20.
I stopped putting notches on my bed post because they all fell off.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:57:58 AM

what about if they have an STD and don't even know about it? I'd rather not take the chance..

Your logic is flawed. What about the virgin who's contracted an STD thru non-penetrative contact with someone who's infected and didn't know it? What about the person who's had a 20 yr long marriage and has only been with one partner.. who cheated.. and brought it home with them? According to your logic, they've only had ONE partner.. should be safe... right? Yes... STDs are horrible and nasty and a real buzz killer. Leaving your house is a risk these days... for many reasons. If you are going to think in those terms, you might as well not get out of bed every day.

Practice safer sex. Get tested regularly, between partners, once a year minimum. It's not perfect, but it's better than nothing.

As for how many is too many?? Totally subjective. I have many more partners than my current guy does. Guess what? It doesn't matter. I have many more partners than my ex does. Didn't matter then either.

Decide what matters to you and go with it. No one else's opinion, outside your partner's, should matter or count.
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 9
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:19:08 AM
I have never found collecting people as some thing I would do. I would enjoy and respect all the woman life sends my way.
I am a one woman man, I tried dating more then one woman but it was to much like work.
If you just want to screw as many as you can. it think it takes the special out of it. Dogs screw people ( I hope ) make love.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 10
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:46:01 AM
To me no number is too many,unless of course they're still running up the tally after we've become involved.
 ketch
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 12
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:26:30 AM
at the same time?

Ketch
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:10:29 AM
Judging by the replies to various threads on this topic, she's had too many partners if she's had as many or more partners than the guy who wants to date her.
 concreteboots
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 19
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:31:57 AM
Cant say it matters,if you constantly look backwards ,thats the direction u end up travelling.
 CharmedinKtown
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 21
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:05:47 AM
"good girls don't sleep around".... perhaps you should start looking at WOMEN instead of GIRLS. You are old school where someone's sexual history is a reason to judge them harshly.

I have loads of confidence, I am happy and well rounded, and my numbers only reflect my ability to be comfortable around others. I am not disclosing how many but honestly, your logic escapes me as a woman who doesn't regret anything.

Humans can have sex for pleasure... we are lucky we are built that way. My suggestion is you find an Old School Woman. There are plenty of them around. But your name calling means that you are a close minded and petty person. I wish you luck with that.
 MIkeJ1904
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 22
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:08:55 AM
Since when does having multiple sex partners equal low self-esteem?
What difference does child birth have in the equation?

In the end, if you feel that your partner has had too many sexual partners in the past then the two of you are not compatible and the both of you should move on.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:32:05 AM
Any time this issue comes up, I actually have to stop and count them off in my head. Not because it's a large number, but because I don't think it's important enough to commit to memory. I never think about it.

I don't ask a partner unless the subject keeps coming up, in the form of her talking about former lovers, and seems like a lot to me. (And I'm general more interested in recent history than ancient.) I've found that women who are self-centered and selfish tend to sleep around a lot, and that women who have issues about their self-worth, also tend to feel that sex is the one thing they have to make people like them.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 28
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:55:58 AM
... Increased partners is not a linear expansion in risk, it is an exponential increase...ie if you double the risk with each partner how long before the risk becomes too great...?

Since probabilities have values between 0 and 1, what you just said means that if you have two exposures, each with a 50-50 chance of infecting you, you will have a total probability of 1 - (1/2)^2 = 0.75 of being infected (the correct number) instead of (1/2) + (1/2) = 1.0. So, a linear increase would put your odds at 100% and with 3 exposures, your odds would 150%, which doesn't even make sense. The words you use as scare tactics actually imply the opposite of what you intend. (Do you know what linear and exponential mean?)


Low self-esteem is often hand in hand with multiple sex partners.... do a google search..

Correlation does not imply causation. Look in any statistics book. What does cause low self-esteem is treating people as if they were incapable of making a decision for themselves. You seem to think women are incapable of making such decisions on their own free will unless they are emotionally damaged. Your speculative, hollow disclaimer at the end doesn't negate your intent. sheeesh...
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 29
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:01:55 PM
I stand by first comment.....
if you are worried about the number......you are insecure about something!

I'm 46 yrs old.....and my sexual past.......is mine. Whether I've had 4 partners or 40 partners, the only thing that is of your concern is if I'm a disease free.

this discussion isn't about being honest when asked "how many".......it is about someone caring how many that number is.
Especially when there is no "right" answer.
If someone replied they've only had 2 sexual partners........then it would be "assumed" they have issues with sex.
If someone replied they've had 20 partners......then would be considered promiscuous whores.
At my age........and for the number of years I have been single.......I could have only had 1 sex partner per year........and easily have a very high number.
How is that relevant to what is happening with a new man/woman in someone's life?
How does that help a man/woman interpret what type of person we are now?
What if someone had a bad year after a divorce.....and racked up a dozen partners......but only had sex twice in the 15 years after that?
There are way too many "life" variables to "judge" someone by a number.

As someone else stated.......as long as the number of partners they have while having sex with me is "1"......that's all I need to know.
And any man that is fixated on how many partners I've had......is not the type of man I can see myself staying with. In my experience, anyone that ask this type of question.....is going to be asking all kinds of other silly questions I don't care to deal with!
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 30
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:26:07 PM
Men and women should never ask that question. It is personal, and none of your business. Plus, it is not relevant to the relationship. A person could of had 20 or more great monogamous relationships, and that would haveno bearing on them as a person. Just meant that the person may of had 20 relationships that did not go well.
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 33
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:05:43 PM

I stand by first comment.....
if you are worried about the number......you are insecure about something!


Amen to that!

I never ask that question... the only question I care about is have you been tested and were the results A-OK.
 concreteboots
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 37
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:56:44 AM
Now ,this is hyerpatheical, if the said person ;had bouts of skitzopfernia can or should those alleged sexual liasons(self inflicted or administered) be counted in the tally or ommited.cant spell for sh^t ,mabey tommorow?
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 47
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How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:19:46 PM
The number of people is completely and totaly irrelavent and nobodys business but your own!! If you need to know such a thing then you would be completely insecure and need to look into yourself as to why it would matter!
 alwaysatwork
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 53
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:27:16 PM
I don't think it matters how many partners a person has , it's the ability to please. I was with this guy, I was his 2nd,(& let's just say I had a leg up on him) he happened to be one of the best lovers I have ever had..I've also been with a guy that had dozens of women & he sucked. The number shouldn't matter, only what the person learns from their previous experiences, that's what makes them a better lover..
 Jessica-Victoria
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 55
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:58:01 PM
I have been sexually involved with many guys. More than most women my age.
A lot of guys are bothred by that.

I don't care. It's in the past. Sex and making love aren't the same thing .

But what makes me mad is a guy who brags about his number but gets offended if you have the same or GOD FORBID higher.
 sexy1200
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 60
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:11:48 AM
Sex and love are two different things.

Sex is just physical where two people give each other physical pleasure while making love is both physical and mental.

If I have sex with someone it doesn't mean I love them and If I love a person its not that I will stop loving them if I don't have sex with them.

Then how can they be the same thing?
 Jessica-Victoria
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 67
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:39:37 AM
When two people make love it's something they can both tell.
I t's more emotional and not just getting off.
 alwaysatwork
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 68
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:51:22 AM
I would like some feed back from the men. This my situation..I ran around alot when I was younger(teenager to early adult), but as an adult have had a very limited amount of sexual partners and have even been celibate a couple of years at a time. I am currently saving myself for a long term relationship before I sleep with someone again. Does my promiscuous past matter? Does it count that now I am saving myself for someone who is worth the wait?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 70
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:29:32 PM

I am currently saving myself for a long term relationship before I sleep with someone again. Does my promiscuous past matter? Does it count that now I am saving myself for someone who is worth the wait?

Your past would not matter to me. However, what would matter is the way it's affected your behaviour in the present, which in this case, seems to be too much of a radical shift in the other direction for me. What I DON'T want is someone who lives with regrets and is trying to somehow atone or apologize for the past. I would not wait, but that just means we wouldn't be a match, not that your desire to wait is wrong. That depends on why you are waiting.
 Jessica-Victoria
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 78
How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:49:54 PM
Well Im glad I won't be a virgin on my wedding night. I want that to be special and not hurt and make me bleed.
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