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 AUTHOR
 Mozard
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 6
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Dumb Blonde Jokes..Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Some friends and I were out driving around in one my buddy's cars when we were kids. We got kinda lost and stopped at this country gas station to ask directions. The guy driving stuttered really bad so he ask ask ask askt asked us to g g g g g g et the d d dir dir directions p p p pulease. So as we were debating who would go inside to ask where we were this huge blonde guy probably 6'6" 300 pounds of muscle and a really mean look on his face comes out to see what we are doing. He leans into the car window and looks at the guy driving (the one who stutters) and says "c c c c c c an I I I I h h h h help yy yy y you bb b boys"? .. we all sat quietly looking at Billy to see what he would say. ...


ok not a true blonde joke but I like it.

Know why there are so many blonde jokes?? .. 'cause brunettes and redheads are home alone with time to make them up.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?? .. just one to flash some stupid dude walking by and get him to do it for a fake phone number.

What do you call a redhead and 4 blondes standing on a corner?? Regular price , 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks. .... yea its an old reference but I still like it.

A blonde gets onto a jet liner and even though she has a coach ticket she sits in first class. The man who actually payed for the first class seat points to his ticket and says "sweety you're in my seat"
she replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The man grabs a flight attendant and relays his problem to her.
The flight attendant asks the woman to move back to her coach seat. Her reply is "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The flight attendant goes and gets the co-pilot, she relays the information to the c0-pilot on the way. When they get to the blonde woman the co-pilot asks her one more time to return to her coach seat. The Blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The co-pilot bends down and whispers somethig into her ear.. the blonde immediately blushes a very deep shade of red and jumps up and almost runs back to her coach seat.
The flight attendant and the man are both very impressed with this and ask how he did it.."what did you say to her"??
"Simple" he replied " I told her first class was going to New Jersey.



Blonde, brunette, and redhead .. this one is bad I suggest if you're squeemish don't continue reading... blonde brunette and redhead sitting at a bar argueing about who has the biggest pudder.. the redhead says "well I can get my whole hand up in there without any pain"
The brunetter says "my b/f is huge and has huge hands and he can get his hand all the way inside of me without hurting me."
The blonde giggles and slides down the barstool.....

Ok i'm stopping now .../wave
 mike koerber
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 7
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:14:39 PM
what do you call a blond who dies her hair
?
superficial intelligence

whats the diff between a blond and a blowling ball?
you can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

dolly parton and princess di r standing at the gates of heaven...
st peter regretfully informs them that their all full up and only have room
for one more. whitch ever one of you can prove to me your worthyness gets in.
so dolly steps up to the podium and flashes her tatas at st peter.
very nice he replies im pretty sure we could make room for you....
princess di steps forward ... drops her drawrs and proceeds to take out a douce
and do her buisness right in front of the two of them.
st peter then allows the princess to pass through the pearly gates.
why you ask?
cause even in heaven a royal flush beats two pair.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 8
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:46:08 AM
To prepare for his big date, a young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade".

He was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.

The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.

During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.

The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that’s how you guys load those things!"
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 9
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:55:32 AM
--How does a blonde's brain cell die?

Alone!

--What do call a blond with two brain cells?

Pregnant!

---What do you call a bunch of blonds standing in a line?

An airline!

---OK to be fair

---What do brunettes miss about the best partys?

The invitation!
 Rofluwill
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 12
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:01:31 AM
Whats the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley Anwer:- Ashopping trolley has a mind of its own
 tsquare4u
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 14
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 9/8/2009 5:54:23 PM
Why do blondes like sunroofs????




















More leg room!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 17
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:45:54 PM
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other,
"Boy, business stinks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to
lose my ass."
Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately,
he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I can relate; if I don't sell more ass
this month, I'm going to lose my
car."
 USCG10
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 18
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:21:36 PM
o hahah those were sum of the fking dumbest jokes i have ever heard. are u serious u guys are 50 and 60 telling fking blond jokes seriously get al ife
 USCG10
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 19
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:22:02 PM
fkign dumb jokes
 Alisense
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 20
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:41:46 AM
How do you change a blondes mind?? Blow in her ear.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 21
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:12:13 AM

o hahah those were sum of the fking dumbest jokes i have ever heard. are u serious u guys are 50 and 60 telling fking blond jokes seriously get al ife


And you're 19 years old, spending your free time on the internet complaining about the sense of humor of people 2-3x your age, under the impression that anybody actually gives a crap what you think. /facepalm

Anywho....

When the blonde went to bed, what did her left leg say to her right leg? Nothing, they never met.

What's the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up in the morning? She goes home.

A blonde woman was walking down the street, when she passed an empty dirt lot. On her way past, she noticed another blonde, in a rowing for all she was worth in a canoe in the middle of the field. Outraged, she stopped, and shouted, "HEY, YOU!! It's women like you that give the rest of us blondes a bad name!!! If I had a boat, I'd come out there and kick your ass!"
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 22
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:11:51 AM
Did you hear about the blonde engineer’s new project?
She’s putting ejector seats in helicopters.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 23
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:08:52 AM
A Blonde came home one day from work and found her boyfriend in bed with another woman. She was so devastated that she grabbed the gun out of the dresser drawer and put it up to her head threatening to commit suicide.

The boyfriend in shock screams, "No honey don't do it, I am so sorry!" Then the blonde says, "Shut up! You're next!"
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 24
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/11/2009 5:55:29 AM
My blond next door neighbor bought a toy poodle. It didn’t live very long though.
It died when she tried to put the batteries in it.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 28
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:54:29 AM
High School Government Class....true story....unfortunately.



Since we're at the end of the presidential campaign, I figured
some political humor might be in store.

The following is a funny and true story shared with me by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School . In one of KC's classes, they were discussing
the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple.

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was
the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was
this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but
everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ...

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this
country than one born by c-section?"



And someday she'll vote!



She probably drives now, too.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 30
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/19/2009 6:29:55 AM
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
Me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
Started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
The table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
Her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
Nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .
















'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
 Scheherrazade
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 31
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/19/2009 7:06:02 PM
What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
You don't' appreciate either one till they go down on you!

What does a blonde and Jello have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 32
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/20/2009 9:06:04 AM
A Native American man approaches 3 women on a reservation and asks them, "What are you"?

1st one replies 'I'm an Arapaho

2nd one replies "I'm a Navaho"

The blonde responds, "I'm just a regular ho"
 AmericanPieQT
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 35
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History
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:08:26 AM
A pretty blonde decided to make some money by doing odd jobs for folks.

She stopped at this nice yellow house in the country and asked the man answering the door if he had any work to do around his place. The man replied "Actually I would like a new coat of paint on my porch. How much will you charge for that?" She said $50. He told her the yellow paint and all brushes were on the side of the house.

Later the blonde comes back to the door and tells the man she is finished and said that she had paint left over so she gave it a second coat. He paid her the $50. Before leaving she said "By the way, it's not a Porsche, it's a Mercedes".
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 36
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/23/2009 7:56:55 AM
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor’s dog.
The dog has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, 'I've had enough of this'

She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, 'The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?'

The blonde says, 'I've put the dog in our backyard, let's see how they like it.'
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 38
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:21:06 AM
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.



Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.

'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.

'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.

'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.



'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.



'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister.

Her mother died, too!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 39
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:20:13 AM
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde
was using the following password:



MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When asked why such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and
include at least one capital.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 42
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/25/2009 7:50:06 AM
Why isn't there any brunette jokes?
Because the blondes would have to think of them!
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 45
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 12/1/2009 7:55:50 AM
A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets
up, and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she
will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto
and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the c-ckpit and tells the pilot and the
co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, who belongs in
economy class, and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because
she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto
and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police
waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married
to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh,
I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said
to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her, "first class isn't going to Toronto ".
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 48
Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 12/24/2009 7:49:46 AM
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.

''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again .

''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde.

Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''

The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''
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