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 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 2
Swingers..Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Swing-dancing? A blast.
Swing-votes? Bless their hearts for the results of the last election.
Sex on a swing, either on a playground or hanging from an "adulterated" ceiling? Farfckingout!
Swing sex as an alternative to a handshake? Interesting concept, but just not the path I have ever taken, or probably ever will.
 BBW_4_U
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 3
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:26:50 AM
Its something i have thought about thou havent an maybe if found right guy an club i prob would Oh no... Think i have more issues Lmao
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 4
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:34:01 AM
this subject has been addressed many many times in the forums ... so let me summarize te opinions of people on here ... not many will condemn you for swinging ..many think it will lead to the demise of a relationship ...a few think it can make a relationship better ... most on POF thinks it is not for them ...but most conclude that it is better than cheating or lying ... conclusion = if this is your cup of tea ..you would be better served by a site such as ...SLS AFF or swapper net ...people on here for he most part are looking for one on one relationships
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 5
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History
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:36:53 AM
My girlfriend and I consider ourselves swingers,and we have had some experience. Neither of us are jealous about seeing the other having sex with other people. A lot of people don't feel the same ,and some tend to get vocal and angry about things they themselves don't do or understand.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 7
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:46:00 AM
you make some good points deerdog1. My post wasn;t to see where I may be better served but to gauge the feelings of the POF members and see if members similar to me have encompassed the same attitudes.


having a direct connection to the swinger community( i do security work at a swinger bar )and it is a curiosity of mine ..therefore I have read all of the many threads about swinging ..there are many and have many post ..that is why i summarized them for you ...and I have found all the opinions of POFers to be valid ..bottom line is whatever works for you .. but you will find not many on pof believe that sharing is for them ... although they for the most part have been through much in life and not many will condemn you for doing it ...while saying that they could never do it...a large proportion on here believe that in most cases swinging is a ploy by the guy who cannot be satisfied with being faithful to one woman ...and i concur ( in most cases ) however there are some cases where swinging is equally or more so embraced by the woman ... in these cases swinging has a better chance of working
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 9
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:54:57 AM
The thing about swingers, in my opinion, is that most people are possessive in their relationships with others. Most swingers have learned to put that possessiveness aside for the sake of new sexual experiences. We are a society of morals, rules and values. We learn from childhood that when we grow up we find a good man/women, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. In reality most of us find that person, get married, have babies, make ourselves miserable, screw up our babies, get divorced, and grow old and bitter. Swingers often live a different life style. They have learned to set their own self-interests aside, temporarily, for the pleasure of their partners. Their relationships are usually based more on sex then love. Lust is often more powerful then love, and the swingers seem to have the perfect relationship. The problem is that the relationship is shallow, and based on a sexual lifestyle that virtually provides no chance of intimacy. Often one of the swingers will wake up some day and realize that his ole lady is sucking on some other guys wanker, and then the fun begins.
 BBW_4_U
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 10
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:55:00 AM
^^^ Psst what your now the spokes person for swingers an Pof people too??
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 13
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:08:20 AM
mustang you make many assumptions/generalizations in your post ...and the problem with assumptions /generalizations..is with people they dont work ...what is good for one persons relationship might destroy the next persons relationship ...the biggest myth I see in your post is ...even the swingers who end up breaking up I have never heard one condemn the other for the lifestyle ...bringing another person into the relationship is usually a decision accepted and the consequences are equally soldered by both people ...I will go farther to say That while I have seen swinger couples beak up ...most cases the breakup was eminent..swinging was just a last ditch effort to try to save the relationship ...that didnt work ...but I have seen it work
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 16
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History
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:32:35 AM
We've experimented with it in the last year and it seems that the people involved are just like everyone else, but perhaps a little more sexually open and adventurous. Some people golf, some people boat, some people swing - some do all three. We've had some great fun, fulfilled some fantasies, and made a couple of good friends along the way. We know some great people who have been doing this for over 10 years, and I think they'll continue indefinitely as it works very well for them.

It hasn't created any problems for us, but we're a very stable couple anyway. We've encountered very few couples who had problems because of swinging itself. It has improved our relationship, because we've communicated more and we've analyzed our expectations, assumptions, and experiences. Overall, it was a positive and educational experience, and satisfied those few remaining desires we wanted to experience at least once.

Mostly, though, we're now bored with the idea and have gotten as much out of it as we think we can. Many people aren't that attractive, and many aren't very skilled sexually, and many aren't friend material, so - with a few very memorable exceptions! - the results overall haven't been as good as we'd hoped (but far from bad). Even after our many years together, we still find each other far more thrilling and satisfying than anyone and anything else, so we're just going to focus on that now.
 Mustang065
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 17
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:39:20 AM

on the contrary Mustang, in my experience the intimacy has increased through the lifestyle. Perhaps your experiences have shown you something else..or is that experience you're talking of real, or read?


Sorry I thought you were looking for opinions, rather then validation...My bad.
No i don't have any experience with swinging, but I do have a lot of experience with human nature. And I know that it is not human nature to share the bond that develops between a man and woman with another man or woman. There is no chance for intimacy there no matter how much sugar you put on it. It is a selfish need that, both people engaged in this type of relationship, have developed to maintain a sexual lifestyle and avoid intimacy. Sex is powerful and necessary in a relationship, but it is not the basis for true intimacy. Sharing your partner in sexual acts with others is okay with me, if that is what you desire, but don't tell me that you are sharing intimate moments before, during and after. What you are sharing is another persons bodily fluids, which contain larges amounts of pheromones.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 18
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:43:47 AM
I don't think swinging would work for me, but if it works for others, I think that's fine. Unfortunately, most people narrow minded and can't conceive of others doing something different, so it's not surprising that you get a negative reaction.


So then, this begs the question... why are you looking for a new person... what happened with the last one if things were so intimate......?

Since the majority of people on pof are not into swingiung, yet they are here, looking for a new partner, your question is a red herring. Why don't you ask that question of those who aren't into swinging instead?
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 20
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 8:16:55 AM

if its a last attempt to keep the marriage stable, bringing another couple or individual in is a disaster.


nc gurl again not every time I know many swinger couples who had a very shaky marriage before they started swinging ...and now they are completely happy ...or say so ..and who are we to tell them they are wrong???
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 21
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 8:19:47 AM
OP: If you enjoy partaking in this lifestyle - more power to you, but you will come across the "holy than thou" people. Just ignore them, as it is best to be straight up.

I don't have any of these experiences because I am not a swinger/no interest, but I don't judge others and their choices.

 bgrumling
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 22
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:09:36 AM
LET ME FIRST START BY SAYIN THIS: PEOPLES LIFESTYLE CHOICE IS THERE OWN. WHAT CONSENTING ADULTS DO IS THERE OWN BUSINESS. AND NO ONE CAN JUDGE ANYONE FOR IT.
NOW ALSO LET ME SAY THIS I USED TO WANT THAT KIND OF LIFESTYLE. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GREAT. MY GF DOING OTHER WOMEN AND MEN. ME DOIN OTHER WOMEN. GET WHAT I MAY NOT GET AT HOME, YEAH I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
NOW NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE MY WOMAN TOO MUCH. TO ME ITS CHEATING PLAIN AND SIMPLE WEATHER YOU KNOW ABOUT IT OR NOT. WEATHER YOU AGREE TO IT OR NOT. WEAHTER YOU ARE IN THE SAME ROOM OR NOT. WHY BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMTHING MISSING IN MY REALTIONSHIPS UNTIL NOW. I MET A GIRL SUNSHINE BLONDY IS HER PROFILE NAME. AND FELL HOPELESSLY AND TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. AND ALL MY NEEDS ARE FULLFILLED. I WOULDNT ASK HER TO DO IT AND COULDNT DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE HER WAY TO MUCH. AND I KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT BOTH OF US.
IT USED TO BE NO BIG DEAL FOR ME TO LET MY EX'S IN THE HOUSE WHILE MY GIRL WASENT HOME. NOW I DONT. I TEXT HER AND LET HER KNOW THE EX IS HERE AND WILL STAND ON THE PORCH AND TALK TO THEM TILL MY GIRL GETS HOME.
TO ME SWINGING IS BECAUSE THERE IS SOMTHIN MISSING OR THERE IS INSECURITY IN SOMEONE AND THEY CRAVE THE ATTENTION AND THE PHYSICAL AND SOMETIMES THE EMOTIONAL BOND. WITH ME EVEN THOUGH I AM NT GREAT IN BED, EVEN THOUGH I AM SHORT AND FAT DUMPY AND NOT SO GOOD LOOKING. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A SMALL PEEPEE OR I THINK ALL THAT ( SHE TELLS ME NONE OF THAT IS TRUE). SHE LOVES ME AND SHE FULLFILLS EVERY NEED AND WANT AND DESIRE. I HAVE NO REASON TO WANT ANYONE ELSE. I AM TO THE POINT I DONT LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN EVEN. MY WOMAN HAS ME HEART MIND BODY AND SOUL.
AGAIN THOUGH WHAT CONSENTING ADULTS DO IS THERE OWN BUSINESS.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 23
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:13:58 AM
/\/\/\ Shhhhhhhh! People are sleeping. Geeeessshhhh.
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 24
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:21:29 AM
whiytwater, he can't seem to take off the capslocks on any of his posts.


As for the topic....If you and your partner are okay with it, go for it. I have no problem with swingers. I don't even care if the guy I get involved with sleeps with others. But I don't want to be the side piece of a married man who swings.
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 25
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:35:03 AM
I think it is gross and unsanitary. Plus why are most swingers pudgy and middle-aged or older? If it was hot 25 year swinging chicks I might have a different opinion.

...................................................... Kid A
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 27
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:42:21 AM
Some of the clubs require you to submit full body pics and get approval to be in the club
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 28
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:44:27 AM

I was shocked at the number of attractive people that do swing


And I was just going to guess that the pudgy, too-old swingers are probably the same folks who populate the nude beaches. Lol.
Hmmm, overload of attractive people at swingers' parties. Guess that explains why my invitation got lost in the mail.
 JChic515
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 30
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 3:45:47 PM
Personally, I think swingers get a bad rap. Everyone hears swinger, and automatically think big orgy. Not the case at all -quite respectful group of people. And I don't think anyone should be put down for the fact that they are honest with themselves and realize they weren't meant to be with just one sexual partner for the rest of his/her life. Many swingers I know are in loving relationships and just choose to have sex with others. I sure think it beats not being honest with yourself or your partner and cheating and lying!!
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 31
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 4:16:52 PM

... there are all kinds of swingers but one thing I have noticed ...on the average they do know how to take care of themselves


I also had the idea that these events could be stinky and unsanitary. Guess I was right!
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 36
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History
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:33:15 PM
I know some people who are into the swingers lifestyle and really like it and seem happy. I have no problem with it and consider it a personal choice, but not something I would be involved in, guess I just don't share well with others. Perhaps OP these women are concerned about how many sexual partners you've had with swinging, increased numbers means an increased risk of contracting a STI/STDs and may not want to take a chance with their health. I commend your honesty, but this might not be the right site for you or maybe state it on your profile, to attract like-minded females at the beginning.
 SalonHottie4Real
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 39
Swingers..
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:03:02 PM
Op , if thats what your into why isnt it listed on your profile? You just say open minded. Is that a code word>> please explain???????
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 42
Swingers..
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:22:09 AM

Obviously the 'swinging' lifestyle didn't work out for your last partner.... and now you're looking for another one?


And most people on POF are single because their last monogamous relationships didn't work out. So clearly this is the fault of monogamy. Any time a relationship goes sour, the only thing that could possibly have gone wrong has to do with the structure of it and not the people involved, right?

Please. Most relationships end, period, and it has nothing to do with the relationship structure people have chosen for themselves. I've had a couple seriously intimate relationships that I loved being in that ended eventually, because most of them do. There are many factors involved.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 43
Swingers..
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:53:58 AM
I also had the idea that these events could be stinky and unsanitary. Guess I was right!


well from my experience with working at a swingers club ...and mind you all my experience is with an off premises club ..I have seen nothing stinky and unsanitary...but i know there is a more hard core sect in the lifestyle ... I am very open minded and even I would not go to an on premises party ...for verification ...off premises parties dont allow people to have sex at the party ...they meet danceand socialize there and go to their own rooms or homes to do whatever they do


Perhaps OP these women are concerned about how many sexual partners you've had with swinging, increased numbers means an increased risk of contracting a STI/STDs


another clouded statement ... most swingers I know have far less number of sex partners than do most singles I know ...and most swingers couples I know only have sex with married couples who at least profess to do the same ....so as far as STDs are concerned it is a more controlled group than the singles bar scene ...still not as controlled as monogamy ....but a lot more controlled than a married faithful wife who just happens to have a cheating horn dog husband who will shag anything that has a split between her legs ...or a married ,faithful husband who just happens to have a cheating wife who will open her legs for any smooth talking jerk that wants some of it

the two groups mentioned above are the disease spreaders in our world more so than swingers or single dating people ...you just never know when you will cross paths with these people...just saying
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