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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why would someone not want to meet in person??      Home login  
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 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 1
Why would someone not want to meet in person??Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have been talking to this guy for awhile! He says he wants to meet but as of this date we have not. I don't think he is married or anything because we talk too much. What could possibly be the reason?? Is he a big dork? Is he hiding something? I am beginning to think yes. Bottom line is I guess he just doesn't want to meet and I need just to move one.
 bluesandrock
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 2
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:27:16 AM

Bottom line is I guess he just doesn't want to meet and I need just to move one.


There you go.

Do not worry why someone does not want to meet in person as only that person knows.
 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 3
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:28:04 AM
Sorry for the typo...I meant move on ;) Thanks for your reply.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 4
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Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:32:47 AM
There are some people who get validation behind their keyboards or
talking on the phone for days and days. I don't know why that is OP
but it just is.

When he said he wanted to meet, what was your reply?
Perhaps he was waiting for you to take initiative to set the time.....I don't know.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 5
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Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:33:40 AM
How long is awhile? I'd rarely meet anyone before emailing and perhaps IMing for 3 or 4 weeks. Few made it past my screens to a meeting, so perhaps he's just being selective.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 6
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:34:21 AM
People come up with all sorts of reasons why they don't want to meet.
Some are perfectly valid....people have different comfort zones, etc.
However, if you've been talking for a while and you keep saying you
are going to meet and you don't...there is usually a reason...and it's not
always as nefarious as being married. Sometimes it's simpler...like
needing to loose 25 lbs, needing to look younger by 10 years, needing
to find a job or...you get my drift.

 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 7
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Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:36:12 AM

Sometimes it's simpler...like
needing to loose 25 lbs, needing to look younger by 10 years

^^^Yup
Or needing to grow to the height their profile lists.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 8
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:37:08 AM

Is he hiding something?

This is likely IMO.
 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 9
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:38:50 AM
I do get it. We have been talking for many months and he lives out of state, in that amount of time I have mentioned many times that I want to meet. Always get the "yes I want to" but it never happens.
 Son_of_Dad
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 10
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:40:36 AM
This always reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine tries to meet Gene from the video rental store (whom she speaks with over the phone), and Gene turns out to be 15 years old with horrible acne. So probably he is 15 with horrible acne.

Once you meet in person, any illusion you've created of yourself online is destroyed. It's easier to be charming and witty online/over the phone than in person. (Plus you can't see horrible acne online or over the phone.) I suppose some guys just like the attention and the feeling that there is a woman who wants to meet them, but don't want to risk everything going downhill. Try to set something up with him; if he weasels out of it or cancels on you, I think your course is clear.
 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 11
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:49:22 AM
Yes I have, many times. He lives out of state and we have talked about meeting halfway etc. Nothing ever comes of it. I suppose I am just asking a question I already know the answer to. He doesn't want to meet for whatever reason.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 12
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:49:29 AM

I'd rarely meet anyone before emailing and perhaps IMing for 3 or 4 weeks.

Good luck with that. My experience has been that is an incredible waste of time. You don't know anyone until you actually meet them in person.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 13
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Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:58:34 AM

We have been talking for many months and he lives out of state,

Now see, this is something you should've put in your opening info.

Also, it would be a good idea to list how far away is "out of state"?
1 hour, 2? 3? 20? What?

I went out with someone from "out of state"......2hrs out of state......
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:32:08 AM
Well, I think you nailed it with your bottom line: Time to move on.

What could be behind the resistance? Deception of one kind or another. Either he *is* in another relationship, or else he doesn't at all look like he's said he does. I understand both situations are way too commong.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 15
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 1:37:29 PM

This always reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine tries to meet Gene from the video rental store (whom she speaks with over the phone), and Gene turns out to be 15 years old with horrible acne. So probably he is 15 with horrible acne.

Ha. Or he's poor... and married!

Okay, seriously though, I think money trouble is the most likely thing. But, as has been noted, it really doesn't matter why. What matters is, this isn't working for you. And he isn't even a good pen pal, since he repeatedly keeps you hanging.
 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 16
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 1:57:19 PM
Thanks for the feedback everyone, I really appreciate it!!
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 17
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:02:31 PM
If you really want to meet him and he's not doing anything to make that happen, you should just leave him alone. Tell me "when you're ready to meet let me know" and leave him alone. If he contacts you and it's not about a concrete plan to meet then he's wasting your time
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 18
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:02:53 PM

What could possibly be the reason?? Is he a big dork? Is he hiding something? I am beginning to think yes. Bottom line is I guess he just doesn't want to meet and I need just to move one.


fake pic. probably a little kid messing with you. you're right. bottom line he doesn't want to meet, and yes, move on.

Trust your instincts, Tombalian!
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 19
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:05:24 PM

He lives out of state and we have talked about meeting halfway etc. Nothing ever comes of it.


Tomballian, tomballian, tomballian. Out of state? Puh-leeeeze. I don't think his wife would appreciate both of you meeting each other.

 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 20
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:23:50 PM
If a man is REALLY interested, he will do whatever is necessary to meet you. If you 've been talking for months, there has been time to plan a meeting. My guy lives in Australia and I live in Florida and he's arriving here on Sept. 30th. The only reason it's taking so long is that he is planning on staying for a few months and he's saving for the visit. If he was in the U.S., we would have met a couple months ago. If he really is who he says he is and really is interested, he'd have figured out a way to meet. He may have financial problems that he hasn't shared with you though. In this financial climate, that is always a definite possibility.
 dahlia77
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 21
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:16:05 PM
this happened to me after 2 months...he used his cousin's picture then finally told me. I don't think he branched from that family tree by the looks of his real pic! lol
 museiklvr0626
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 22
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:24:56 PM
I don't know what the real deal is with him. I have to resign myself to the fact that I may never know. I think I am ok with it now, I know I tried. Now it is time for me to move on.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 23
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/28/2009 2:31:09 AM
LOL
A long time ago I struck up an online friendship with a pilot. We talked constantly online when he wasn't flying, he called me from Korea, China, all over the world, but especially Alaska.
We actually met once for drinks...but it was after talking for almost a year. In the meantime, I was dating occasionally, but nothing serious.
After we met, he insisted that we were going somewhere, that I was going to be with him, marry him, you name it.
Then without warning or reason, he quit calling, answering emails, ims, anything. I didn't hear from him for six months.
Turns out the idiot was also talking to some woman from Alaska. He moved her to Florida, married her, was in the process of adopting her two Eskimo children when he caught her screwing the dentist next door. Now he's stuck with a huge mortgage, and she's raping his wallet at every opportunity.
Then he calls me crying about how he screwed up, shoulda woulda coulda.
Sucks for him, but I am with my boyfriwnd, and completely happy now.
Moral of the story, you never know who that person is behind that keyboard until you not only meet them, but are AROUND them for a long time. Even then, people are sneaky and lie, so you better be careful who you put your trust into.
Drop any idea of meeting with this guy. Move on and find someone closer, someone who you can really get to know.
Beth
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 24
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/28/2009 5:26:08 AM
Talking for months?

Personally, unless there are extrenuating circumstances, if someone can't be bothered to move things forward towards a meet in 1-4 weeks, I don't take them seriously. I'm not interested in pen pals. I have facebook with real friends I know all over the world who I don't correspond enough with, lol.
 suzette09
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 25
Why would someone not want to meet in person??
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:46:57 AM
He's either hiding something, or he is insecure.
Guaranteed though- that the problem is not with you - do not take it personally hon & good luck !
Suz x
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