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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is being faithful a thing of the past?      Home login  
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 LangloisJ
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 3
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Is being faithful a thing of the past? Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
yes being faithful is a thing of the past as i have been cheated on by many ex's
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 4
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:02:29 AM
(Why is this marked for deletion? Do people mark *everything* that pertains to personal feelings as deletion worthy lately? Jeez, learn some fricken empathy)

If my own personal track record is anything to go by (this is meant purely as an example, not for pity) then yes, faithfulness seems to be a thing of the past... if it were ever common for people to be faithful in the first place. I have been cheated on in all but one of my relationships.

There are many, many ways to look at this, but at the end of the day, I find that anyone who makes excuses for their infidelity is doing nothing more than making excuses for themselves. The excuse of "people make mistakes" is not one I ascribe to.

Why? Because we are all individuals with the freedom to think for ourselves, and our actions are our own choices. Many people, unfortunately, choose to do what benefits themselves and themselves only, instead of taking into consideration how their actions will affect others.

When you *choose* to lie to your partner and *choose* to cheat on them, you are making a deliberate and concious decision. It is self-serving, inconsiderate, and selfish. Nothing can justify that over communication, talking with your partner, or simply ending the relationship if you don't think it's working.

<div class="quote">I almost feel like I'm old fashioned to hope that one day I can be with someone who will respect me and want to only be with me. It's almost as if I'M being too selfish to ask for that. What's going on with this world?
You're not old-fashioned, just idealistic. This is a good thing. Never lose that or sell yourself short, because the world often has a nasty way of trying to trample on your beliefs.
 LoriIsLoLo
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 5
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:03:19 AM
Sad to say but I don't think people can remain faithful long term...I think stress and boredom get in the way ...people stop appreciating each other and start taking the stress out from the day on their partner. Although I've cheated in the past I haven't cheated in my last 2 relationships...I've just simply ended them when things stopped being good....after trying to work things out, of course. I don't believe religion has anything to do with it.
 IsabelK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 7
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:09:07 AM
I think it has to do with how we're all "wired."

For example, I've never cheated on anyone I was seeing. Sure, I can factor in "nurture" items such as upbringing, beliefs, etc., but a great deal of it comes from "nature." I'm an introvert, can only give "romantic" attention to one person at a time, etc. I'm not "better" than the next person; it's just the way I am. I'm not making any special effort to be like this.
 GeekedNow
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 8
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:13:56 AM
TO OP:

I honestly dont think so, plus even if they found people didnt do it as much in the past it doesnt mean they didnt think about it as much.

I think the larger issue is how we as a society lie to ourselves into thinking that being with one person forever in reality and/or in fantasy is actually normal, becuase its not, its almost a deviant.
 GeekedNow
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 9
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:15:17 AM
I wanted to add.

Faithful is more about honesty than it is about what you do.
 GeekedNow
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 14
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:56:45 AM


Your point is well taken but being faithful and being with
one person forever are not the same thing.
You can have ten girlfriends over your lifetime without
being unfaithful to a single one.


David Lewis:
I agree which is the point I was trying to make. Its about honesty more than anything else in my view.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 17
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 1:26:16 PM
Humans are not meant to be monogamous--yes, we are capable of sticking to one partner and many people do, but biologically speaking, it is difficult.

Adultery and infidelity are not problems of the modern world; as many have said, cheating on one's partner has always been going on. In many cultures, it was accepted for men to cheat and in some parts of the world, women still get stoned for adultery while their male partners go unscathed.


If a person isn't being faithful to the one who created them...how can we expect them to be faithful to the one their Creator gave them as a mate.


This is an extremely limited and narrow point of view: I assume you are a Christian, but other religions, and even atheists, do not condone cheating. Of course, within nonreligious (and some religious) scenarios, partners agree to polyamorous relationships, but that is different from strictly monogamous partnerships.

You might have a clear belief in who created you, but I have just as a clear a belief that who created you didn't create me. You can say that I am not "faithful" to the creator, but I say that I am faithful to the Creatrix.

Marriages/monogamy grew out of social norms--not handed down from a god.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 19
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 1:37:19 PM
To the right person for me, I'll commit. I like a lot of different women in a lot of different ways, but there's not ONE that stands out, grabs me by the heart and balls and says "this is it. I'M all you want." Guess she's got to be ridiculously sexy, have a similarly troubled past, and be into all sorts of weird and kinky stuff, while being warm and loving. That would keep me interested. Would I keep HER interested? Well (lol) I've got a few kinky ideas of my own...
 Birdman660
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 20
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 2:27:20 PM
I have never in my life cheated on anyone I have actually been in a relationship with.
That hasn't always been reciprocated, by it's the standard I hold myself to.

Everyone comes to that fork in the road, where maybe things aren't so great, and you either change it by working on your relationship, end it because it simply isn't working anymore, or try to "have your cake and eat it too" by getting a little spice on the side and cheating.

It's a choice everyone faces individually. And you don't really know what choice that other person will make, until they are faced with it. And it might not be the same choice you or I would make.

Life holds no guarantees. You pay your dues and you take your chances, win or lose.

And in the "old days" there was still cheating (only he was "out with the boys again") you just didn't talk about such things...

Humankind hasn't really changed all that much.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 21
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 4:47:01 PM

There has always been and always will be infidelity. Lack of religion or changes in societal norms has nothing to do with it.

What he said.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 22
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:43:11 PM
I value character. Cheating is a lack of character; ergo, I don't cheat. My mind has had it's moments of wandering, but if I am in a mutually committed relationship That's who I am with.

Is it always easy? yes and no. I don't think I could cheat, even if I wanted to. But there were times when I wish I could have.

Only by engaging in a long term dating / courting relationship will you be able to determine the character of the person you are wanting to be with.

TK
{cheating is for losers}
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 23
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 9:52:58 PM
I had hoped moving into a different age bracket would help with this problem but it hasn't yet. I've had very few GFs that didn't cheat at one time or another. When I was younger at least a few gave the old "I need some space, time etc..." then wanted to come back. I guess in their minds that was a justifiable and not really cheating. Then of coarse there was the one's that said they wanted to find out if they were really in love... That was younger years and now more complicated.
Bottom line in my experience is that most will cheat given the right opportunity. That's one of the biggest reasons I have never been married. I learned quick when I was younger how people could be but never gave up hope of finding that someone different.
Being faithful isn't a thing of the past it's just rare. I imagine with women finding more and more independence with time, " cougars and such," it's getting worse. Now it's just not men that are so called dogs. Besides who were the men cheating with to begin with?
I'm not downing women just giving my perspective from a mans point of view. There are both bad and good on both sides.
Lack of religion doesn't have anything to do with it...
 channel68
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 24
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:08:39 PM
I hope it is not the past....
I am and never will be a cheater but sadly I have met many men online that have been cheated on and they are very leary in trusting another woman....
Until you meet their friends and family and really get to know someone will you ever know...
Good luck hon....
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 25
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:01:54 AM
Reading this I'm lmao!!
just ask anyone,
No they've never cheated but yes they've been cheated on.
This is freakin hilarious sh1t.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 26
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/1/2009 2:13:25 AM
People put more energy worrying about cheating, than they do on building a better relaionship. Happy partners do NOT cheat!
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 28
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:25:19 PM
ya in america it's actually cool to cheat but in another country they're like hmm.. not a good idea. just gotta wait until everyone else catches on the cheat mobile, give it time.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 29
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/1/2009 10:59:26 PM
OP, I'm leaving you for another thread.
 ~$Brittney$~
Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 31
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/2/2009 2:31:07 AM
I know it's possible!

Even though I myself have been cheated on..I know many friends and family that do not cheat on their spouses..I myself have NEVER cheated!..Because I believe that if your really that unhappy and you feel you've done all you can in the relationship then end it! My question is this why is it harder to leave someone..then it is to cheat on them?
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 32
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:18:17 AM

These other jerks aren't worth the STD's that will hopefully fester and help you learn a lesson.


HOPEFULLY FESTER?
There you have it folks, the Christian loving thought of the day!!!!
"I am so wonderful and anyone who has sex should DIE A MISERABLE , PAINFUL AND LONELY DEATH!"
That last statement I just made up....no one said that, just implied it.

A plague upon everyone who lives in a way I don't want them to!
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 33
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:26:06 AM

If you're not happy try to fix the relationship, or simply end it and move on without hurting your partner.


Oh sure. That does not hurt AT ALL!!!!!

Why do people think that when someones leaves because they want sex with someone else, it is noble and painless?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 35
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:58:55 AM
Some says the reasin
 HotCocoa87
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 37
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:03:41 AM
Among certain people cheating is not frowned upon. It's actually quite accepted. That's when a man does it of course. When a woman cheats amongst these people it's like she's committed the greatest sin.


There is no such thing as "faithful" in today's society. Practically everyone cheats in one way or the other.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 39
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:38:52 PM
I hope that someday, heaing will be a thing of the past. Until then, I can dream about a perfect world.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 40
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Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:30:23 PM
Not for me. I've always been a faithful lover....but that's just who I am.
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