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 HVACtech
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 10
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Furniture is generally not the first thing that comes to mind when someone's acquisition of an "occasional piece" leads to divorce.
Quite an interesting new twist on an old theme.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 13
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:11:34 AM
Our break room has a love seat with two attached recliners. Comfy!! I need one of those seriously! I have P.A.D which is a vein problem in the leg. I have poor circulation. I had the laser procedure done but they said I need to prop my leg for better circulation
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 17
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:58:06 AM

I get the analogy you were trying to make, OP. You weren't blaming the furniture for the demise of your marriage, but rather the furniture was an indicator of the status of your relationship within your marriage, in a metaphorical way. I get it. What was once one became two, both the furniture and you two as a married couple.

^^^I understand your meaning as Gubblebum has addressed it...and on a similar note...I also tend to get a bit irritated with someone having their particular 'throne-like' piece of furniture---something wordlessly existing only for one person's usage...(probably some lasting defect from childhood I know :) I definitely think in my own experience anyway, that by looking around someone's home that it often speaks volumes as to a particular 'truth' or undercurrent regarding the state of the union within.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 20
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:54:28 AM
OP: Reading this post one would think that you are blaming a recliner for your marriage failing. lol Goodness! If this were me, I would have gotten up, sat on his lap or invited him over the sofa!! Problem solved!!!

Look at the other elements that contributed to the marriage versus a piece of furniture.

 HVACtech
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 24
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:27:17 AM
Another interesting "together but apart" metaphor:
Almost all of us, I'm sure, have seen the ED-medication TV-ads ... you know ... the ones with a couple holding hands but sitting in separate bathtubs. Isn't that stuff supposed to ... like ... enhance intimacy, not make them want to sit in their own tubs in the middle of the woods?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 28
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:23:43 PM
I have a 25 pound long haired cat that sits in the lazyboy like a person and won't move for anyone. Get a cat. Of course sometimes the cat takes up the entire couch too depending on how much he's eaten.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 33
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/28/2009 10:08:20 AM
Sabrosure wrote:
OP: Reading this post one would think that you are blaming a recliner for your marriage failing. lol Goodness! If this were me, I would have gotten up, sat on his lap or invited him over the sofa!! Problem solved!!!

Look at the other elements that contributed to the marriage versus a piece of furniture.


Yes! I like your thinking!!!!!


I don't know how many times I tried to get MOMS to have a sit upon my lap. Was a no-go.

The thing I like about having a "throne" in the living room is that over time that "throne" gets to feeling just right. A well made chair will conform over time. The other benefit to a recliner is that during those times when you are sick being able to sleep in a semi reclined position really helps.

TK
{And I always thought that the "throne" was that white ceramic chair in the private room where I do the crossword and su doku puzzles}
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 35
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:27:24 PM
They now make love-seat sized recliners, or pole dancing might get his ass out of the chair.

Recliners are also a godsend if you ever have abdominal surgery or are prone to asthma.
 Red Buttons
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 37
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:26:32 AM

^^^I understand your meaning as Gubblebum has addressed it...and on a similar note...I also tend to get a bit irritated with someone having their particular 'throne-like' piece of furniture---something wordlessly existing only for one person's usage...(probably some lasting defect from childhood I know :) I definitely think in my own experience anyway, that by looking around someone's home that it often speaks volumes as to a particular 'truth' or undercurrent regarding the state of the union within.


While this OP might be tossing one more thing up for "discussion" it almost shouts out loud the issues surrounding the relationship demise had nothing to do with furniture. Certainly those here taking this literally might be over reacting those thinking the analogy will be automatically seen by everyone is just as foolish or ill advise. SOME people take others at their word because there's no reason assumptions should be made that everyone "gets us".

But the quotation above seems as wreckless as this OP. Looking around someone's home without knowing much much more about the inhabitants doesn't reveal a thing-----nothing at all! Well perhaps their view of housekeeping but the state of their union isn't on display. What is "seen" perhaps is more a projection of the viewer and their own assumptions, preconceived notions and interpretations of experiences in their lives.

Yes something like separate chairs or even bedrooms has been a harbinger of problems in a relationship but it's NOT a universal thing.

Those who wonder why this is brought up supposedly long after the legal divorce raise good points IMHO!!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 38
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:30:58 AM

But the quotation above seems as wreckless as this OP. Looking around someone's home without knowing much much more about the inhabitants doesn't reveal a thing-----nothing at all! Well perhaps their view of housekeeping but the state of their union isn't on display. What is "seen" perhaps is more a projection of the viewer and their own assumptions, preconceived notions and interpretations of experiences in their lives.

Interesting point and I think you give the OP too much credit, I don't think it was an analogy but I think most people agree that for most families, more than one television is a bad thing. We can all watch what we want. However no one is watching anything together anymore.

If one came into my home, they would assume that we all scatter to diffrent rooms because there is a television in every room of my house but the kitchen and bathroom. Despite the fact that the kids argue all the time and it is not like I haven't ragged on them when their friends are here, everyone likes being at our house. When I asked why, my daughter said that one of her friends said at least your family talks to each other, we go home from church and I don't have anything to do with my family. Another friend told her that most of the arguing the kids do with each other is because they dont sit and just say nothing when someone is acting stupid, they care enough to call each other on their bullshit, no one in our family even talks.

We get back to the balance. If a couple is too much up each other's butts, it is bad, if they don't spend any real quality time together, it is bad. If the recliner truly became a problem to the OP, she could have said fuk the money and rolled it into the street to be run over by a truck and explained to her husband that evil children broke in and vandalized that chair only. Or she could have said I bought you the chair in love but we don't seem to spend any time together anymore so I donated it to charity. Honest communication is a novelty.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 39
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:39:22 AM
The chair it seems to me, was a physical manifestation of the emotional breakdown in your relationship. I've been with men who had their "man chairs" and guess what? I bet if you got up and told him "move over", there would be room for two in it. Just not during a playoff game!

Seriously, OP, I think you've got it out of order. The emotional detachment was there, and the physical detachment followed. If you had stayed on the couch - what difference would it have made in the long run? The separate chairs just made it easier, and less obvious, that something was wrong.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 42
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:16:45 AM


^^^I understand your meaning as Gubblebum has addressed it...and on a similar note...I also tend to get a bit irritated with someone having their particular 'throne-like' piece of furniture---something wordlessly existing only for one person's usage...(probably some lasting defect from childhood I know :) I definitely think in my own experience anyway, that by looking around someone's home that it often speaks volumes as to a particular 'truth' or undercurrent regarding the state of the union within.

But the quotation above seems as wreckless as this OP. Looking around someone's home without knowing much much more about the inhabitants doesn't reveal a thing-----nothing at all! Well perhaps their view of housekeeping but the state of their union isn't on display. What is "seen" perhaps is more a projection of the viewer and their own assumptions, preconceived notions and interpretations of experiences in their lives.

^^^Hardly wreckless, simply my own opinion based on my own experience as I had indicated. You are entitled to see things as you wish.

However, as recently as two days ago...this experience was born out yet again when visiting the home of someone that I met here through Pof... I've always been able to perceive a lot from one's environment...and while I don't necessarily speak to it or address it, there inevitably comes a time when something or other that I've perceived is reconciled one way or the other through conversation---most times though....giving the nod to what I had picked up or surmised earlier.

on edit
It makes complete sense to me that one's own personal environment - a home, can show aspects of regard. It can in my opinion lay bare personality in ways that may be masked or hidden on meeting. Homes and personal spaces are just that personal.That said there are lots of cues and aspects of dynamics between the folks that live there, and perhaps it's easier for some to see this than others. I usually never reveal that or what I've sussed out...I just find it helpful and insightful to be around someone--to see how they are in their homes.

JMO
 wacowboy3
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 43
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:18:51 AM
I vote for loveseat recliners. I had a relationship that recliners were used as an excuse for the breakup. Like OP there was more at stake, but I will say seperate recliners are not conducive to cuddling.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 44
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:41:39 AM

Bull! Still NOTHING more than making something you've guessed about a "reality" IYHO! If anything this MIGHT be the case in some instances but I seriously doubt its all that valuable in the end.

^^^Dude, seriously doubt it all you want, my experience = true for me. Deal with it or not.

I've kept company with many different types of people whose homes have only sometimes reflected what I thought to be aspects of their personality----much more often I was completely wrong in my far.

^^^I can't explain your [/i ] experiences and/or limitations or lack of ability in something I am able to do quite well and consistently...but then again I am not you....Therefore I expect individuals will have differing results...not a difficult concept to grasp really.

This crazy stuff about thinking we know someone else by only a few superficial trappings is probably one reason people are so distant and disconnected theese days. Too many assumptions and guess work instead of actual knowledge gained over time with them.

^^^Personally, I don't find people distant and disconnected...your experiences don't take away from the validity that I find in my own observations...again....my experience= true for me. Move on.

jmo.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 45
Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/30/2009 11:03:26 AM
Give him more head and you will soon well be back on the couch.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 46
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:13:34 PM
I blame it on Chevrolet.. they changed the front seat from "bench" to "bucket" and the world hasn't been the same since. *heavy sigh*
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 48
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 2/13/2010 4:01:22 PM
This reminds me of a song by the band Cake. The singer is talking about how much he loves his Malibu where is girlfriend can scootch right over next to him while they are driving. " I need you to be next to me, not way over in the bucket seat!".


So, you're not alone. I can definately relate. Yup,I'm a snuggler. I've gone so far as to turn my living room practically in to a second bedroom so as to be condusive to better snuggling while watching TV. My futon is in permanent bed mode when my guy is visiting!
 moon75
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 56
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 2/13/2010 8:29:43 PM
Yeah I agree that the reliner wasn't "the" problem, but once your man sits in the recliner all the time (and it's really not big enough for 2 people) and everyone wants to be comfortable, it does create distance. I think the ideal is a sofa that the whole thing reclines like one person mentioned. Everyone wants their comfort during downtime! I have an ex-recliner b/f who loved to snuggle, but wouldn't stay on the couch for long due to the recliner! lol. Men and their chairs.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 59
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 2/14/2010 12:17:10 AM
Can't say I see the problem other than you want to snuggle and he doesn't. While it's nice to cuddle up sometimes, I'd rather have my own chair too, that doesn't mean a relationship is going to end, not unless I become resentful instead of talking about it and understanding.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 62
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 2/17/2010 1:30:27 PM
Everyone mentioning the loveseat recliner is spot on.

Has anyone every climbed on top of their lover while he/she is in their easy chair/recliner??? Let me tell you it's REAL EASY to make love in a recliner, you can put yourself in all kinds of laid-back positions. Get creative.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 64
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Recliners, lazy boys, easy chairs
Posted: 2/17/2010 2:00:11 PM

You need some furniture buying classes.
Those double recliners are the bomb.

Absolutely. OP, it's been many months since the initial post; if you're still putting it off, get your current chairs on craigslist and get yourself a reclining loveseat instead of wasting time debating all this.
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