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 Dayz411
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 1
When do guys grow upPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So after talking to several guys - and most of them are just looking for FUN

I'd have to wonder at what age do guys grow out of just that fun stuff.

Even at 24 I've had my share of fun - I'm looking for something more stable in life. I'm not saying let's get married, but more so lets get to know each other and see and see what comes of it.

So again I ask... what age do most guys grow out of their play stage - and realize its time to have something a bit more real in life?
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 2
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:37:34 AM
88?

Messages this short may not be posted
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 3
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:41:04 AM
For some, I'm convinced that it's never!
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 4
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:41:06 AM
crap, at 24 and you've already had your share of fun? What else do you have to look forward to in life?
I"m 48 and I have learned I have never really had my "share" of fun. I bet most people feel the same. How did you have your share? was it at the expense of everyone and everything else in your life?
Maybe I have always had "something a bit more real in life" to begin with. Are you generic, OP? Maybe you are really a "bot".????
 Dayz411
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 5
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:49:23 AM
At 18 - once I went to college - I had my share of hooking up with guys and sleeping around - I just really think that it got me no where.

I'd rather get to know people and have them know me - sex is more enjoyable that way - rather than just those one nighters.
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 6
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:50:49 AM
Growing old is mandatory..growing up is a choice.

I like to keep it a nice balance..I can be a big kid when the opportunity allows it and a grown responsible adult when i need to as well.
 blindehorse700
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 7
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:51:01 AM
they dont when there like that get it through your head,a good lookin guy or a guy with a slick tung that tell you just what you want to here,are an always will be users,they dont change same as women when they get older they chase an fall for the same stupid guys
 velverett
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 8
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:52:48 AM
It seems like most guys never do. Personally, I blame the liberal media.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 9
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:54:26 AM
Growing out of having fun sounds a lot like surrendering happiness. Did your father suffer from depression? Maybe your expectations of adult male behavior come from an example of a man who faced each day with grim determination, and so you look for a man who can be as sober as he seemed.

It might help if you state in your ad this preference for men who have left off seeking fun. You could ask for a man who never laughs and doesn't enjoy sex. Promise him he will never have to worry about having fun when he is with you. Call it being a grown-up and see who responds. You never know. There might be a man out there scowling at all the fun ads he reads, holding out for the woman who can make his life as miserable as he knows he deserves.
 oblivion77
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 10
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:55:50 AM
Well, I'm 31 and my last bf was pushing 40, and in terms of maturity, he acted pretty much the same as every guy I'd dated, back to my early twenties.

I think you have to look for that rare mature guy in individuals, not so much in an age range.
 Erinlove
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 11
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:56:50 AM
Well relationships should be fun. Unfortunately "fun" to a lot of guys means drinking, partying, casual sex with you or drugs.

I think making out while watching T.V. is fun.

Men never grow up, didn't you see the post of the married 74 year old guy who wont divorce but is upset he sent 10 messages and hasn't met his "soul mate". For extra icing, notice that he is looking for an "intimate encounter"
 *Sanscheyle*
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 12
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:02:01 AM
Hopefully, never OP. You're 24 and I'm 50 but I can't wait to keep flying that dolphin kite and build the best of the best sandcastle on the beach where I live, but don't get me wrong. I have to be personally accountable for my actions 24/7 at my age but there is no way I'm going to let anyone make me grow up. Some of us grew up too fast (this is what I'm guessing with a lot of guys..they had to be the "man" as early as age 13) so give them a break.

I find fun in having a pillow fight with my guy. Don't you?
I find fun in telling everyone in my local grocery (when we're together) that my guy and I are from West Virginia and used to be brother and sister until we got married. Don't you?

I also find him to be the best part of me whether he's acting like a 17 year old or not. (I watched him juggle 3 rolls of my toilet paper just the other day and will never, ever forget the joyful look on his face as he was doing it (he's 48)..it just wasn't so joyful when he threw all 3 rolls at me and almost knocked me clean out, compliments of Charmin! )

Accept people for who they are right now because when you get my age you'll wish you did.

Sans
 Abbicci
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 13
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:06:57 AM
Do you mean casual sex when you use the word fun or the phrase fun stuff?

Most guys out grow it when they can't find women who are looking for casual sex.

And just because you want something doesn't mean that people who want other things are immature, it just means they want other things.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 14
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:11:29 AM
see, there it is OP,,,,,,,,,, "At 18 - once I went to college - I had my share of hooking up with guys and sleeping around - I just really think that it got me no where."""""""""

when did hooking up and sleeping around become the epitome of having a "fun time"? It never was with me. More likely sounds like the "ho time".

OH, JMO
 IdoDares1
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 15
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:16:58 AM
I think you are mistaking growing up with settling down into a monogamous relationship. One doesn't have to stop 'having fun' because they are grown up. You can be mature and still have an active and diverse sex life, there is no single way to live out your life as a male or a female.

Sounds to me like you suddenly attaching sex to commitment and calling it being mature. It's not, most people (though more males than females) are able to separate sex from emotional commitment. Some people, and it sounds like you are one, have decided that emotional attachment is necessary to get sex. This isn't a sign of maturity, it's a sign that you are ready to settle down with a single partner. Not everyone makes that determination at the same point in life, some not ever, but it doesn't mean they never grew up.
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 16
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:17:23 AM
Men never grow up, didn't you see the post of the married 74 year old guy who wont divorce but is upset he sent 10 messages and hasn't met his "soul mate". For extra icing, notice that he is looking for an "intimate encounter"


Hehehe......
I was going to mention THAT Thread,too.......................: )
So,Op,they never really grow up.................
And,the word "fun" on here is a pseudonym for S E X.......
 retrospeck
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 17
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:36:03 AM
Honestly, I dont date guys in my age group. Even "some" of the older men need to grow up.
 Keiper7
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 18
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:46:52 AM
Fun is not pseudonym for sex.

sex=sex
fun=fun
sometimes sex>fun, but not always.

Some guys will never stop playing the field. Since thats how evolution works, and thats what has allowed the human race to exist to this day, I would bank on it changing any time soon.

For me personally, I stopped having fun when I was about 19...no wait, I still have fun. I stopped looking for meaningless sex when I was that age. I think its all about the personality type of the individual. It has nothing to do with 'growing up' or being 'mature'. Those are two separate things.
 newberrys
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 19
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:55:44 AM
Guy's and Gal's can enjoy life forever! Don't confuse growing up with fun.,young lady. maybe just maybe, if you arn't having fun in the same way as your mate is.....you may think he's immature. NOT TRUE! as we age we find different things exciting, maybe you have aged and he hasn't yet? maybe YOU should look for someone else. in your speed limit. Men always want to be boys somehow,let em'. Don't try to be their mother and take it away. move On!
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 20
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:59:43 AM
Never, never, never ever!
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 21
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:14:55 AM

Fun is not pseudonym for sex.

sex=sex
fun=fun
sometimes sex>fun, but not always.

Some guys will never stop playing the field. Since thats how evolution works, and thats what has allowed the human race to exist to this day, I would bank on it changing any time soon.

For me personally, I stopped having fun when I was about 19...no wait, I still have fun. I stopped looking for meaningless sex when I was that age. I think its all about the personality type of the individual. It has nothing to do with 'growing up' or being 'mature'. Those are two separate things.


Well said, Keiper. This is what was on my mind. I would add that I like men who still

have the playfulness in them-- the fun side. I do, too, yet I still have the balance of

having maturity.

It's unfair to lump all men in this basket. OP. There are a lot of good men out there.
 DemonDingleBerry
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 22
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:21:10 AM

what age do most guys grow out of their play stage - and realize its time to have something a bit more real in life?

IMO it's not gender specific.
Some people never grow up. Some people go through life blaming other people and genders for their problems.

I would just ask if

So after talking to several guys - and most of them are just looking for FUN

these were guys that all first contacted you? If you first contacted them? If there was a mix? And maybe question why you continue to communicate with similar types of guys?
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:26:12 PM
At what age does it become manditory to stop having fun? I realy do not understand why having fun is veiwed as a bad thing. We live in a stressfull world and if we don't allow ourselves to have fun, to be entertained, it will kill us. You have a masters in phscology and you don't understand something as basic and simple as the natural desire to have fun? Come on now, your writing some sort of paper and we are just your lab rats, aren't we!
 chilln73
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 24
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:33:40 PM

what age do most guys grow out of their play stage - and realize its time to have something a bit more real in life


On average men can have sex without serious attachment far more than women can.

That's just reality. Men oft times don't need the same promises of commitment before or after having sex.

As a woman the best thing to do is just accept this quality about men and set your boundaries.

Expect, look for, and test commitment before and after sex if commitment is what you want.

Also you might want to reconsider the type of men you're attracted to in the first place.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 25
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When do guys grow up
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:33:58 PM
"Real": If by "real", you mean "serious" and what we might consider boring...NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!

Isn't being together supposed to be fun? Serious, intense talk and psychoanalyzing to the nth degree can be fun, but there comes a point where it gets exhausting and we simply want to giggle, play, have some sex, turn off the light and go to sleep.
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