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 dine68
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 1
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2 strikes and you're out?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've been talking to this guy on-line for a couple of weeks when he asked to meet in person two weeks ago. I agreed. The night before our meet he cancelled saying that he had to do something for his aunt. We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick. We have re-scheduled a third time for this week. I am a little apprehensive, as I think he might flake out again. I want to emphasize that I did not push to meet him in person. I was content talking to him via email and phone for the moment.

So, my question is this: What do you think of this behavior and should I give this guy a third chance and meet him in person?

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Thanks!
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 2
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:51:30 PM

The night before our meet he cancelled saying that he had to do something for his aunt. We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick. We have re-scheduled a third time for this week. I am a little apprehensive, as I think he might flake out again. I want to emphasize that I did not push to meet him in person.



Stand him up..... tell him you had to do something for your aunt.
 danishsweetbread
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 3
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:14:22 PM
I'd say try one more time to meet this time at a close by coffee place.
 Lovinlifeat44
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 4
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:56:03 PM
He's feeling apprehensive because you're absolutely beautiful.

He's afraid he won't "measure up."

Give him a second chance (or third). If he doesn't show up this time, dump him. You can do so much better!
 Kixxie
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 5
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 9:28:23 PM
I'm not sure if this is going to post, as my last few posts either haven't shown up or have been deleted, but just in case.....

OP, IMO, I would give it one last shot. Real life happens and sometimes it's nothing you can work around. However, 3 times in a row would be definite deal breaker for me.

Being sick, understandable.
Having to do something for his Aunt, that could depend. Finding out at the last minute that you had to pick her up at the airport because whoever WAS going to do it, no longer can and she needs a ride.......things like that are more than acceptable reasons. Needing to mow her lawn or something to that effect......he could have scheduled around, especially since he'd already made plans with you for a date.

Since I don't know the guy or the situation, I really can't say. But, I believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt, until it turns into a pattern.

Just my 2 cents. It's worth what you paid for it.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 6
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:11:13 AM
If I make plans to meet someone and he stands me up/changes them he gets one chance and it had best be for a very good reason!
If he totally stands me up he gets NO chances to make another date.

2 strikes is plenty...but please if you do give him the 3rd chance and he screws up please don't give him a 4th. Hunny you are better than that.
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 7
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:29:04 AM

So, my question is this: What do you think of this behavior and should I give this guy a third chance and meet him in person?


OP, he has difficulty keeping his engagements because his wife is making him run a lot of errands. Or maybe he's a drunk and he was just hung over?
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 8
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:54:43 AM
Are you interested in the man? Really interested? Or is he just someone you wouldn't 'mind' meeting? If you really aren't all that interested in him, I'd say pass. If you feel a connection with him through the emails and phone calls, then give him one more chance. It's three strikes and you're out. Tell him also. If he fails to follow through this time, he can stick a fork in it... you're done.
 Keiper7
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 9
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:43:29 AM
If you think you might like him, give him one more chance. It wont cost you anything, just keep your expectations down, you might be pleasantly suprised.

Id make it convienent for you however, make him jump through a few hoops for putting you out two times. If he is sincere, he will understand this and go a bit more out of his way.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 10
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:55:25 AM
Third strike and he's out.

I guess it depends on how much I like the guy. If he's playing games, I wouldn't be able to give him too many chances.

If he cancels the third time around, you should definitely let it go.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 11
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 2:18:31 PM
No. You should have canned him after the first strike.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 12
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:58:13 PM
drop him if he decide to flake out on one more time.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 13
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:36:50 PM
Proceed with caution. If he comes up with excuse #3, then he needs to be toast. It's obvious, that he isn't "into you", if he's got to come up with #3. If one is truly interested, THEY MAKE IT HAPPEN!
 Tigger911
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 14
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:26:31 PM
Ya. You defenitly have to stick to some rules regarding missed dates, etc. Never ask someone out more than 3 times, never allow someone to cancel-out on a 3rd date and never allow someone to cross you the wrong way a 3rd time. If this of this occurs, you must cut off all interaction with the person and move on. This is only for your own good and healthy state of mind.
 1SpaceCase
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 15
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:57:38 PM
Find out where he is "really" from; don't just go by what his profile says. Then ask him to meet you at a coffee shop in the town he is from. Watch for the red flag, if he starts to mumble and fumble with his response; it may be that he has a significant other and he is just trolling.
 T-Bird2
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 16
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:24:48 PM
Wow!

He really was trying hard to meet you!

I am sorry - if a man does not try hard to be with you at the beginning - he never will.
 KINGFUGLY
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 17
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:24:35 PM
i'd say in your case you should keep giving him chances! why not?
~k/f
 danishsweetbread
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 18
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:13:23 PM
so what happened girly? (to the OP)
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 19
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:56:38 PM

I've been talking to this guy on-line for a couple of weeks when he asked to meet in person two weeks ago. I agreed. The night before our meet he cancelled saying that he had to do something for his aunt. We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick. We have re-scheduled a third time for this week. I am a little apprehensive, as I think he might flake out again. I want to emphasize that I did not push to meet him in person. I was content talking to him via email and phone for the moment.

So, my question is this: What do you think of this behavior and should I give this guy a third chance and meet him in person?


i dunno but sounds to me, dine 68, like your apprehension is quite warranted. i mean cancelling and re-scheduling once is one thing, but do it twice? mmmmm, sounds bad to me. there are a lot of flakes on these on line personals sites, so, he may just be one more. i will be interested to learn if he shows for date # 3 or not. please keep us posted!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 20
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/5/2009 11:03:09 PM

But you never know. Like I said, things happen.

If a person is in a car wreck and was life-flighted to the hospital, that's an acceptable excuse. If it's very much less serious than that, 1 strike is it.
 T in the EC
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 21
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:01:18 PM
Sorry, one strike and youre out. Life is too short to waste it on flakes.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 22
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:23:23 PM
For me, it depends on how interested I am, how much I know about the person from email and phone calls, etc., and how they've handled the cancellation and rescheduling. If they cancel, rescheduling efforts are up to them.

If I'm not that interested, the first strike may be the last. If I'm very interested, they may get as many as 3 chances, but almost never more than that unless it's clearly a valid and unusual situation that causes the cancellation. If I have other good prospects, I may be less inclined to reschedule, and it would have to be fairly convenient for me. I'm flexible, not desperate!
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 23
2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:10:26 AM
Yep, move on. Two missed dates says a lot about priorities, and leaves questions to be answered. The only time I ever make exceptions are for single parents, things can change in a minute for them so that I understand.
 dine68
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 24
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/7/2009 8:07:39 PM
Thanks everyone for your opinions, replies and thoughts on my topic. Well, I decided to give him a third chance and we had a date tonight. Oh my gawd - worse date yet and I've been dating frequently within the last two months. The bottom line - this guy is cheap. Now, first let me explain something - when a guy asks a girl on a FIRST date - in my humble opinion, he should pay for it. I'm old fashioned, my parent's have been married for 51 years and this is what I am used to. Once you've dated for awhile - then I can understand going dutch or even the woman paying for it all. Okay, so example number one: He doesn't tip the bartender when we're having drinks. 1st Red flag. Then, when we sit down and look at the menu - I'm looking at the entrees. So, I ask him, what are you having? He orders something off of the appetizers menu. Okay. So, I feel obligated to order something from it too. Red flag number 2. But, the kicker is this - when he's paying for the meal - he asks if I could help him pay for it - maybe pitch in for the tip. I look him straight in the eye and say no. I wait a beat of like two seconds and then I reach my hand across the table, tell him it was nice meeting him and walk out. I didn't feel like sticking around for anything else. Can you believe him? I mean, if he couldn't afford the place that we went to, he shouldn't have choosen it. But, come on - you ask your date for money? Cheap. Anyway, that was my experience. If he's smart he won't contact me again.
 dine68
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 25
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2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:21:51 PM
What are you saying Rock man? You don't think a man should pay on the first date?
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