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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > will i ever be able to regain his trust?      Home login  
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 nakhia
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 2
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will i ever be able to regain his trust?Page 1 of 1    
I personally feel you had your chance and blew it. It is hard without knowing the extent of the knowledge shared and if it was embarrassing to him. My feelings if not acted upon will very easily turn into a just friends thing with a girl after some time. I think womens feelings tend to develop deeper over time.

You have stated your intentions, albeit in the form of a letter and not face to face, but nonetheless you have stated your feelings and intentions. If he is able to reciprocate these he will. For now I would settle for platonic and not dare to hope for more.
 Okietokie88
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 3
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will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:06:54 AM
Wow that's a dewzy of a question but here goes................ I think you did the right thing by writing the letter so kudos for that, and even more so that you followed through and texted him after to see if he had read it. I think you've done all you can in the sense of being apologetic.I believe since you've acknowledged the hurt you caused him you wouldn't be out of line to mindfully move past that when re initiating contact that may or may not lead to conversations that walk the path of the road shaded in trust, redemption, and bountiful bliss
 GMan85615
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 4
will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:11:11 AM
Wow...yeah.

If this was gonna be fixed, it was gonna be fixed right away. He may still be physically attracted to you, but the anger is clearly still there, and has probably settled into a habit of thought by now.

Sorry.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 8
will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:33:57 AM
Why are you waiting for him to approach you and fix things? If you hurt his feelings, why don't you put in effort to fix things? Have you apologized?
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 14
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will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:13:15 AM
Sounds like you did a great job apologizing and making amends.

Next, you might consider drafting him a note letting him know exactly how you feel and that you'd like to attempt a reconciliation.

You can't place your cards out on the table any better than that. Then if he's interested, he'll say so. If not ... well, at least you've not left anything unsaid. That's important.
 h0ldfast
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 16
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will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:23:17 AM
You made a faux pas, and not really a particularly major one. I think he overreacted, but be that as it may, you have apologized. Now, it's his turn to make some kind of gesture. He could offer a reconciliation or he could politely close the door. Given that he has done neither, I have to agree with those who say that he is an ungracious, petulant drama queen. I'm sorry to hear that you became emotionally attached to him, because it's over with this guy. Even if, with enormous effort and sacrifice, you could win him back, he would probably pull the same kind stunt again at the earliest opportunity. Move on.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 17
will i ever be able to regain his trust?
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:31:26 AM
Well, before making serious comment, let's go over the obvious, horse-gone-time-to-close-door commentary.

1. Workplace romance = bad idea. Same seating area = worse idea.
2. Hookups with co-workers = bad idea.
3. Emotional revelations over booze = bad idea.
4. Taking badly thought out reactions that occur over booze seriously = worse idea.

You're not rebuilding a "friendship" with someone you've slept with. Yes, there are exceptions, but basically post-hookup "friendships" happen on TV. Moreover, your emotional feelings towards him are incompatible with friendship.

Be honest, you want him as a boyfriend and you screwed it up. That much was obvious from 14 months of "building attraction".

He's also behaving like a 14 year old boy. Actually, he's behaving like a 14 year old girl, and not a particularly mature one at that, and you can expect more of the same.

Get your workstation transferred and see if you still want him in two weeks.

EDIT: On second thought, just re-read what Abelian wrote. Say, every hour, on the hour, while you are at work.
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