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 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 1
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Just looking for some constructive feedback on my profile. Good, bad, ugly, good areas, places that need improvement, red lights, etc. I've never been good at trying to sell myself so I could use some objective criticism. Much appreciate in advance :)
 geminiman222
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 2
Constructive Feedback
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:40:29 PM
hhmmmm, not sure you need help dude. Looks like you get lots of hits, may be your followup. But just looking at it seems to be to wordy. Not sure anyone can get through that and follow you. I would move the paragraph about what you are looking for in a woman to the bottom and put the part of who you are at the top. Say what you have to say with less words, in other words summarize all that.

Look at it like a resume' most employers spend about 15 seconds reviewing a resume, they either can it or it goes to the "call" pile. If it takes her forever to read through it....you get my drift.

Your an interesting guy, just need to show that in fewer words. You can tell them about all the other stuff when you meet them.

Pics, the main pic is to blurry. I would switch with the one with you in the batman shirt...good head shot, shows you have a good build, with out being cheesy...just my opinion.

Do all that and come back and we'll have another look if you want.

Good luck.
 geminiman222
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 3
Constructive Feedback
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:41:53 PM
By the way, like the flat top...
 Temporal Wisdom
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 4
Constructive Feedback
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:32:16 PM

If you are looking for somebody who is obsessed with money and material things then I am not the right person for you. I chose my line of work to help people for a living. I want to be able to provide a good life for myself and my family. I know what it feels like to be cheated on, it's something I wouldn't wish on anybody. I don't get jealous and am pretty secure in who I am. I'm pretty much an open book, as I've learned that life is too difficult when you live with secrets, and hopefully I can find the same type of person. I don't play games and hate when they are played with me.
I'd say this bit is too negative. What use is it to say you don't play games? Who here has on their profile, "I love when people play head games with me?" Try something more like this:

"I chose my line of work to help people for a living, not to get rich, though I do want to be able to provide a good life for myself and my family. I'm pretty much an open book, as I've learned that life is better and easier without secrets, and I want to find someone who knows that also."

I took out the cheating and games parts. And do you see the subtle difference with the parts I left in and changed? Positive, not negative.
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 5
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Posted: 7/20/2009 2:53:10 AM
Thanks for the feedback. Appreciate your time.
 HouseKitten86
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 6
Constructive Feedback
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:10:54 AM
I'll have a go :)

Change your main profile shot to one of your face, not a full length body shot. They can look at those once they actually want to click on your profile. Your third picture is a good one, just make sure you zoom in on your face for the thumbnail :)

Lots of interests, thats good :)

Lines I would cut:

Those who have the attitude, "I say what's on my mind because that's the way I am, and don't care who I offend or hurt in the process".... we will never get along. I'm not like that and don't think that's an admirable quality.


If you are looking for somebody who is obsessed with money and material things then I am not the right person for you.


I know what it feels like to be cheated on, it's something I wouldn't wish on anybody.


I don't play games and hate when they are played with me.


All negative lines. There's not much point talking about what you don't want, no woman is going to read your profile and think to herself 'gosh I do play a lot of games with men, I won't message this guy then'. Talk of past hurts and woes can be saved until you know a woman well enough to divulge that stuff to her :)


Hard to say. I guess it'd have to depend on the person. I'm not a big fan of movies on a first date. Nothing wrong with them but I'd rather talk to a person than stare at a screen for two hours.

I'd cut all of this and just leave what's left in that box. Again, no need to talk about what you don't want, talk about what you do :)

Other than those small things, you have a good, detailed profile :) good luck!
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 7
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Posted: 7/20/2009 5:34:53 PM
2 people saying the same thing usually indicates something. Thanks for your input.
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