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 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 1
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Eden [adult story]Page 1 of 1    
I've been hesitant to do so up until now, but since this forum appears to allow stories of an adult nature, I've decided to go ahead and post one.

This particular story is a fairly personal piece, written a number of years ago. The history isn't too important, I just hope you people enjoy it.

Just for clarification, the italiced parts are from the perspective of the woman. The non-italiced parts are from the perspective of the man.

Enjoy.

-------------------

Eden
by Michael O'Connor, 2009

Go sit down and put your makeup on. Do it like you would if I were not here. Let me watch. I want to see the ritual. I want to see your face. You're an artist. You work so hard, I know. Show me how you transform yourself from woman to goddess and I will worship at your altar, tonight. I've never seen you dance, but I know I'll like you to do it with me. I will spin you, sway you, let you do what you do. Your grace the perfect companion to mine. I will make you laugh until you have to catch your breath. Your laughter is my music. It will be my treasure, my gold and I will be rich.

Keep whatever outward expression you wish. I like your mask, knowing that only I have explored your hidden depths. Stay distant, stay aloof. I will make your cool facade crack when I get you home. I will strip you of everything, shake you to the core, leave you naked and spent. I could do it right now. I could do it anywhere. I could slide my hand up your skirt under the table, while you make small talk with our host. Tell him you had too much wine, dear, and I'll escort you outside for some air. I'll have you breathless in the shadows. I'll take you for a walk, pin you against a tree, holding you up when your legs can't support you.

Your knowing green eyes catch me staring. You smile pleasantly, as though you're an open book, but your elven features hide delicious secrets. No one notices how your smile twitches to one side, almost cruel with something clever inside your head, something dangerous. Sadistic. Thank Hell for that. I was so bored before you came along.

I like the way you speak. I love watching you gesture and embellish. The very soul of discretion, but you say such shocking things when I'm the only one to hear. You're bold enough, and honest enough, and dirty enough, and so curious. You have no shame, and don't allow me mine. I wanted a lover who talked like you. I always wanted a man who kissed with an accent. I knew I'd fall for something so simple. In the end it's your voice that pushes me over the edge. I know it will always be your voice.


I love your clothes. How is your corset? Is it too tight? Shall I make it tighter, anyway? I was worried about it. Do you have on those white stockings? The ones I saw embracing your thighs when you bent over? I would like to feel them against my cheeks. How do your boots fit? You have such sexy taste, evidenced by the way they show off your elegant walk. If I tell you they make you look like a whore, will you keep them on for me? I'll dress you up in black lace, a sheet over your naked body. I'll kiss you through it. Feel your warmth through it. I will roll the lace down slowly, kissing what I uncover. I'll linger over your beautiful face...

...Yes, kiss each eyelash, each freckle. Steal my breath. My lips have never been kissed with the hunger you feel for me. I've seen your need, but I've only imagined how you would express it.

Your breasts need wet kisses. They need sharp bites. They need me. I'll hover between them and your throat, biting, tasting. Move down to your ribs. You're made ticklish by the scrape of my teeth? I hope so. I'll follow the impressions of your ribs with my tongue, while I squeeze and constrict your flesh with my hands, you've never been held so tightly. Your belly is soft, the skin cool to the touch. I lick your navel, your nerves making the muscles jump. My hands position your legs. My face nuzzles into your sex, lightly brushing my lips against your center.

You flick your tongue like a serpent, introducing new sensations. Skill born from instinct, and a desire to lay me bare, begging for your merciful touch. We are animals, we are angels, we are uniquely human, sensual as only we can be. Explore my folds, my pearl, the shy sea-creature of my femininity. Discover me, study me. I could tell you, but you are so good at finding your own way, with only my moans to guide you. If I know you, and I do, you're going to be down there a long time.

I'll slide my finger around on the surface, penetrating only slightly. If you push back even a little, you'll get them all inside you. I'll be kissing you, learning what to do and what to dare. I won't let you come, darling. As much as you want it, I can't let you finish so soon. As good as it is, it's going to get better. I have to make you wait. It will be like meeting me for the first time all over again when we come face to face. After that, you'll wonder if you ever knew me at all. I'll look into your eyes and it might even make me cry. I'll kiss you. Yes, you'll taste yourself on my lips.

Our bodies will find their own way. They'll figure out everything on their own. I know what to do, Beloved... just concentrate on how it feels. Be here with me, nowhere else. I'll help you enter me and I'll open like a flower to the sun. We'll move together like we were made to. Slowly, quickly, we'll roll over and over. I'll end up on top of you. Release me and watch. Get lost in my eyes. You'll sweat and breathe hard, and I'll sway with fever...

...But I've got you. You won't be overcome. I'll hold you up; I'll support your every move. I'm inside you, and my hands are around you. I want you. I want you very badly. You introduce clever moves. You rock your hips in a way you've never thought of before. You use muscles you've never bothered with before. You're no virgin, you have things to show me, you have things to teach me. I rise into you, sit up straight with you on my lap. Your legs find their way around my waist. I put my right hand on the back of your neck. I squeeze your waist with my left arm. I let my fangs sink into your throat. I feel your pulse under my thumb.

Gently, you lower me onto my back. I spread my legs for you, like a dream. You never leave my body; you stay inside, stay with me as you bring us around, as you trap me under you. I'm tired and it's your turn. You take over, driving in and sliding out. You don't do it with more friction than I do, but it feels more intense when you are in control.

I'm getting good at this, precious girl. Before long, this is something I will know how to do extremely well. My whole life is passing through you. I swell inside you. You feel the change, feel the pulse of my entire supply of blood surging through the vessels you grip tight inside of you. The strain on your muscles is painful, because you've been alone a long time. You are ready though. You have a few tricks for me. You bite back. Your teeth and claws are deadly weapons. You've been growing your nails out for this. They claw into me and sting. Your trap springs.

My spine snaps, vibrating like a bowstring after an expert shot. You bend me and I tangle you in my limbs. Pardon the pun, but I have a very good grasp of the situation. My lips and tongue find your carotid artery and...

...You bite down hard and I'm yours. It hurts. It distracts me, keeps me from concentrating on my**** I'm capable of taking the pain for a while, but it excites me. I reach under your leg and bring it around in front of me. I use your leg to overthrow you, turning you on your side. Your teeth let go, and now I'm not stopping. I'm going to take you from behind, safe from your claws. Now you're free to claw the sheets. Now you're free to bite your own lip. The sheets are spotted with blood. The taste of pennies ignites your thirst, you want more. Linger on how it feels to want for a while, ****.

Your hands caress my ass. You spread my thighs from behind and roll your hips against me. You put your hand between my shoulder blades and firmly push me down. I press my breasts into the silky sheets. I arch my back, offering myself to you. Grabbing the edge of the bed in both hands...

...Your fingers flex to tear flesh, but I'm safe behind you. You can't scratch me. Now I can slide my hand beneath you and touch your sensitive button. I'll be gentle. I'll move in circles. Slow circles, to match my slow strokes into you. If I can bear to get my****out of you it will be to put my tongue back in its place. It will be to press my face against you and push my tongue inside. I'll move it in and out, listening to your soft noises. Will you whimper for me? It's only a small step from ****ing you with my tongue to considering other things I can do. Things we've only thought of, hinted at. Maybe teasing your ass with a finger, caressing you, coaxing you. I'll put a little pressure on and hope it opens up. If it doesn't, I won't insist. If it does I won't hesitate. My pinky is slender and straight. It doesn't bend, you know, so it's good for this.

If I push back on your hand you'll assume I want more. You'll give me more. You'll get back on top of me; pressing insistently against me. Please go slowly. You'll have to. I'll open up to you...

...panting your surrender. You'll succumb to my will. And that should be almost too much for me. When do you want to come, so I can come, too? I'll let you decide, but I can't hold out much longer. It's lady's first, and I'm a gentleman.

The wave hits with a shuddering gasp, our muscles taut, then we collapse coiling together. Your skin has polished my skin. We shine. We glow. Turning, we kiss. A warm embrace, slippery limbs entwined. Forehead to forehead, we lay smiling. If we lay like that long enough, maybe we can truly merge. Truly become one. Flow inside of each other. Until then, YOU can at least be inside ME.
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 2
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Eden [adult story]
Posted: 8/1/2009 8:52:04 PM
50 view and not a single critique?

Aww. =(
 RAIDERGIRL123
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 3
Eden [adult story]
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:21:08 AM
THAT WAS HOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! WISH I WAS HER !!!!!!!!!!!LOVE READING MEN WRITING EROTICA! :up :
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 4
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Eden [adult story]
Posted: 8/9/2009 12:09:08 PM
To those who offered praise of my story: Thank you, it's very much appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Sorry, but you asked.

Indeed I did, and I'm grateful that you were more than willing to be honest about it. Of everything I've written, this is probably my favourite piece, but there always ways in which it could be approved, so thanks for giving a frank critique.

Regarding the Song of Solomon, it is something I am well familiar with, though it didn't directly inspire this.

cifuareal1: Thanks for your thoughts . It was great to read such a detailed insight into my stuff. Feel free to PM me if you want to read more of them, as you stated, or simply to discuss these.

I have noticed that when men describe women's clothing they often use stockings and corsets. This seems to be a timeless fantasy for men. Modern women are more likely to be wearing a cami and bikini cut panties or thong, but I find it interesting that men see us wearing corsets.

If I may be so bold as to point out, this story was firmly grounded in reality and far from a "timeless fantasy." The lady to whom this was originally written for was heavy into these styles of clothing, and it was very much written with her preferences and thoughts in mind. Of course, everyone enjoys different forms of sensuality and how to express it.
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