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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Whats up with all these Virgins      Home login  
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 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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Whats up with all these VirginsPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Seriously what are women waiting for?
not trying to be rude just would like to here the reasonings and have you been
tempted many times??

Who cares what the reasoning is. It's their decision/choice, not yours. Presuming of course that everyone has had the same experiences and opportunities isn't a good thing. I gave mine away ridiculously early and for the wrong reasons. My ex was 23/24 when I took his.

Perhaps, based on the increase in STD's they are only being careful for their health and future reproductive opportunities.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 11
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:58:52 AM
I'm a 50-year-old male virgin. In my case, I'm not waiting for anything; I'm just rather asexual, not interested in having sex with anyone. And I've never really been tempted; even when I lived with my last girlfriend and shared a bed with her, I never wanted to go beyond things like hugging and cuddling to sex.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 26
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:13:02 AM
You say virgin like it's a bad thing.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 27
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:17:30 AM
OP: You make virginity sound like it's an "ancient" thing. If both men and women decide to wait, that is THEIR choice.

Why should you care?
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 28
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:23:41 AM
Like another poster said... you say that like it's a bad thing.

I want to save sex for a relationship where I know and care for the person and vice versa, and when we've been together a while.

Besides which, I'm only 19. Lol, the number of guys who express such surprise that I'm "still" a virgin. Some of them can't comprehend that just because I CAN legally have sex, doesn't mean I will right now. I'll do it when I'm good and ready. Even IF everyone my age IS doing it (which I highly doubt)... doesn't mean I'll do it just for that reason; I'm a person, not a sheep.

Tempted? Sometimes vaguely... but not enough to go ahead and do it. It's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about, really.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 29
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:32:27 AM

Well I think these women are educated. The know what they want and will not settle for less.



Yep, for me it is partly knowing what I want. I know that I don't want to engage in sex immediately. I don't see it as any different from someone who knows they want a lot of sex in their relationship... at least they know what they want.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 30
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:49:19 AM

Seriously what are women waiting for?

Me, but I'm having difficulty staying caught up. Feel free to take on a few.
 claridiva2000
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 32
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:49:21 PM
i'm a virgin because of my pretty conservative christian upbringing, and because its not worth the risk to me to get pregnant or get an std. i don't have health insurance! it would be extremely stupid of me. lol!

when i go out on dates, guys ask the dreded question "you're amazing, so why are you still single". this is an innocent enough question, but it ALWAYS leads to a string of questions that ends up with "wait....you're a virgin arn't you"
it seems :
5% think its cool and can go w/ it because they were brought up the same way, or at least can respect it. and a few figure "hey....that means i can teach her to do it just the way i like it!"
another 5% think i'm lying to them. "yeah....SUUUURRRE you are...."
90% keep asking questions to see if they can at least get some head, or a hand job. of this group about half would stick around as long as i'm eventually willing to stroke thier salami every once in a while. and the other half disappear. i'm ok w/ that since i usually make up my mind to loose thier number long before they do.
my odds don't look so good so far. :-)
it kinda sucks sometimes. but i think its worth the wait. at least i think i'm worth waiting for, and would be a very apt "student" for my future husband.
virgin doesn not automatically mean "prude".
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 35
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/13/2009 2:49:33 AM
I knew a girl in high school who called herself a 'virgin', but she handed out blow jobs like they were candy, and had anal sex with every guy she went out with.
I found it ridiculous that she still considered herself to be a 'virgin'. She had the worst reputation in the school, and was passed around like a foottball.
Some people just amaze me.
Beth
 serious bean
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 37
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:23:16 AM
LOL you cannot be serious!
 Okietokie88
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 38
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:36:07 AM
I don't mind being a male Virgin, I mean I did when I was younger but the older I get the more I see the importance of waiting for the right person. It sucks when you have a lady friend that you're smitten with that you don't know but the absolute last thing I want to do is become obsessed with someone so that lingers in my head at times as well. I don't feel ashamed but I do play it close to the vest if you catch my drift lol
 flamencocat
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 39
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:48:56 PM

90% keep asking questions to see if they can at least get some head, or a hand job. of this group about half would stick around as long as i'm eventually willing to stroke thier salami every once in a while. and the other half disappear. i'm ok w/ that since i usually make up my mind to loose thier number long before they do.


Ha ha! Too funny. I'm a virgin, have never been on a date and I'm 25. Yes, I know, such a big loser :-P At least I have money now to go on fun dates.

Yes I have religious reasons for remaining a virgin (practicing Catholic ) . However, I also don't want to get pregnant nor do I want an STD. And especially because I've waited so long, I can't imagine having sex with a guy and then breaking up with him. I'd be devastated. I'd feel used, like a whore. No, not every girl who's had premarital sex is a whore. I'm just talking about how I would feel about myself.

I take sex too seriously, love myself too much and love my body too much to just give it away to anyone. I'm not expecting to marry a fellow virgin, but he has to be committed enough to us to "teach me" as it were, to put up with what might INITIALLY be "bad sex." If a guy needs to have "good sex" from the get-go in order to be in a relationship with a girl, he's probably not the guy for me anyway.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 40
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:34:46 PM
Dude, you gotta let me know where you're meeting these girls 'cause it'd be nice to find someone with some self respect for a change!
I'd imagine they also know how to respect others, which could be somewhat of a novelty.
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 42
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:40:52 PM
Maybe it has to do with their upbringing.

I had a pretty strict christian upbringing, which shaped me to be sexually repressed. Even though I completely abandoned it by the time I was 17, it took until I was 21 to just bite the bullet and see a hooker.

A Vietnamese friend of mine has been to a hooker once, but finds it difficult because of serious guilt feelings as a result of communist ideology being pumped into his brain since he was a kid.

I hope the next generation will be less f*cked than we are!
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 43
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:44:28 PM
Why do other people care so much what others are doing?

Who cares if someone is a virgin. That is their choice.

That said, I'm yet to meet a well adjusted, attractive person over the age of about 22 or 23 who is still a virgin.

Being a virgin at that point really means having never been in love of never having been in a serious relationship.

At 23, if a person has still been dateless, there are other issues at play.

But one last thing. The virgins who act like by being a virgin they are better than everyone else... that shiz annoys me.

Probably because I used to be one of them. And it's such an incredibly ignorant attitude to have.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 45
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:20:19 PM

I here ya OP, I wont date a virgin because I don't want to teach someone things but especially at my age you shouldn't be a virgin and if I came across one I would be asking why this person is still a virgin.

If you are above the age of 20 you shouldn't be a virgin. Virginity is something to be cast away not to be held like some type of gift. I think some people worry a little too much about getting diseases or pregnant and it has turned them into paranoid people.


I disagree with that completely. Some people have good reasons for being a virgin. Just because you don't doesn't mean that nobody does. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin as long as you want.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 47
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:08:36 PM

there is not one good reason you should be a virgin past the age of 20, honestly I would be thinking something is mentally wrong with them like they have some sort of baggage they aren't letting go of that makes them so uptight about it that they don't have the ability to let go enough to allow someone to have sex with them.

Yes there are those that are not as fortunate and don't get the chance to be with someone in that respect but that can easily be fixed by seeing an escort.


There are several good reasons. One is religion. You might not think it matters, but it's very important to some people. Another is that some people only want to have sex with someone they truly love and they haven't found someone that they feel that strongly about. They don't want to lose their virginity to an escort.

Just because you don't see it as a good reason doesn't mean it isn't one. I am 21 years old, I am a virgin by choice and I am darn proud of that.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 51
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:38:42 AM
I was a virgin till I was 21... and I am glad I waited.

That said, I wish I had not had the superior attitude about it while I was. Looking back on that, it was kind of ridiculous and it shames me.

If I had had sex sooner, I know that I would have been a lot less uptight about dating.

The thing about being a virgin, is the older you get without being de-virginized, the bigger of a deal sex becomes...

When in actuality sex is just another form of compatiblity - albeit an important one.

Until I had sex, looking back, I honestly do not believe I was ready or capable of a functional adult relationship.

And after marrying a girl I took the virginity of, I would never date another virgin girl again either. A person cannot truly know who they are or what they like if they're still a virgin. It's impossible.
 Deerclan
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 55
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:10:20 AM
"its like findind a VHS casset , lol"

Actually it's like finding an *un-opened* VHS cassette. Or an un-opened bottle of wine. Or .........

IOW, learn to look beyond the facts & contemplate all the delicious possibilities.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 61
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:02:51 AM
Again, that's not true. I can open myself up emotionally and I do it in my closest friendships. I haven't found a girl I've dated who's been worth opening up to, maybe I'm just better at picking friends than dates. But to suggest you can't have emotions if you haven't had sex is just ludicrous.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 64
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:02:24 AM

So for all you virgins out there, I say, good on you. It shows a whole lot of self control and I say bravo. When the time is right, it will be amazing for you.


Though in my case, I'm a 51-year-old male virgin, and it didn't take self-control at all, just following my natural inclination. With my last girlfriend, we lived together for months, slept in the same bed, were talking about marriage, and I'd say I loved her. But while I liked cuddling together in bed, I never wanted to actually have sex with her; the whole thing just didn't appeal to me.

And judging by my inclinations and past experience, I'd say that the time will never be right for me.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 67
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:41:59 AM

If you go to this site you will find practical steps in learning how to take calculated risks for your own well being.I hope you find yourself a "worthy" female to take some risks with.....you OWE it to yourself man!


I hope I do too, because that means I've found someone who is worth marrying and I've married her. That's what I mean by worthy. There is no girl in this world who is worth losing my virginity to before she becomes my wife.

I know darn well all women are worthy of love and respect. But it's the second I marry one that I become okay with having sex with her. Before that moment comes, sex is something that's not for me to know.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 68
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:36:02 AM
This topic comes down to religion that's the only reason someone would stay a virgin. That's my problem with religion. They try to control peoples lives. Obviously it works. I cant believe so many people sit around worshiping a book written by (obviously an awesome author) as he's sucked so many people into believing his story. Personally id say it's a crappy book but that's my opinion. Religion is no different than any other business out there. It's all about the money. I find it sad that so many people feel it is a good thing to give these people money who turn around and brain wash you. Money well spent I think not. I think your money would be better going to a councilor who could reverse all the crap the church put in peoples heads. I do understand why someone would wait till you really care about someone before having sex. But love should come before marriage right. So wait till your in love not married. As long as the 2 of you love each other and enjoy the time together why rush into marriage.. Really all marriage is is a piece of paper.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 69
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:41:35 AM
nighthawk. Your profile sais your catholic. I know a few catholics and your religion sais it's not only wrong to have sex till marriage but you cant even live with each other till marriage. That's not cool. I think it is very important to live with someone for a while before marriage as that is the only way you will really get to know them.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 71
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:41:59 PM
Can I clear up this nonsense about only religious people wanting to remain virgins, I'm non-religious, I agree there is nothing wrong with waiting until you're married or at the least until you're in love if that's what you want to do. It is in no way damaging to want to wait, however it IS damaging to apply peer pressure to people to try getting them to do things they don't want or are not ready for just because your beliefs are different.
It doesn't matter if you're 16, 20, 30 or older, it is always a persons own choice what they do and you should all learn to respect each other and the unique choices we all make.
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